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| Goats comic strip from October / 19 / 2006: one for the road (3) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Diablo: So Fineas is coming back? / Fish: Yeah. I don't know when, but soon. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Diablo: I'm not a big fan of that dude. Can we send him to the movies permanent-like? / Fish: We need him. He's the only one who can help us find Phillip and fix the multiverse before it gets all messed up in 2012. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Diablo: I'd say it's pretty messed up, and there's not much we can do about it. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: Things are not so bad in the multiverse! I like it here. / Diablo: Oh yeah? We've got racism, sexism, ageism, terrorism, cronyism and cataclysm to deal with. Not to mention tuberculosis, multiple sclerosis, cistic fibrosis, gay hypnosis, penile necrosis, reverse osmosis, spontaneous combustion, cancer, virgo and syphillis. This may be the worst possible existence. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: But it's ours! / Diablo: Yeah, I guess it's pretty good. http://www.goats.com/archive/061019.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 23 / 2006: one for the road (4) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Carl: Fish, I think you're underestimating your abilities here. You could save the universe just fine all by yourself! You don't need that guy. / Diablo: Yeah, what's Fineas got that you don't? / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: Centuries of programmed combat experience, lightning-fast reflexes and a keen insight into the dark hearts of his enemies. / Roger: Anybody can have that. I have that. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: Also, he can kill a man with a taco sauce packet. / Carl: That's pretty cool, actually. / Alfred: I 'ave heard of such theengs but only in fairy tales! Fairy tales about green elf ladies with eight breasts and an insatiable sexual appetite. / Diablo: Great. Now I have an insatiable sexual appetite for tacos. http://www.goats.com/archive/061023.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 24 / 2006: one for the road (5) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: All of this peer support is making my head hurt. I am not used to encouragement! / Diablo: It's making me queasy too. Alfred, where's the elimination station in this place? I have to float a milky way. / Alfred: Ze loo, she is right around ze corner zere. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Diablo: Don't wait up for me folks, this may take a while. I'm setting sail for a three-hour tour. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / [[Bathroom (Axis Pub)]] / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / [[Bathroom (Axis Pub)]] / Diablo: Oh shit. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / [[Bathroom (Axis Pub)]] / Machine Elf: Well I sure am trying to. Why don't you take a picture? http://www.goats.com/archive/061024.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 25 / 2006: one for the road (6) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Diablo: Dudes! There's a supernatural pooper back here! / Machine Elf: I'm not supernatural. I'm Italian. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Alfred: Lucky you! You have found ze machine elf! Eef you collect nine more you can trade zem in for ze stuffed Leetle Nemo feesh doll. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Diablo: What's a machine elf? / Machine Elf: You're joking. You don't know? / Roger: Savage. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Machine Elf: Self-transforming machine elves are the functional unit of the universe. We're the engine man. We're frigging awesome. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Machine Elf: Our constant dance creates reality as you perceive it! / Diablo: Okay, this guy is freaking me out a little. http://www.goats.com/archive/061025.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 26 / 2006: one for the road (7) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Alfred: Eet eez quite simple, really. God, he created ze multiverse, right? But he was pretty high at ze time. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Alfred: Zo he creates ze typewriter monkeys to come up with ze stuff to fill up ze multiverse, and zen he makes ze funny dancing elves to implement ze monkey writings. Zat way he can watch Adult Swim on ze couch with ze Cheez Doodles. / Machine Elf: I friggin' hate those monkeys. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: Can we see it? / Machine Elf: See what? / Fish: The dance that you use to make the universe. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] http://www.goats.com/archive/061026.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 30 / 2006: one for the road (8) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Diablo: Okay, now he's just showing off. / Fish: It's beautiful. http://www.goats.com/archive/061030.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 31 / 2006: one for the road (9) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Machine Elf: Okay, folks, show's over. I gots work to do. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Machine Elf: Lessee here... Some monkey wants a repair made on an unauthorized spontaneous axis shunt located in this here Axis Pub. There's been an accidental crossover into one of the Low Resolution zones. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: What's a low restitution zoo? / Machine Elf: I'm here to fix a leak. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Machine Elf: Looks like we caught it in time, though. No stray pixels. Pun levels are high, but not dangerous. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Machine Elf: It's coming from behind here. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis, Axis shunt (hole))]] / [[Low Resolution zone (through Axis shunt)]] / Little Sis: Friend of yours? / Nipples the bear: Nope, but the facial hair means I'm not violating parole. http://www.goats.com/archive/061031.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 01 / 2006: one for the road (10) | [[Undisclosed Location]] / Text: Live Fast * Die Young http://www.goats.com/archive/061101.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 06 / 2006: one for the road (11) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis, Axis shunt (hole))]] / Fish: So this is a hole to another world? / Machine Elf: You got it, bubs. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Alfred: A hole? How embarrassing! Can it be sealed up? Ze pixels, zey get into everyzing. / Machine Elf: Theoretically it can be sealed, but that would take a friggin' chorus line's worth of dancing. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis, Axis shunt (hole))]] / Machine Elf: Best I can do on my own is a jig, maybe a hustle if you're lucky. / Diablo: And what does a jig get us? / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Machine Elf: I can redirect the hole into a neutral area. It'll be drafty, but at least you won't have to deal with stray sexual innuendo or robots or nothin'. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis, Axis shunt (hole))]] / Diablo: I can do the electric slide. / Machine Elf: That's nice. http://www.goats.com/archive/061106.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 07 / 2006: one for the road (12) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis, Axis shunt (hole))]] / Fish: Wait. You can make this hole go somewhere else? / Machine Elf: Yeah. Where did you have in mind? / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: Oliver said that Jon and Phillip were in some weird grayscale bar just outside the electric donkey-drome levels of the twelfth domain. / Alfred: Zat place, eet sounds familiar. / Machine Elf: I know the joint. You wanna go there? No problem. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: Hurk! / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fish: Hitting is wrong! / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fineas: Aww. Even your moral outrage is adorable. http://www.goats.com/archive/061107.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 08 / 2006: one for the road (13) | [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fish: I was doing just fine without you. / Fineas: You were about to make a major strategic error. / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fish: You don't know that! Carl said that I underfesterate my mobilities too much. I could do okay maybe! / Fineas: If you go through that hole you'll find the programmer, sure. But it's a one-way trip. / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fineas: You'll be stuck there. You need the transport robot back from Oliver. Once Oliver is neutralized and you control the assets you can go find your bar buddies. / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fish: You just want revenge. / Fineas: Revenge is just a side dish. It's the rice and beans to the enchilada of saving the universe. / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fish: You're trying to distract me with deliciousness! No. We're doing it my way. http://www.goats.com/archive/061108.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 09 / 2006: one for the road (14) | [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fineas: We're doing it your way? What is this, Burger King? / Fish: Yes! That is what I said, don't wear it out! / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fineas: Fine. / Fish: And you can't stop me! I will defend myself with furious punches! Punches of death! / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fineas: I won't stop you. / Fish: Why not? / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fineas: I'm giving up. You do what you want. Six years from now, you'll still be trapped in that bar with your friends, sipping cocktails and cracking jokes as all of existence shuts down around you in a blink and a sigh. / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fineas: And your last thought will be that you wished you had listened to me. God, I love spite. / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] http://www.goats.com/archive/061109.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 13 / 2006: one for the road (15) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: Wait! Fineas? Where are you? Fineas!! / Carl: Hey buddy. Wake up! / Roger: I think he's hallucinating. / Diablo: He has got to give me the number for his service. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Alfred: I often find zis particular cocktail to be of assistance in situations such az zese. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: Agh! What is that? / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Alfred: Windex and Diet Coke. / Fish: The aftertaste is terrible. http://www.goats.com/archive/061113.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 14 / 2006: one for the road (16) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis, Axis shunt (hole))]] / [[Pub (Stub, through Axis shunt)]] / Machine Elf: I don't got all day, folks. You going through or not? This is a one-time, one-way trip and I have other appointments this afternoon. / Fish: I... I don't know what to do! / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis, Axis shunt (hole))]] / [[Pub (Stub, through Axis shunt)]] / Diablo: I thought we were still doing that whole "Find-Phillip-debug-universe-save-everything" plan. Did we switch plans? No one told me we were switching plans. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: Fineas is gone. What if he was right? What if I'm choosing wrong? / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: What if I'm leading us all into a trap? A bottomless trap filled with monsters and razor blades and rubbing alcohol that will eventually result in our total annihilation? / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis, Axis shunt (hole))]] / [[Pub (Stub, through Axis shunt)]] / Machine Elf: Sounds like a weekend with my in-laws. / Diablo: You go first. http://www.goats.com/archive/061114.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 15 / 2006: one for the road (17) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: I can't make this decision. / It's too big! / And I am too little to make it. / Alfred: You are not ze leetlest customer I have had, you know. Zere was zis party of uplifted naked mole rats, zis ees back en 1992 Earth equivalent, which is quite a lot of years ago. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Alfred: Zey all ordered super-tiny Bacardi and Cokes, every one of zem. / Such a waste of a table. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Alfred: Anyway, zey run zis interdimensional baby food cartel. Zey smuggle ze baby food to feed ze babies in ze planes under topekan sanctions. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Alfred: Babies from all over ze known multiverse rely on zese tiny hairless moles for ze daily mooshed carrots and such. And zere is nothing more important zan when ze baby gets ze baby food, yes? / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: So you're saying I should sell baby food! / Alfred: Just go through ze hole. Eet will be okay. http://www.goats.com/archive/061115.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 16 / 2006: one for the road (18) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: I wish this would all just take care of itself and everything would end up okay and everyone would be friends and live forever with ponies. / Machine Elf: We haven't implemented that feature yet. / Diablo: Yeah! Ponies who drink Red Bull and smoke cigarettes and have chainsaws for arms! Frigging awesome! / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Carl: C'mon, Man, you got to trust in your gut. Do what you think is right. That's the only way a man lives without regret. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis, Axis shunt (hole))]] / [[Pub (Stub, through Axis shunt)]] / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis, Axis shunt (hole))]] / [[Pub (Stub, through Axis shunt)]] / Fish: We're going to get Phillip. If we get stuck, at least we'll all be stuck together. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Machine Elf: Like Courtney Love passed out in a pile of vomit, needles and vibrators. / Diablo: Okay, no more analogies from you. You're cut off. http://www.goats.com/archive/061116.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 20 / 2006: one for the road (19) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis, Axis shunt (hole))]] / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Diablo: You guys comin'? / Roger: Yeah, what are we doing? / Carl: We'll tag along for a bit. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Roger: I thought we needed to go find Oliver and Khan Junior's body, as per our sworn oath and stuff. / Carl: We can't do that from the bottom of a hole. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Roger: Good point. / Carl: Besides, we don't know where Oliver is. This may be our best chance of finding him. / Roger: Let's go! / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis, Axis shunt (hole))]] / Machine Elf: And Elvis has left the building. What a bunch of weirdos. You know them? / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Alfred: Know who? http://www.goats.com/archive/061120.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 21 / 2006: one for the road (20) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Alfred: Eez zat ze time? I had no idea it had gotten so late. / Machine Elf: You go on ahead. I'll lock up. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Alfred: You are ze saint! / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / [[Office (Alfred's)]] / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / [[Office (Alfred's)]] / Jon: Where the hell is Phillip? / Alfred: Customers! http://www.goats.com/archive/061121.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 22 / 2006: one for the road (21) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / [[Office (Alfred's)]] / Alfred: Just one moment, please! I am coming! / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / [[Office (Alfred's)]] / Alfred: My apologies, how can I help- / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Alfred: Well hello! Would you like to open ze tab? http://www.goats.com/archive/061122.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 23 / 2006: the cows of justice (1) | [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmhand Brock: This has become boring! / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Phillip: I don't think it's supposed to be fun. / Farmhand Brock: I require constant infusions of popular culture and bloggers blogging about popular culture in order to survive. / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Phillip: Hey Smiley! Why haven't we been released yet? / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmtrooper(s): You are now prisoners. You must be processed before confinement. / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmhand Brock: Oh shit! We're gonna be cuisinarted. / Phillip: What's 'processed' mean? / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmtrooper(s): You will be drained of all gametes, pollen, sperm and other reproductive fluids for genetic storage and patenting. Your DNA sequence is now the intellectual property of the Topekan Empire. http://www.goats.com/archive/061123.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 27 / 2006: the cows of justice (2) | [[House (Jonathan Rosenberg)]] / [[Room (Home office)]] / Jonathan Rosenberg: Today is my 33rd birthday. / / [[House (Jonathan Rosenberg)]] / [[Room (Home office)]] / Jonathan Rosenberg: 33 years, and what do I have to show for it? Two thousand brilliant but misunderstood comic strips. / / [[House (Jonathan Rosenberg)]] / [[Room]] / Jonathan Rosenberg: A dead cat. An expensive, inoperable clothes dryer. / / [[House (Jonathan Rosenberg, on roof)]] / Jonathan Rosenberg: A few secondhand robotic machine gun emplacements. / / [[House (Jonathan Rosenberg)]] / [[Room (Home office)]] / Jonathan Rosenberg: I bet Warren Buffet was doing better than this by 33. I bet Warren Buffet was drinking the blood of his accountants from a diamond goblet on his 33rd birthday. / / [[House (Jonathan Rosenberg)]] / [[Room]] / Jonathan Rosenberg: I'm gonna have to face it. I'm addicted to failure. / / [[House (Jonathan Rosenberg)]] / [[Room]] / Jonathan Rosenberg: And the only cure for failure is a lethal dose of cough syrup. / / [[House (Jonathan Rosenberg)]] / [[Room]] / Good Hitler: Don't do it, Jon! / George W. Bush: Don't overdose on cough syrup! / Jonathan Rosenberg: Good Hitler? George W. Bush! What are you guys doing here? / / [[House (Jonathan Rosenberg)]] / [[Room]] / George W. Bush: We're all here, Jon. Me, Good Hitler, one of those slug things, the fat chess kid and his toy, we're all here for ya! / Speak-N-Spell: Spell "open bar" / / [[House (Jonathan Rosenberg)]] / [[Room]] / Jonathan Rosenberg: Hoggle! / Hoggle: Jon, you should start a covert antiterrorist agency independent from any governmental oversight. / Jonathan Rosenberg: Okay! / / [[House (Jonathan Rosenberg)]] / [[Room]] / Reese Witherspoon: Happy birthday mister cartoonist. / Jonathan Rosenberg: Well hello Reese. / Gus: Yes, happy birthday and such. / / [[House (Jonathan Rosenberg)]] / [[Room]] / Jonathan Rosenberg: This is great, guys. I can't believe all you second-tier characters took the time to throw me a birthday party. Maybe I won't kill myself after all! / / [[House]] / [[Room]] / Sporkles Mackenzie: Awesome! / megaGAMER I: TOTALLY SWEET / megaGAMER II: CHOOSE LIFE / Jonathan Rosenberg: You guys are the best hallucinations ever! http://www.goats.com/archive/061127.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 28 / 2006: the cows of justice (3) | [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Phillip: You want our sperm? / Farmhand Bean: It looks like this is going to have a happy ending afterall. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmhand Brock: Can those of us without prostate glands be excused? We've been waiting here for hours. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmtrooper(s): Attention prisoners! The Grand Extractionatrix has arrived! / Grand Extractionatrix: Sorry we're late. The urethra weasels were especially frantic this morning. http://www.goats.com/archive/061128.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 29 / 2006: the cows of justice (4) | [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Grand Extractionatrix: Urethra weasels, report! Jean-Paul! Soren! Friedrich! Go to town, boys. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Phillip: This is ridiculous, you can't fit something that big in a ureth- / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Phillip: WHOOAA-ARGGHH! / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Phillip: Now I know how the Hindenburg felt! / Farmhand Bean: Grah. / Farmhand Brock: I'm going to go back in time and kill my grandparents so this can never happen. http://www.goats.com/archive/061129.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 30 / 2006: the cows of justice (5) | [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Grand Extractionatrix: Did you know that urethra weasels were one of the first biological tools developed under the Useful Animals Initiative of the last minor age? / Farmhand Bean: Please kill me. / Farmhand Brock: Ooh! Me too! / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Grand Extractionatrix: They were once used for equine husbandry! Though only the largest workhorses were able to survive the strain. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Grand Extractionatrix: They're not genuine pureblood weasels, of course. There's ten percent aardvark, twelve percent wolverine, a smattering of vole. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Grand Extractionatrix: It's rumored that some human perineum genes may have been introduced in an early developmental generation! / Farmtrooper(s): Ma'am? I have to leave on account of my having to vomit. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Grand Extractionatrix: Why don't you take a stroll around the block? I'm going to be busy with these boys for at least a couple of hours. / Phillip: Would you mind murdering us on your way out? http://www.goats.com/archive/061130.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 04 / 2006: the cows of justice (6) | [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmtrooper(s): I'm just gonna go lie down for a while. I'll be back... uh... Thursday. Maybe. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Grand Extractionatrix: By Pan's Testes! I thought he'd never leave. Weasels, disengage and withdraw! / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Phillip: If I ever get out of here I'm going to make weasel gyros out of the lot of you. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Grand Extractionatrix: Now why would you do such a thing to weasels that just helped rescue you? / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Grand Extractionatrix: Besides, they taste terrible. http://www.goats.com/archive/061204.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 05 / 2006: the cows of justice (7) | [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Phillip: Farmella! / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: I came as quick as I could. What my ma is doing is wrong! I couldn't let them torture you. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmhand Brock: So the large rodent that just emerged from my netherparts was preventing torture? I see. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: When they told me to bring you to Guantanamo Twelve, I knew I had to do something. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: The real Grand Extractionatrix is a secret drinker, even though boozin's punishable by havin' you head confiscated, as ya know. I sent her an anonymous pitcher of mai tais. Two hours later and she was unconscious. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: I stole her outfit and weasels. Looks pretty good, huh? / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Phillip: You had a pitcher of alcohol and you gave it to someone else? / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Many Bothans died to bring us those mai tais. http://www.goats.com/archive/061205.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 06 / 2006: the cows of justice (8) | [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Weasels, stay here and be good. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Quickly! We've got to get outside the compound. Follow this corridor. / Farmhand Bean: It's dank. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to dry it for you, old man. / Farmhand Bean: No, that's fine. I like dank. / / [[Topeka Prime (Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmhand Brock: This was all part of my brilliant plan, you know. / Phillip: Get in the hole. http://www.goats.com/archive/061206.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 07 / 2006: the cows of justice (9) | [[Topeka Prime (Escape Corridor)]] / Phillip: You've got to take us to Manhattan 3, Farmella. I've got to go back home and get a singularity from these guys I know. / / [[Topeka Prime (Escape Corridor)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: We've got to get offworld, but not there. That's the first place they'll look for you. No. We've got to go somewhere so suicidally stupid that they'd never suspect that we'd be dumb enough to go there. / / [[Topeka Prime (Escape Corridor)]] / Phillip: I'm dumb enough to do just about anything. / / [[Topeka Prime (Outside)]] / Farmhand Brock: Are you dumb enough to fight a giant hovering double-assed monster? / Phillip: Why? Is it the sort of thing we're likely to be doing today? http://www.goats.com/archive/061207.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 11 / 2006: the cows of justice (10) | [[Topeka Prime (Outside)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Cow-snatcher. / Phillip: I thought you said no one had seen one of these in a thousand years. / / [[Topeka Prime (Outside)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Well obviously that no longer applies. / Farmhand Bean: I suppose mayhap there ain't been no witnesses because they all get et. / / [[Topeka Prime (Outside)]] / Farmhand Bean: Oof! Guess I shoulda seen that comin'. / Farmhand Brock: No! I'm too talented to die! / / [[Topeka Prime (Outside)]] / Farmhand Bean: If today is to be our harvest dar then I shall be the reaper. / / [[Topeka Prime (Outside)]] http://www.goats.com/archive/061211.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 12 / 2006: the cows of justice (11) | [[Topeka Prime (Outside)]] / / [[Topeka Prime (Outside)]] / / [[Topeka Prime (Outside)]] / / [[Topeka Prime (Outside)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: It was a machine! Why would anyone make a mechanical cowsnatcher? / Farmhand Brock: Can we discuss the philosophical ramifications of this later? / / [[Topeka Prime (Outside)]] / Phillip: What the hell is in those cookies? / Farmhand Bean: Trans-fats. http://www.goats.com/archive/061212.html |
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