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| Goats comic strip from August / 28 / 2006: making a hole (17) | [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Brock: So, to summarize, I don't believe the universe is fated to end, I don't believe you're some sort of supernatural supercomputing savior, and I don't believe we need your assistance. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Brock: Robert, I'll be in the solarium if anybody needs me. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Bean: Ah, don't listen to that bugger. Brock means well, but he's an angry soul. / Violent Robert: He's a conscript, brought here against his will. Like you. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Bean: Aye. He's never forgiven the Topekan government for ripping him away from his old life. The life of a moderately successful artist living in Hollywood seventeen with his roomate, Scott, a miniature elephant who had decided to move there to pursue his dreams of becoming a sitcom star. / Violent Robert: A normal life. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Phillip: Jeez. I had no idea. / Violent Robert: No. You couldn't have. http://www.goats.com/archive/060828.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 29 / 2006: making a hole (18) | [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Phillip: Has anyone ever told you that you look just like Silen[blocked text] / Violent Robert: No. No one ever has. / Farmhand Bean: Looks like we're on our own for this one, boys. Brock's in one o' his moods. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Phillip: Whatever it is you've got planned, I'll take over for the broccoli man. / Farmhand Bean: There ain't nothin' planned. I'm in charge of this cell, but Brock, he does all of our strategerizin' for us. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Violent Robert: He's a natural military genius. / Phillip: The broccoli? / Farmhand Bean: There's no limit to the amount of sufferin' that vegetable can inflict if he puts his mind to it. He used to be a barista. / / [[Topeka Prime (Solarium of Sadness, The Cave)]] / Text: Meanwhile... / Farmhand Brock: I hate this song. This song has too many notes in it. http://www.goats.com/archive/060829.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 30 / 2006: making a hole (19) | [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Phillip: Look, I'm not really well-informed enough to make an intelligent decision about which side of your conflict I should be supporting. So I'm going to be impulsive and help you guys blow stuff up. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Bean: Hooray! Let's hug. / Phillip: Also, as a liberal New Yorker, I've always secretly sympathised with terrorists. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Phillip: And I'm great at coming up with plans! You just tell me what to do and I'll come up with a foolproof plan. Like if you wanted to call up somebody and pretend to be Arnold Schwarzenegger from Kindergarten Cop, I know exactly how to do that. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Violent Robert: Can you get us to another dimension without using the Knack? / Phillip: Oh sure, you betcha. I figured that one out weeks ago. Let's do the prank call first. Beep boop. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Violent Robert: You can't dial a rock. / Phillip: This is John Kimble! Who is my daddy and vat does he do? It's not a tumor! http://www.goats.com/archive/060830.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 31 / 2006: making a hole (20) | [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Phillip: I'm a cop you idiot! / Violent Robert: Are you sure you grabbed the right messiah? / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Bean: Yes, o'course. He's the one Farmella brought back from the Pub Stub. I seen it with my own peepers. / Violent Robert: Okay, I have an idea. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Violent Robert: Beep Beep Boop / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Phillip: You kids are soft! You lack discipli- Hey, that's call waiting. Can you hold one minute? / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Phillip: Phillip's interdimensional house of pancakes. How can I direct your call? / Violent Robert: Hey, it's Robert. Listen, we could really use your help overthrowing the government. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Phillip: You know these aren't really phones, right? / Violent Robert: Yes, I know. / Phillip: Okay, just checking. http://www.goats.com/archive/060831.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 05 / 2006: making a hole (21) | [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Bean: What we need is a way to travel between worlds without relyin' on the Farmer's daughters. / Violent Robert: If we can get off-world on our own we could hide from the Farmer's troops. We could get help. We could warn other levels before they're overwhelmed with value-priced prepackaged snack foods. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Phillip: Conceptually, it's pretty easy. We need something dense enough to poke a hole in the fabric of the universe. Like a singularity, or a black hole, or Paris Hilton. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Bean: I don't think I have any singularities on me. / Violent Robert: Me neither. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Phillip: I know a couple of guys back home I stole one from once. Man, they were pissed off. And Oliver's got to have one, right? Hmm. Is there a Radio Shack near here? / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Violent Robert: We live in a cave. / Phillip: This is going to be tougher than I thought. http://www.goats.com/archive/060905.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 06 / 2006: making a hole (22) | [[Topeka Prime (Solarium of Sadness, The Cave)]] / Phillip: Knock Knock / Farmhand Brock: You may enter my solarium of sadness. / / [[Topeka Prime (Solarium of Sadness, The Cave)]] / Phillip: Hey there, scary vegetable man! Listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot. / Farmhand Brock: There is no right foot! There are no feet at all! / / [[Topeka Prime (Solarium of Sadness, The Cave)]] / Farmhand Brock: And now my black mage has lost valuable hit points. Is there no end to your meddling? / / [[Topeka Prime (Solarium of Sadness, The Cave)]] / Phillip: No. Do you have a gravitational singularity handy? / Farmhand Brock: If my hatred for you could be represented in physical form its dense-osity would surpass a thousand singularities. / / [[Topeka Prime (Solarium of Sadness, The Cave)]] / Phillip: Sweet. Can I borrow one? / Farmhand Brock: No. Hatred cannot be represented in a physical form. Yet. http://www.goats.com/archive/060906.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 07 / 2006: making a hole (23) | [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Brock: Okay, cretins! It's time for thinking. Who has the singularities that we know about, and where? / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Phillip: I think there's two. Oliver, he could be anywhere. Neil and Bob, they're back home. That's, uh, Manhattan Three. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Brock: So we need to get offworld. At the moment, there's only one way to do that. / Farmhand Bean: There ain't no way. The Farmer's daughters would never betray Wheatina. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Brock: Maybe not for you. You're uglier than Jeff Goldblum in a cuisinart. But for mister transistor jockey here, I bet Farmella whips off her chastity belt so fast we hear the sonic boom. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Brock: Oh programmer! Have vertebrate-style sexual congress with me! / Farmhand Brock: Okay, I will! Your cloaca is so hot. http://www.goats.com/archive/060907.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 11 / 2006: making a hole (24) | [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Brock: ...and then Phillip does a spinning reverse dismount off Farmella's shoulders into the attacking farmtroopers. Hi-ya! While this is happening, Violent Rob places the last of the explosive charges around the Axis Pub Shrine perimeter. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Brock: Next, I'll enter the Shrine holding an adorable dwarf hamster. It is at this exact moment when Farmella will be most vulnerable to suggestion. The explosives should go off seconds after she knacks us all to Manhattan 3, destroying what's left of the Axis Pub and preventing the troopers from following us. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Phillip: They were right... you're a tactical genius. / Farmhand Bean: With a plan like that, there's no way we can fail! / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmtrooper(s): Everyone take off all of your clothes and get down on the floor. / Phillip: Where did that door come from? http://www.goats.com/archive/060911.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 12 / 2006: making a hole (25) | [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Phillip: Man, this is like the fifth table I've been strapped to. / Farmhand Bean: Seventh for me. But only the third most comfortable. / Farmhand Brock: My perfect plan is ruined! But how? / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmtrooper(s): Our surveillance network is vast. There is no escaping our eye. / Farmer Wheatina Bloomers: Also, Bean dropped his wallet. / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmhand Bean: Thanks ta God, it's found! I thought I'd haveta cancel all my credit cards. http://www.goats.com/archive/060912.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 13 / 2006: making a hole (26) | [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmer Wheatina Bloomers: Oh, Bean. I can't tell ya how much your betrayal pains me. I am so disappointed to see ya like this! / Farmhand Bean: You usedta like seein' me horizontal back in the day. / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmer Wheatina Bloomers: You forget your place, Bean / Violent Robert: What place is that? Behind you, or on top? / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmtrooper(s): Central Command, please dispatch a roll of paper towels to the visitor's lounge right away. http://www.goats.com/archive/060913.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 14 / 2006: making a hole (27) | [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmer Wheatina Bloomers: Dispose of the meat. Have Farmella and your men take Bean and the vegetable offworld to Guantanamo Twelved for routine torture and naked human pyramid practice. / Farmtrooper(s): And the Programmer? / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Farmer Wheatina Bloomers: He has work to do. Put him back in the labs with the other two conscripts. And lock the door. / / [[Topeka Prime (Complex, Visitor's Lounge)]] / Phillip: It's days like this I wish I had paid closer attention to "Quantum Leap." / / [[Middle Pangaea (inside tent)]] / Text: Meanwhile... / Toshi Diplo: You were okay. Be back here tonight at sundown. Now get to work. http://www.goats.com/archive/060914.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 18 / 2006: knackin' boots (1) | [[Middle Pangaea]] / Grif Pentax: You took that graymeat weakling to your bed? / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Toshi Diplo: It's not as if you are capable of satisfying me there. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Grif Pentax: You are lower than an individually wrapped slice of American cheese. You know that my vow of not gettin' it on is the only way that I can maintain The Knack. Without me, your offworld raids would be impossible. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Toshi Diplo: Then it is a good thing for us both that the Programmer is here to replace you. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Grif Pentax: A narwhal on Viagra could not replace me! A giraffe encased in carbonite could not replace me! http://www.goats.com/archive/060918.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 19 / 2006: knackin' boots (2) | [[Middle Pangaea]] / [[Wound]] / Grif Pentax: You will brief me on your progress. / Jon: I'm much better at briefing people when I have pants on. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / [[Wound]] / Grif Pentax: There is no time for pants! Pants are a luxury we cannot afford! Have you created the weapon yet? / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / [[Wound]] / Jon: Not yet. The turtle keeps crashing. / Grif Pentax: Have you made any progress at all? / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / [[Wound]] / Jon: I made a hole that kittens come out of. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / [[Wound]] / Grif Pentax: Do you expect us to destroy our enemies with kittens? / Jon: No. Kittens are peaceful. http://www.goats.com/archive/060919.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 20 / 2006: knackin' boots (3) | [[Middle Pangaea]] / Grif Pentax: You waste our time with all of this kitten creation and copulation. No more! / Jon: I'm not copulating with the kittens. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Grif Pentax: You stay away from Toshi and keep your mind on the task at hand. / Jon: Oh hell. Grif, she made me sleep with her! I didn't know it was optional! I didn't want to have sex with her. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Jon: Actually, even I don't buy that. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Jon: But she's all yours, man. Go for it! You won't regret it. Know what I mean? / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Jon: She does this thing with her elbows, I've never seen anything like it! And I'm not even into elbows. http://www.goats.com/archive/060920.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 21 / 2006: knackin' boots (4) | [[Middle Pangaea]] / [[Wound]] / Jon: ..And then he shoved me into the sand up to my shoulders. / Glock: You're lucky. That means Grif likes you. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / [[Wound]] / Jon: Yeah. Right. / Glock: If he didn't like you he wouldn't have stopped at your shoulders. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / [[Wound]] / Jon: I didn't ask for any of this. Toshi forced herself on me! / Glock: Uh-huh. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / [[Wound]] / Jon: She did! And besides, I already have a girlfriend. / Glock: Sure you do. Is she invisible? / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / [[Wound]] / Jon: She's... she's from another dimension. / Glock: Which one, Canada Nineteen? http://www.goats.com/archive/060921.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 25 / 2006: knackin' boots (5) | [[Middle Pangaea]] / Jon: Goddamn ape. Shoving people into the ground. It's not my fault I'm all manly and hirsute. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Glock: Look, what did you expect? You boned a woman that Grif has been lusting for since he hit puberty. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Jon: If Grif loves Toshi so much then why doesn't he bone her? It's not like she's picky. / Glock: Grif can't ever have sex. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Jon: Why not? Is he some sort of closeted hamsexual rabbi? / Glock: Learning the Knack of trans-pub transport takes years of training. It reconfigures the bits of the brain where tingly sex feelings happen. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Glock: Even a single moment of sexual bliss can wipe out everything Grif has learned. / Jon: That's terrible! He will never know the tender embrace of ham. http://www.goats.com/archive/060925.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 26 / 2006: knackin' boots (6) | [[Middle Pangaea]] / Jon: Okay. I think we're ready. / Glock: Go through the checklist. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Jon: GNUniverse 1.3 is loaded. We have control over local bandwidth. Time flow is set to low, and patricide paradox controls are in control. / Glock: Then punch it. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / Jon: It's funny. Here we are, developing a weapon capable of destroying entire planes of existence. Am I conflicted? Regretful? Disgusted? Maybe a little. But mostly I'm just intrigued. / Glock: Shut up and punch it. / / [[Middle Pangaea]] / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Nice decor. / Glock: Try not to look at the universe directly. It can cause tumors and insanity. http://www.goats.com/archive/060926.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 27 / 2006: knackin' boots (7) | [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Initiating visual interface. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Semigod: Hello, unregistered user! I am the semigod for this artificial pocket universe. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Semigod: If you find this pocket universe useful, please consider registering it by sending twenty dollars to Weenix Pasternak via the cognitive dissonance zone. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket, Valentine's Day theme)]] / Jon: Fricking nagware. / Semigod: Registration includes user support and access to downloadable themes! / Glock: No thanks, remind us later. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Semigod: Please select an option. / Text: Create / Destroy http://www.goats.com/archive/060927.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 28 / 2006: knackin' boots (8) | [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Glock, what do I do now? / Glock: You're the programmer. You tell me. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Create. / Semigod: Do you wish to define your creation from scratch, or do you want to import an existing creation from the multiverse? / Text: Create / -New / -Import / / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Import? What sort of things can I import? / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Semigod: You have read access to all standard multiverse objects. / Jon: Hm. Okay. Import Jared Levine from, uh, Manhattan 3, circa 1982. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jared Levine: You suck. You suck hard, Sucky McSuckington. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Now import three dozen Scooby-Doo metal lunch-boxes about a hundred feet directly above him. http://www.goats.com/archive/060928.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 02 / 2006: knackin' boots (9) | [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Man, this is great! How many of the other kids I grew up with can I crush with lunchboxes? / Semigod: There are three hundred and six schoolchildren remaining. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Glock: Having fun? / Jon: You have no idea. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: I'm sure you can do all sorts of things in here, create lots of virtual Jodie Foster sex slave zombies and what-not, but the potential for revenge is going to keep me busy for weeks. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Glock: But they're just copies. They're not real. / Jon: Maybe they could be. Semigod, is it possible to export things created here back into the regular multiverse? / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Semigod: That feature is only available to registered users. Would you like to register now? http://www.goats.com/archive/061002.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 03 / 2006: knackin' boots (10) | [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Well, the power to create anything I want is certainly tempting, but I'm still not convinced. What else do I get for my Action Jackson? / Semigod: Registered users get access to additional features. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Like what? / Semigod: A third main option. / Jon: A third option? / Semigod: A third option. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: What else is there besides create and destroy? / Semigod: There's an instant salami button. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: And what happens when you press the button? / Semigod: A salami is created at a random point somewhere in the multiverse. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Well I'm sold. That's value. http://www.goats.com/archive/061003.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 04 / 2006: knackin' boots (11) | [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Semigod: And if you'll click the button labeled "I AGREE", we can get you started. / Jon: What is all this? / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Semigod: Standard end-user license agreement boilerplate. Nothing you need to worry about. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Wait. What is this bit where I yield control over my free will? / Semigod: We almost never invoke that clause. It's all very standard, I assure you. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Well, if it's all standard, then I guess I can agree to it without scrolling down and reading the rest. / Semigod: All this language here is to protect you, friend! / / [[Xibalba]] / [[Office (One Death's)]] / Jon: You know, you're pretty trustworthy for a mysterious guy in a giant mask. / One Death: You're too kind. http://www.goats.com/archive/061004.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 05 / 2006: knackin' boots (12) | [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Glock: It's very nice that you took time to register the shareware and all, but how is this going to help us blow up Topeka Prime? / Jon: That's a breeze. Hey, Semigod. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Semigod: Howdy, registered user! Would you like to purchase an extended warranty? / Jon: Semi, I'd like to import ten thermonuclear warheads and then re-export them to Topeka Prime. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Semigod: Weapons of mass destruction are classified as non-standard multiverse objects and require administrative access. / Jon: Goddamned activist judges! / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Glock: It doesn't matter. We've nuked them before, remember? They're like cockroaches. We could send them a hundred nukes and they'd still come crawling back. We need a final solution. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Like a 3-molar potassium chloride aqueous solution. / Glock: What? / Jon: Never mind. http://www.goats.com/archive/061005.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 09 / 2006: knackin' boots (13) | [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: This isn't right. I should be feeling some guilt about planning the murder of billions. / Glock: Guilt is a useless emotion. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: But I should be feeling it. I'm Jewish. / Glock: You're not feeling guilty because nothing that you are doing is real. None of this is really real. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Glock: Our true nature is artificial. It makes it pretty damned difficult to take anything too seriously. You kiss a girl, you crush a desert mouse in your hand, you annihilate a universe or two. It's all just bytes in the wind. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Great. Now I'm going to think of genocide every time I listen to Kansas. / Glock: I feel the same way about Billy Joel. http://www.goats.com/archive/061009.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 10 / 2006: knackin' boots (14) | [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: This isn't a proper setting for pondering these sorts of things. We need to get ourselves to a pub and do some serious thinking. / Glock: It's a fine idea, but the nearest and only pub around is the Axis Pub, and there's been no ale there for thousands of years. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Maybe there's another option. Semi, is it possible to export ourselves to another place in the multiverse? / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Semigod: Export requires the deletion of the initial sentient entity from local memory upon successful export to a new set of coordinates. There can be only one copy of a sentient i.d. in the system at any given time to prevent conflicts. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: In English, please. / Semigod: You can go anywhere you want but you gotta be destroyed and recreated in order to do it. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Jeez, that's a bit drastic. / Glock: I guess you'd literally have to be dying for a beer. http://www.goats.com/archive/061010.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 11 / 2006: knackin' boots (15) | [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: I guess dying and being recreated wouldn't be so bad. The new guy would have to take over my student loans. Plus, none of this is real, right? / Glock: Well, wait a minute. That doesn't necessarily mean I want to die, either. / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Semi, export is to the Pub Stub. / Semigod: You got it, boss! Initiating "transport"! / / [[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Oh holy assmaster! I'm melting! / Glock: What a world! / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: Fifteen minutes! I believe he's the new record holder for quickest turnaround on a sold soul. / Seven Death: This is going to be a great quarter. http://www.goats.com/archive/061011.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 12 / 2006: knackin' boots (16) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: Who the hell are you? Where's Alfred? / One Death: Alfred had to run a quick errand in another level of existence. You could say I'm looking after the place while he's gone. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: As for me? This fiscal year my name is One Death. I'm your new boss! Not quite same as the old boss, however. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Glock: The programmer is under contract to us. And by contract, I mean threat of dismemberment with this huge knife. / One Death: We publish the gnuniverse 1.3 software that your friend here just registered. The license agreement clearly states that the user surrenders all rights to free will upon termination of their life. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: And you made that super-easy for us by killing yourself, didn't you? / Seven Death: He's a model employee. http://www.goats.com/archive/061012.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 16 / 2006: knackin' boots (17) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / Glock: Okay, this game is over. / One Death: Yes, I quite agree. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Glock: Hot crap in a cup! / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: That's much better. / Seven Death: Rainbow Brite makes my loins tingle in technicolor. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: Dammit, why is there never an Alfred around when you need one? / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Alfred: And zen you garnish with ze flat noodle. And zat is how you make ze key lime casserole martini! / Roger: It tastes just like key lime casserole. http://www.goats.com/archive/061016.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 17 / 2006: one for the road (1) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Carl: Thanks for the whistle-wetting, Alfred. / Roger: Yeah. All this discussion of our backstory has me parched. / Fish: It feels like it's taken months! / Alfred: Time, she eez like a limber lover, or maybe like ze Silly Putty. She stretches in all ze crazy directions, no? / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Diablo: So what happened after you pledged your lives to protecting Khan Junior's body in the wake of the absolutely incredible events you've told us about? / Carl: That's pretty much it. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Diablo: But what about all the supporting characters? What about Loose Betty? What about Harelip Jackson? What about Mrs. Squicky? Eelfingers Rutherford? Shoeless Joe Gupta and the Gupta-ettes? What happened to them? / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Carl: They all graduated from the School of Visual Arts and got jobs at Viacom. / Roger: They were never heard from again. Except for Joe Gupta. He became a world-famous pimp. / Fish: Good for Joe! http://www.goats.com/archive/061017.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 18 / 2006: one for the road (2) | [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: You know, it is good to hang out with you guys. / Roger: Yeah, we should drink in underground pubs more often. / Diablo: Let's pick one with fewer pulped slugs. My toes are getting wrinkly. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: But Fineas will be back soon. I can feel him waking up. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Fish: Roger and Carl, we need to get going pretty soon. / Carl: We should probably be going ourselves. / Roger: Yeah, Khan Junior's body isn't going to guard itself. / / [[SlimeWorld]] / [[Pub (Axis)]] / Alfred: Surely you can make time for one last round, gentlemen? / Diablo: But that's it, then. One more drink and I'm off to save the universe. http://www.goats.com/archive/061018.html |
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