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| Goats comic strip from July / 06 / 2006: battle of the network slugs (22) | Tell me where Phillip is, Oliver. / You tell me where the robot is, I'll tell you where I put Phillip. It's a fair trade, I think. Like NAFTA but with less Mexicans involved. / / Without the robot, there's no way for me to check if you're telling me the truth. / You're a resourceful dude. You'll... http://www.goats.com/archive/060706.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 10 / 2006: battle of the network slugs (23) | You never really appreciate your internal organs until they start bursting. / Tarfon, initiate return ambulation sequence, code seven, to my current location. / / My sweet, sweet spider-baby! / / Daddy's here now, sweetie. He'll take care of everything. / / I left your drinking buddies in some weird grayscale bar... http://www.goats.com/archive/060710.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 11 / 2006: battle of the network slugs (24) | This has been a major miscalculation. How could I have lost to Oliver?! / / You lost because you did things the mean way. Oliver is not so bad, he would have helped us save the universe if we had asked him nicely. / / Oh, sure, as if we could just engage the... http://www.goats.com/archive/060711.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 12 / 2006: battle of the network slugs (25) | I am so sorry, zis bar, she eez a mess. / That's okay, we're just happy for the hospitality. / / I really should check in more often, but zis pub almost never gets ze customers. Zo, what brings you two here? / / A fish, two chickens, a robot and some slugs. / Ah yes, I have heard zat joke before,... http://www.goats.com/archive/060712.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 13 / 2006: battle of the network slugs (26) | Ooh, that guy is such a jerk! That's it, I'm not playing with him anymore. / / Fish? / Yes! It is me! Fineas was doing a bad job so I unpeached him out of office. / / Is he gone? / No. I made him take a time-out in the corner. So we have to hurry! / / Where are we hurrying to? There's some sort of... http://www.goats.com/archive/060713.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 17 / 2006: battle of the network slugs (27) | Hello? Is anyone alive down there? / / Allo to you too! You are just een time for zees perfectly aged Glenrothes I was about to open. It was bottled in 1912, the year that Teddy Roosevelt owned ze distillery. Very rare! / / You stay the hell away, devil fish.... http://www.goats.com/archive/060717.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 18 / 2006: battle of the network slugs (28) | Oh yeah. This feels as good as a hug from Reese Witherspoon. / Zis Reese, she must be a superior hugger. / / I wouldn't know. I've never been hugged. / Zis ees a tragedy! I would hug you but I an not techncially here. / I don't hug. / I hug, but only mammals. / My skin carries a deadly electric charge. / / That is what... http://www.goats.com/archive/060718.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 19 / 2006: battle of the network slugs (29) | We prefer not to be called henchmen. That term is offensive. / We're mercenaries, or agents, or ideally bodyguards. In that we guard the body. / / Oliver's body es muy pequeno. It takes two of you? / We're not guarding Oliver's... http://www.goats.com/archive/060719.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 20 / 2006: battle of the network slugs (30) | How did you come about zis line of work, zis guarding of ze body? / That's a long, tangential and mostly irrelevant story which will take, oh, I don't know... / Three weeks. / / At least three weeks to tell. / Maybe more if he adds a B-story. / / It's 1994, see, and we're seniors at the School of Visual... http://www.goats.com/archive/060720.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 24 / 2006: goats open mic week (1) | DIABLO AND FISH: BFF
/ by L.Fry / / Hi Diablo What are you doing today / I'm making the world a better place!! / / I'm hand-altering the DNA of your favorite super heroes! / Oh boy! / / SUPER-PUNISHER has guns growing out of him in several places / That must save you time! / WHAT / / SUPER-WONDER WOMAN now... http://www.goats.com/archive/060724.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 25 / 2006: goats open mic week (2) | Diablo? While I, Fish, am currently in control over Fineas, could you answer a question of upmost importance for me? / / Whatever, Fish. Shoot. / / Keep in mind; It's very important! / Yes! Yes! What do you want?! / / If I was to meet Reese Witherspoon in person; Do you think she would like me more if I was wearing... http://www.goats.com/archive/060725.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 26 / 2006: goats open mic week (3) | Meanwhile, in a dimension not too far away... / Sporkles, God-emperor of Ba'Coon, demands the prisoner be dragged in! / / What's that you say, emperor? As punishment, the criminal must fellate seventy-three cows? / / Now put his left hand in a bowl of relish. And tie his shoelaces together. / Mff-Mggghm? / Because... http://www.goats.com/archive/060726.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 27 / 2006: goats open mic week (4) | ALL GOOD CHILDREN BUY MY TOY http://www.goats.com/archive/060727.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 28 / 2006: goats open mic week (5) | The following takes place shortly after the events told in Contains One Space Battle. / Goodnight Mom. Goodnight Dad. / / / Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray to God, my soul to keep. Please bless Mom... and Dad... and... / / Aaaahhh!! I want to vomit, sneeze, crap, burp and kill myself all at... http://www.goats.com/archive/060728.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 31 / 2006: making a hole (1) | Programmer! What are you doing out here? / Respiring. / / You'll have to respire indoors, it is cow-snatcher season! We must all stay inside the complex. / How long does cow-snatcher season last, exactly? / / No one knows. So far it has lasted a little over 6,000 years. / Well, look on the bright side. At least... http://www.goats.com/archive/060731.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 01 / 2006: making a hole (2) | So what does a cow-snatcher look like, anyway? / They're nasty beasts. / / Cow-snatchers are sorta like two dragon butts strapped together that just keep makin' each other angrier and angrier. They fly over the fields, scoopin' up cows and careless folk into a great maw full of giant teeth. Teeth the size... http://www.goats.com/archive/060801.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 02 / 2006: making a hole (3) | Text: Howdy kids! No new strip today. On Tuesday I moved from my tiny Manhattan apartment to a tiny house in Northern Westchester County, about an hour north of the city. While I was packing, I came across some strips I did for The Observer, my high school's student newspaper, back in December of 1989.... http://www.goats.com/archive/060802.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 03 / 2006: making a hole (4) | God's truth is that I sneak out of the complex m'self from time to time. / You're not scared? / / They say the complex defense grid keeps the monsters at bay, but I think, just maybe, the monsters don't exist. Maybe they just make up the stories to keep us inside. / To keep us calm and under control. / Penned... http://www.goats.com/archive/060803.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 07 / 2006: making a hole (5) | How's it going? / Data from the latest simulation is coming through now. / Also I have made another pot of coffee! / / I must say that I was a bit concerned about the mandatory coffee rule earlier but now I am coming around. / ...And it looks like we have another failure. No hole in the skin... http://www.goats.com/archive/060807.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 08 / 2006: making a hole (6) | C'mon, Yakmeat! You're being such a party pooper. / You are defecating on our festivities. / / I think we could speed the process along a bit, is all. / We've got years to figure this thing out! Plus, swords are awesome. / / You don't get it. Every time we run a simulation, we... http://www.goats.com/archive/060808.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 09 / 2006: making a hole (7) | Wait a second. These are simulated lives we're talking here, right? It's not like I'm mass-murdering genuine fleshbabies. / / We're all simulated, remember? / Ah, dammit. This is just like one of those ethical quandries you're always hearing about. / / So let... http://www.goats.com/archive/060809.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 10 / 2006: making a hole (8) | [[Topeka Prime (Cowputer Labs)]] / Phillip: Yakmeat, why didn't you tell me I was playing God here? / Yakmeat: You're the damned Programmer. You're supposed to know this stuff already, aren't you? / / [[Topeka Prime (Cowputer Labs)]] / Phillip: I don't know my own shoe... http://www.goats.com/archive/060810.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 14 / 2006: making a hole (9) | [[Topeka Prime (Cowputer Labs)]] / Phillip: I am not someone who should be entrusted with control over the fate of infinite worlds. / Yakmeat: You thought you could be a messiah without having to make any hard choices? / / [[Topeka Prime (Cowputer Labs)]] / Yakmeat: You thought it was all about the fast... http://www.goats.com/archive/060814.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 15 / 2006: making a hole (10) | [[Topeka Prime (Cowputer Labs)]] / Phillip: I'm taking a break. / Cornhusk: You just took one ten minutes ago. / / [[Topeka Prime (Cowputer Labs)]] / Phillip: Ten minutes ago I wasn't the most effective mass murderer in history. I'm taking a break. / / [[Topeka Prime (Cowputer Labs)]] / Phillip:... http://www.goats.com/archive/060815.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 16 / 2006: making a hole (11) | Oh shit. Explosive Oreo. http://www.goats.com/archive/060816.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 17 / 2006: making a hole (12) | Ungh. Wha? / / / Howdy to ya, sweetcheeks! This is yer official resuce and liberation! http://www.goats.com/archive/060817.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 21 / 2006: making a hole (13) | We best be leavin' fore the farmtroopers get here. / Bean! Why?! Why did you do that?! / Do what? / Blow up the window with an Oreo cookie. / / Oh, that. Oreos is the last walkin'-around food they still let you have without checkin' it for explosives. Y'cant't walk five feet with a sports drink... http://www.goats.com/archive/060821.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 22 / 2006: making a hole (14) | Hold on one second, please. / / / Okay, the rescue of the programmer can now be continuin'. / What am I being rescued from, exactly? / / Oh, you know. The clutches of an oppressive, restrictive society that would use you as a pawn in their self-fulfilling prophesies, prophesies of unending proactive war across... http://www.goats.com/archive/060822.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 23 / 2006: making a hole (15) | So this is the cave, mister programmer. These fellas here are Farmhand Brock and Violent Robert. They're part of the resistance cell. / Hello. / Hi. / / Brock, are you a lady vegetable also? / I am considered extremely macho by broccoli standards. / / Well, it's... http://www.goats.com/archive/060823.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 24 / 2006: making a hole (16) | [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Violent Robert: They say you're the programmer. Is it true? / Phillip: That's what they tell me. / / [[Topeka Prime (The Cave)]] / Farmhand Brock: Personally I don't buy into any of that religious crap. The universe isn't going to... http://www.goats.com/archive/060824.html |
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