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| Goats comic strip from October / 12 / 2001: the new economy (part 2) (6) | There were demons here? Real Demons? and nobody called me? / It was just for coffee. / / I can't believe you. You're so insensitive. / I swear it didn't occur to me that you'd be this upset. I apologize. / / Are they hiring? / I'll pass along your resume. http://www.goats.com/archive/011012.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 14 / 2001: the new economy (part 2) (7) | Dear Mom,
/ Hi! It's Megan. Just wanted to send you a note and let you know everthing is fine. / / I'm still in New York; my consulting firm laid me off and conveniently went out of business, effectively stranding me here with no work. / / Rent isn't a problem... I've moved in with my new boyfriend, actually.... http://www.goats.com/archive/011014.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 15 / 2001: meat of the infidels (1) | Kabuki dinner theater. / Shoes for cats. / Too cultural. / Too kitschy. / / Home-based meat service with a pneumatic delivery system and metered usage. / There's no business model for faucet-based meat. / / Central meat isn't a valid business model, but psychic advice talklines are? / Sad, isn't it? http://www.goats.com/archive/011015.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 17 / 2001: meat of the infidels (2) | So how does this psychic phone dealie work? / You call people up and tell them frighteningly accurate information and threatening predictions. / / I want a turban. Like that other T.V. psychic chick. / Fine, you can have a turban. / / Now, I declare jihad! / Oh, we're gonna get some angry letters this week. http://www.goats.com/archive/011017.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 19 / 2001: meat of the infidels (3) | It's a psychic talk line. I tell you vague, ominous statements about yourself, and you feign amazement and pay me lots of money. / / No, see, we call you. It saves you the hassle of dialing yourself, like those other psychics expect you to. / / You only think you don't need a psychic. I can psychically... http://www.goats.com/archive/011019.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 22 / 2001: meat of the infidels (4) | I predict that you will soon hear a cow. / Moo. / / No, that was an ethereal spirit cow mooing from beyond the grave. / Spoooooky cow! / / I also predict that tonight's episode of "Titus" will be a rerun. / I am a ruminant! Moo! http://www.goats.com/archive/011022.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 24 / 2001: meat of the infidels (5) | That spirit cow is calling you, Margaret. Calling you into the new, highly convenient world of central meat for only pennies a day. / / You too can enjoy the benefits of having scads of tasty raw meat pumped directly into your home. / Is she buying it? / / She's calling the cops. / Good. Word-of-mouth is the most... http://www.goats.com/archive/011024.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 26 / 2001: meat of the infidels (6) | C'mon, Margie! Are you telling me you don't want me to give you a chance to experience the pure power of meat, 24 hours a day? / / More meat than a little girl like you can handle, i'd warrant more than likely. / Why hasn't she hung up on you yet? / / She says I got it goin' on. / Give me the phone. I need to... http://www.goats.com/archive/011026.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 29 / 2001: meat of the infidels (7) | The woman that was threatening to call the police not five minutes ago? / Margie and I are eloping. / / That was before we discovered our common love of convenience and value. / and what happened last time you rushed into this sort of relationship? / / I know. We all do. / You're right. I... I'm so sorry. I just... http://www.goats.com/archive/011029.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 31 / 2001: meat of the infidels (8) | You'll regret buying into all that Harry Potter propaganda when they finally invade and you're knee-deep in wizards. / I'm a meat salesman. / Selling door-to-door meat is difficult. People keep giving me candy and sending me away. / I went through my candy like hot oatmeal through an internally-buttered weasel. / Next... http://www.goats.com/archive/011031.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 02 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (1) | So it looks like Megan is moving in permanently. She's having her stuff shipped from back home. / / Lauren moved in last month after we got engaged. / Any other news you've neglected to mention? / / My socks get crinkly when the sweat dried on them. / Sadly, I already knew that. http://www.goats.com/archive/011102.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 05 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (2) | So Lauren and Phillip got engaged? / Unbelievable, huh? They've moved in together. / / I guess that makes us next, eh? / Megan, they've been dating for, like, 3 billion years. / / If we use your definition of 'year', we've been together for 1.6 billion years. / And they say I can't commit. http://www.goats.com/archive/011105.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 07 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (3) | It's beautiful, Lauren. Congrats. / Thank you! It's so exciting, isn't it? / / So how did you finally get him to pop the question? / Ultimatums. / / Ooh. Good one. Mind if I write that down? / Please do. http://www.goats.com/archive/011107.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 09 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (4) | Hey, Jay! Where've you been? / I've gotten engaged, boys! To a lovely woman! / / (Something is wrong here) / Say, You'll have to come out to Jersey some time for a barbecue. / / Oh my lord, he's sober. / We've lost another soul. / Anyone up for a little housewares shopping? http://www.goats.com/archive/011109.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 11 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (5) | Hi. My name is ToothGnip. I'm here to give you respite from this insipid, trite storyline. / / I'm here to give you what you really need: Hot Lovin'. A little bit of chaos. And most importantly, me. / / When you're as big a star as I am, you come to expect that the fans need to be reassured from time to time.... http://www.goats.com/archive/011111.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 12 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (6) | Oh my god, Phillip, what the hell happened to Jay? / Forget about Jay. What if that happens to me. / / You have to break off the engagement. / I'll end up shopping for china patterns at Fortunoff. / / It's strange how I've never really considered dating from an end-game perspective before. / Kill me. http://www.goats.com/archive/011112.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 14 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (7) | So Jay is completely brainwashed? / It's as if his bachelor gene was completely eradicated. / / Hm. This sounds like the work of the Ko-Tex. / The Ko-Tex. / / It's a bit complicated. Let me tell you a little story. / Oh, please don't. / Milk and cookies, please. http://www.goats.com/archive/011114.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 16 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (8) | Months after Shazam Twix defeated Gregor Mendel in the head-to-head roller biathlon championships, Brussels was still celebrating his victory. Twix owned the heart of the city. / / Lucrative commercial endorsement contracts rolled in. Lockheed martin, Gymboree, Lenny's house of flan, Potato hut... all the... http://www.goats.com/archive/011116.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 19 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (9) | Each night, we would leave our flat overlooking the grand-place and strike out for our local haunt, Planet Cocktail Bar, where Twix would procure that evening's sexual conquests. / / Ladies would gather around our table three deep, sucking down mojitos as Twix regaled them with tales of the new branches... http://www.goats.com/archive/011119.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 21 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (10) | Late one wednesday evening, Shazam Twix, enjoying the rejuvenating effects of a meal of Kraft dinner (and a side of shelled peanuts - my specialty), remained late at Planet Cocktail bar, seducing co-eds with tales of his hostage regotiations prowess during the second great Albanian crisis. / / As he droned... http://www.goats.com/archive/011121.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 23 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (11) | As my Ka phased back into existence, I found myself inhabiting the body of an old Ukranian woman in 1963 South Carolina. / Oh Boy. / / / Thinking quickly, I flung myself in front of a speeding train... and was returned instantly to my present-time body. / / / A little drastic, eh? / It took that Bakula guy, like... http://www.goats.com/archive/011123.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 26 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (12) | I awoke to a dark and deserted Planet Cocktail bar. Twix (and whatever large-breasted, morally ambiguous schoolmarms he had brought to his bed that evening) had clearly left long ago. The mysterious woman with the inconvenient gaze was gone as well. / / Locked in, I made my bed amidst crates of olives and... http://www.goats.com/archive/011126.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 28 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (13) | I found Twix and the mystery woman right where I had expected -- a sidewalk table at 'Incontinent Freddie's Hedonism Den and Brunchery'. Freddy himself was not in attendance that day as his mere presence tended to have a negative effect on both the hedonism and the brunching. / / He was eating quiche and... http://www.goats.com/archive/011128.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 30 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (14) | I walked up to the time-shifting temptress and took the waffle from her breakfast plate, gaining an important tactical advantage and three charisma points. As I'm sure you know, the taking of the waffle is one of the most grievous insults possible in Belgium-land. / / Clearly incensed, she rose from her... http://www.goats.com/archive/011130.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 03 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (15) | "I'm sorry to have to run off so quickly," said Menstrua, "but I do have pressing business with your friend Shazam Twix. I'll leave you in the care of my colleages, the Ko-Tex." She disappeared in an extravagant (but tasteful) flash of light. /
/ / / From out of the shadows of this netherverse crept a... http://www.goats.com/archive/011203.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 05 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (16) | The Ko-Tex were closing in quickly all around me -- there was nowhere to escape to. I had but seconds before they would tear me into nuggets. I shed a single tear, regretting that I had never told Martha how I had truly felt about her. / / Just as I was about to meet my maker, Gloria Steinem broke through... http://www.goats.com/archive/011205.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 07 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (17) | Gloria told me her story over a shared mayonnaise 'n' peanut butter sandwich. Gloria and Menstrua were fraternal twins (ironice, eh?) raised by a Zen Buddhist enclave of enlightened Teamsters high in the Ural Mountains. / / While they were both infused with the feminist ideal during their childhoods (unions... http://www.goats.com/archive/011207.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 10 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (18) | Gloria gave me a Space/Time Distortion Detector, a hickey, and a lucky pair of fuzzy dice. She bade me goodbye. We embraced, and then she was gone as quickly as she came. That was the last time I saw her. But sometimes, when I'm dining at a seafood restaurant, I still think of her shiny, shiny face. / / I... http://www.goats.com/archive/011210.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 12 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (19) | I called out to Twix, hoping to pierce that blank stare and bring him back to his wits. Suddenly, I was barraged by what seemed like thousands of the diminutive, angry transdimensional Ko-Tex. They swarmed from hidden nooks and crannies like anti-butter. I braced myself for the worst. / /
/ /
/ / The Ko-Tex... http://www.goats.com/archive/011212.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 14 / 2001: first comes love... (and the twix saga, pt. 3) (20) | Thousands of flushed Ko-Tex can wreak havoc on a department store's fragile indoor plumbing system. Filene's basement exploded in a torrent of gray water, and Twix and I were washed out into the parking lot along with hundreds of wool scarves and mittens with pictures of dogs on them. / /
/ / We were mired... http://www.goats.com/archive/011214.html |
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