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| Goats comic strip from March / 23 / 2001: reader satisfaction week (2) | Goats Presents: Reader Satisfaction Week / Little Laurie Haversham writes: "Why don't Neil and Bob start a band? I bet they'd be great!" / / You can dance if you want to...
/ You can...um...plug up your behind... / / That's why. http://www.goats.com/archive/010323.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 26 / 2001: reader satisfaction week (3) | Goats Presents: Reader Satisfaction Week / l33thaxxor@aol.com writes: "I wanna see Diablo demonstrate some of his Satanic gifts!" / / He sends socks EVERY GODDAMN CHRISTMAS. / / Socks for Christmas: now that's evil...reader-satisfyingly evil!! http://www.goats.com/archive/010326.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 28 / 2001: work it, girl (1) | Your girlfriend is nice. / Yeah. / Thank you. / / She's pretty, too. / Yeah. / Thank you. / / Can we see her boobies? / Yeah! / No. http://www.goats.com/archive/010328.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 30 / 2001: work it, girl (2) | Why won't you let Neil and Bob see your girlfriend's boobies? / Go away. / / Geez, you're cranky. She break up with you? / She was gone this morning! Without a word! / / Maybe she went to work? / What's work? http://www.goats.com/archive/010330.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 02 / 2001: work it, girl (3) | Megan! Megan, where are you? / I'm at work. Why? / / What's this work thing people keep talking about? / / So you haven't left me? / If you promise not to freak out for the next six hours, I'll buy you a black + white cookie on my way home. http://www.goats.com/archive/010402.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 04 / 2001: work it, girl (4) | I'm an internet consultant at Soylent, Jon. You knew that. / Like what I do, but with fancier titles. / / Exactly. / So you're sure you're not leaving me, right? / / Yeah. Can I call you back? Someone else's ego needs stroking. / Phillip wants a cookie, too. http://www.goats.com/archive/010404.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 06 / 2001: work it, girl (5) | What is it now? / Our client has emasculated me once again. / / They may as well have nailed me to a cross and used my intestines as a clothesline. This is art, dammit, not Paint-By-Numbers. / / They want the buttons to be blue, Arnaud. / I'm going over there with a crowbar and a can of gasoline. http://www.goats.com/archive/010406.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 09 / 2001: work it, girl (6) | Fred and Ethel were just laid off, along with all our Biz Dev folks. / But we have a client meeting tomorrow, Flynn. We need them. / / You'll just have to make do somehow. / How? / / Mike has some hand puppets that look a lot like them. / I'm going to start a bakery. http://www.goats.com/archive/010409.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 11 / 2001: work it, girl (7) | Hand puppets are the wave of the future, Megan. / Oh really, Mike? / / Yeah. When the bottom falls out of this consulting thing, I'll still be raking in the dough from my hand-puppet porn website. / / Who's your daddy!? Who's your daddy!? http://www.goats.com/archive/010411.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 13 / 2001: work it, girl (8) | Hi, I'm Megan. What can Soylent do for you? / My company needs a website. / / Great. What sort of website are you looking for? / I don't know. / / You don't know. / But whatever it does, it should do it automatically and only cost ten dollars. http://www.goats.com/archive/010413.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 16 / 2001: work it, girl (9) | With Soylent's system, all you have to do is update the link in the database when there's a product change. / That's too hard. / / You're going to have to do some maintenance, you know. / We'll just stop making new products. / / Well, that's definitely efficient. / I get my pension in three weeks. http://www.goats.com/archive/010416.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 18 / 2001: work it, girl (10) | Okay. I've talked with our engineers, and they can set it up so all you'll have to do is press a button. / It's still too hard. / / But you only have to press a / I don't want to have to do any work at all. / / But it's just one / LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU I CAN'T HEAR YOU http://www.goats.com/archive/010418.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 20 / 2001: work it, girl (11) | Where is everyone? Afternoon layoffs? / No. Soylent has stopped laying off employees. / / Really?! / Yeah. It's much cheaper to just slaughter them - no severance payments. / / Sarah, Alden and Frank, please report to the abattoir. Everyone else, there'll be meatloaf in the kitchen at noon. http://www.goats.com/archive/010420.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 23 / 2001: work it, girl (12) | Neil! Bob! What are you guys doing here? / We need help improving our website. / / You guys have a website? / Stoolfairy.com! Like the Tooth Fairy, but less teeth. / / You're right. You do need help. / You can exchange your stool for fabulous prizes. http://www.goats.com/archive/010423.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 25 / 2001: work it, girl (13) | UGH. / What we really want to do is increase the site's feces factor by, say, 3 times. / Or four. Four times. / / That's it! Both of you, out. Run along. / I love the way she manages the client. So authoritative. / Man, she's good. / / I said OUT!! / We've been bad. Very bad. / We need a consultant to spank us. http://www.goats.com/archive/010425.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 27 / 2001: work it, girl (14) | Megan! You're home from work! / One black + white cookie, as promised. / / I'm so glad you're home. I had the worst day ever. / Are you okay? / / I got a paper-cut on my drinking hand! / Well, everything's gonna be okay now. http://www.goats.com/archive/010427.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 29 / 2001: advanced dungeons & hamsters | My mage and elf hamsters enter the Cavern of Vague Sexual Allusions. / It is dark. You are likely to be penetrated by a Beefnut. / / My elf hamster ignites it's farts with the Flame of Extreme Prejudice. / The room grows bright. You see a scorched and angry Beefnut clutching it's genitals. / / My mage throws the... http://www.goats.com/archive/010429.html |
| Goats comic strip from April / 30 / 2001: you're so vain (1) | What are you doing? / I'm starting a webcomic about computer gamers. / / But you don't know anything about games. / I know that there's an audience out there just waiting to be manipulated. / / Why do you need to manipulate an audience, anyway? / Manipulation is its own reward. http://www.goats.com/archive/010430.html |
| Goats comic strip from May / 02 / 2001: you're so vain (2) | Diablo, you can't just go out and start a comic strip. It requires immense amounts of artistic talent and writing ability. / Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Hee / / Hee Hee / / And your concept isn't even original. / Oh, you're killing me. Really, you should be writing these. Hee Hee. http://www.goats.com/archive/010502.html |
| Goats comic strip from May / 04 / 2001: you're so vain (3) | Why a comic strip about computer gaming? Why not something new and innovative? / You're so out of the loop. / / People don't create their own identities anymore. It's much easier to just choose one of the many convenient subcultures already available. They're all prepackaged and come with their own line of... http://www.goats.com/archive/010504.html |
| Goats comic strip from May / 07 / 2001: you're so vain (4) | I HAVE THE NEWEST GAME FROM JAPAN!!!! / YOU ARE SO 3L33T!!! / / MY GAMES MAKE SO LITTLE SENSE, THAT I AM THE KEWLEST d00d / OBSCURITY OWNZ j00!! / / NOW I CAN MAKE ADDITIONAL POP CULTURE REFERENCES TO DIFFERENTIATE MYSELF FROM MY SUBURBANITE PARENTS! / MY PANTS ARE BIG!!! http://www.goats.com/archive/010507.html |
| Goats comic strip from May / 09 / 2001: you're so vain (5) | dOOd, ZAXXON ULTIMATE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN TEKKEN: BEEFNUT WARRIORS. / YEAH!!! / / YOU SAID YOU LIKED TEKKEN YESTERDAY, YOU HYPOCRITE. / YOU CALLED ME A HYPOCRITE? OH, THE HORROR! I FEEL FAINT! DOCTOR, COME QUICK! / / DOCTOR MASTURBATES FURIOUSLY / FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!! http://www.goats.com/archive/010509.html |
| Goats comic strip from May / 11 / 2001: you're so vain (6) | This isn't art. You're just cutting and pasting geometric shapes. / Oh, how naive you can be. / / My stark artistic style and exacting line makes it appear as though I'm cutting and pasting, but it takes incredible amounts of skill to make each panel look exactly the same. / / This character is a floating square. / That's... http://www.goats.com/archive/010511.html |
| Goats comic strip from May / 14 / 2001: you're so vain (7) | Your strip doesn't have anything to do with games! This is just absurdist humor shamelessly kowtowing to a market segment! / / Of course. If I spent my time researching my subject matter, I wouldn't have time to craft this intelligent, witty storyline. / / Your readers are sure to see through your little ploy.... http://www.goats.com/archive/010514.html |
| Goats comic strip from May / 16 / 2001: you're so vain (8) | So how's your comic strip going? / I quit. Drawing is dangerous. I hurt my ass finger. / / Your "ass finger"? / / Diablo, what's an "ass finger"? / If you don't know, I'm certainly not going to tell you. http://www.goats.com/archive/010516.html |
| Goats comic strip from May / 18 / 2001: poker nite (1) | Hi, Mrs. Cheese. Is Eric home? / Larry, the green boy is here for Eric! / / You again! You here to get our boy in trouble? / No sir. It's poker night. / He's in the basement, sweetie. / / You kids these days...no respect for your elders! / I'm 180 years old, sir. / You tell Eric to put his laundry in the hamper. http://www.goats.com/archive/010518.html |
| Goats comic strip from May / 21 / 2001: poker nite (2) | It's Mendel. Let me in. / Those who would enter The Inner Sanctum of The Legion of Villians must know the password. / / C'mon, Eric. Open up. / That is incorrect! / / I brought the beer. / Close enough. http://www.goats.com/archive/010521.html |
| Goats comic strip from May / 23 / 2001: poker nite (3) | Lookee here! I brought beer! / Cool! How'd you get that past my mom? / It's O'Douls, you idiots. / / Fine. Drink your precious O'Douls. / What's wrong with O'Douls? It's Irish. / I don't see why you're getting so testy. / / Let's just play, shall we? / These cards are all stuck together. / I never should have let Sex... http://www.goats.com/archive/010523.html |
| Goats comic strip from May / 25 / 2001: poker nite (4) | And I'll take two, Evil Jon. / Two cards for the geneticist. / / What's everyone holding? / I have three aces. / I have six aces. / / I have a pair of twos and an army of peaplant henchmen. / I fold. / I have chlamydia. / I fold. http://www.goats.com/archive/010525.html |
| Goats comic strip from May / 28 / 2001: poker nite (5) | So, you guys do anything evil lately? / I passed a kidney stone. / I think he means "intentionally evil." / / Oh. Well, I cloned some more lawyers. / I was going to clone Brooke Shields again, but I couldn't get the rights. / / I show you guys one simple trick... / You can't contribute to the open-source community... http://www.goats.com/archive/010528.html |
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