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| Goats comic strip from February / 01 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (16) | [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: Now that we got a few idle mintes I guess we should talk about me bein' your daddy and all. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: There's nothing to talk about. I thank ya for your genetic contribution but that's all there is between us. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: How can ya say such? Yer mah baby girl! / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: I'm no one's baby girl. And remember your place, Farmhand. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: Yer probably mad at me for not bein' there while you were growin' up into a real person. That weren't my choice, I assure ya. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: On the contrary. Better to grow up an orphan than be raised under the corruptive influence of a grizzled peasant sheephumper like yourself. You should have kept your secret, old man. I don't want it. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: Excuse me. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Also, try bathing. / Farmhand Brock: Seriously, she's not kidding. / Over-Clocked Lemon: I can smell you from over here and I do not have a nose http://www.goats.com/archive/070201.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 05 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (17) | [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: It has to have been fifteen minutes now. / Phillip: I'm reluctant to check. / Over-Clocked Lemon: It has been seventeen excruciating minutes / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: The mouth should have opened up by now. What if we're trapped? What if turtlenecks go out of style while we're in here? / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: What then? / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Phillip: Is there any other way out of here besides the mouth? / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: Ew. / Phillip: Okay, forget that idea. / Over-Clocked Lemon: I do not want to be poop / Farmhand Brock: Maybe we could squeeze out the nipples. Like milk. http://www.goats.com/archive/070205.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 06 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (18) | [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: It's become obvious to anyone who isn't an idiot that getting out of here is going to require my superior vegetable intellect. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: Let's begin with your basic array of logic-type deductional sequences, shall we? Observation: we are stuck in a big giant mouth. Possible info-fact deducements include / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: Either the face won't let us out, or he can't let us out. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Rocco is my friend! He would never eat us alive on purpose. / Farmhand Brock: Therefore he cannot let us out. Quick, where is that corndog that was here earlier? / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: He's over here. http://www.goats.com/archive/070206.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 07 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (19) | [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Phillip: Just 'cause you found a partial corndog doesn't make you Sherlock Holmes! Sherlock Holmes had a nose. I know because he put cocaine in it all the time. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: This corndog is native. It winked out of existence at the same time as the rest of the level. That's why you haven't seen him around for awhile. / Phillip: I thought it was because of continuity errors. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: No! There's no error. The dog went away and now... / Phillip: He crashed on reboot. Something went wrong when Pinktopia was supposed to come back. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: That's impossible. System failure ain't on the schedule. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: It may be impossible, but it's also true. And it also means that there's no way back to Pinktopia. / Phillip: That's impossible by definition. http://www.goats.com/archive/070207.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 08 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (20) | [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: The only thing outside those teeth is the interstice. And that ain't even really a thing, per se. / Phillip: I can hold my breath for thirty-five seconds. / Farmhand Bean: They say exposure to the interversal void turns a man into a writhing mass of delicious snack foods. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: I don't buy it. There must be some other reason Rocco won't open up. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: The timetable says Pinktopia came back ten minutes ago. The timetable is based on the Almanac. The Almanac is infallible. Ergo, the timetable can't be wrong. I did the calculations myself. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: Maybe you did the calculations wrong. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Maybe you should go reproduce asexually. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Phillip: Oh my God. Blah blah sex blah! Will you all just please shut up! Maybe it's the Almanac that's wrong. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: Sounds like you're in need of a blashphemer's spankin'! You take back what you said 'fore it makes me start thinkin' independently. / Farmhand Brock: Settle down, sparky. It's just words! Here's your chew toy. http://www.goats.com/archive/070208.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 12 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (21) | [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: I may disagree with the Topekan gubbermint on almost every issue of importance but the one thing I agree with them on is that the Great Farmer's Almanac is the irrefutable word of our Lord, who you personally turned into a pork chop and et. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: You're in that book, mister. It says you're the Programmer. You get to be the messiah! / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: Everything I've done in my life has been in the service of your hot, sexy glory. Why would you go blaspheming yourself? / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Phillip: Look, even if the code monks got all the math right, the simulation they were running probably used a different seed for its randomizer than this iteration of the multiverse. When we were working in the cowputer labs, we couldn't get two simulations in a row where Oprah weighed the same amount. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: That sounds like science! I don't trust it. Science is "Satan" spelled backwards. Or so they tell me. http://www.goats.com/archive/070212.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 13 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (22) | [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: Gol-dang God-eatin' gray-skinned sonnuvabitch gonna git mah hickory switch and show him what's what ah say you don't blashpheme the Almanac in this mouth and git away with it nosiree / Farmhand Brock: Bean, if I give you some of my brilliant, world-reknowned expert advice, will you promise to shut your whine-hole for at least five consecutive minutes? / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: No. / Farmhand Brock: You're not upset about the Almanac. You're upset about Farmella. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: She's mah baby girl and she hates me! / Farmhand Brock: Deep down in her ample, tender bosom Farmella does care about you. Otherwise, she woldn't have stuck her neck ot for you back on Topeka Prime. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Bean: Then why is she so mad all the time? / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: You keep trying to hump her boyfriend. All you steakbodies want is humpings. Humpings all the time! / Farmhand Bean: Curse me and this restless groin o' mine. http://www.goats.com/archive/070213.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 14 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (23) | [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Phillip: What are you doing? / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Trying to put this dog back together. I'm missing an eyeball, two spinal cubes and a crotch-licking subroutine. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Phillip: I'm sure they'll turn up. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: I'm always doing this, you know. Tidying up like mad when everything else in the world is out of my control. My underwear drawer is alphabetized. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: The Almanac is infallible! The code monks figgered all that stuff out centuries ago, it's never been wrong. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Phillip: I'm guessing all those holes in the Almanac conveniently correspond to the bits of history that didn't match up with their predictions. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Phillip: I'm telling you, my sims never got the same results twice. A blade of grass in a strong wind would blow left instead of right. McNuggets came in seven-piece boxes instead of six. Sometimes the village people had a drummer named Herschel. That sort of thing. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Phillip: The truth is you can...reall...anyth... / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: The truth is you can't really predict anything. / Phillip: Wiseass / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Wiseass. http://www.goats.com/archive/070214.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 15 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (24) | [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Phillip: Is that a chunk of central nervous system? / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Think so. / Phillip: Let me see it for a second. / / [[The Interstice (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Phillip: If I quantum-entangle the lemon with this piece of code, I might be able to get access to the routines that would let me reboot Pinktopia remotely. / / [[Ice Nine (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: Hey! The mouth is opening! / / [[Ice Nine (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Phillip: That plan worked so well I didn't even have to implement it! / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: I don't think it worked quite as well as you think. / / [[Ice Nine (Inside Rocco's Mouth)]] / Farmhand Brock: Great. Now I'm going to die frozen. http://www.goats.com/archive/070215.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 19 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (25) | [[Ice Nine]] / Phillip: This is amazing! It's like Disney for Swedes. I'm gonna go roll around in that snowbank. / Farmhand Brock: What's the deal with you dumping us in the freezer section? / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Yes, what happened to Pinktopia? / / [[Ice Nine]] / Percival: Pinktopia never returned from its nonexistence interval. Clearly you have done something to cause this. / Rocco: Also, someone pooted in my mouth. Not cool! / / [[Ice Nine]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: No! We didn't do anything! / / [[Ice Nine]] / Ogden: This was the nearest accessible level. We will leave you here until you bring back Pinktopia and our beloved corndogs. Try and stay warm! / / [[Ice Nine]] / Phillip: Check it out! There's enough sno-cones for everyone. http://www.goats.com/archive/070219.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 20 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (26) | [[Ice Nine]] / Phillip: And this is where we'll build the ice bar! It serves ice. / / [[Ice Nine]] / Farmhand Bean: Come on, we can't be sittin' here in the cold like some sort of weird crippled penguins. Best we be movin'. / Farmhand Brock: Where to? This snowdrift seems as good a place to perish as any of the others. / / [[Ice Nine]] / Farmhand Brock: Hey Programmer! Time to earn your keep. You said something about rebooting Pinktopia by quantum-something your computer lemon dealie and some brains together? / Farmhand Bean: Then maybe the faces would come back for us! / / [[Ice Nine]] / Phillip: No problem. You have a quantum-entangling device handy? / Farmhand Bean: Uh. No. Can we build one from snow? / / [[Ice Nine]] / Phillip: Theoretically yes, but we would need a quantum-entangling device for that. / Farmhand Bean: Can we build one from snow? http://www.goats.com/archive/070220.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 21 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (27) | [[Ice Nine]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: It looks like the only way we're getting off this snowball is if we find the local axis pub. / / [[Ice Nine]] / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: Once we're there I can get us anywhere else in the multiverse, but I can't do anything if we stay here. / Farmhand Brock: This is ridiculous. We're stuck in the middle of an endless frozen wasteland and we're going to look for a bar? / / [[Ice Nine]] / Farmhand Brock: We don't have a clue what direction to look in. We don't even know if the axis pub for this level is on this planet. It could be five galaxies over. / Phillip: There it is! / / [[Ice Nine]] http://www.goats.com/archive/070221.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 22 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (28) | [[Ice Nine]] / Phillip: Beer. / / [[Ice Nine]] / / [[Ice Nine]] / / [[Ice Nine]] / Phillip: What? / / [[Ice Nine]] http://www.goats.com/archive/070222.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 26 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (29) | [[Ice Nine (Outside)]] / [[Spaceship]] / Phillip: Sporkle? The silhouette was Sporkle!? / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Neil: Jeez, Phillip, it's good to see you too. / Phillip: Sporkle isn't beer, Neil. / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Neil: I know, but I can't get enough of it. It's a good thing I stocked up with a few cases last spring before the F.D.A. declared it a controlled substance. / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Neil: If I had nipples they would be like pencil erasers when I drink that stuff. / Phillip: What the hell are you doing here? / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Neil: We had a small disagreement with Oliver. You? / Phillip: Same here. That guy is such a dick. http://www.goats.com/archive/070226.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 27 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (30) | [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Neil: It's pretty crazy that out of the infinite number of infinitely large universes, we end up on the same planet. Practically next to each other. / Phillip: Everything is pretty crazy these days. Did you know I'm the Messiah? / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Neil: Had no clue. Congrats! How's that working out for you? / Phillip: Dogs and old men keep trying to have sex with me and I can't get a drink anywhere. / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Neil: But I bet the hours are good. / Phillip: I'm on call twenty-four hours a day, every day, until the end of time. / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Neil: And when's that? / Phillip: December 21, 2012. / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Neil: That's a terrible retirement plan. / Phillip: This stuff is making my eyes swell. http://www.goats.com/archive/070227.html |
| Goats comic strip from February / 28 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (31) | [[Ice Nine (Outside)]] / [[Spaceship]] / Farmhand Bean: He's been in there for a while now. / Farmhand Brock: We should leave. / Farmella Cummington-Bloomers: We are not leaving the Programmer behind. / / [[Ice Nine (Outside)]] / [[Spaceship]] / Farmhand Brock: Something in there made him freak out like chic. And I, for one, cannot stand disco. / / [[Ice Nine (Outside)]] / [[Spaceship]] / Farmhand Bean: Brock's right. There's prolly all sorts of space creatures in there suckin' away at the Programmer's noggin with their tentacles and probe-o-trons and such. Odds are he's already a vegetable. / Farmhand Brock: Hey! / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Neil: Dude. You wanna try the neural probe-o-tron? / Phillip: I'm not one to pass up a probe-o-tron of any sort. http://www.goats.com/archive/070228.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 01 / 2007: the cows of justice part II: the corndog imperative (32) | [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Neil: I hooked up the neural probe-o-tron to the quantum receiver. It gets the naked channel now. / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Phillip: I just see squiggly doodads everywhere. / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Neil: Don't judge me. I've had a lot of alone time lately. / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Phillip: What about Bob? / Neil: He's, uh... sleeping. / Phillip: And Toothgnip? Is he here? / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Neil: No! Don't say his name! Don't even think it. / / [[Ice Nine]] / [[Spaceship (Room)]] / Toothgnip: This is probably the first time Phillip's been accused of thinking too much. http://www.goats.com/archive/070301.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 05 / 2007: the fine print (1) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / Alfred: Would you folks care to place ze order? Eet has been forty years of subjective time since you arrived and ze glassware, she ees dry as ze great-grandmama who ate ze silica gel packet. / Diablo: Forty years! This is the longest Mexican standoff in history. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: Gentlemen, our host is right. Why don't we put our differences aside for the duration of a drink? This round is on me. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Roger: It's been so long since we got here I don't even remember why we're angry. Why is life so hard to keep track of? / Glock: Tell me about it. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: Let's you and I retire to that booth over there while these fellows get their drink on, shall we? We have some things to discuss. / Jon: Like French impressionism? Because I slept through all my art history classes in college. http://www.goats.com/archive/070305.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 06 / 2007: the fine print (2) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / Diablo: That red dude! He's the one who gave us those spooky demon matches back in New Jersey. / Fish: The matches that burn space and time. The matches that Toothgnip wants. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Fish: Do you still have those? / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Diablo: Yeah. They're in a safe but uncomfortable place. One of these days I'm going to have to get myself some pockets. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Fish: What do you think they're talking about? / Diablo: Britney, probably. I heard she went crazy and tried to eat her baby. http://www.goats.com/archive/070306.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 07 / 2007: the fine print (3) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: You can't just require me to work for you. / One Death: Why not? You're working for Rainbow Brite and it doesn't look like there was much of an interview process. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: That's not work. That's the self-preserving behavior of a desperate man under duress by a giant lizard with a big knife. You'll need more than a polite request to motivate me. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: This isn't a request Kemosabe! You agreed to my software license, which states very clearly that, in exchange for use of the GNUniverse 1.3 Pocket Universe Operating System you surrender to me upon your death all rights to your intellectual property, intrinsic and generated, your physical multiversal presence and image, and your free will. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: What? / Seven Death: You killed yourself so now you're his bitch. I hope you like latex facemasks. http://www.goats.com/archive/070307.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 08 / 2007: the fine print (4) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: By definition, you can't have control over my free will. If you did, it wouldn't be free will anymore. / One Death: That's the thing about free will. It makes you think you're the one in change. Sneaky,huh? / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: Then I'll just do the opposite of whatever you tell me to. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: What if that's what I want you to do? / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: Oh, you bastard. / One Death: Free will isn't the only sneaky one around here. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: The good news is that I'm not going to ask you to do anything that you'll feel uncomfortable about. When the time comes, you'll probably even think its your idea. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: Oh! I almost forgot! Here's your iPhone and your corporate Amex. / Jon: Ohh. Shiny! http://www.goats.com/archive/070308.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 12 / 2007: the fine print (5) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: So what is it you want me to do? / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: Nothing. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: Nothing? / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: Well, nothing specific. For now, you should just go about your regular business. Go off with your friends, have adventures in strange places, that sort of thing. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: That's it? / One Death: Just give me a call every once in a while and let me know how you're doing, or if there's anything I can help with. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: What's the limit on the card? / One Death: Let's just say you have quite a bit of discretionary spending power but check with me before you go buying too many star systems. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: My God. Oprah must feel like this all the time. http://www.goats.com/archive/070312.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 13 / 2007: the fine print (6) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: Jon, it's great to have you on board. I know you're going to be an important part of our team. / Seven Death: The lords of death are equal opportunity employers. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting this afternoon. / Seven Death: Big clients with gobs of billable hours. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / One Death: And please, feel free to flex your new expense account. Let your friends run up the tab! / Seven Death: Don't forget to submit a receipt. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Fish: Mister Jon, you are on fire. / Jon: Thanks. http://www.goats.com/archive/070313.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 14 / 2007: the fine print (7) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / Diablo: So you and that One Death guy were in that booth for a while. Were there makings-out? / Fish: Mister Jon, is he your new boyfriend? / Jon: No, he is not my new boyfriend. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Diablo: It sounds like you're implying that you once had a boyfriend. Is there something you're not telling us? / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: No, I have never had a boyfriend. / Fish: Why not? Are you incapable of feeling love? / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: No! Can we discuss this when I'm not on fire? / Diablo: Methinks the lady doth protest like crazy! / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: Maybe burning to death won't be so bad. / Alfred: Excuse me, but zere is no smoking een ze bar. http://www.goats.com/archive/070314.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 15 / 2007: the fine print (8) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / Diablo: I didn't know you were into the whole interdimensional travel thing, Jon. / Jon: I dabble. Who are those dudes? / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Diablo: Roger and Carl? They were Oliver's bodyguards. They're okay. They're good at beating things up. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: So, uh, what are you guys up to these days? / Diablo: Oh, we're just trying to save the universe. / Fish: From doom! / Diablo: That sort of thing. You? / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: I'm trying to create a doomsday weapon using this turtle. / Diablo: Good for you! It looks like that biology degree came in handy after all. http://www.goats.com/archive/070315.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 19 / 2007: the fine print (9) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / Diablo: The real question is, can it make sandwiches? / Jon: Sandwiches are a breeze. It has a bit of trouble with nuclear weapons. There's restrictions on a whole bunch of potentially fun stuff. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: But it's pretty flexible, and I'm still learning the system. There's no telling what you could do with a turtle and enough spare time. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: It can even be used as a point-to-point multiversal personal transporter with infinite range! If you don't mind dying too much. / Diablo: It beats walking. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Fish: You will hand over that turtle immediately or I will make a handcrafted Jenga set from your ribs. http://www.goats.com/archive/070319.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 20 / 2007: the fine print (10) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / Fish: Give me the turtle, Rosenberg, unless you want radical skin reduction. / Diablo: That means he'll rip all your skin off. / Jon: I know what it means. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Fish: You have three seconds to comply befo- Urgh. No! / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fish: You said you were going to leave me alone. / Fineas: Circumstances have changed. Jon has a device that can alter the nature of reality itself! / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fish: But I like reality the way it is! Except for how magazines are too big for a fish to read comfortably. / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fineas: It's too much power for one man to control. With a device like that, Jon could make it so magazines were never even invented. / Fish: No! http://www.goats.com/archive/070320.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 21 / 2007: the fine print (11) | [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fineas: We're on a mission to save the multiverse before it ends in 2012, right? / Fish: I guess. When you say it like that, it sounds like some crazy Michael Bay movie that is adapted from some crazy Whitley Streiber novel! / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fineas: Did you ever consider that a device like Jon's turtle could very well be the cause of the end of the multiverse? / Fish: No! I had not considered that! / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fineas: Well, consider it now. We need to get that turtle. / Fish: Did you try asking nicely? / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fineas: You don't really think he's likely to just hand it over to us, do you? / Fish: There is only one way to find out. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Fish: Jon, I am sorry for being so angry! Can I please see your neato turtle? / Jon: Sure! Since you asked so nicely. / Diablo: I ask for things nicely! http://www.goats.com/archive/070321.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 22 / 2007: the fine print (12) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / Fish: Time for us to part ways, brother Fish. / / [[Fish's Psyche (Peculier Pub)]] / Fish: My scales! / Fineas: Finally. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Fish: Grach Choke Urk / Text: INTER----- / TRANSPORT COM / TRY AGAIN Y/ / / [[Pub (Stub)]] http://www.goats.com/archive/070322.html |
| Goats comic strip from March / 26 / 2007: the fine print (13) | [[Pub (Stub)]] / Fish: I am so freaked out! What did you just do? Did you just kill me? Am I a ghost? I'm scared of ghosts! / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Fineas: I freed us! You should be on your knees thanking me instead of whimpering in front of this empty meatbag. / Fish: This isn't possible! We were just ideas in my head! / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Fineas: We were one simulation running on top of a larger simulation. Is there really a difference? / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Fish: If that's true, then maybe Reese Witherspoon can come out of my brain also. / / [[Pub (Stub)]] / Jon: Not a chance, loverboy. That's more than enough dead teleport clones for one day. Turtle, restrict all guest access. My voiceprint only. / Voice Synthesizer: No problemo dude-guy. http://www.goats.com/archive/070326.html |
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