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| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Jodoque, ever the musical fellow, composes himself. But in any conversation where Kel offers her opinion, there's plenty more trouble to follow. | Jodoque: Sorry... Go on. / Isolde: Well, the case here isn't that strong. The Shriners claim that Kel's failure to bring Wythllew's head on a silver platter...
/ P'Séaigg: You married that? / Isolde: ...Constitutes negligence and ipso facto, complicity. Which is Stercus bovinus evidentus.
/ Kel: Well, yes!
/ P'Séaigg: Uh... with the rings and the priest, and all that? / [[Isolde speaks off-panel.]]
/ Isolde: However, if she does get nailed for abandonment, then the court will have a very low opinion of her character...
/ Kel: Well... no. If you must know... Jodoque and I don't see the point of such... / Isolde: And then the power of the Shrine-keepers will be more convincing than the logic of-
/ Kel: Stale... old... rituals. Ohshit. / [[Kel and Kangra facepalm.]]
/ Isolde: Thanks for sharing that with us. Now don't you wish you hadn't? http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030103 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: She fell out of trees a lot. And wore silly hats. | P'Séaigg: Well... that at least brings us back to the Rite. Did you or didn't you?
/ Norla: I remember when you went... / Kel: I never fit in, you know... not even here. / [[Kel narrates. Child-Kel lies flat on her belly, having just fallen out of a tree. Other faerie children laugh at her.]]
/ Kel: Here, I was an overgrown, clumsy girl with funny ears and no wings.
/ Child-Kel: Ow. / Kangra: I remember that, by the time you were twelve, your mind was a tangle of fear and self-doubt!
/ Kel: ...and I couldn't see anyone else's. Not even yours or our mum's. / [[Kel narrates. Child-Kel, in an oversized hat, is knocking at the door of a local branch of the Office of Rites.]]
/ Kel: I was so eager to prove that I was a real faerie, I took to wearing the most over-the-top faerie hats I could find. And I tried to sign up for the Rite! / Kangra: Yeah... luckily you couldn't get through the door of the local Faerie Offices. Or rather, they wouldn't let you wriggle in and tramp around...
/ Kel: Heh... http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030106 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Even as a young'un, Kel had a lot to be insulted about... | [[Kel narrates. Child-Kel is asking a Gnome for directions.]]
/ Kel: Back then, there wasn't a joint Office of Rites for all species... I ran away from home and walked to a Gnome town.
/ Child-Kel: Uh... Ritekontoret?
/ Gnome: < http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030108 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030110-kelnaked">http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030110-kelnaked | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Kel recounts her first night performing the Rite of Serfdom. Blood and rats are involved. | [[Kel narrates throughout.]]
/ [[Kel, wrapped in a blanket, stands on the road to the Green Knight's motte-and-bailey castle.]]
/ Kel: I was transported to a castle in a forest infested with monsters. / [[Kel climbs over a fence.]]
/ Kel: My mission would be to do whatever chore presented itself to me. / [[Kel runs past the stables inside the castle grounds.]]
/ Kel: Looking at the old, wooden buildings, I realised that the real problem where would be where to start! / [[Kel runs toward the stables.]]
/ Kel: And I was too big to hide in any old cranny... That was a problem too. I decided to try the stables. / [[Kel stands before the chopping block, which has an axe stuck in it. Both block and axe are bloody.]]
/ Kel: Apart from the rats, there were no animals in there. But I found prof that someone at least lived here. / [[Kel polishes the axe with her blanket.]]
/ Kel: ... and I also had a good idea where to start with my work. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030113 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Flashback: Kel remembers her first few nights performing the Rite of Serfdom. Things get ugly fast. | [[Kel narrates. Kel sleeps under the drawbridge, covered by the blanket.]]
/ Kel: After cleaning the axe, I located an oil lamp. I slept the day away under the motte's drawbridge. / [[Kel narrates. Kel inspects the castle grounds with her oil lamp.]]
/ Kel: The next night, I looked for work to do. The roofs in the bailey needed thatching, but I couldn't do that. / [[In the present.]]
/ Kel: Nor could I do much about the outside fence or the state of the buildings. But the place had a kitchen, which was filthy. / [[Kel narrates. Kel lies awake under the bridge.]]
/ Kel: That was my job for the next two nights. I ate salted meat from the larder, which made me nauseous. The fifth night, I stayed under my bridge. / [[Kel narrates.]]
/ Kel: I wasn't just sick, I was going mad. Apart from the rats, I hadn't seen a living soul in the entire castle! / [[Kel narrates. Kel is holding the axe, discouraged.]]
/ Kel: But on the sixth night, I found the axe bloody again, on its block in the deserted stables! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030115 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: The mystery of the Bloody Axe keeps Kel busy until she gets hungry. | [[Kel narrates. Kel is polishing the axe.]]
/ Kel: I polished, and pondered.
/ Kel [[thought]]: This isn't how it's supposed to go. / [[Kel talks in the present.]]
/ Kel: It was all topsy-turvy! While the elf was asleep, the master of the house snuck into the empty building to create work for her. / [[Kel narrates. Kel is hiding in a stable.]]
/ Kel: I staid up during the day, hiding in the stables, staring at the block. But no one came. / [[Kel narates. Kel is in a tree, eating fruit.]]
/ Kel: By this time, I was out of food. I went out into the forest, picking fruit and setting traps. / [[The present. Kel speaks off-panel. Jodoque, Norla, Isolde and P'Séaigg listen.]]
/ Kel: When I came back, the axe was still clean, but there was a note pinned to it... / [[The past. Kel reads the note.]]
/ Note: Elf, do not leave your post again! Signed, Grene. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030117 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Kel at last gets a glimpse of her lord - the person she is bonded to for the Rite of Serfdom. | Kel: So for the next week, I did not. I let myself run out of food, abandoned my trap... / [[Kel narrates. Kel walks through the castle with a lamp.]]
/ Kel: By the thirteenth night, I was crazed with hunger... I staggered to the kitchen to eat that last piece of nauseating salted meat... / [[Kel narrates. The kitchen is filled with meats, bread, fruit, saucages, milk and broth.]]
/ Kel: I was in for a surprise! / [[Kel narrates. Kel drinks milk.]]
/ Kel: There was even a bowl of milk, as decreed by custom. Knowing my place, I took it. / [[Kel narrates. Kel shines her light over the bed of the Green Knight.]]
/ Kel: I couldn't resist checking the master bedroom... / [[Kel narrates. The face of the sleeping Green Knight is shown.]]
/ Kel: My lord turned out to be a giant of a man.. but he didn't look like an axe-murderer. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030120 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: The gods are in their darkened halls, and all is right with the world... | [[Kel narrates. Kel is looking at the Green Knight.]]
/ Kel: But even if he had, I'd still have felt relieved! The worst was over! / [[Kel narrates. Kel hides under the bridge while the Green Knight walks out at night to investigate a noise he has heard.]]
/ Kel: I staid at my post for the rest of my tour. I kept up the pretence of secrecy for a while...
/ Kel [[thought]]: *&^%#!! It's a wolf howling! Go to bed! / [[Kel narrates. Kel sleeeps under the Green Knight's bed.]]
/ Kel: But as the days grew shorter and colder, I moved my things into the castle... / [[Kel narrates. The Green Knight pulls Kel out from under his bed.]]
/ Kel: He must have noticed, but didn't let it show. But in the final month... I made a bit of a noise so he'd have to discover me... / [[The present.]]
/ Jodoque: So close to the end? What on earth for?
/ P'Séaigg: Shush! / P'Séaigg: This is acceptable under ritual law. You get to test how you hold up against rejection, ingratitude, abuse...
/ Norla: You get to fish for parting gifts! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030122 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: The Green Knight shows his true colors. Green, to be precise. | [[Kel narrates. Kel picks up a bodice.]]
/ Kel: Well, I did get a parting gift. On my final night, I found a matching skirt and bodicce on my bridge.
/ Kel [[thought]]: Hehe! How fitting! / [[Kel narrates. Kel looks at her reflection in a bronze kettle.]]
/ Kel: I put it on. It felt a bit stiff, but I put that down to not being used to that much clothing.
/ Kel [[thought]]: Hee! / [[The present.]]
/ Kel: ANd suddenly... AGONY! Everything became a blur! / [[Kel narrates. The Green Knight looms over her with a malicious grin.]]
/ Kel: I sank to the floor, and saw the lord of the house standing over me, beaming... / [[The present. Kel speaks off-panel. P'Séaigg, Norla and Kangra, listen, outraged.]]
/ Kel: The costume was - I don't know. Hexed, or lined with iron. I was trapped. The Green Knight owned me. / Kel: And that was how I was forced to serve him for another year. Eventually, I was let out of that evil dress, but by then he could control me by other means... http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030124 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: The lawyer makes an important point, and as a result, Kangra hatches a cunning plan. | [[Isolde shuffles her papers. Jodoque tries to console Kel.]]
/ < http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030127 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: The lawyer introduces another complication, a political one. | Isolde: Subpoena the Green Knight. Right. I'll have the papers drawn up. But... / [[Isolde quickly looks around her.]] / Isolde: I didn't say this, but: Don't trust the bailiffs to deliver them...
/ Jodoque: Why not? / Isolde: Well, it's a bit political... I think the Shriners and the office may be trying to make an example of Kel...
/ Jodoque: ? / Kel: Like I said, many people don't like humans. That's another thing that unites gnomes and faeries here... / Kel: Present company excepted, of course...
/ P'Séaigg: Don't be too sure. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030129 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Wythllew has not been seen in the land of the faeries since she was a small purple imp. This is a problem, strange though it may seem. | Kel: So, many of our elected leaders got in on a platform of not mollycoddling humans. And now they have an opportunity to keep their promise. / Isolde: Indeed. And in comes this half-human with a bad ritual record and a stolen relic, and she has unaccountably let a criminal renegade walk free. / Isolde: Assuming, if I may play devil's advocate here, that you didn't steal the bone yourself. The Shrine's records are somehow very vague about the theft.
/ Kel: Look... / Kel: There's no way I could have subdued Wythllew long enough to bring her here. She's much stronger than me! We can just about drive her back to her tree. / [[Isolde speaks off-panel.]]
/ Isolde: Hmmmyes... her sensitivity to smells is well documented. But she hasn't been seen here in fifty years. We can't confirm her superior strength. / Kel: Ottar! Ottar can! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030201 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Who, ho ho ho, Shelterhue, things are never quite the way they seem. Sorry, got a bit carried away there. |
Isolde: Who?
/ Kel: Ottar! He used to work for Wythllew's cronies, but he's now transfered to- / Kel: -Uh... My house. That's not good, is it? / Isolde: He may have a credibility problem, yes. But we should see him anyway.
/ P'Séaigg: "Credibility problem!" / Isolde: Pardon?
/ P'Séaigg: He could be the ghostly warrior Shelterhue and the prophet Mu Hairmidh combined and still have a credibility problem! / P'Séaigg: Girl, you were arrested by a gnome at the orders of a gnome and put into a jail run by a gnome. Your lawyer is a gnome. / P'Séaigg: Guess what species the judge and jury will be. Hm? http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030203 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Any company where Kangra is the one to keep a cool head is probably one step removed from cannibalism... | Norla: Enough, P'Séaigg! / Norla: Everyone involved is a citizen of the Gnomian Republic! If we can't be that, why even bother?
/ P'Séaigg: My point exactly. / Norla: There's just no talking to you...
/ Kangra: So, P'Séaigg... / Kangra: You'd do what you could to see them fail, right?
/ P'Séaigg: Oh, yeah...
/ Kangra: So we can count on your help? I mean...
/ P'Séaigg: Sure! / [[P'Séaigg speaks off-panel.]]
/ Kangra: It's all right for Norla to have big ideals, but we're the ones in jail...
/ P'Séaigg: Don't worry!
/ Kangra: Will you help? We need your contacts.
/ P'Séaigg: SURE! / Kangra: ...Even the ones that are gnomes.
/ P'Séaigg: Keep your hair on! I'm on it! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030205 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: We're finally getting away from the jibber-jabber and moving towards plans for the next few days! | Isolde: Here's what we'll do. I'll check at the Office and the Shrine, and sign the papers... / Isolde: Mr. P'Séaigg, can you arrange a transport to the Green Knight's domain? Say, tomorrow?
/ P'Séaigg: I can try...
/ Isolde: Then we can send Mr. Davignon there with the subpoena. / Kel: ...And we'll need another transport to Clwyd-Rhan, so Norla can contact Ottar.
/ Jodoque: Hold it! / Jodoque: What are you thinking? I should go to Clwyd-Rhan and Norla to the Green Knight! So we'll be working in places we know. / Kel: Jodoque, Norla will be more persuasive towards Ottar. And ... uh... she won't be able to get much done with the Green Knight. He's a bit peculiar. / [[Kel kisses Jodoque.]]
/ Kel: Sleep well. With luck, P'Séaigg will have everything prepared by tomorrow afternoon. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030207 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: What, did I promise action in the previous blurb? This is art! We'll get to the action when we get there. | [[Kel stands in front of the door.]]
/ Kel: < http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030210 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Back in the inn, Jodoque asks a question that he should have asked earlier. | [[Jodoque and Norla at the inn, sitting at a table, thinking.]] / [[Norla gets up from the table.]]
/ Norla: I should go... pack things... / Norla: If there's anything you need, I can-
/ Jodoque: Norla? / Jodoque: Nobody said anything about this, but I've got to know... What if Kel's found guilty? / Norla: I'm not sure you'd understand...
/ Jodoque: Try me.
/ Norla: Well, first off, she could be exiled...
/ Jodoque: ...Aaand? / Norla: And she could have the Master Rune cast over her. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030212 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | Norla: You should have asked earlier. I could have taken you out to the Grimborg. / [[Norla waves her hand. Two leaves grow out of her sleeve.]]
/ Norla: However... to give you an idea... consider a baby that can do this! / [[Jodoque hangs naked, by his ankles, from the liana that has emerged from Norla's arm.]]
/ Jodoque: Very funny. I haven't laughed this hard since the King had my slapstick filled with dried beans!
/ Norla: Hee hee! / [[Jodoque puts his clothes back on.]]
/ Norla: I always get a kick out of how hairy you people are. Anyway, the Master Rune was invented to prevent this. / Norla: It gets cast over every newborn faerie to prevent shapeshifting and other things they could hurt themselves with. / Norla: It wears off, and there are some limited counter-spells, but the magic isn't fully released until after the Rite is completed, in a short ceremony in the Grimborg. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030214 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Norla finally cuts to the chase, with some encouragement from Jodoque. SCHEDULE CHANGING TO ALL WEEKDAYS for this week and the next! |
[[Norla speaks off-panel.]]
/ Norla: ...And with the magic comes full citizenship. Voting rights, and... / Norla: There's something else... As you know, Faeries don't marry. / [[Norla speaks off-panel.]]
/ Norla: We're not like humans. I studied you... The Ancestor didn't give us rules for sleeping with one another. / Norla: But we do have laws governing who breeds. You're not to have offspring if you don't complete the Rite. / [[Jodoque grabs Norla by the wrists.]]
/ Norla: In fact, a full-blooded faerie under the Master Rune can't even-AAAAH!
/ Jodoque: Stop stalling! Out with it, woman! / Norla: They could take away your child! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030217 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: P'séaigg is debriefed by a forest person in a big red hat... | [[P'Séaigg is in the forest, speaking to an older Faerie woman, Maghreid.]]
/ P'Séaigg: And that's just about it, your ladyship. / [[P'Séaigg speaks off-panel.]]
/ P'Séaigg: I'll need to commandeer two transports to get the testimonies... I can do that... / P'Séaigg: ... But what about that lawyer's conspiracy theory? We both know who dominates both the shrine and the Office of Rites... / Maghreid: Yes. We do... / P'Séaigg: ... And that of course means that a victory in court could cost us dearly in Congress... / Maghreid: Get the transports... I will talk to the Hats... / {{Note: This conversation actually took place in a local dialect of the Gnomian language. Because the dialogue is a little more complex than that shown in earlier sequences which were ran in Gnomian, it has been translated into English for your convenience.}} http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030218 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Jodoque ponders, Norla rents a heron, and something goes bump in the night! | [[At night. Jodoque lies in bed, alone.]] / [[Kel and Kangra sleep in a hole in an artificial tree in the Dyrtforrabyggern.]] / [[Norla rents a heron from a heron stable.]] / [[Norla flies off on the heron's back.]] / [[Kel and Kangra, asleep.]] / [[Kel's dream. She's swimming again, pursued by large things with toothed shears.]] http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030219 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: In her dreams, Kel is haunted by nature red in tooth and claw. Well, the teeth are white, but you get the idea. | [[The shears enclose the swimming dream-Kel.]] / [[Dream-Kel screams in terror.]] / [[Kel awakes.]]
/ Kel: NO! / [[Kel looks around.]] / [[Kel clutches her head.]]
/ Kangra: What? / Kangra: It's those nightmares I get. If I don't shapeshift... Sea beasts devour me in my sleep. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030220 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: She's just picking up some of her things. And, as it turns out, a memory. | [[Norla has arrived at a hole in a tree in the forest. There's some furniture inside the hole.]] / [[Norla opens a chest. Off-panel, one of her housemates awakes and calls her.]]
/ 1. Faerie: Murr... Norla? / Norla: Jág tár bare ettige mínr tingr.
/ 1. Faerie: Å, Åkej... / [[Norla pulls a striped shirt out of the chest and looks at it.]] / [[Norla looks in the mirror, wearing the striped shirt, a beret and white pantaloons.]] / [[In addition to her own reflection, Norla sees P'Séaigg in the mirror.]] http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030221 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: C.M.I.I. Daobleagh tries his marketing skills on the Gnomian Grand Shrinekeeper. | [[The Keeper of the Ancestor's Shrine is on the way to his office. "Clap-Me-In-Irons" Daoibleagh is hawking his wares.]]
/ Daoibleagh: Oats! Wild oats! Get them while they're wild! / Daoibleagh: Morning, your priesthood! Can I interest you in some oats, or maybe oatmeal inna bun? / Keeper: Is that the same oatmeal you tried to sell to me last week? The stuff you could crack a skull with?
/ Daoibleagh: Uh... it's been in the rain since then... / Keeper: I'll pass, if you don't mind. Now if you'll excuse me... / [[The Keeper enters his office.]]
/ Keeper: Grm. / [[Close-up of the Keeper, who is startled by something.]]
/ Keeper:? What th- http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030224 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: This Sidhe-Maghreid is quite a handful! So is that oatmeal! | [[Maghreid flutters annoyingly in front of Ratskuchbønn, the Keeper of the Ancestor's Shrine.]]
/ Ratskuchbønn: Whaaaa!
/ Maghreid: Whee! / [[Ratskuchbønn swats at Maghreid.]]
/ Ratskuchbønn: Cut that out! Oi!
/ Maghreid: Whee! / Ratskuchbønn: Oh, it's you. What do you want? / Maghreid: Nothing! Sidhe-Maghreid wants nothing! / Ratskuchbønn: Well, if you don't want anything, why don't you-
/ Maghreid: Want some oatmeal? I got it from the oatmeal man! / Ratskuchbønn: No, thanks. And really, I think you should.
/ Maghreid: Sure? It's got lovely blue veins! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030225 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Together all Maghreid Is upstairs or done had serious some she hallucinagens a sprite as? | Ratskuchbønn: Please. I've got work to do...
/ Maghreid: Yes! Yes! Daily war against sacrilege and theft. Days just packed, yes? / Ratskuchbønn: Indeed. And this is serious, difficult work. As you should know, Maghreid. / [[Ratskuchbønn, the Keeper of the Ancestor's Shrine, speaks off-panel.]]
/ Ratskuchbønn: So why don't you tell your people that we're dealing with that half-human thief and her accomplice... / Ratskuchbønn: Precisely as we promised our voters we'd do. That we're sending a message... that no human fifth column will disrupt the Pax Gnomica. / [[Maghreid flies off.]]
/ Maghreid: Okay! Won't keep ya! No fifth column, eh? / Ratskuchbønn: Grm. Grm. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030226 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: After dealing with the nuisance that is Sidhe-Maghreid, the Priest now has to deal with... the lawyer!!! He will not be having a good day. | [[There is a knock on the door. Ratskuchbønn, the Keeper of the Ancestor's Shrine, is annoyed.]]
/ < http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030227 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Isolde can't help herself, and almost pushes the priest over the edge. | Ratskuchbønn: This is about the Mánsdottir case, isn't it?
/ Isolde: Don't worry. I'm sure we'll find that you're very dilligent about your record-keeping. / Isolde: ... And that only one record will turn out to be missing. Of course, there's no predicting what the jury will think of that. / Ratskuchbønn: Grm.
/ Isolde: It is of course possible that other records might turn out to be missing. The consequences of that eventuality would not bear thinking about. / Ratskuchbønn: Look, you smug bastard, why don't you-
/ Isolde: Hmm? / Ratskuchbønn: Grm. Hm. / Ratskuchbønn: Sorry. I didn't mean to yell. Most unprofessional of me.
/ Isolde: Don't worry about it, your holiness. I shan't keep you any longer. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030228 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Somebody thinks powdered wigs make a man look sexy. Too bad that the man in question is a gnome called Isolde. | [[Isolde walks the street of the Gnomian capital. Behind her, Daoibleagh is peddling his wares.]]
/ Isolde [[thinks]]: Damn! Something's not right!
/ Daoibleagh: Oatmeal? / [[Maghreid speaks off-panel.]]
/ Isolde: That priest took my bait like nobody's business... But I'm overlooking something!
/ Maghreid: Ooh! What a lovely wig! / [[Maghreid pops up and grows to human size.]]
/ Maghreid: Sidhe-Maghreid loves powdered wigs! They make a man look so powerful! Sex-ay!
/ Isolde: Hey! / Isolde: They are designed to convey the dignitas officiis advocatorum, milady. Please stop ruffling my dignitas.
/ Maghreid: Ooh! Stern! / Isolde; As for my alleged sexiness, let me remind you that I am a gnome, and female. Thus, my advice to you is-
/ Maghreid: Oh, I'm not fussy. I've had faeries, humans, why not a gnome? / Isolde: Sidhe-Maghreid, your ladyship, please cease and desist from your non compos mentis act. Nemo imprimatur. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20030303 |
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