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| a class="searchlink" href="http://rocr.net/index.php?p=19990117">http://rocr.net/index.php?p=19990117 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Caption: King Groy is also in love... / King Groy: Dear Princess Goldilocks! The dowry is lovely. I propose that the wedding take place next Thursday. / King Groy: Drat! I'm out of gold leaf! / Courtier: Your majesty, a racing goblin wishes to speak to you. / Racing Goblin: Sire, I was molested and robbed in an inn near the edge of Scary Monster Forest! / King Groy: When? / Racing Goblin: Ten minutes ago, your majesty. / King Groy: And those puny hundred miles from the edge to the castle took you ten minutes? / Racing Goblin: But I've got a bad concussion! / King Groy: Yes, but TEN minutes! / Racing Goblin: Au majesteit / Racing Goblin: OK, so I stopped on my way here for an ale. Big deal. Man what a day! / King Groy: One break, it says in your contract! You're fired! / Racing Goblin: It's hard to be a goblin. / Sign: Eigen haard is goud waard | |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | Narration: This story begins with the cold winter of 1,000 AD in Clwyd-Rhan... / Narration: But really, it begins with four small-time bandits going on a journey nine years earlier... they were: / Narration: Tamlin. Then 40, officially the leader of the gang, unofficially a fat-bellied drunk. / Narration: Ragnarok. Then 25, and pretty much the brains of the outfit. / Narration: Jake the Gnome, of whom the less said the better. / Narration: Atra. Then 51. A daft old woman who ate soap a lot. Also a witch. / Narration: Their quest: To find the magic belt of invincibility, owned by a big green bearded bastard in a creepy forest infested with elves. / [[The Green Knight proposes the beheading contest.]]
/ Caption: He was a bit of a traditionalist. / Caption: So, heads rolled.
/ Green Knight: Ha ha ha ha ha! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000701 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | [[The headless Green Knight chases Tamlin with his axe.]]
/ Caption: Tamlin was not so traditionally minded.
/ Green Knight: Hee hee / Caption: But they got the belt, and something else. A girl who was kept by the Green Man as a servant. / Narration: The funny thing is, that belt really sucked. It didn't fit any of them, and was stolen before they got home. But since then... / [[Tamlin taunts Barnardus in his cell.]]
/ Caption: ... They have dealt with rival gangs...
/ Barnardus: Tamlin! I'll get you for this!
/ Tamlin: Ooo... / [[Ragnarok looks in a bag taken from an alchemist.]]
/ Caption: ...Alchemists...
/ Ragnarok: More lead?
/ Alchemist: It may look that way to you. / [[Kel hugs a dragon.]]
/ Caption: ... A dragon...
/ Kel: He's really rather cute. Aren't you, snookums? Kiss http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000702 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | [[Tamlin, Ragnarok, Jake and Atra fight off an elven army.]]
/ Caption: Elves... / [[Ragnarok, Tamlin and Jake in a standoff against the Clwydian army.]]
/ Caption: ... And a userper who had the Clwydian army in his pocket. / Narration: Along the way, they made friends, gained a foothold where they could do what they wanted, a reputation, and a new member: Jodoque (now aged 24) / [[Kel sweeps a floor, thinking of singing.]]
/ Caption: At first, Kel was treated like a doormat, suitable for lowly tasks only... / [[Kel talks to her half-sisters.]]
/ Caption: ...Until she found out she had some unusual relatives! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000703 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | [[Atra pulls Kel away from a cauldron whose contents are bubbling ominously.]]
/ Caption: ...And she got some lessons from Atra... / [[Ragnarok, Jake, Tamlin, Kel and Jodoque march on Scarabus.]]
/ Caption: They've all become a lot more confident...
/ Tamlin: This forest is too small for me and Scarabus! / [[The forest in winter. A lone traveler trudges through the snow.]]
/ Caption: But they still can't drive the cold winter away. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000704 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Clwyd-Rhan's winters are harsh! | [[A man trudges through the snow in the forest.]]
/ Caption: Clwyd-Rhan's winters are harsh! Sleet and snow render the forest roads all but impenetrable.
/ Caption: Few dare travel the normally picturesque forests. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000705 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Bloodthirsty berserks who - FLATS! | [[Two shadows appear behind a snow-covered bush. The man spots them. They are armed with halberds.]]
/ Caption: For even now, behind the snow-covered shrubs lurks danger! / [[The man turns around, raising his sword. The armed shadows disappear.]]
/ Man: Hah! / [[The man looks around him, sinisterly.]] / Caption: Any dark spot could harbour a mass of heavily armed berserks, driven to bloodlust by hunger... / [[The man is hit in the face by a snowball.]]
/ < http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000706 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Miss! Thbbpp! | [[Jodoque runs into the frame, blowing a raspberry to Kel who is still off-panel.]]
/ Jodoque: Miss! Thhhbbthbbpp! / [[Kel runs into the frame, with a snowball in her mittened hand.]]
/ Kel: Oh? Oh? Eat this! / [[Kel rubs the snowball in Jodoque's face.]] / [[Jodoque and Kel roll in the snow.]]
/ Kel: Eeeek! Hahahaha! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000707 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Pickings are slim again | [[Jodoque sits on top of Kel, threatening her with a snowball.]]
/ Jodoque: D'ya give up? D'ya give up?
/ Kel: Hahaha haha! / [[Tamlin and Jake walk into the frame.]]
/ Tamlin: Do you mind? We're trying to work here.
/ Jodoque: Sorree.
/ Jake: Don't put a kink in my hump *)
/ Footnote: We'll explain this Gnomian expression some other time. / [[Tamlin shakes the still unconscious snowball victim down.]]
/ Tamlin: Hm. Pickings are slim again.
/ Jake: So's our client. / Tamlin: And nothing to eat again. This sucks!
/ Jake: Let's hope Ragna's caught something in the traps. / [[Ragnarok has caught something in her traps.]]
/ Ragnarok: ! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000708 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | Ragna: Bah! Inedible! Unless we get VERY desperate. / Ragna: Oh well...your money or...hey! / Ragna's Victim: Ragnarok! Am I glad to see you! / Ragna: Duke Henry of Dunghill Fens? What brings you here? http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000709 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: The high-born Lady Trollop! | Henry: I need to speak to your gang right away! / [[Duke Henry sits around the fire with Ragnarok, Atra, Tamlin, Jake, Jodoque and Kel.]]
/ Henry: It's about my wife, lady Guðrún.
/ Kel: The high-born lady trollop! Thbp! / Henry: As soon as our beloved King had his throne back, she left for Iceland...
/ Jake: Iceland?
/ Henry: She was born there. Somebody'd died. / Henry: But she's been gone for five months, and now the Witch Queen... / Jake: Witch Queen?
/ Henry [[thinks]]: This could take a while... http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000710 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | Henry: Guðrún is a cousin of the Queen of Wicca, and has done work for her. / Henry: Because relations between Iceland and Wicca are not so good, Guðrún has many enemies in Iceland... / Henry: I'm afraid my wife has been kidnapped. I want you to go find her... / [[Henry pulls out a bag of coins.]]
/ Henry: ...For a fee, of course. / [[Ragnarok eyes one of the coins.]] / Ragnarok: These are Icelandic coins.
/ Henry: A travel budget. You will be paid in Clwyd-shillings upon your return. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000711 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Honest work, a fee, and some time away from Clwyd-Rhan | Tamlin: Looks good to me!
/ Ragnarok: Honest work, a fee, and some time away from Clwyd-Rhan! / Ragnarok: ...But the last time we left here, another gang took over our hideout!
/ Tamlin: Hmm... / Tamlin: I suppose we should-
/ Kel: Hold it! / Kel: Jodoque and I could stay here to mind the hideout. / Ragnarok: Kel! Would you do that for us?
/ Kel: You know I'm never too proud to do a boring chore around here! / Henry: Well then... this is your mission... http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000712 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: The Duke explains | Dux Explicit: You will embark on a smuggling ship bound for Iceland tomorrow. Upon arrival, you will contact the Wiccan embassy. Your contact there will be the Baron of ... uh... Fal-the-Riddle-Fingers or something. The embassy staff will be at your disposal under his command.
/ Iceland's government, the Allthing, and its population don't like the Witch Queen much, so please try not to step on anyone's toes. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000713 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | Kel: Woo hoo! This will keep them away for at least three months!
/ Jodoque: Too bad we'll be spending all of that time cooped up in our hut... unless you hex the cold weather away!
/ Kel: Hee hee!
/ Jodoque: Heh heh.
/ Kel: ...
/ Jodoque: ...
/ Kel: Get thee behind me, cold front! Begone, foul thermal inversion pattern!
/ Jodoque: ... I summon thee, southerly breeze?
/ Kel: I summon thee, southerly breeze!
/ Jodoque: Hee hee!
/ Kel: Hee Hee! /
/ [[The weather changes]] http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000714 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | Kel: Hmmm... / Kel: Y'know... Now that the weather has improved... / Kel: ... It might be fun to show you some of the province. Would you like that? A trip around the country?
/ Jodoque: Hmm... / Kel: Quite a coincidence that we get nice weather for a trip just after the others leave... http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000716 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | Kel: Well, the local microclimate is full of surprises... / Jodoque: I just wonder how local this microclimate is... / [[Jodoque is speaking from off-panel. Kel is looking away.]]
/ Jodoque: I know Atra's teaching you the Craft. Paid attention, didn't you? / [[Kel looks away, thoughtfully.]] / [[Jodoque speaks from off-panel.]]
/ Jodoque: Kel? / Jodoque: I was just kidding, honey. I- / Kel: ... There is something you should know... http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000717 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | Jodoque: An elf? / Kel: She was a tree faerie, to be precise. But my father was human. / Kel: Don't give me that look! You weren't so skeptical about Jake the Gnome! / Jodoque: I thought that was just a nickname he got for being such a beardy little runt. / Jodoque: Elves and gnomes... This'll take some time to sink in... if it ever will... http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000718 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | [[Kel pulls her dress off over her head.]]
/ Kel: Right then, you doubting Thomas! See...
/ Jodoque: ! / [[Kel takes off a chain with a pentagram pendant.]]
/ Kel: ...If you know a witch who can do this! / [[Kel spreads her arms. Jodoque speaks from off-panel.]]
/ Kel: Look very carefully!
/ Jodoque: Hey, no problem
/ Kel: Don't even blink! / Jodoque: ! / [[Jodoque is startled as Kel transforms into a wild, tangled collection of plants and shrubs.]] http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000720 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | [[The wild plant life overwhelms and envelops Jodoque, pushing him back.]] / [[The wild plant life overwhelms and envelops Jodoque, pushing him back.]] / [[Behind Jodoque, the plants re-arrange themselves into something like a human shape.]] / [[Kel, naked and sweating, is hugging a confused Jodoque from behind.]] / [[Kel kisses Jodoque on the cheek.]]
/ < http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000721 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: ... And of course, I did have some training in the Craft. | [[Kel puts her dress back on.]]
/ Kel: ... And of course, I've had some training in the Craft. I wear the iron necklace to keep my Elvish side under control. / Kel: So... about our trip... / Kel: We can go to the pillar field. That's always a good laugh. ...Or to taste this year's Bock beer at the Plonck brewery. / Kel: There'll be a Sabbath in Mudslope in a month, and if we're going there... we could also go to Mr. Leppiainen's bath house, the best in Clwyd-Rhan... / Kel: ...Or we could read old manuscripts at Tamlin's brother's abbey... or visit the stone circle in the marches of Sunkland... http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000722 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | [[Kel and Jodoque, dressed for travel and loaded with backpacks, start on their journey.]] / [[They fade into the distance.]] / [[They fade into the distance.]] / [[They fade into the distance.]] http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000723 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | Kel: The pillar field. One of Clwyd-Rhan's greatest tourist attractions. / Kel: ... and if you've ever seen two hundred pillar saints fight, you'll understand why. / [[They look at the rows of empty, numbered pillars.]]
/ Jodoque: Uh... http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000724 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | [[Kel speaks from off-panel. A single pillar saint sits on pillar #361.]]
/ Kel: Wait, I see someone up there. Hello? / Kel: Where are all the other saints?
/ Saint: Kid, the weather was murder until just a few weeks ago. / Kel: Oh... I see. Sorry to hear that... / Saint: Yeah, it sucks. But we really had it hard, you know? Even I was thinking of quitting. / [[The pillar saint speaks from off-panel.]]
/ Saint: But I'd just earned my halo, and I thought "Fuck, I'm staying! Let's see who's the holiest in this dump!" Wimps! I'll show them! / [[The pillar saint speaks from off-panel. Jodoque and Kel bestir themselves to leave.]]
/ Saint: Come back in the summer! It'll be swarming with hermits, I guarantee!
/ Jodoque: And now?
/ Kel: How about the Plonck brewery? / [[Kel and Jodoque at the brewery, sampling beer. A brewer is giving them a touristy talk.]]
/ Brewer: ... The Plonck brewery delivers beer to all of Clwyd-Rhan, and is proud to be the main sponsor of the Mudslope Sabbath... How do you like our special Bock beer with mandrake? http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000725 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Mudslope Festival canceled due to bright sunny weather | [[Kel and Jodoque in front of the gates at the Mudslope location. Kel reads a note pinned to the gate.]]
/ Kel: "Canceled due to dry, sunny weather". ... great!
/ Jodoque: Aww, man! / Kel: Sanderon the Great lives nearby.
/ Jodoque: Who? / Kel: Sanderon was Atra's teacher once. He's one of the few male witches in Clwyd-Rhan. / [[They approach a small cottage.]]
/ Kel: Almost there... http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000726 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | Kel: Sanderon, you old poisoner!
/ Sanderon: Kel...
/ Kel: Got your Bock beer this year? / Sanderon: Where's Atra?
/ Kel: Iceland. This is Jodoque / Sanderon: Are you also training as a witch?
/ Kel: No, but give me three juggling balls and a penguin, and I'll show you some magic. / Kel: Jodoque used to be a court jester
/ Sanderon: I'll get some beer. Our sponsors did a really good job this year. Too bad the sabbath was canceled. Just a minute / [[Kel turns toward the fireplace, in front of which Jodoque is waving and smiling at an ancient woman in a rocking chair.]] http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000727 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | [[Kel looks at the old woman.]] / [[Sanderon re-enters with a tray full of mugs of ale.]]
/ Sanderon: Oh yeah, I had another visitor! Kel, Jodoque, meet Mother Turniproot, my teacher from way back when! / [[Sanderon raises his voice to talk to Turniproot. Turniproot answers in a cracked voice.]]
/ Sanderon: Some more mandrake, Mother? I SAID: SOME MORE MANDRAKE?
/ Turniproot: Whut? Hey Sanderon, make yourself at home. / [[Sanderon is shouting from off-panel.]]
/ Sanderon: NO-O! MANDRAKE!
/ Kel: Careful with that stuff. It's potent. / Sanderon: So how are your transformation spells coming along? http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000728 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Toads. Legs. Mandrake. | [[Sanderon and Kel are talking off-panel. Jodoque is munching mandrake.]]
/ Kel: ... But then she pointed out that toads have only four legs, and no tail...
/ Sanderon: Hahaha!
/ Jodoque: Whoa! / Sanderon: You should study this book... / Kel: ... Anatomick Compendium of Amphibia and Creepy Beasties! Gee, thanks! / [[Night. Kel and Jodoque in a makeshift bed in the attick.]]
/ Kel: I've heard of old Mother Turniproot. She's said to have been the most powerful witch on the continent, strong enough to rival Queen Elspeth. / [[Kel lifts the blanket on Jodoque, imagining a mandrake root looking like a man with a large erection.]]
/ Jodoque: Well, it happens to everyone, I suuppose. But eating that mandrake for years can't be good for you either. / Kel: It's doing you good, though! Hee hee!
/ Jodoque: !!! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000729 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | [[Sanderon walks towards the fireplace carrying a broom. He is surprised to see a penguin juggling balls.]]
/ Sanderon: ? / Turniproot: So what's so tricky about juggling penguins? / Sanderon: Shall I give yo a broom-ride home, Mother?
/ Turniproot: ? / Sanderon: I SAID: SHALL! I! GIVE! YOU! A! RIDE! HOME?!
/ Turniproot: ? / Turniproot: No more mandrake, thanks. I'm not getting any younger. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20000730 |
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