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| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Kra and Kel, in one universe | Atra: Girls! We don't have time for this! We should, you know, focus on our goal! / [[Kel and Krakatoa fight girlishly.]]
/ Atra: Girls? Girls? / [[Guðrún has been tied to the slab.]]
/ Jake: Comfortable?
/ Guðrún: Mft w-wwy, thfnx. / Gnomian Ritual Priest: Just remember, it's all symbolic. The blade will barely touch you. Now, focus on our goal.
/ Guðrún: Mbl. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010630 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: ...And the flamethrower goes 'woof' | [[Jodoque turns on a spigot on the milk barrel.]]
/ < http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010702 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: The name of the Great Gourme is evoked. | [[Jodoque hides behind the large heavy rock that Von Kildenbusch is already behind.]] / Gnomian Ritual Priest: Ognoe, i namnr störgörma, sámnwealas offerándr annemes...
/ Subtitle: Now, in the name of the Great Gourme, may the Sacrifice of Common Cause be accepted. / [[Behind the bushes, Jodoque's flamethrower explodes.]]
/ < http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010703 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat? | Jay: What what what what what what what
/ Carrie: Ssh! / Gnomian Ritual Priest: Slábr misvises! Tryllri Går på Fuþark-helveþir!
/ Subtitle: The slab is out of alignment! Our spell is spinning out of control! / [[The magic from the misdirected spell hits Atra, Kel and Krakatoa.]] / [[Jay, Carrie and Mags Corby fly off in bird form.]] http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010704 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Confuzzelation. And alcoholisation. | Atra: What the hell was that?
/ Kel: Those birds... / Krakatoa: Some sort of spell... we really should pay more attention to what's going on around us...
/ Kel: Something isn't quite right about them... / [[In front of the house, Tamlin takes a sip of his goat's milk.]]
/ Tamlin: < http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010705 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Endfulness. | Tamlin: Thishish da phinessht, mossht potent mead I'phe epher drungg!
/ Ragnarok: ?? / Krakatoa: Whatever it was, I'm sure we might as well call it quits.
/ Atra: Yeah. Making Tamlin drink again? What were we thinking? / Atra: I've half a mind to quit the stuff myself!
/ Krakatoa: Beer's pretty vile, come to think of it!
/ Kel: In my condition, you really don't want to drink it. / [[The infiltrator looks on his porta-henge to check the time.]]
/ Infiltrator [[thinks]]: They're taking their time... / Jodoque: Man, what a fiasco! This is getting me down!
/ Von Kildenbusch: We did get a box of Gnomian hashish out of it. That will perk you up. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010706 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Epiloguosity | [[Mags Corby speaks from inside an isolated house in the forest.]]
/ Mags: Carrie, Jay, listen up! / [[Jay and Carrie are still putting on their clothes.]]
/ Mags: I have no idea what that was about, but I know one thing... / Mags: ... Our masters expect a report, and they expect one that makes some kind of sense. Agreed?
/ Jay: Uh-huh. / Mags: So let's give them one. Remember that parchment I picked up a few weeks ago? / Mags: We'll send that to the chamberlain, with some comment about that red-headed witch and those hooded conspirators. / [[Carrie speaks off-panel.]]
/ Mags: Agreed?
/ Carrie: Agreed. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010707 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | {{Note: I've been wanting to do this ever since I read the introduction to The Replacement God Volume One, which came out in 1997 and is one of my favorite fantasy graphic novels. In the foreword, author Zander Cannon discusses bad, derivative, generic fantasy, saying "... I couldn't justify coming out with a comic using standards and measures and hippogriffs and basilisks and magic cloaks and fairy oaks and dolphins and elves and all that stuff...." (have you ticked them all off on your mental checklist? I suppose using a pine instead of an oak makes Wythhlew original). At the time, I had never read a fantasy novel with dolphins in it, but I thought, by golly, if they're such a big fantasy cliché, I'm bloody well going to have them in my comic. I had to wait a few years, but in ROCR time, that's just a blip. Next up, hippogriffs.
/ Unusually for me, I managed to do a bit of research in time for the comic - usually I do my research after the sequence I needed it for is done. Any inaccuracies that are still there are deliberate.}}
/ [[Underwater. Kel is swimming nude near the bottom of the see.]] / [[Kel takes a playful swipe at a fish. Some sort of underwater plant-animal is seen in the foreground.]] / [[Kel swims on. In the foreground, behind her, a large dolphin head appears.]] / [[Kel looks around, alarmed.]] http://rocr.net/?p=20010711 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Swimming... | {{Note: I've been wanting to do this ever since I read the introduction to The Replacement God Volume One, which came out in 1997 and is one of my favorite fantasy graphic novels. In the foreword, author Zander Cannon discusses bad, derivative, generic fantasy, saying "... I couldn't justify coming out with a comic using standards and measures and hippogriffs and basilisks and magic cloaks and fairy oaks and dolphins and elves and all that stuff...." (have you ticked them all off on your mental checklist? I suppose using a pine instead of an oak makes Wythhlew original). At the time, I had never read a fantasy novel with dolphins in it, but I thought, by golly, if they're such a big fantasy cliché, I'm bloody well going to have them in my comic. I had to wait a few years, but in ROCR time, that's just a blip. Next up, hippogriffs.
/ Unusually for me, I managed to do a bit of research in time for the comic - usually I do my research after the sequence I needed it for is done. Any inaccuracies that are still there are deliberate.}}
/ [[Kel swims underwater, nude.]] / [[Kel takes a playful swipe at a fish.]] / [[A dolphin's head shows up in the foreground. It does not look cute or like anything a New Age fanatic could love.]] / [[Kel looks behind her.]] http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010711 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | [[Continued from previous. Kel tries to get away from the dolphin. It is showing its teeth.]] / [[Kel in foreground, dolphin in background, silhouetted.]] / [[The dolphin is very close to Kel now.]] / [[The dolphin passes Kel on her right.]] / [[The dolphin is approaching a group of nude women in the background, who all look identical to Kel.]] / [[The Kel-alikes are frightened by the sight of the dolphin in the foreground.]] http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010712 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | WAAAA! / Another one? / I've never even seen one of those creatures! / They're not here. Easy now. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010713 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | Your credentials are excellent, Mr. Davignon!
/ Impressive how many notables you know. However...
/ I would like to see you demonstrate your abilities! / This is today's bulletin. Please read it from the top. / Okay.
/ Ahem...
/ Start with the boing! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010716 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | [[Jodoque reads the sample bulletin.]]
/ Jodoque: Boiinngg! Six o'clock and all is well. This is the news... The west Saxon King Ethelred... / [[The Town Crier Network manager is speaking from off-panel.]]
/ Jodoque: ... has urged Clwyd-Rhan to make haste with the appointment of a new Archbishop...
/ Manager: I can't hear you! / [[The Town Crier Network manager is speaking from off-panel.]]
/ Jodoque: The see has been empty since the previous incumbent, Cardinal Sickepit...
/ Manager: LOUDER! / [[The Town Crier Network manager is speaking from off-panel.]]
/ Jodoque: TOOK! PART! IN! A! PLOT! AGAINST!
/ Manager: Enough! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010717 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | [[The TCN manager is speaking from off-panel although his left hand is visible.]]
/ Manager: You have excellent volume. Now read these sample quotes and try to get the voices right. / Jodoque: Okay. Who shall I read first?
/ Manager: Try King Groy. / [[Jodoque makes a mad, grinning face.]]
/ Jodoque: "Rumors of plans to replace the head tax with more complicated measures are completely unfounded! I like simplicity as much as you do!" / [[The TCN manager is speaking from off-panel. Jodoque is putting on his most sweet and charming appearance.]]
/ Manager: Not bad. Duches Guðrún?
/ Jodoque: "I'm ever so frightfully sorry, but we'll have to burn down your farm and slaughter your livestock. Otherwise it wouldn't be fair to the others..." http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010718 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | TCN boss: You do know her! I thought you were just bluffing to pad your resume.
/ Jodoque: I can do the duke as well! / TCN boss: Oh, the duke never says anything worth repeating. Hmmm. Says here you were in a band of merry men. Pothelmus' gang? / Jodoque: No. Tamlin's.
/ TCN boss: You don't know pothelmus?
/ Jodoque: Not very well, no.
/ TCN boss: Leppiäinen the bath house king?
/ Jodoque: Not personally. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010719 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | TCN boss: Yeah, she's been in the news a lot lately.
/ Jodoque: What for? Tavern brawls? big orgies? Things catching on fire? Showers of fish? / TCN boss: No...nothing like that. Although some of our reporters have spontaneously combusted during interviews. We now send only women over sixty to talk to her. Woof! / TCN boss: But she invents things.
/ Jodoque [[thinks]]: "Woof?"
/ TCN boss: Made a big story with her porta-henge last week. / Jodoque: My wife's had one of those things for years...
/ Interviewer: Not one this size! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010720 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | Jodoque: Ooh, that's impressive!
/ TCN boss: ...And it's not just gadgets! That girl just can't stop thinking! / TCN boss: The treasury was very taken with one idea of hers: Very small taxes on things that you do every day, liking walking a public road. / Jodoque: Very small taxes...
/ TCN boss: Yeah! if they're small, people won't mind paying them, so they won't dodge 'em. / Jodoque: Rrright.
/ TCN boss: ...Anyway. Speaking of tiny amounts of money, you're hired at the standard wage. Do try to keep up with who's hot and who's not, and we'll expect you on the square at noon tomorrow. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010723 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Balls! Balls everywhere! | [[Kel is polishing up a crystal ball. Jodoque comes home.]]
/ Kel: And? / [[Jodoque kisses Kel.]]
/ Jodoque: I got the job. But... did you know that Kra had become a famous inventor? / Kel: Uh, well... she dropped by today, bringing a bag of money... And... / [[Kel points at a large pile of crystal balls.]]
/ Kel: ...these! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010724 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: A thousand crystal balls, to start with | Jodoque: Crystal balls?
/ Kel: Actually, they're glass balls containing a small quartz crystal. A lot cheaper than a real crystal ball. / Kel: Sanderon and Kra have gone through the normal blessing spell for crystal balls and simplified it so that a novice witch can make one of these babies work. Atra and I can bless them in our sleep. / Kel: These will still keep us busy for a while, though. We've got a thousand to start with. / Kel: Well... Nine hundred and ninety-eight. Kra and I had a bit of an argument before she left. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010725 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Microcephalic micromanagers | [[Jodoque has started work at the Town Crier Network. He is reading the news to a crowd.]]
/ Jodoque: Booiiing! Six o'Clock and all is well. The Central Office for Adding Up All Numbers says that the introduction of micro-taxes would have a microscopic effect on the micro-economic microcosm. / Jodoque: The Office also estimates that it will be six hundred years before the microscope is invented and any of the above will make any sense. The treasury has countered, calling the Office a bunch of microcephalic micro-managers... / Jodoque: Other news: For the first time in almost a decade, a dragon has been spotted in the forest around Dungill Fens. ([[thinks]] What?) http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010726 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: | [[Jodoque reads out a weather forecast.]]
/ Jodoque: ...warm and dry with the occasional naked faerie, followed by the mother of all thunderstorms in the evening. More at eight. / [[Jodoque and the journalist Julie relax after the reading.]]
/ Julie: Well done.
/ Jodoque: Thanks, Julie. Say, what was that about a dragon? / Julie: Oh, it's just some rumour. There haven't been any direct sightings. Just... evidence of dragon activity.
/ Jodoque: Evidence, huh? / Julie: Yeah. Explosions, forest fires, stinks, that sort of thing.
/ Jodoque: Glp. http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010727 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Our weather soothsayer really knows his stuff! | [[Jodoque walks on a dirt road to the forest. He looks at a low-flying swallow going past him.]] / [[Jodoque is surprised by two naked faeries. They are green.]]
/ 1. Faerie: Booh!
/ 2. Faerie: Booh! / [[Jodoque walks on. The faeries flutter away.]]
/ Jodoque: Our weather soothsayer really knows his stuff!
/ Faeries: Hee hee hee hee hee! / [[Jodoque stands in the doorframe of the homestead. Kel and Atra are performing spells on crystal balls.]]
/ Jodoque: I'm home! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010730 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: There must be a more rational - NO! | Kel: Jodoque, have you heard? There's a dragon in the forest! / [[Atra is talking into a crystal ball.]]
/ Jodoque: Well, yeah. I announced it on the town crier network today. But how did you... Oh, nevermind.
/ Atra: What? Yer on yer broom? Oh! I'll call back later then!
/ Kel: Purrr / Kel: You know what, Jodoque? I think I should go and see the dragon. / [[Jodoque tries very hard to think of something to say to that.]]
/ Kel: Jodoque? Don't worry! I've handled dragons before!
/ Jodoque [[thinks]]: "Sure, Kel. Come to my toolshed and I'll show y-" NO! "I hate to break it to you, but that 'dragon' is a mass of pipes and-" NO! "There must be a more rational-" NO! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010731 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: She ... wants ... to ... WHAT? | Jodoque: What do you want to go and see a dragon for? / Kel: To sort out these nightmares I've been having. Dragons can... do things for you. / Kel: I've already packed. I'm leaving tonight to get this over with as soon as possible. / Jodoque: But Kel, look at you! ([[thinks]] Think, fool! Think!) You can barely walk!
/ Kel: Oh, but I ain't gonna walk! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010801 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Don't mess with pregnant Kel! | Kel: I'll survey from the air and... Honestly, what are you so worried about? / Jodoque: Well, now that you ask...
/ Kel: I know exactly what I'm doing! Don't even think of stopping me. I'm going, and I'm going... / [[Kel raises her fist in the air. Behind her, a thunderstorm breaks out.]]
/ Kel: TONIGHT!
/ < http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010802 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: THIS will make the dragon as sweet as a kitten. | [[Jodoque trudges through the wet forest ground.]] / Jodoque: So... what's in the box?
/ Kel: A gift for the dragon. / Jodoque: Gold?
/ Kel: Ha! A dragon will gladly take your gold and still devour you if it is feeling peckish. / [[Kel Kisses Jodoque goodbye.]]
/ Kel: THIS will make the dragon as sweet as a kitten. < http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010803 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: By the time she comes back I'd better be able to show her a fire-breathing dragon! | [[Kel takes off on her broom. Jodoque stays behind.]]
/ Jodoque [[thinks]]: Why doesn't that reassure me at all? / Jodoque [[thinks]]: Anyway... By the time she comes back I'd better be able to show her a fire-breathing dragon! / Kel [[thinks]]: Still no sign of a dragon... And the weather isn't getting any better. / Kel [[thinks]]: Better set up camp! http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010806 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Well met, old crone! | [[Lightning.]]
/ < http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010807 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Red-and-yellow-eyed menace | [[The first bandit speaks off-panel. Kel stands motionless.]]
/ 1. Bandit: Now, if you'll just hand over that box, we probably won't... (Hold it! What's she doing?) / [[The first bandit speaks off-panel. Kel zaps loose the knot tying her luggage to her broom.]]
/ 1. Bandit: (Nevermind. She's cooperating.) Good thinking, lady, cause you're all alone, and there's- / Kel: Two. Two of you. Two toothless, crippled men. / Kel: Twice my age, I'll reckon. And you're calling me a crone? http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010808 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: No! Not the toothless gag! | 1. Bandit: O-kay... So we made a mistake. But we're not impressed with your guesswork...witch... / [[The first bandit shows his teeth.]]
/ 1. Bandit: See? You weren't even right about us being toothle- / [[The first bandit gets a broom in his face. Teeth fly.]]
/ 1. Bandit: -mps.
/ < http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010809 |
| Webcomic Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan: Geb fab hab! | [[Kel flies off while the bandit sits on his knees holding his hands to his mouth.]]
/ 1. Bandit: Grfrgh! Geb fab hab! / [[Kel swoops. The second bandit speaks off-panel.]]
/ 2. Bandit: Nevermind! We've got her box! / [[Kel dives towards the bandits who are examining Kel's box.]]
/ 2. Bandit: This had better be good. / [[Kel kicks the second bandit in the teeth.]] http://rocr.net/index.php?p=20010810 |
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