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understanding comics? no thanks, chuckles	Narrator: COMPRESSED COMICS COMICS / Narrator: today's comic: UNDERSTANDING COMICS by scott mccloud / T-Rex: Comics are words or images juxtaposed in deliberate sequence! / Narrator: THE END / Narrator: COMICS WHERE THE PUNCHLINE IS "NO THANKS, CHUCKLES" / Utahraptor: Wan to help me move in to my new apartment? / T-Rex: Let's see! Hours of unpaid labour, heavy lifting, getting to see all your laundry... / T-Rex: No thanks, Chuckles! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=121
the metamorphazoid	T-Rex: Today is a good day I think to become a famous author! / T-Rex: To that end, I will write a novel! / T-Rex: It will be about a young man who wakes up one morning to find himself transformed into a giant insect-like creature! / T-Rex: I will call my book, "The Metamorphazoid". / T-Rex: The story ends when the young man, whom I shall call "Gregory", dies, scorned by his family and loved ones! / Utahraptor: T-Rex! / Utahraptor: I'm concerned that the plot to your novel seems a little familiar. / T-Rex: Do you mean to imply that I've plagiarized it, good sir? / Utahraptor: I do! / T-Rex: Why, what cheek! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=122
the fun of sharing secrets	T-Rex: Today is a good day I think for sharing secrets! / Narrator: SECRET SHARING COMICS / T-Rex: Hey Dromiceiomimus, want to know a secret? / Dromiceiomimus: Sure! / T-Rex:Alright, but you have to promise not to tell anyone! / Dromiceiomimus: Ok! / T-Rex: Ok, my secret is that I stole the Utahraptor's couch last night! Don't tell him, alright? / Utahraptor: T-Rex, have you seen my couch? It's gone missing! / T-Rex: Oh? / Utahraptor: Yes, and there were T-Rex prints all over my shag carpet. / T-Rex: Well, ah, heh- / T-Rex: You see, the thing is... / T-Rex: um / T-Rex: Can I let you in on a secret? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=123
the slang of today's youth culture	T-Rex: I wonder if there is an essential "feminine", one that transcends histories and cultures? / T-Rex: Similarly, could I myself be the essential "masculine"? / T-Rex: Why, I believe I could! What am I besides the real, true essence of "male-ness", the invariable and fixed properties which define masculine for now and forever? / T-Rex: I sure am great! / T-Rex: Truly, I am the epitome of the male form! / Dromiceiomimus: I disagree! / Dromiceiomimus: I think it's pretty clear, T-Rex, that I am the epitome of the male form. / Dromiceiomimus: And you'd better call a plumber, because pipes are going to burst! / T-Rex: "Pipes" means "muscles", right? / T-Rex: That's slang, right? / T-Rex: Slang of today's youth culture? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=124
the rules	Narrator: T-REX IN "THE RULES" / T-Rex: Today I'm going to play by my own rules! / T-Rex: And luckily for me, these rules clearly stipulate that I can stomp on whatever I want! / T-Rex: Playing by my own rules is fun! / T-Rex: Why, I think I'll play by my own rules from now on! / Utahraptor: Stop it! / Utahraptor: T-Rex, you can't "play by your own rules" every day! That's nothing more than a catchy way to describe nihilism! / T-Rex: Nihilism? / Utahraptor: Yes! Remember? "...values are baseless and nothing can be known or communicated"? / T-Rex: Oh yeah! / T-Rex: And I was all, "my apocalyptic tenor has not been dispelled"? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=125

oktoberfest	T-Rex: I'm really looking forward to the little soiree I've got lined up for tonight... / T-Rex: Party at my house!! / Narrator: LATER... / T-Rex: Hey, are you still in for tonight? / Dromiceiomimus: I'm sorry T-Rex, but something came up. But say "hi" to everyone for me! / T-Rex: Oh, that's too bad. Well, some other time! / Utahraptor: I'm totally pumped for the party tonight, T-Rex! / T-Rex: Great! / T-Rex: The only downside is that the Dromiceiomimus won't be able to come. / Utahraptor: But she was the only woman you invited, wasn't shee? / T-Rex: SHIT! She was! / T-Rex: Why do all my parties always turn into one big Oktoberfest? / Utahraptor: "Oktoberfest"? / T-Rex: Beer and sausages! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=126
your mom's a librarian?	T-Rex: I am tired of things not getting done my way. / T-Rex: Therefore, I am going into politics! / T-Rex: As a politician, I will have power and influence! Things will get done, and they will get done my way! Finally, I will be the person making all the important decisions! / Utahraptor: T-Rex, we live in a democracy of dinosaurs! You'll have to get elected if you wish to have power! / T-Rex: I see! / T-Rex: Will you vote for me? / Utahraptor: Well, um, what's your platform? What issues are you concerned about? / Utahraptor: My mom works at the library, and there have been cutbacks lately, so that's a concern for us. / T-Rex: Your mom's a librarian?! / T-Rex: That's AWESOME! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=127
t-rex in: the search for god	Narrator: T-REX IN "THE SEARCH FOR GOD" / T-Rex: Today is a good day I think to find God! / T-Rex: Are you in this house, God? I am looking for you! Come out come out whereever you are! Ready or not, here I come! / Utahraptor: When people say they are looking for God, they do not mean it literally! / T-Rex: How do you mean? / Utahraptor: What that means is that they are on a spiritual search, trying to find God-the-idea, not God-the-person-hiding-behind-the-couch. / T-Rex: Oh, I see what you're saying. I guess that makes sense. / Narrator: BACK AT HOME... / T-Rex: I can't believe you were hiding behind the couch the entire time! / God: I WAS GOING TO SURPRISE YOU http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=128
comics from the future	Narrator: COMICS FROM THE FUTURE / T-Rex: Who can forget the events of July 30, 2215? / Dromiceiomimus: Their significance cannot be overstated. / Narrator: THE END / Narrator: COMICS FROM THE FUTURE / Narrator: a reprise / Utahraptor: Who can forget the events of July 30, 2215? / T-Rex: Their significance cannot be overstated. / Narrator: THE END http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=129
platitudes	T-Rex: Believe in yourself, and you can do anything! / Narrator: PLATITUDE COMICS / T-Rex: I also enjoy: / T-Rex: "Wow, that's very good for a first try!" / T-Rex: and / T-Rex: "Just do what you think is best!" / T-Rex: I also like "I do love you... as a friend!" / Utahraptor: That's not a platitude! / T-Rex: What? / Utahraptor: It's not a platitude! / T-Rex: OK then! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=130

a mystery comic	Narrator: A MYSTERY COMIC / T-Rex: ...ninety-eight, ninety nine, one hundred! / T-Rex: Ready or not, here I come! / T-Rex: Where are you, Utahraptor? Are you hiding under this house? Come out, come out, wherever you are! / T-Rex: No? / T-Rex: Where could you have gone? / T-Rex: Are you hiding beneath this woman? No? / Utahraptor: I found you, T-Rex! / T-Rex: No, I'm looking for you! / Utahraptor: But I though - / Utahraptor: Man, how do you screw up "Hide and Go Seek"? / T-Rex: It's a mystery! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=131
why am i here?	T-Rex: Why am I here? / T-Rex: Good question! / T-Rex: Am I here to fulfill some higher purpose? How can that be, if I remain completely unaware of it? / T-Rex: It appears that there is some aspect of myself that craves a meaning - any meaning - to my actions. / Utahraptor: If you feel so aimless, why not create you own meaning and invest your actions with it? / T-Rex: Good idea! / T-Rex: So what meaning do you see my action representing? / Utahraptor: The futility of life? / T-Rex: Aw man! / T-Rex: Now I feel worse than ever! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=132
a sudden change in genre	Narrator: COMICS WITH A SUDDEN CHANGE IN GENRE / T-Rex: Today is a good day I think for lavishing praise on people! / T-Rex: Is this perhaps the ultimate secret to popularity? / Narrator: SHORTLY: / T-Rex: Hello little Dromiceiomimus! You are certainly a nice colour this morning! / Dromiceiomimus: Oh! Well, thank you! / T-Rex: Think nothing of it, my good lady! / T-Rex: You will stomp nicely, young woman! Good show! / Utahraptor: Hey, I heard you were giving out compliments? / T-Rex: I am! And you, Utahraptor, are quite affable at times! / Utahraptor: "Quite affable at times"? That's it? / Utahraptor: That's my compliment? / Utahraptor: That's pretty weak! / Narrator: SUDDENLY! / T-Rex: There's no time for that now! / T-Rex: We've got a President to save! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=133
i'd be wasting my money!	T-Rex: I'm worried that I'm putting on weight. / T-Rex: I'm worried that I'll grow to be a fat dinosaur! / T-Rex: It's not that I'm suddenly eating more, I think, it's that my metabolism is slowing down - so the food I eat is going straight to my trendy hips! / T-Rex: That's why I'm vowing to get out and get exercise every day from now on! / Utahraptor: What, by stomping on people? / T-Rex: It's good exercise! / Utahraptor: Yeah, but maybe if you went to less all-you-can-eat restaurants you wouldn't need to exercise so much! / T-Rex: But then they'd be less of a deal! / T-Rex: I'd be wasting my money! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=134
alright, i was talking about my virginity	T-Rex: I fear that I've lost something... something important! / T-Rex: Something I'll never get back again! / T-Rex: Something that was very special! Something that I guess part of me thought I'd always have with me! Something that I'd tried to hold on to, but lost nonetheless! / T-Rex: Something- / Utahraptor: Knock it off! It's obvious to everyone you're talking about you VIRGINITY. / T-Rex: What? I was talking about a baby tooth. / T-Rex: Alright, I was talking about my virginity! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=135

no sleep for me, thanks, i'm full	T-Rex: What is the point of going to sleep? I'm just going to wake up again! / T-Rex: Wait! I'm a genius! / T-Rex: With my nights freed up from the chore of sleep, I will become unstoppable! I'll have an extra eight hours to plan and scheme! / T-Rex: I will stop sleeping right away! Tonight! / T-Rex: Who knows what the future holds for me? / Narrator: TWENTY YEARS LATER... / Utahraptor: Want to come over for a slumber party? / Utahraptor: Oh, sorry, I forgot how you never sleep. / T-Rex: What the hell, man? / T-Rex: It's been like twenty years! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=136
it's pretty biological	T-Rex: Where do babies come from? / T-Rex: An excellent course of inquiry! / T-Rex: Solving this mystery will put to rest many of the niggling mysteries of my creation! I will finally have an "origin story"! / Utahraptor: You want to know where babies come from? / T-Rex: I do! / Utahraptor: Are you sure? It's pretty...biological. / T-Rex: Please! Fill me in! / Narrator: SHORTLY... / T-Rex: MOM did that? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=137
finite space in my brain	T-Rex: I was thinking about my grade-school days last night, and I realized I couldn't remember most of the people who were in my classes! / T-Rex: I've forgotten pretty much everyone who didn't go on to the same school as I did! / T-Rex: This has raised some pretty profound questions for me. First off, it seems evident that I have finite space in my brain, and things are getting erased. / T-Rex: The problem is, I don't have any control - conscious at least - over what gets deleted and what stays. / Utahraptor: And you're concerned because you don't know who you are if you can't even trust your memories, right? / T-Rex: Right. I'd say a good part of who a person is comes from their experiences - but if they are forgotten, where does that leave the person? / Utahraptor: I suppose this comes down to whether or not you believe there is some essential part of you, something more than the sum of your experiences. / T-Rex: There's only one way to find out! It seems that, once again, I will have to contract... / T-Rex: AMNESIA! / Narrator: TO BE CONTINUED... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=138
sudden disturbing realizations	T-rex: If I want to know for sure who I am, I have to find out if I'm the same person when I don't have all my memories. I need to contract amnesia! / T-rex: Time for a severe non-penetrative blow to the head! / T-rex: But I'll have to be careful about this. I want TEMPORARY amnesia; I don't want to end up not remembering anything ever again! / T-rex: Hmmm. / T-rex: Maybe soliciting a concussive blow to the head isn't the best idea I've ever had. / T-rex: I COULD get temporary amnesia from a sudden, disturbing realization, but- / Utahraptor: T-rex! God must either be dead or uncaring! / Utahraptor: Sorry, was that to eager? / Utahraptor: Running up behind you like that? / Utahraptor: Too eager? / Utahraptor: T-rex? / T-rex: W-who am I? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=139
not an astronaut	Narrator: AMNESIA: / T-Rex: I can't remember a thing about myself! / T-Rex: Therefore, I will use deduction to determine my role and place in society. / T-Rex: Judging by this well-conditioned body - including thighs - and coupled with what I feel intuitively to be an impressive intellect, I can be one thing and one thing alone! / T-Rex: An astronaut. / Utahraptor: You're not an astronaut. / T-Rex: I'm not? / Utahraptor: No! / Utahraptor: You are a Tyrannosaurus Rex. / T-Rex: Seriously? / Utahraptor: Yep. / Utahraptor: Seriously. / T-Rex: Kick ass! / T-Rex: That's good too! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=140

appreciating beauty	T-Rex: I think I'll go for a walk today! / T-Rex: Uncanny! It's as if I'm seeing the world for the first time! / T-Rex: This amnesia has given me the wide-eyed innocence of a new-born child! / T-Rex: I'm filled with wonder and awe at the most casual display of nature's beauty! / T-Rex: Look at that house! Incredible! / T-Rex: Everything is precious! The glory of the world astounds me! / Utahraptor: Then why are you stomping things? / T-Rex: I don't know. . . it just feels right. / Utahraptor: But can someone who's destroying beauty truly appreciate it? / T-Rex: Arguably, yes! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=141
that's funny	T-rex: Shoot! I forgot to have a shower this morning! / T-rex: That's funny, because I smell fine! / Dromiceiomimus: That's funny, because you never seem showered whenever I see you. / T-rex: That's funny, because I don't seem to remember soliciting comments! / Utahraptor: That's funny, because you always voice every single thought in your head! / T-rex: That's funny, because at least I have thoughts! / Utahraptor: Well that's funny, because no you don't! / Narrator: MEANWHILE, IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE... / T-rex: Sure! I'd love to come to your dinner party! / T-rex: Why yes, I am freshly showered! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=142
several advantages to amnesia	T-rex: I have discovered several advantages to having amnesia! / T-rex: For instance: being able to forget things and having nobody blame you! / Narrator: SHORTLY: / Dromiceiomimus: T-rex, did you remember my birthday today? / T-rex: Sorry, I forgot! / Dromiceiomimus: Oh well! You have amnesia, so I guess that's OK. / Utahraptor: T-rex, did you remember to do your taxes this year? / T-rex: Nope! Amnesia! / Utahraptor: That's funny, because taxes were due months ago, long before you contracted amnesia. / T-rex: That's OK; I never do them anyway! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=143
jokes explained	Narrator: A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR explained / T-Rex: many jokes begin with this line. It is called the "set-up", and is analogous to establishing-shots in films or first paragraphs in essays. / T-Rex: It alerts the audience that what follows is likely to be a short story with a humorous climax! / T-Rex: What is the attraction to this structure of humor? Why are there so many jokes about men walking into bars? / T-Rex: Part of the attraction to this structure may be its possibilities: most anything can happen in a bar, especially if this bar is contained within the wild and wooly world of the verbal jest. / Utahraptor: What about the joke, "A man walks into a bar...ouch!"? / T-Rex: Good question! / T-Rex: The joke assumes some sophistication on the part of the audience, an expectation gleamed from previous jokes that the bar is a drinking establishment. / Utahraptor: Go on! / T-Rex: The "ouch" is startling. How could entering a bar hurt? It forces us to now re-evaluate our most basic assumptions. / T-Rex: We must ask ourselves, "What if the bar were a bar proper, and by walking into it the man actually, physically walked into it?" / T-Rex: It is this confusion on the part of the listener that is responsible for the humor! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=144
a special talent	T-Rex: I feel odd.. as if my amnesia is wearing off! / T-Rex: Uncanny! All my memories are flooding back in a torrent of life and history! / T-Rex: I remember this tiny house and car! I liked to stomp on them regularly! Like so! / T-Rex: And I remember you, Dromiceiomimus! / T-Rex: Do I ever! / T-Rex: And I remember this tiny woman! I remember I liked to stomp on her! / Utahraptor: You do it every day! / Utahraptor: {{bolded}}Personally, I wish you'd stop. / T-Rex: Holy! How'd you do that thing with your voice just now?! / T-Rex: Seriously, it makes me feel like doing whatever you say! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=145

I forgot about my dentist's appointment!	T-Rex: Today is a good day I think for going for - oh shoot! / T-Rex: I forgot about my dentist's appointment! / T-Rex: Damn damn damn. I can't call now and reschedule because I'll have to admit that I forgot entirely. / T-Rex: Then I'll probably have to explain that I had amnesia and the dentist will think I'm crazy. / Utahraptor: You seem to have a lot of respect for dentists! / T-Rex: I do indeed! / Utahraptor: But DID YOU KNOW that dentists only clean your teeth and hang out with you because you pay them to? / Utahraptor: He's not really your friend, T-Rex! / T-Rex: But. . . Dr. Cohen! / T-Rex: He always seemed so enthusiastic! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=146
different ways to say "no"	Narrator: T-REX IN: DIFFERENT WAYS TO SAY "NO" / T-Rex: I have compiled a list of different ways to say "no"! / T-Rex: One way is to shake, or nod, your head, depending on which culture you're in. / T-Rex: Another good way is to suck in air through your teeth. This indicates a severe problem with whatever is being proposed! / T-Rex: Violence can also be an effective way of saying "no"! / T-Rex: For instance, I find stomping to be unambiguous. / Utahraptor: Listing ways of saying "no"? / T-Rex: You "know" it! / Utahraptor: Ho ho! / Utahraptor: Was this entire conversation an excuse for that crappy pun? / T-Rex, thinking: How did he "know"? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=147
the aesthetics and beliefs of romanticism	T-Rex: I have taken the aesthetics and beliefs of the romanticism movement and adopted them for my own! / T-Rex: I now emphasize my own subjective experience as visionary and transcendental! / T-Rex: I no longer value piety or virtue, or constancy (or consistency), or even the search for scientific truth! I only value my own capacity for experience! / T-Rex: As a consequence, my own actions can no longer be judged by any public idea of right or wrong! As experience is amoral, even my own conscience cannot judge my actions, and I am free from reproach and judgment! / Utahraptor: But T-Rex, this is nothing more than deifying the ego, defiant of conventional morality! / Utahraptor: You've chosen for yourself a philosophy that justifies everything you do as good, simply because you did it! Now tell me, how is that a useful moral and ethical system? / T-Rex: Well, um, / Utahraptor: "Well, um" exactly! / T-Rex: I thought maybe we'd have a good time discussing it? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=148
over-specific stereotypes	Narrator: There's a boxing kangaroo at the circus. / T-Rex: There's a boxing kangaroo at the circus? / T-Rex: There's a boxing kangaroo at the circus! / T-Rex: It's so great Dromiceiomimus! It's a real boxing kangaroo with big red boxing gloves, like the zeitgeist, AND in cartoons! And he boxes a person so hard that they get their hat knocked off and when they go to pick up the hat, he boxes them in the butt!! WE HAVE TO GO. / Dromiceiomimus: Okay! / Utahraptor: Did I just hear you say / T-Rex and Utahraptor: "boxing kangaroo"?! / T-Rex: You sure did! Dromiceiomimus and I are going! You should come because the kangaroo is going to solve all his problems with his fists, and when he's done, his problems are gonna be solved RIGHT IN THE FACE. / Utahraptor: Heck, I'm not busy. Let's go right now! / T-Rex: Hah hah! What's the matter monocle guy? You don't like being boxed by a kangaroo?? / Monocle guy: I'm not allowed to punch back because that would be animal cruelty! / T-Rex: Hah! Monocle guy! The kangaroo just punched off your monocle!! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=149
over-specific stereotypes	Narrator: There's a boxing kangaroo at the circus. / T-Rex: There's a boxing kangaroo at the circus? / T-Rex: There's a boxing kangaroo at the circus! / T-Rex: It's so great Dromiceiomimus! It's a real boxing kangaroo with big red boxing gloves, like the zeitgeist, AND in cartoons! And he boxes a person so hard that they get their hat knocked off and when they go to pick up the hat, he boxes them in the butt!! WE HAVE TO GO. / Dromiceiomimus: Okay! / Utahraptor: Did I just hear you say / T-Rex and Utahraptor: "boxing kangaroo"?! / T-Rex: You sure did! Dromiceiomimus and I are going! You should come because the kangaroo is going to solve all his problems with his fists, and when he's done, his problems are gonna be solved RIGHT IN THE FACE. / Utahraptor: Heck, I'm not busy. Let's go right now! / T-Rex: Hah hah! What's the matter monocle guy? You don't like being boxed by a kangaroo?? / Monocle guy: I'm not allowed to punch back because that would be animal cruelty! / T-Rex: Hah! Monocle guy! The kangaroo just punched off your monocle!! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=149
singing together for fun and profit	T-Rex: Dear, when you smile at me, / T-Rex: I heard a melody! / T-Rex: It haunted me from the start! / T-Rex: Something inside of me. . . / Utahraptor: . . . started a symphony! / T-Rex and Utahraptor: "Zing!" went the strings of my heart! / T-Rex: That was awesome! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=150

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