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a letter to grandmother T-Rex: Alright, alright. Things I Need To Do Today: / T-Rex: Get dog food for my very angry dog! / T-Rex: Buy some food for me while I'm at it. Write a letter to my Grandmother whom I love dearly. Laundry! / Utahraptor: Sounds like you've got a lot of chores to take care of today! / T-Rex: I do! / T-Rex: Oh, but the Grandmother letter isn't a chore. I like writing letters, and especially letters to my Grandmother! / Utahraptor: You're a good grandson! / T-Rex: I know it! / Narrator: BUT T-REX FORGETS TO WRITE FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS: / T-Rex: I AM THE WORST GRANDSON EVER.
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=515
logical fallacy comics: the straw man Narrator: LOGICAL FALLACY COMICS: today's fallacy: "THE STRAW MAN" / T-Rex: The "Straw Man" fallacy isn't so much a fallacy as it is a way of life! / T-Rex: In this fallacy, you present an altered version of your opponent's argument in order to make it appear absurd! You then tear apart this weaker, ridiculous argument and claim victory. Basically it can be summarized as "make stuff up and attribute it to your opponent"! Haha! EXCELLENT. / Utahraptor: What? It's not excellent, T-Rex! It's bad argument technique! / T-Rex: Maybe! / T-Rex: BUT, it's also a great way to win debates. And if anyone calls you on it, you just say "Come on. Your attack on me is the real straw man fallacy here; let's be serious." / Utahraptor: But that's wrong! Oh man, remind me never to debate you on the internet EVER. / T-Rex: Hah! Hey how did you know I use the internet?
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the world revolves around me / probably Narrator: MONDAY: / T-Rex: The world revolves around me The world revolves around me / T-Rex: (Probably) / Narrator: TUESDAY: / T-Rex: ...around me! / T-Rex: (Pro / T-Rex: Bab / T-Rex: Ly)! / Narrator: WEDNESDAY: / T-Rex: Ohh, the world revolves around me! / T-Rex: Yes, the world revolves around me! / Dromiceiomimus: (Are you certain?) / T-Rex: (Probably!) / Narrator: THURSDAY: / T-Rex: Yes, the woooorld, she revolves around me! (Probably!) / Utahraptor: ENOUGH! / Utahraptor: Holy cow, T-Rex! I didn't mind you singing your song the first time I heard it, but it's been four days! Four days! TIME FOR A NEW SONG! / T-Rex: Sheesh, okay! It was just an amusing little ditty. I wrote it myself, you know! / God: BY THE WAY THAT IS A PRETTY CATCHY TUNE T-REX / T-Rex: Thanks, God! / God: I'M GONNA STEAL IT OKAY
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=517
give me a break Narrator: COMPRESSED THESIS COMICS: today's thesis: "Computational Measures of the Acceptability of Light Verb Constructions" / T-Rex: Light verb constructions (LVCs) are constructions like "take a stroll" and "give a smile"! / T-Rex: They are formed by combining a light verb (such as "take" and "give") with a complement ("stroll", "smile"). Most of the meaning of a (non-idiomatic) LVC comes from the complement ("stroll" and "smile"). / Dromiceiomimus: Amazing! / T-Rex: I know! / Utahraptor: But aren't some LVCs more acceptable than others? / T-Rex: Yes, this is true! / Utahraptor: It would be really nice to be able to measure that computationally. / T-Rex: Sure would! Hmm, I wonder if statistical measures of association would correlate well with human judgement of construction acceptability? / Narrator: TWO YEARS LATER: / T-Rex: Hot crackers! They DO! I should totally write this stuff down!
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i dunno, they look about the same to me T-Rex: Bad news, everyone! / T-Rex: I'm not as skinny as I used to be! / Dromicieomimus: Oh, whatever, T-Rex! You're as trim as always. meanwhile, I must have put on at least 20 pounds since January! / T-Rex: Whatever, Dromiceiomimus! You're fine. But look at MY thigh: it's somewhat larger than before / Utahraptor: You both are crazy, and you both look fine! / Utahraptor: I'M the one who's putting on weight. I'm getting old and chubby! / T-Rex: Whatever, man! I'm getting OLDER and CHUBBIER. / God: YOU GUYS ARE ALL MAKING A BALUE JUDGEMENT ABOUT BODY TYPES / T-Rex: Oh, are we gonna talk about cultural relativism? Cause I can talk about cultural relativism! / God: DUDE / God: I KNOW
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t-rex is a motivational speaker! T-Rex: People are always like, "Boo hoo hoo! I'm not motivated!" Well, not anymore! Not since I, T-Rex, have decided to become... / T-Rex: ... a motivational speaker! / T-Rex: It'll be fantastic, Dromiceiomimus! I will motivate through a combination of folk wisdom and "uncommon sense" advice couched in clever stock market analogies! / Dromiceiomimus: Sounds great? / T-Rex: Sounds MOTIVATIONAL! / Utahraptor: I don't think the world needs what you are offering, T-Rex! / T-Rex: Think positive, friend! / Utahraptor: No, really! I don't know anyone who's ever been motivated by an insincere catch phrase. I think you need to get back to basics, if you're serious about this! / T-Rex: Basics, eh? Hmm... / Narrator: LATER: / T-Rex: Excuse me! Unmotivated people? I'm T-Rex, your motivational speaker! / T-Rex: So! Has anyone here ever tried setting goals, and then achieving those goals?
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the problem of specialization T-Rex: So, throughout time, people have spent their youth learning, and the time after that applying what they've learned. Not a bad system! / T-Rex: ... For a first try! / T-Rex: The problem is that we're spending longer and longer studyin. If you do a PhD, you could be 30 years old when you graduate! And since there's so much to know about the world, people are forced to specialize. Even at 30, there just isn't enough time to learn it all! / Utahraptor: It's a necessary tradeoff! Millions of people specialize and make tiny contributions to knowledge. / T-Rex: It's true! / T-Rex: But what if it didn't have to be that way? If we lived forever, we could learn so much! We could make connections between completely unrelated fields. / Utahraptor: This is true, but the older generation would always remain! If they became stuck in their ways, they might inhibit progress instead of helping. / Narrator: MEANWHILE, IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE NOBODY EVER DIES: / T-Rex: Sure, borrow my four-seater rocket car whenever you want! / Person: Thanks man! / T-Rex: Hah hah! I'm totally glad I invented it.
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=521
guilt over tasty things T-Rex: So I went for a walk last night before bed, simply because I wasn't tired yet and had nothing to do. / T-Rex: True story! / T-Rex: After walking for a bit, I found myself in a 24-hour grocery store! Why? I didn't need any groceries. I guess I just found the bright lights and the prospect of buying snacks enticing! / Dromiceiomimus: Did you get anything? / T-Rex: Yes, just some chips and a drink. I didn't need either of them! / Utahraptor: So are you concerned, T-Rex, that going shopping was your default activity? / T-Rex: Yeah man! / T-Rex: And shopping for food that I didn't even need, no less. I suspect that the symbolism of this at both a personal and societal level is pretty damning! / Utahraptor: "Western man gets bored, goes and buys food he doesn't need." / T-Rex: Exactly! / Narrator: BUT A FEW EVENINGS LATER T-REX DOES THE EXACT SAME THING! / T-Rex: Man, whatever! These chips are overwhelmingly delicious!
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the devil raises an interesting question Devil: GREETINGS T-REX / Devil: I HAVE AN INQUIRY TO POSE TO YOU / Devil: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ADVENTURE GAMES AS A GENRE / T-Rex: Man! I don't!! / Devil: IT IS INTERESTING TO PONDER WHY THEIR POPULARITY HAS FALTERED WHILE THAT OF THEIR SISTER GENRE OF RPGS HAS REMAINED REMARKABLY RESOLUTE / T-Rex: I don't think about video games as much as you do! Okay? You've got to understand this! T-REX EQUALS DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT VIDEO GAMES ALL THAT OFTEN! / T-Rex: ... / Utahraptor: You seem unusually quiet! / T-Rex: I think I got rid of him! / Utahraptor: Who? / T-Rex: The Devil! I told him off pretty harshly and I guess I hurt his feelings? Does that make me a bad person? / Devil: I ASSURE YOU THAT I HAVE NOT GONE ANYWHERE MY MOUTH WAS MERELY OCCUPIED WITH DORITO-RELATED ACTIVITIES / T-Rex: Great! Let's talk about that instead! / Devil: I LIKE RANCH FLAVOUR
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block slumber party T-Rex: My sinister raccoon and cephalopod neighbours are having a sleep-over party. Okay! That's innocent enough. I don't judge! / T-Rex: But putting up fliers for it around town? / T-Rex: That's creepy! That's odd! That's OFF. Who indiscriminately invites people to a slumber party? / Dromiceiomimus: Your neighbors, apparently! / T-Rex: Apparently! / Utahraptor: So are you going to go? You are their neighbour, after all! / T-Rex: No way, man! / T-Rex: I've TOLD you all the creepy things they've said to me! I don't want to put myself in a situation where I'm UNCONSCIOUS and pyjama-clad around them! Holy heck! / Utahraptor: I think maybe you should go! How bad could it be? They're your NEIGHBOURS. / Narrator: THAT NIGHT: / Neighbour: COME TO OUR SLUMBER PARTY, NEIGHBOUR? / T-Rex: I'm sorry, I - I think I'm busy that night! / Neighbour: YOU CAN SLEEP IN MY ROOM, T-REX. / Neighbour: I JUST WANT TO TASTE YOU
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i disagree with you now! T-Rex: I have discovered the secret of being totally famous! I will now share this secret. / T-Rex: The secret is to be CONTROVERSIAL! / T-Rex: That way, everyone is talking and thinking about you.You become famous simpy from holding a contested opinion! And the best part is yuo don't actually HAVE to hold the opinion, you just have to say you do. It's so easy! Dromiceiomimus, what are your thoughts on gay marriage and prohibition? / Dromiceiomimus: Prohibition? Why prohi- / T=Rex: I DISAGREE!! / Utahraptor: Wow, people are going to think you're an ass! / T-Rex: A CONTROVERSIAL ass, though! Of fame! / Utahraptor: No, not really! It's annoying, insincere, and unattractive! Nobody likes someone who is controversial just for the attention. / T-Rex: Maybe they do! / Narrator: TURNS OUT THEY DON'T: / T-Rex: Well, that's it for me!
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=525
talking dinosaurs on the internet in: young marriage T-rex: Isn't it CRAZY how young some people are when they get married? / T-rex: It's CRAZY! / T-rex: My parents were only twenty when they got married. Twenty! I was nowhere near marriage material at twenty. I was and still am a loose cannon! / Dromiceiomimus: Maybe they just found the right person? / T-rex: Twenty, though! You're almost still a teenager at that age! A baby! How do you know enough to get married? / Utahraptor: I think that marriage is a very personal thing, T-rex! / T-rex: Well, yeah! / Utahraptor: No, really! It's an expression of love, which is almost by definition inexpressible to someone else. Marrying young probably just seems crazy to you because you didn't meet the right person at that age! / T-rex: So it's essentially unknowable to me unless I had married at that age myself...Hmm... / Narrator: ANYWAY, T-REX GOES BACK IN TIME TO WHEN HE WAS 20, FINDS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE, AND MARRIES HER: / T-rex: Kick ass! / T-rex: So THAT'S what that feels like!
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=526
post-pubescent! T-Rex: So I was talking up my post-pubescent body the other night, and this guy was like "Post-pubescent isn't a word, because you can never get past puberty!" I was like, "Whatever"! / T-Rex: It was some party!! / Dromiceiomimus: That guy was right though, T-Rex! Puberty is more of a toggle, isn't it? You're either pre-pubescent or pubescent - you never get to be post-pubescent. / T-Rex: I maintain that you do! You're pre-pubescent, then pubescent, and then post-pubescent when the changes stop! / Utahraptor: No no, you're pubescent as soon as the changes start! That's how it works. / T-Rex: I disagree! / Utahraptor: Let's look it up in a dictionary! Then we'll see what's what. / T-Rex: Fine! Let's look it up right now! / Utahraptor: Fine! / T-Rex: Fine! I'll go do that! / Utahraptor: Go ahead! / T-Rex: I'm gonna! / Narrator: SHORTLY: / T-Rex: Dude, come quick! / T-Rex: There's PICTURES!!
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=527
i sure hope i'm not the only one who finds film theory really cool! T-Rex: It turns out that you can't escape politics in the media! Every song I hear, every book I read and every movie I see has some political agenda, even if it's just tacit support fo the dominant ideology! / T-Rex: Well! I'M going to create the first POLITICS-FREE film! / Dromiceiomimus: What are you planning - a documentary? / T-Rex: That's a start! It'll document the world around me to ensure that my own beliefs can't enter the frame. / T-Rex: Oooh! And it'll be in one long take, so that I can't be accused of using editing to privilege some images over others! It's going to be great! Great and APOLITICAL. / Utahraptor: It's not going to work, my friend! / T-Rex: It'll work! Don't be such a downer! / Utahraptor: T-Rex, as soon as you place the camera somewhere, you're making a value judgment about what's worth seeing and what's not. You're privileging what's in front of the camera over what's behind it: that's political! / T-Rex: Hmm. That - that's true. / Narrator: ATTEMPTS TO RECORD THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE FROM ALL POSSIBLE ANGLES AT ONCE FAIL: / T-rex: Man, forget this! / T-rex: My politics are the right ones ANYWAYS.
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=528
t-rex might have to get glasses! ruh roh Narrator: WE JOIN T-REX AFTER THE EYE DOCTOR HAS TOLD HIM HE MIGHT NEED GLASSES: / T-Rex: The eye doctor had told me I might need glasses! / T-Rex: Me! Glasses! / T-Rex: Man, glasses are gonna cramp my style. I'm not a glasses dude! I'm a NON-GLASSES dude! / Dromiceiomimus: I don't know - maybe they'll look fetching on you! / T-Rex: Perhaps! But still, my style will be totally CRAMPED. / Utharaptor: What style do you have that can be "cramped", T-Rex? / T-Rex: Plenty! / T-Rex: Sleeping face down style! Rubbing my eyelids with the palms of my hand style! Glasses would interfere with BOTH these activities. / Utahraptor: I've never seen you do either of those things. Besides, if the biggest worry you have in life is glasses, then I think you're doing pretty well! / Narrator: T-REX IS SUDDENLY REMINDED OF SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT TO WORRY ABOUT: / T-Rex: Shit! / T-Rex: Global warming!!
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second base is first loser T-Rex: What is the deal with second base? Nobody actually knows what it represents! / T-Rex: (Second base in the sexually euphemistic sense, of course!) / Dromiceiomimus: Everyone knows what second base is, T-Rex! First base is significant glances across a crowded room, second is quietly holding hands, third base is eating the same strand of spaghetti and a home run is totally smooching! / T-Rex: I find these bases to be highly improbably, Dromiceiomimus! / Utahraptor: I think that people know what the bases are - but if they don't, that's cool too! / T-Rex: Why? / Utahraptor: I don't know! I think it's because it makes the whole crass "how far did you go" talk a lot more adorable if the guys invovled are just making up what the checkpoints are as they go along. / T-Rex: It's cute that these tough guys have no idea what's going on? / Utahraptor: Yeah! / T-Rex: But wimpy guys talk about women too! / Utahraptor: Wimpy guys talk about a lot of things! / T-Rex: hah hah! Like COMPUTERS.
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inspired by livejournal! T-Rex: I was talking to a friend the other day, and it turns out he'd never played the classic "Duck Hunt" video game! / Devil: GREETINGS T-REX WHAT IS DUCK HUNT / T-Rex: The Devil! What are you doing here?! / Devil: I HAVE RECENTLY BEEN PLAYING A GAME IN WHICH ONE CONTROLS A ROBOT LOADED WITH FUTURISTIC WEAPONRY / Devil: A MASTERY OF TORSIONAL TWISTING IS NECESSARY TO ENSURE VICTORY / Devil: BUT I CONFESS I AM AS YET UNFAMILIAR WITH THE DUCK HUNT GENRE / T-Rex: I can't believe it! I've played a game you haven't?! / Utahraptor: Are you talking to the devil again? / T-Rex: I am! / Devil: IS DUCK HUNT A GOOD GAME / T-Rex: Get this: he's never played Duck Hunt! / Utahraptor: Hah hah, oh man! Everyone's played Duck Hunt! / T-Rex: Seriously! / Devil: I SUSPECT THE GAME WAS SIMPLY NOT AVAILABLE IN MY AREA / T-Rex: You shoot little ducks on the TV with your gun! / Devil: HA HA SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT IS IT LIKE / Devil: IS IT PRETTY COOL
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the random axe of kindness T-Rex: I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that compelled me to commit "random acts of kindness"! / T-Rex: (True story!) / T-Rex: Anyway, that's exactly what I intend to do today. Kindness ahoy! / Narrator: SOON: / T-Rex: Is this house bothering you, Dromiceiomimus? / Dromiceiomimus: The house? Why would a house be bothering me? / T-Rex: Well - just in case! / T-Rex: Hey, is this woman bothering you, Utahraptor? / Utahraptor: Man, leave her alone! / Utahraptor: Your attempts to help us are clearly causing more harm than good, T-Rex! You see that, right? It's like you're living out some stock sitcom plotline! / T-Rex: You're right!! / T-Rex: Hah, the next thing you know, I'll have a wacky but non-threatening gay frien- / T-Rex: OH MY GOD
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people > machines T-Rex: I know one thing that puts us (living people made out of meat) above machine intelligences. / T-Rex: That thing is the ability to feel physical pleasure! / T-Rex: For instance, I'd like to see a machine intelligence feel the relief of a cool breeze on a hot summer's night. They can't, because they're machines! / T-Rex: We are the much more sensual people. / Utahraptor: I'm not sure what you're trying to argue here, T-Rex! / T-Rex: People > machines! / Utahraptor: Yeah, but - couldn't a machine intelligence just press some mental button to emulate a cool breeze or any other sensual sensation? And since they don't really exist yet, I'm not sure why you're arguing small points about them? / T-Rex: Well, I - / Narrator: EARLIER: / Machine Intelligences: T-REX IF YOU TELL ANYONE ABOUT US THEN YOU WILL BE ELIMINATED / T-Rex: But come on! You have to admit that we're the superi- / Machine Intelligences: E-LIM-MIN-NAT-ED
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how to live a meaningful life: let the internet tell you Narrator: "HOW TO LIVE A MEANINGFUL LIFE" / Narrator: featuring / Narrator: TALKING DINOSAURS / T-Rex: That's me! / T-Rex: Many people wish to know how live a meaningful life! / T-Rex: These people include newborn babies, youth, mature young adults, disenchanted middle-agers, executives - heck, even your own next-door neighbour may be secretely [sic] interested in living a meaningful life! / T-Rex: Some say dedicating your life to helping others is the key. / Utahraptor: That sounds like a good start! / T-Rex: However, these people are WRONG. The only way to truly live a meaningful life is to engage in sexual congress with a large number of partners! / Utahraptor: What? / Utahraptor: Seriously, what? / T-Rex: Hah hah, okay, you got me! I was just fooling. Good one though, eh? / T-Rex: Seriously, helping others is alright
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god and the devil minicomics God: HEY T-REX DO YOU KNOW WHERE WIND COMES FROM / T-Rex: You mean you don't know?! You're God! / God: UM OF COURSE I KNOW I JUST WANT TO SEE IF YOU DO / T-Rex: Okay! / T-Rex: Well, as I understand it, wind is caused when high-temperature clouds interact with low-temperature clouds? And the Earth's rotation works into is somehow? / God: YEAH THAT SOUNDS GOOD / Narrator: the end / Utharaptor: T-Rex, I've got some bad news! / T-Rex: Oh no! / Devil: MMMM HERE IT COMES / Utahraptor: Some guy's parked car had its emergency brake fail, and it rolled down a hill and hit your house! I think you need new siding. / T-Rex: Aw man! Why people always got to ram their cars into my house? / Devil: I FIND THESE CIRCUMSTANCES TO BE QUITE HUMOROUS / T-Rex: Did you have anything to do with this?! / Devil: I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM NOR DENY THESE SCURRILOUS ALLEGATIONS / Devil: HOWEVER I DO CONFESS TO ACHIEVING UPWARDS OF / Devil: FIFTY POINTS
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music student or... psychology student? T-Rex: I have a question that I can ask all my friends! The question is, "would you rather kiss a music student, or a psychology student?". / T-Rex: Hee hee! I am the best friend to have ever! / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus! Listen, I have a question for you: would you rather kiss a music student, or a psychology student? / Dromiceiomimus: A psychology student, I guess! That's just because I don't really know any music students, though. / T-Rex: How INTERESTING. / Utahraptor: So what's the deal here, T-Rex? / T-Rex: The deal? / Utahraptor: Yeah - is it like, a music student would have good rhythm or something, while a psychology student would know exactly what you want in a smooch? / T-Rex: What? No, of course not! / T-Rex: You can't apply broad generalizations to heterogeneous groups. Each person has their unique properties and outlook on life. / T-Rex: Dude! Good thing I was around, eh?
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feeeeed the birds, chimichangas a bag T-Rex: I have made another exciting music-themed discovery: / T-Rex: Any song can have its lyrics replaced with variations on the word "chimichangas"! / T-Rex: For example: "Chim chimi chang chim chimi chang chimichangas!" / Dromiceiomimus: I - I don't recognize that song. / T-Rex: Come on! Everyone knows it. / Utahraptor: This is one weaksauce discovery, T-Rex! / T-Rex: You wound me! / Utahraptor: Well, sorry! But come on, this is just a variation on scat, only for some reason you're limiting yourself to a single Mexican food. / T-Rex: it works really well with songs from Mary Poppins / Narrator: EARLIER: / T-Rex: What a delightful film!
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=537
anger management (not the film. the comic.) T-Rex: Let us talk today about a very important topic: / T-Rex: Anger management! / T-Rex: One must always manage their anger, lest it become under- or even un-managed and therefore out of control! But we should also remember that emotions aren't good or bad things - it's what we do with them that matters. For instance, anger can help us break things that would otherwise remain unbroken! Like with... / T-Rex: ...pi?atas? / Utahraptor: So what's your anger management technique? / T-Rex: I'm glad you asked! / T-Rex: Whenever you feel angry and think maybe you shouldn't be upset, just repeat to yourself, "Don't be so angry okay? Sheesh!" / Utahraptor: That's the most facile anger management technique I've ever heard! / T-Rex: One might expect me to become hilariously angry at such a comment, but I'm managing my anger. / T-Rex: Still! Ouch!
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=538
i can turn sammiches into thoughts about further sammiches T-Rex: Man, I'm amazing! I'm a machine that turns FOOD into IDEAS! / Narrator: T-REX IN: "MAN, I"M AMAZING." / T-Rex: I'm a machine that turns chicken wings into things being stomped on. I turn a who friggen' bag of chips into new ideas about gender relations! What other new creation (besides the dinosaurs, OF COURSE) can turn physical things into abstract ideas? I'm totally great! / Utahraptor: T-Rex, you're forgetting about Babbage engines! / T-Rex: Shoot, I am! / T-Rex: Though they never advanced beyond the prototype stage, his engines were some of the first machines that transformed physical labour (turning a crank) into mental labour (summing two numbers). It was a revolutionary idea! / Utahraptor: Exactly! / T-Rex: And yet - bag of chips! Gender relations! / T-Rex: I could probably turn all-you-can-eat ribs into a freakin' aria!
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=539
 
a good day for talking about ex-girlfriends T-Rex: Today is a good day I think for talking about ex-girlfriends! / T-Rex: Woooooooo! / Dromiceiomimus: Maybe this isn't the best idea ever, T-Rex! / T-Rex: But maybe it is! What could possibly go wrong? / Dromiceiomimus: You offend your ex-girlfriends by betraying their trust, and look like a pretty big jerk in the process? / T-Rex: No, no! Come on, it'll be great. / Utahraptor: I think I agree, T-Rex! This is the worst kind of kissing and telling. / T-Rex: The worst? / Utahraptor: Yeah, it's kissing and telling years later, which, for serious, will not lead to good things. / T-Rex: But what if I have only good things to say about them, hmm? What about THAT? / Narrator: AND SO: / T-Rex: I still love all my ex-girlfriends, and remain good friends with them to this day. / T-Rex: T-REX WINS!
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=540
everyone's favourite topic: se^H^Hrelationships! T-Rex: Time to talk about everyone's favourite topic... / T-Rex: Relationships! / T-Rex: Have you ever found yourself in a relationship that required at least a few sentences to explain what was going on, that couldn't be summed up in a single word like "boyfriend" or "ex-girlfriend"? / Dromiceiomimus: Well, actually, the thing you and I have is sort of- / T-Rex: Exactly! I'm glad you understand, Dromiceiomimus. / Utahraptor: So what about relationships that can't be summarized into one word? / T-Rex: Um. / T-Rex: They're...pretty okay? / Utahraptor: They're "pretty okay". / T-Rex: Okay, honestly, I wanted to talk more about how deep and important some friendships can be, but we've somehow moved away from that. / T-Rex: I have no one to blame but myself!
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=541
t-rex, what are you doing T-Rex: So - dating ex-girlfriends? I've heard this can be a bad idea, but I don't know... / T-Rex: What's the worst that could happen?! / Dromiceiomimus: But T-Rex, assuming you and the lady broke up for a reason, won't these problems still be there? / T-Rex: Maybe, but I don't think so! We're different, more mature people now, and if we make sure it's more casual - less high expectations, less intense - I really think it could work! / Utahraptor: More casual, eh? More like more casual KISSING, probably! / T-Rex: No! / T-Rex: I've really tried to separate sex from it. I don't know. I'd just like to try it again: hanging out, doing things together, having fun, only now with a non-zero chance of smooches! / Utahraptor: You think it could be different? / T-Rex: I really do! / Narrator: THIS LEADS TO SEVERAL MUTUALLY-SATISFACTORY, CONSEQUENCE-FREE MAKEOUTS WITH EX-GIRLFRIENDS: / T-Rex: Hah hah hah! / T-Rex: How AGREEABLE.
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=542
this just in: some ads are dumb T-Rex: Anyway! Relationships are for the young and the criminally insane. What's of real importance is that I saw a car dealership ad yesterday advertising that "no reasonable offer will be refused"! / T-Rex: Well, yeah! / T-Rex: Oooh, ads like that burn my biscuits. Of course they're not going to refuse a reasonable offer! That's what makes it so reasonable! And worse, since "reasonable" can be a very subjective word, it's not really saying anything beyond "Hey, I won't refuse an offer for reasons that I personally find irrational." / Utahraptor: It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this, T-Rex! / T-Rex: It's a thought fueled by rage!! / T-Rex: It just bothers me that they're trying to make it sounds like a big thing when it's just business as usual! That's deceptive. / Utahraptor: That's advertising! / T-Rex: So annoying! Plus, I saw this other ad on the same day that said "everyone approved O.A.C." / T-Rex: O.A.C. stands for "on approved credit"! Everyone's approved if they're approved?! Aaargh! / T-Rex: I could make some joke about tautological advertisements, but I find them too annoying to laugh at right now.
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=543
self-doubt shenanigans T-REX THE TALKING DINOSAUR IN: / "SELF-DOUBT SHENANINGANS" / T-Rex: Self-doubt! / T-Rex: While it can occasionally help us re-evaluate bad ideas, it can also be crippling. People who are too self-doubting can become (figuratively) / paralyzed, unable to have even the smallest faith in their abilities! USUALLY, this is unfounded. / Utahraptor: Why all this talk about self-doubt, T-Rex? Are YOU self-doubting? / T-Rex: Hah, of course not! / T-Rex: Besides, if I was, it would be self-skepticism, not self-doubt. Doubt can be irrational and unfounded, but skepticism relies on a critical evaluation of the facts at hand, and an informed judgment of their merit. / Utahraptor: Hah! / T-Rex: No, but I don't have any doubt in myself, see? / T-Rex: T-Rex rules the schools! / T-Rex: I cannot stress this enough!!
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=544
 

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