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utahraptor it's only mammals that have hairy facial skin flaps, getcho facts straight before you get ...	T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, pick a color between ultramarine and puce! / Dromiceiomimus: Red? / T-Rex: OH MY GOSH THAT / T-Rex: WAS / T-REX: THE COLOUR I WAS THINKING OF / T-Rex: What shade of red? Is it like, a pinky reddish shade? / Dromiceiomimus: Yep! That's the one I was thinking of! / T-Rex: AMAZING.... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1994
i am posting this comic at an airport at 2 am! a floor sweeper just went by and joey said "nice to sweep ...	Devil: GREETINGS T-REX I HAVE DISCOVERED SOME INTERESTING STAR TREK FACTS / T-Rex: Huh! / Devil: THAT I NOW PROPOSE SHARING WITH YOU / T-Rex: ... / T-Rex: MAKE IT SO. / Devil: DID YOU KNOW THAT THE SAME WARP FIELD TECHNOLOGY THAT ALLOWS THE ENTERPRISE TO TRAVEL FASTER THAN LIGHT IS ALSO USED IN THE SHIP'S... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1995
But my sense of hearing works 24/7!	T-Rex : My sense of sight is useless when I sleep, because, like MOST men of taste and breeding, I sleep with my eyes closed, staring at the inside of my fleshy head. / T-Rex : But my sense of hearing works 24/7! / T-Rex : Even when I'm sleeping, a loud noise is enough to wake me up and make me say... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1996
today in orlando joey comeau and i ate at ihop and shot machine guns and had naps and went bowling. ...	T-Rex: Last night I dreamed I was out on a picnic table with all my personal electronics, and this group of kids thought it was a garage sale! / T-Rex: Okay YES I KNOW DREAMS ARE STUPID, but bear with me! / T-Rex: So these kids are picking up my stuff, but suddenly it's not my stuff, it's my friend's... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1997
i wrote this comic after seeing the last space shuttle launch with my own two eyes, and it was awesome, ...	T-Rex: Why I want to go into space, an essay by me, T-Rex! / T-Rex: ahem / T-Rex: PROBABLY BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME?? / Narrator: THE END / Utahraptor: Why I want to go into space, an essay by me, Utahraptor! / T-Rex: Hooray! / Utahraptor: Exploration of the universe is our first, best destiny and it... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1998

if you're wondering about "down in florida to see the final space shuttle launch" updates, today joey ...	T-Rex: Mars! Let's go there. I really REALLY think we should go to Mars, you guys. / T-Rex: LET'S GO TO MARS / Dromiceiomimus: Hey T-Rex! Do you know a place where it's always warm and where you instantly lose 60% of your weight? / T-Rex: Oh man! Is it Mars? It's Mars, isn't it?? / Dromiceiomimus: It's... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1999
today joey and i fly back to toronto to resume our lives! we turn back into torontonians and give up ...	Narrator: EIGHT YEARS AGO: / T-Rex: Today is a good day I think for being remembered! And I will be immortalized by kicking an evil kangaroo one thousand times. Right in the bum! / Narrator: NOW: / T-Rex: [[thinking]] kangaroo kicks / T-Rex: Aw, frig!! / T-Rex: I was supposed to be kicking kangaroos... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2000
if you don't like "internet" being used as a non-singleton, then oh boy are you cheezed after reading ...	T-Rex: What's that? The internet is down? FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU- / T-Rex: -nnily enough, I carry a backup internet in my phone! / T-Rex: My phone internet is down? FFFFF- / T-Rex: -ortunately, there's a library nearby! / Narrator: SOON: / T-Rex: What's that, the library is closed? Well, FRRRRIIIIII- / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2001
perhaps a better way to phrase this is, who would win in a fight: a dinosaur or a non-dinosaur?	God: HEY T-REX WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT YOU OR ME / T-Rex: Dude, me! Like all men, I secretly believe myself to be fully capable of punching out God. / T-Rex: / T-Rex: But only if circumstances demanded it, obviously!! / God: WHAT SORT OF CIRCUMSTANCES ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE / T-Rex: Say you challenge... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2002
if you read this comic and sighed too, don't worry, sharks don't know how to get emails and getting emails ...	T-Rex: We dinosaurs are pretty badass. we're apex predators and we bend the world to our will! We are the grea- / GOD: YOU'RE NOT AS BADASS AS SHARKS / T-Rex: Say whaaaat? / GOD: T-REX HOW WERE YOU BORN / T-Rex: My mom laid an egg and then later on I PUNCHED MY WAY OUT! / GOD: YAWN / GOD: MOM SAND TIGER... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2003

if you are a superhero named "super muncher and destroyer" then don't use this comic because panel 2 ...	T-Rex: Aw frigs dangs and craps!! Circumstances and/or events have made me... ANGRY. / Narrator: I AM SUPER MAD AND DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT / a web card / T-Rex: In fact I'm so angry that right now I don't even want to talk about my feelings. I KNOW IT SEEMS INCONCEIVABLE, but right now, at... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2004
mr tusks i will try to be the bigger man here	Narrator: T-REX IS ON HIS WAY TO VISIT TINY TOWNE ISLAND / T-Rex: I'm off to see my friend, the Vice Mayor of Tiny Town himself: Mr. Tusks! He's a tiny elephant with island dwarfism. It's been too LONG since I've last seen him! / T-Rex: Wait frig I mean it's been a TINY bit too long since I've last seen... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2005
originally the last line of this comic was "let's get burgers right now instead", but that sounded like ...	T-Rex: Air gets boring! Who here is bored with air; keep breathing air if you're bored with air. / T-Rex: ... / T-Rex: Wow, EVERYBODY?? / T-Rex: Luckily for us there are other things you can breathe instead of air! SCIENTIFICALLY, air is about 78% nitrogen, 20% oxygen, and 2% a bunch of other gasses... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2006
i took all these kitchen phrases from the top of my head and i am concerned that i have NO IDEA how they ...	Narrator: EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT KITCHENS / T-Rex: Kitchens! There's a lot to know about kitchens. They're where you store and/or make food. / T-Rex: Hey! Now you know everything you need to know about kitchens! / Dromiceiomimus: But what about design and sink placement? / T-Rex: Well- / Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2007
tl;dr: i met someone who has the exact same name as a cat i know	T-Rex: Hello! I have some opinions about your name. Perhaps you'd like to hear them? / WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH YOUR NAME / a web card / T-Rex: I know you probably didn't choose it, but still. Your name. / T-Rex: Oh my god, your name. / T-Rex: I like you but sometimes I have trouble dealing with your ridiculous... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2008

I guess...	T-Rex : I guess we really had... Gone With The Wind. / [[Blank Panel 2]] / T-Rex : I guess that really was... The Origin of Species. / Dromiceiomimus : I guess we really did each have our own... Great Expectations. / T-Rex : I guess we never really did learn how... To Kill A Mockingbird. / Dromiceiomimus... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2009
what's the difference between a webcartoonist and a dick joke? some people think dick jokes are funny. ...	God: HEY T-REX WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WEBCARTOONIST AND A BROKEN FRIDGE / T-Rex: At least the fridge used to be cool! / Narrator: MORE PROFESSION JOKES / Narrator: this time optimized for WEBCARTOONISTS / T-Rex: What does a Salvation Army Santa and a webcartoonist have in common? / Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2010
if you are the same way as t-rex, good news! you'll forget all about hot water heaters again by the time ...	T-Rex: Ohhhh, my hot water heater's out again and I don't know what to say! / T-Rex: I've been taking cold showers almost everyday! / T-Rex: And though I know that entropy makes everything decay / It's kinda left the shower-based aspects of my life in disarray! / Dromiceiomimus: Based on a true story? / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2011
now, back to my dinosaur-sized car that runs on fossil fuels	T-Rex: What would it be like to be a millionaire? To have effectively unlimited disposable income? / God: WHY DON'T YOU FIND ONE AND ASK THEM / T-Rex: That's not a bad idea! / T-Rex: The only problem is, I don't know any millionaires! Where do you go to meet millionaires? Is there like, a pool I... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2012
if i came across someone who used "sexduction" to mean "seduction leading to sex" i would question their ...	T-Rex: Folks say you should learn a new word every day. At that rate, you'd need a language with 30,000 words in it! / T-Rex: That's actually not that many so I guess we're good!! / T-Rex: So today's Word of the Day means "a process whereby bacterium incorporates foreign DNA brought in by a modified... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2013

the other backup moral is that, in retrospect, i guess the sorcerer didn't need aladdin at all, that's ...	T-Rex: Aladdin's a guy living in a mysterious city! And a sorcerer shows up and asks him to retrieve a magic lamp from a booby-trapped cave and gives him a magic ring. Oh! Also, everyone is Chinese. / Narrator: THE STORY OF ALADDIN / Narrator: as told in the 17th century / T-Rex: So Chinese Aladdin... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2014
i was worried i'd written myself into a corner by giving someone as clever as t-rex wishes, but then ...	God: T-REX AS YOU SPENT LAST NIGHT RUBBING EVERY LAMP IN YOUR HOUSE I FEEL COMPELLED TO GRANT YOU THREE WISHES / T-Rex: Sheesh finally!! / T-Rex: Also that was a private time but WHATEVER! / T-Rex: My first wish is for more wishes! / God: NOT ALLOWED / T-Rex: My second wish is to remove restrictions on... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2015
people say, "why don't you revisit the mirror universe from the very early comics" and to them i say, ...	Narrator: A VISION INTO ALTERNATE UNIVERSES / MIRROR: / Out-of-sight mirror universe T-Rex: I'm looking in a mirror right now, which flips any reversed image back again! / Out-of-sight mirror universe T-Rex: also I shaved my goatee / RHYMNING: / T-Rex: This is the universe where we always rhyme! / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2016
"an unfair universe" = i described the premise and none of my friends dropped everything to make it happen, ...	T-Rex: We're all familiar with my amazing movie premise/actual film title, "The Earth Stops Spinning and Everybody Flies Into A Wall"! Because of an unfair universe it remains SADLY UNPRODUCED, but I still came up with an awesome sequel: / T-Rex: "The Day After The Earth Stops Spinning And Everybody... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2017
it occurs to me that if you've never noticed the tiny woman in panel 4 and assumed she has friends, then ...	T-Rex: Because the planet spins, the earth's liquid core acts as a dynamo, generating a magnetic field! And magnetism is a force that can do work, but at our current rotational speed we only get about 60 microteslas of force, which ISN'T MUCH. / T-Rex: A stupid fridge magnet alone is 80 times stronger,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2018

oh! and i am legally required to notify you that the sixth word on the list is "regrettable"	T-Rex : So there was this guy who loved frisbees! He played frisbee all the time. He was big into frisbees, you guys. / T-Rex : And then he died, and he had his body molded into memorial frisbees! For his pals! / T-Rex : THIS IS AMAZING. I need to get big into something that if I'm ever done with my... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2019
IT FINALLY HAPPENED!	Narrator: GOOD EXCUSES FOR MISSING AN APPOINTMENT / T-Rex: Let's say you missed an appointment! You probably need some good friggin' excuses! / T-Rex: Well! Here they are. / T-Rex: "My wife was giving birth, and I guess I had to be there!" / T-Rex: "The world can no longer support the demands made of... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2020
history: too many jerks??	T-Rex: Hey, English! Why you gotta be so sexist? / Narrator: WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO SEXIST, ENGLISH / T-Rex: Why you gotta have a word like "old maid", chock full of negative connotations for unmarried adult women, but there's no equivalently-negative term for unmarried adult men? / Dromiceiomimus: And... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2021
wikipedia oddly insists (five words in) that mistresses are kept by men, but i'm pretty sure i've seen ...	T-Rex: Hey, English! Despite my complaints yesterday, you're still super sexist! My only question is as follows: what gives? / T-Rex: What gives, English? / T-Rex: How come a "master" and "mistress" are totally in charge of a situation, but a mistress is ALSO somebody's piece on the side? How come... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2022
wikipedia now allows that women can be mistresses to other women! good work everyone, my needlessly ...	T-Rex: Holy crap, I think that couple is breaking up! Oh my gosh oh my gosh what do I do oh my gosh!! / T-Rex: Don't mind me, angry couple! I'm just walking by disinterested! / T-Rex: Tra la la! / T-Rex: Phew! Hey, Dromiceiomimus! Don't look now, but the couple I passed behind me is TOTALLY... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2023

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