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| I am realizing that a good 50% of cards could conclude with "anyway i felt bad, so here's a card." the ... | T-Rex: I had a really good time on the swimming trip you planned! / Narrator: "THANKS FOR TAKING ME SWIMMING"
/ Narrator: a web card / T-Rex: Normally when we get together we all see a movie or something, but it was a great idea to go swimming. I had a great time, and I'm sure we all enjoyed the decadence... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1451 |
| they were called "oh's" and just try to track down an o-shaped cereal that is called "oh's". i cannot ... | T-Rex: Once upon a time there was this really great cereal. It was oats in the shape of an "o", sweetened, and inside the "o"s there were clusters of tasty nuts. / T-Rex: It was SO good! / T-Rex: And then they took the cereal off the market and this little kid could never find it again. Okay, it was... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1452 |
| i was going to do the myth of medusa, but she's basically king midas with stone instead of gold and the ... | Narrator: THE MYTH OF ICARUS
/ T-Rex: Icarus and his dad were imprisoned on an island with water patrols, so they couldn't escape by boat. But they still wanted to escape anyway, so they made wings out of wax and feathers and flew away. / T-Rex: Pretty clever, boys!! / T-Rex: And while they were flying,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1453 |
| dromiceiomimus you are the most patient dinosaur of all | T-Rex: If I changed my name to "Well and Good", then if I was killed and mangled in a horribly brutal death, the inspector on the scene could chuckle and nudge his friend and say "Hey. I suppose this is MOSTLY Well and Good?" / T-Rex: Hilarious! / T-Rex: Plus, if people saw me on the street they could... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1454 |
| i am a man who enjoys eating a barbequed anything now and again | T-Rex: I am a man who enjoys eating a barbecued pork chop now and again and then a few times more. / T-Rex: There's no shame in that! / T-Rex: And if you are a man - OR a woman, Dromiceiomimus! - who shares my love for tasty barbecued meat, then you should come over tonight and we'll have a barbecue!
/ Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1455 |
| i can set my calendar by it. "oh, i could kinda go for some fried chicken. i last pigged out on it in ... | Narrator: T-REX IN: "MY FRIED CHICKEN CYCLE" / T-Rex: Oh daaaaaamn! I'm at the absolute peak of my fried chicken cycle, dudes! / T-Rex: Every eight months or so I really want some fried chicken, the greasier the better. Then, I eat the fried chicken, and THEN, that itch is totally scratched! But it... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1456 |
| add a few Is each time you do it | Narrator: COMICS THAT END IN "OH SHIIII-"
/ T-Rex: Wow! The plants are nice and the birds are singing and the sun is almost down from the top of the sky. / T-Rex: What a beautiful day! / Dromiceiomimus: But T-Rex, what if beauty is nothing but an illusion? What if we're all nothing but dreams within... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1457 |
| i guess there's not much science fiction where time travel is facilitated by, you know, god | God: T-REX IF YOU COULD SAY ONE SENTENCE TO YOUR PAST SELF WHAT WOULD IT BE
/ T-Rex: Um - "What's shake-a-lakin', past dude?" / God: WHAT'S SHAKE-A-LAKIN' PAST DUDE"
/ T-REX: You put me on the spot! / T-Rex: I need time to think of what I'd say to my younger self. What would you say, Dromiceiomimus?
/ Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1458 |
| this is me shamelessly appealing to the digging-ditches-and-hating-it part of the audience | T-Rex: We'd all be a heck of a lot more productive if work was as entertaining as - you know, entertainment! In particular, I'd be a lot better off if learning accounting was as relentlessly entertaining as learning, I don't know... / T-Rex: ...of the sexual histories of friends and acquaintances, PERHAPS?? / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1459 |
| i'm the handsome one | T-Rex: I was doing a search on my name and discovered that there's ANOTHER guy called "T-Rex" out there! / T-Rex: And he's a VEGAN! / T-Rex: HILARIOUS. / Utahraptor: Vegans are hilarious now?
/ T-Rex: Oh man, are they? / Utahraptor: No no, I meant, "This is hilarious because he's vegan?"
/ T-Rex: Ah,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1460 |
| MORE ON TATTOOS FROM THE GUY WHO WILL ONLY GET ONE WHEN HE HAS CONSIDERED THEIR SIGNIFICANCE FROM ALL ... | T-Rex: Tattoos are insurance policies! They're ways of reserving who you are now for the rest of your life. / T-Rex: And I present proof! Proof by explaining what I just said! / T-Rex: When you get a tattoo, you're getting pictures or words - or both! - written right onto your flesh permanently,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1461 |
| i'm not making fun of the devil. anyone to get 10 billion points in arcade nibbler is amazing and probably ... | Narrator: DINOSAUR COMICS ASKS: HOW IS TODAY SPECIAL FOR YOU?
/ T-Rex: Today is special because today is the day I show everyone how manly I am. Today is the day I punch out the friggin' sun!! / God: TODAY IS SPECIAL BECAUSE NO WAY COULD T-REX EVER PUNCH OUT THE SUN
/ T-Rex: Aw nuts! / Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1462 |
| TRUE FACTS: there was a duke3d ladder, and i was really good - in the worldwide top 50! i thought i was ... | T-Rex: I have a favourite video game company, WHICH SHALL NOT BE NAMED, but which has been working on the same game for the past 12 years. And they just closed down! / T-Rex: Without releasing the friggin' game! / T-Rex: I feel strong - feelings, Dromiceiomimus! I think it's some shock, some anger,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1463 |
| this comic was made for the comics festival book for free comic book day 2009! it was an all-ages book ... | Narrator: THE STORY OF ROBIN HOOD
/ T-Rex: Robin Hood was a guy who lived in a forest with some of his chums. Guys, he made tree forts! / T-Rex: He ALSO stole form the rich and gave to the poor! / T-Rex: He made tree forts AND crimes. And the Sheriff of Nottingham didn't like this one bit! He was... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1464 |
| please nobody who reads my comic break up today!! okay sweet | Narrator: T-REX SOLVES YOUR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS.
/ T-Rex: Hello everybody! If you stopped having relationships, maybe you'd stop having relationship problems! / T-Rex: Okay anyway! / T-Rex: Let's say you've got a problem with your partner: THAT SUCKS. But you two should talk about it, and if you... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1465 |
| SPIDER-MAN! WILL!! DIE!!! | T-Rex: A narrative hook is when you introduce a story with something incredible so your audience will keep reading! It happens when you're told that in this comic... SPIDER-MAN! WILL!! DIE!!! / Narrator: LITERARY TECHNIQUE COMICS
/ Narrator: today's technique:
/ Narrator: NARRATIVE HOOK / T-Rex: Setting,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1466 |
| turbellaria flatworms you better not be fighting in there! oh. oh my goodness. | T-Rex: Turbellaria flatworms are hermaphroditic, with viable male AND female sex organs! / T-Rex: Pretty great, I know! / T-Rex: But because of this, when it comes to reproduction, who's gonna be the mother is up for debate. And it turns out that being pregnant is hard work! So these worms FIGHT IT... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1467 |
| QUANTUM EROTICA is not only a great concept, it's is also a great name for someone. feel free to use ... | T-Rex: Some people think pornography is bad, since when they see it they get offended and say "That's way too explicit. SHEESH!" With that in mind, I've come up with something special: pornography for them! But it's also - / T-Rex: Pornography for everyone! / T-Rex: Obviously, you can't control how... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1468 |
| t-rex is wrong: a google search for "He's an A number one writer dude" returns zero results, with or ... | T-Rex: So folks say that Shakespeare was a pretty good writer, right? Everyone's all, "He's an A+ umber one writer dude"? / T-Rex: Right! / T-Rex: But I think a big part of this is that we're only familiar with his greatest works! If he'd lived TODAY, he might still have written Hamlet, but he also... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1469 |
| t-rex is wrong: a google search for "He's an A number one writer dude" returns zero results, with or ... | T-Rex: So folks say that Shakespeare was a pretty good writer, right? Everyone's all, "He's an A+ umber one writer dude"? / T-Rex: Right! / T-Rex: But I think a big part of this is that we're only familiar with his greatest works! If he'd lived TODAY, he might still have written Hamlet, but he also... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1469 |
| wrote this comic while listening to sound of water dripping and a door creaking, thought it was amazing ... | T-Rex: Who gets to wake up this morning with nausea, dizziness, and an uncanny ability to feel physically terrible? / T-Rex: Oh boy! It's me, T-Rex! / T-Rex: Okay, so I am ready to evolve into an energy being now please! Or a machine intelligence! Or a distributed cloud of pure thought! My body has... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1470 |
| okay so i have had that "man held prisoner by robots" image scanned and waiting since the week after ... | T-Rex: I had the craziest fever dream last night! / T-Rex: It was the craziest! / Dromiceiomimus: So what happened in your dream, T-Rex?
/ T-Rex: Well, I'm not sure I can put it into words, but I'm pretty sure it went a little something like this.
/ T-Rex: [picture]
/ Dromiceiomimus: Wow! Robots and all! / Utahraptor:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1471 |
| LATER: t-rex's decides if he names his kid "t-rex jr." it will be pronounced "t-rex jay arr" and he will ... | T-Rex: If my parents had named me "Lord Britishface the Third", would I be a different person? / T-Rex: The answer is "I say, most certainly!" / T-Rex: A name sets up EXPECTATIONS. "T-Rex" says, "This awesome dude will probably be a great friend!" But Lord Britishface III says "Here is a man who will... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1472 |
| "ryan north died today. he was the guy who put the words in the dinosaur mouths. man, remember them?" | God: T-REX WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR OBITUARY TO SAY
/ T-Rex: I've already come up with the perfect one! / T-Rex: "T-Rex died today while saving a busload of baby orphans... FROM THE JOKER." / T-Rex: And it has to have the caps like that too. Ooh! Or it could read "In today's obituary we focus on T-Rex,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1473 |
| later on t-rex is like, whatever man, my neck flaps look awesome, screw all the hatahs | T-Rex: Who is getting a little tubby? Me. I am getting a little tubby.
/ T-Rex: I've got neck flaps! / T-Rex: Time for me to start counting my friggin' calories! / Dromiceiomimus: T-Rex, do you actually know what a calorie is? It's just, sometimes people use the phrase without actually knowing what... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1474 |
| some readers get a double dose of raggin' on fahrenheit. thanks sam for inspiring this comic! | T-Rex: Celsius is way better than Fahrenheit! Celsius puts zero at the point where water freezes, and 100 at the point where it boils. That's handy! Water's EVERYWHERE, man. / T-Rex: If you're ever trapped in the past you can recreate Celsius, no problem! / T-Rex: But Fahrenheit? FAHRENHEIT is based... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1475 |
| cetirizine hydrochloride works well at minimizing the symptoms of being incapacitated by the sperm cells ... | T-Rex: Man, how come I'M the one who always get the same cold in spring? Darn this runny nose! This sneezing! And these itchy, watery eyes! / God: SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE GOT ALLERGIES T-REX
/ T-Rex: Nuh-uh! / T-Rex: I just have the SYMPTOMS. It's this stupid cold I keep getting. Um, every spring.
/ Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1476 |
| this comic at one point was about t-rex's womanliest woman, the venus to his mars, the muliebrity to ... | GOD: T-REX HOW COME YOUR IDEA OF ULTIMATE MANLINESS INVOLVES HIGH FIVING THREE WOMEN AT ONCE
/ T-Rex: I dunno. Probably because it's awesome! / T-Rex: As the saying goes, "three women are trice as nice"! / GOD: OKAY YEAH PROBABLY BUT IT SEEMS LIKE YOU EQUATE MANLINESS WITH POLYAMORY AND I FIND THAT... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1477 |
| i am not intending to produce this t-shirt for i know, in my heart of hearts, that none of my readers ... | T-Rex: Oh my goodness, is my absolute favourite weather TRULY the high winds just before a storm?
/ T-Rex: I have considered the matter and my answer is this: / T-Rex: Most assuredly! / T-Rex: The wind is awesome. So awesome! You can stand on the edge of a cliff, leaves swirling around you, staring... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1478 |
| feelin' bad about the limitations of my non-super tear ducts :~( | God: T-REX HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT YOUR LIFE WOULD BE LIKE IF YOU HAD SUPER POWERS
/ T-Rex: Frig! I am now!! / [[t-rex begins imagining]] / T-Rex: Please excuse me, Dromiceiomimus! I'm off to save some citizens. AS YOU KNOW, I have super strength.
/ Dromiceiomimus: Yep! But don't worry about it,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1479 |
| my fare lay dee | T-Rex: You know that story where a classy guy takes a not-so-classy lady and then makes her classy?
/ God: PYGMALION
/ T-Rex: My Fair Lady, yeah! / T-Rex: I think it's time for some My Fair Lady sequels! / T-Rex: Like one where the lady from the first story takes a not-so-classy guy and sculpts HIM into... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1480 |
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