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'We need leaders who understand technology,' muttered Amelia!	T-Rex: "We Need Leaders Who Actually Understand Technology." Ahem. Amelia and Antonio Tony stood in the bedroom. They were going to have sex! This is how things looked like they were going to me, the omniscient third-person narrator: sexy times ahoy. / T-Rex: 'We need leaders who actually understand... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1115
but one in a string of several long, unblinking moments	Narrator: T-REX'S EROTICA IS EXTREMELY POPULAR! / T-Rex: Sweet! / Narrator: BUT NOW, HE HAS A REPUTATION AS A PORN GUY. / T-Rex: Aw boo! / T-Rex: It sucks, Dromiceiomimus! People stop me in the street and say "I love your work", and what do you say to that? "I'm glad you found my stories arousing"? Because... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1116
just the first three panels of this comic = your christmas card this year??	T-Rex: I would like to get thoughtful Christmas presents for all my friends and family, but I have a problem. / T-Rex: I am just not that thoughtful a person! / T-Rex: WHOOPS? / Narrator: the end / Narrator: A FEW WEEKS LATER AT THE MALL, T-REX TRIES A DIFFERENT TACK. / T-Rex: Hey, Utahraptor, if... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1117
"utahraptor, erection isn't a swear word! it's what happens to buildings and bridges."	Narrator: FRUSTRATION COMICS / T-Rex: I have never been more frustrated than I am right now! I'm so frustrated I'm - I'm gonna write a swear on a wall! / Narrator: SOON: / T-Rex: There! It says: "poo". / Narrator: THE END / Narrator: FRUSTRATION COMICS II / T-Rex: I'm frustrated again! / Utahraptor: Me... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1118
a wizard has turned you into a whale... of a good time!	T-Rex: If someone says something is "a whale of a good time", I'm expecting to see some marine life. / T-Rex: Guys! I am not alone in this! / T-Rex: The phrase has been ruined bye people making the obvious stupid joke. Now it's only used by zoos featuring whales, or by dads, when then are taking their... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1119

this is me getting up this morning: "oh boy, i wonder what i'm gonna write today?" and then this is me ...	T-Rex: Has there ever been a situation in which a tiger has eaten a penguin? / T-Rex: And then the penguin is all, "DANG"? / Dromiceiomimus: But those two animals would never meet in real life, right? / T-Rex: Right! So that leaves us, the dinosaurs, to introduce the two species and watch one of them... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1120
blackjack!	T-Rex: What would be the best thing for me to do tonight? As I see it, I could do the dishes, or I could mop the floors, or I GUESS that I could invent an elixir that gives me the strength of twenty men. / Narrator: LATER: / T-Rex: Or I guess I could do all three! / Narrator: THE NEXT MORNING: / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1121
anyway. doug's a triceratops	Doug: Hello, is Utahraptor there? / T-Rex: Nope! He's still asleep. / Doug: He slumbers still?! / Doug: When he arises, inform him his friend Doug would have words with him. / T-Rex: Sure thing? / Narrator: BACKSTORY: UTAHRAPTOR WAS CRASHING ON THE COUCH LAST NIGHT BECAUSE IT WAS LATE AND HE DIDN'T WANT... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1122
a deleted line had t-rex explaining how television is like combination vision-o-vision and audi-o-vision. ...	T-Rex: Oh man! I've just had an elephant of a good idea! / T-Rex: TOUCH-o-vision! / T-Rex: Smell-o-vision has been tried, and vision and hearing are taken care of, but two senses remain yet untapped! Taste-o-vision sounds disgusting, but - there's so much potential for touch-o-vision! / Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1123
matt wrote in yesterday to ask if punchbot was programmed via punchcards. heck yes he is!	T-Rex: I know it's terrible, and I know many people are like this. But I can't deny it any longer! I am that guy! / T-Rex: I am that guy who goes to stand up comedy and thinks, "MAN, I could TOTALLY do that!" / T-Rex: And I know the best comics just make it look easy and I know it's hard to get a room... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1124

And he actually IS an alcoholic!	T-Rex: You know what would be the worst? Meeting someone who was ACTUALLY NAMED "Al Coholic". / T-Rex: And he actually IS an alcoholic! / T-Rex: And he hasn't changed his name and he hates it and he drinks all the time. And everyone laughs when they hear his name, and then they get to know him and... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1125
no more sunday-afternoon calls from mom, asking how astronaut school applications are going	T-Rex: I am a guy who likes to keep his hopes and dreams SECRET. This is because, if I fail to achieve them, then only I know that I screwed up! / T-Rex: Works for me! / T-Rex: It's like, say I tell everyone I want to be an astronaut, right? And now it's 20 years later and I'm not an astronaut and... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1126
AS PROMISED ON MARCH 22nd, 2005, WITH THANKS TO THE PEOPLE ON THE FORUM WHO CAME UP WITH A BUNCH OF THESE. ...	T-Rex: Hypothesis: all movie titles can be made better by the addition of the word "Friggin'". / T-Rex: Proff by selected examples! / T-Rex: Back To The Friggin' Future! / T-Rex: Bill And Ted's Excellent Friggin' Adventure; The Ten Friggin' Commandments; Honey, I Shrunk The Friggin' Kids! / Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1127
hey guys yesterday's comic also works for book and game titles too	Narrator: IT'S WEDNESDAY! HOW ARE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS / T-rex: I would rate my relationships: / T-rex: Pretty okay! / Dromiceiomimus: My relationships are fine too! I broke up with the guy I was dating, but it's cool. / T-rex: What was the reason? / Dromiceiomimus: He punned too often? And they weren't... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1128
i received several dozen emails about utahraptor either being a girl or being gay in yesterday's comic! ...	T-Rex: I have recently acquired some snake oil, and it has inspired me to compile a list of professions that have been ruined by lexicalized phrases! / T-Rex: First: snake oil salesmen! / T-Rex: Since the phrase now means "con artist", nobody wants to be a snake oil salesman! But I presume there was... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1129

i forgot to finish the list of professions ruined by lexicalized phrases yesterday! second was people ...	T-Rex: OH MY GOD. I just realized that yesterday when Utahraptor said "universal panacea", he was using a pleonasm! / T-Rex: (Pleonasm is the use of redundant, unnecessary words to express an idea!) / T-Rex: Hah hah! This is Utahraptor: "Hey, T-Rex, do you want to drink some cola-flavoured Coca-Cola... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1130
t-rex has travelled through time on many occasions. this is like a man on a plane suddenly having doubts ...	T-Rex: Science dudes! / T-Rex: I have some bad news! / T-Rex: I think that time travel might not actually be possible! / T-Rex: Because say I travel to the future and take back some sweet future technology: let us say, hoverbikes. Nice! And then people in the present can examine the hoverbikes and see... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1131
okay i have the leg cramp thing once in a while. i discovered a friend had the same issue, only her solution ...	T-Rex: Dear body! Here are some things you need to stop doing! / T-Rex: Aging? / T-Rex: Also, making weird noises. / Dromiceiomimus: Hah! What kind of noises? / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, yesterday I'm sitting there and my belly kind of goes "tweeeeet?" like it's a, a, a bird or something. What's with... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1132
The alternate, sadder ending has a different last panel, where it's a few weeks earlier, and a woman ...	Narrator: SITUATIONS IN WHICH TO USE "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" / T-Rex: There are many situations in which "that's what she said!" may be appropriately used! For example, after someone says, uh, / T-Rex: "What a good date!" / Dromiceiomimus: That's TERRIBLE. T-Rex, you're supposed to use it to recontextualize... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1133
today i am going to call up a stranger and ask him if i can pay him money to live in his house	Narrator: CLIMATE CHANGE COMICS / T-Rex: CLIMATE CHANGE, huh? / T-Rex: There certainly is a lot of climate that's CHANGING, right? Right?! Can I get a witness? / T-Rex: Or MAYBE, climate isn't changing at all. Or maybe it is, but who cares because it's all someone else's fault! / T-Rex: or maybe the... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1134

IT SURE WOULD BE A GOOD TASK, HUH? a good task for someone with music mashup skills! and - and who also ...	Narrator: T-REX HAS YET TO FIND CHRISTMAS PRESENTS FOR ANYONE. AGAIN. COME ON, T-REX / T-Rex: No problem! I have the whole weekend to find Christmas presents! I'll get great gifts no matter - / Narrator: ONE DAY LATER: / T-Rex: - what. What? Where the heck did Saturday do? What - / Narrator: ONE DAY... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1135
klassic komix for monday	T-Rex: I love punch! I love drinking delicious punch, PROBABLY because of how it's so delicious. / T-Rex: Hooray for punch! / Dromiceiomimus: Are you mentioning punch because the party tonight is so liable to feature punch, T-Rex? / T-Rex: QUITE LIKELY! I don't know why I'm suddenly so into what is... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1136
i told this joke to my mom and she said dromiceiomimus' line. this is what cartoonists say when they ...	T-Rex: What did the depressed snowman say to his dog? / T-Rex: "Snowbody loves me!" / Dromiceiomimus: But why did he say it to his dog? Was it because all his friends were flakes? / T-Rex No. That's good, though. / T-Rex: He said it to his dog because snowbody loved him. He had snow friends! / Utahraptor:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1137
i am trying to ascertain your baby's deal. a moment alone, please.	T-Rex: A lot of my friends are having babies. / Book Cover: BABIES: "WHAT'S THE DEAL?" / Book Cover: a book by t-rex / T-Rex: That's what I say to them! They say, T-Rex, Marcia and I are expecting a little bundle of joy. And I say, Ted, I respect you and love you as a friend, but I have to ask - what's... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1138
stories "4" men	Narrator: STORIES FOR MEN / T-Rex: Men! We like stories, right? / Three voices outside the picture: Right! / T-Rex: But they have to be good stories. Stories with plots in which there are good guys and bad guys, and then some explosions happen to them! / Dromiceiomimus: You sure like explosions, huh? / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1139

stories "fore" women	T-Rex: My stories for men were a huge success - but I've excluded half of my potential market! / Narrator: STORIES FOR WOMEN / T-Rex: I've got a great idea, Dromiceiomimus: stories for women! Stories with FEELINGS. Stories where someone sighs deeply while looking at a photograph of someone else! In... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1140
stories "for" kids	Narrator: STORIES FOR KIDS / T-Rex: This one's easy! / T-Rex: that's because kids are EASILY ENTERTAINED. They just want bright colors that flash and spin! I can take care of that with a kaleidoscope. A story about a kaleidoscope, I mean. / Dromiceiomimus: So you're aiming for the under-six market? / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1141
later: "Hey! Who hit me with this vegetable steamer"	T-Rex: Oh, the things I could do if I had a rubber mallet! / [[T-Rex is daydreaming]] Voice from outside the panel: "Hey! Who hit me with this rubber mallet" / T-Rex: But wait! This is one idle daydream that I can make come true! Dromiceiomimus, how much does a rubber mallet cost? / Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1142
last night i was at a friend's house and mimed a helicopter, which caused me to break a glass and spill ...	T-Rex: There was a man freestyle rapping outside my window last night. / Narrator: EARLIER: / Freestyle Rap Man: My name's not important and I'm here to say / That I've been outside rapping for most of today! / T-Rex: It was pretty okay! His rhymes were moderately tight, too! / Dromiceiomimus: When was... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1143
i wrote this after reading jeremy tinder's "black ghost apple factory" which i recommend whole-heartedly ...	{{i wrote this after reading jeremy tinder's "black ghost apple factory" which i recommend whole-heartedly for the strip "robots don't say i love you"}} / Narrator: T-REX IS IN LOVE WITH YOU. / T-Rex: ...What? / T-Rex: I'm not! / Narrator: YES HE IS. HE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU AND HE WANT TO KISS YOU. / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1144

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