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we have a history: a web card	Narrator: WE HAVE A HISTORY / Narrator: a web card / T-Rex: Dear recipient of this comic: / T-Rex: You and whoever went this card to you totally have a history together! / T-Rex: That's pretty intriguing, isn't it? What sort of history? Did you used to date? There's a lot I don't know about your history. / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=905
alternate ending: god says 'T-REX SOMEONE HAS ALREADY OPENED A STORE CALLED THE RELATIONSHOP' and t-rex ...	T-Rex: I just had the greatest idea for a business ever! It will be a store selling self-help books and stuff for relationships. It will be called... / T-Rex: ...The Relationship! / T-Rex: Hah hah! Assuming people choose their shopping establishments by pun quality, I am truly set! / Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=906
alternate ending: god says 'T-REX SOMEONE HAS ALREADY OPENED A STORE CALLED THE RELATIONSHOP' and t-rex ...	T-Rex: I just had the greatest idea for a business ever! It will be a store selling self-help books and stuff for relationships. It will be called... / T-Rex: ...The Relationship! / T-Rex: Hah hah! Assuming people choose their shopping establishments by pun quality, I am truly set! / Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=906
Shock Ending Comics	Narrator: SHOCK ENDING COMICS / Narrator: today's feature: shock endings in panel five! / T-Rex: Man! Imagine how great things would be if I had a BRITISH ACCENT?? / T-Rex: Forsooth, I recall those fair summers by the Hamptonshire. Cheerio! / T-Rex: Yes! I can see nothing wrong with this fantasy. / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=907
Shock Ending Comics	Narrator: SHOCK ENDING COMICS / Narrator: today's feature: shock endings in panel five! / T-Rex: Man! Imagine how great things would be if I had a BRITISH ACCENT?? / T-Rex: Forsooth, I recall those fair summers by the Hamptonshire. Cheerio! / T-Rex: Yes! I can see nothing wrong with this fantasy. / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=907
implausible high school AND college year AND new class scenarios	T-Rex: Someone going by the all-caps name "ZACH MORRIS" has tagged my house! My front door is now spraypainted with "Zach" 's stupid name for jerks. I don't even like Saved by the Bell that much! / T-Rex: Forget you, Zach Morris! / Dromiceiomimus: I thought you always liked street art, T-Rex! You're... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=908
implausible high school AND college year AND new class scenarios	T-Rex: Someone going by the all-caps name "ZACH MORRIS" has tagged my house! My front door is now spraypainted with "Zach" 's stupid name for jerks. I don't even like Saved by the Bell that much! / T-Rex: Forget you, Zach Morris! / Dromiceiomimus: I thought you always liked street art, T-Rex! You're... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=908
resolve to call more angry men 'sweetcakes'	T-Rex: A new year is coming up. That means it is time to take stock of my life and make resolutions for improvements in the year to come! / God: THERE IS NO CHOICE IN THIS MATTER / T-Rex: RESOLUTION ONE: / T-Rex: eat less chickens! / T-Rex: I mean, eat FEWER chickens. "Fewer" is when you can count them,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=909

imagine living in a world where it was more common! i would rate this world: incredibly sad and incredibly ...	Narrator: DISEASE COMICS / Narrator: today's disease: / Narrator: Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva, or "FOP" / T-Rex: FOP is one of the rarest conditions known to medicine! / T-Rex: It's a genetic disorder that causes muscles and connective tissue to literally change to bone. As more and more tissue... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=910
please to pronounce it 'speci-al-ity' while reading the comic. and otherwise!	Narrator: DISEASE COMICS / Narrator: today's disease: / Narrator: SMOOCHITIS / T-Rex: Smoochitis is when you have a MEDICAL case of the smooches! / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, do you have smoochitis? / Dromiceiomimus: I don't know, T-Rex! I might! / T-Rex: We should smooch to make extra sure! / Narrator:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=911
t-rex wants a mortgage and a nice pair of pants.	T-Rex: I am getting old! WHICH IS FINE, except I'm starting to worry that all I do is young guy stuff and not mature adult stuff, like having a mortgage, or owning more than one pair of nice pants. / Narrator: T-REX COMICS / T-Rex: I'm a little surprised by my own feelings! I've always been a guy... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=912
mister alex ross if you want to please draw this i will script it	T-Rex: So, Dromiceiomimus: Do you know how to draw superheroes? I've got such a great idea for a comic. / Narrator: (IN THIS PANEL, DROMICEIOMIMUS SAYS YES) / T-Rex: Sweet! Okay, so the idea is, there's this guy, Lee, right? One day he gains SUPER POWERS. And I'm not sure how he gets them yet but BASICALLY... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=913
the best deleted dialogue for this comic was 'you make my atheism difficult, god'. the worst was 'colonel ...	T-Rex: I'm a dude who's really not that religious! I'm not a big believer in DEITIES. / God: WHAT / T-Rex: But I don't like it when someone says they've lost their faith because of me! / T-Rex: Because faith is something I don't really have, it's sort of like a sandcastle, right? And I don't want... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=914

if there's ever a zombie epidemic, i pledge to be the first - the first! - to blame the sucky zombies...	T-Rex: Today is the day. Yes! / T-Rex: Today is the day I lose my fear of ZOMBIES. / Narrator: T-REX AND THE LIVING DEAD / T-Rex: The way I see it, zombies are either avoidable or too effective. The only way to become a zombie is to be bitten by one, but not to get eaten, yes? Then the bite kills you... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=915
another comic in which t-rex's tail gets a line	T-Rex: I have discovered the ultimate secret to comedy! The more obscure a joke is, the less people there are who'll get it, but the MORE they'll find it correspondingly HILARIOUS! I suspect this law progresses geometrically. / T-Rex: For example! / T-Rex: Let's say I have a joke about how cats like... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=916
god and t-rex both actually really love science. that is why they want the kilogram! they're going ...	God: T-REX DID YOU KNOW THAT THE KILOGRAM IS ONE OF THE FEW UNITS OF MEASUREMENT STILL DEFINED BY A PHYSICAL OBJECT / T-Rex: Dude! WE HAVE TO STEAL IT! / God: OH MAN WE SO HAVE TO / T-Rex: God! We're going to steal the kilogram! / T-Rex: Now we're gonna have to use out cleverness because it's PROBABLY... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=917
my one regret as a computer scientist is that we never have a reasonable excuse to wear lab coats. what ...	T-Rex: So light behaves like both a particle and a wave, right? And I can hit dudes with particles. Is there nothing stopping me from making a light cannon, which, when fired, throws dudes up against the wall? / T-Rex: Weaponized photons! / Dromiceiomimus: But T-Rex - photons don't have any mass,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=918
everyone throwing their hands up in the air at work - don't worry! i won't get you fired. YOU CAN'T ...	T-Rex: Have I TRULY never thrown my hands up in the air, and waved them all around like I just don't care? / {{T-Rex heaves his arms into the area immediately above their current locale, proceeds to move them in an arc, back and forth, as if he has other things on his mind.}} / T-Rex: I don't see what... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=919

if you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then by three o'clock i shall begin to be happy	T-Rex: I want to write something that'll make people see the world through fresh eyes! Something they'll want to pass on to their children! / God: YOU WANT TO WRITE THE LITTLE PRINCE / T-Rex: BASICALLY. / T-Rex: Except that's been done! I want something NEW that will touch the heart of everyone, WITHOUT... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=920
see what i did there	T-Rex: It's neat how most of our key verbs are just one syllable long! I think that verbs we use a lot change to short words with time, since if they did NOT, it would take a real long time to say all the run-of-the-mill thoughts we have! / T-Rex: We'd get bored each time we'd try to talk! / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=921
deleted dialogue had utahraptor saying ''There's a 'politicians sure do say one thing and mean another' ...	T-Rex: Why can't I say two things at the same time? I've tried just now and all I got out of it was a passport stamped for FAILURE TOWNE. / Narrator: FAILURE TOWNE IS ITS OWN INDEPENDENT NATION HUH / T-Rex: Apparently, dude! / T-Rex: But saying a word is just generating a sound wave, right? I could... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=922
Comics with Sudden Changes in Gender	Narrator: COMICS WITH SUDDEN CHANGES IN GENDER / T-Rex: What a nice day to go out and do manly things. / T-Rex: Maybe I'll flip some cars with my male genitals! / Narrator: SUDDENLY! / T-Rex: I'm a chick! Hah hah hah! / T-Rex: Luckily, I can still do the the things I want, because gender can inform, but... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=923
Comics with Sudden Changes in Gender	Narrator: COMICS WITH SUDDEN CHANGES IN GENDER / T-Rex: What a nice day to go out and do manly things. / T-Rex: Maybe I'll flip some cars with my male genitals! / Narrator: SUDDENLY! / T-Rex: I'm a chick! Hah hah hah! / T-Rex: Luckily, I can still do the the things I want, because gender can inform, but... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=923
"a rose by any other name would smell extra cool" -WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE??	The Devil: T-REX I'LL WAGER YOU EVERYTHING COULD BE MADE BETTER WITH A DIFFERENT NAME / The Devil: FOR EXAMPLE MMORPGS COULD BE REFERRED TO AS FIRM AND SEXY SAUCE / The Devil: ON ACCOUNT OF HOW THEY ARE ALREADY THAT / T-Rex: I got it, yeah! / T-Rex: But come on, how are MMORPGS "firm and sexy sauce"?... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=924

last night, APPARENTLY BY ACCIDENT, a big ol' pot of boiling water was poured on my right hand! luckily ...	T-Rex: I have perfected and bottled INSPIRATION! Take a swig! You'll feel INSPIRED. / Narrator: BOTTLED INSPIRATION COMICS / Dromiceiomimus: So - it's a perfume called "Inspiration" and you drink it, for some reason? / T-Rex: No. No, it's nothing like that. It's actual bottled inspiration! I came up... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=925
we don't eat people, we are people. additionally, we eat people.	T-Rex: Critical mass rides are when a hundred or more cyclists get together and go on a bike ride! They take over a lane of traffic and get to set their pace. The motto and politics are "we don't block traffic, we are traffic!" / T-Rex: It's good times, if you're not in a car! / T-Rex: I find it encouraging... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=926
t-rex naturally assumes that in hell the currency is hellbux(tm), complete with the 'x' and full trademark ...	The Devil: T-REX HAVE YOU ACQUIRED ANY NEW VIDEO GAME CONSOLES OF LATE / T-Rex: Nope! / The Devil: THAT IS A COLOSSALLY STAGGERING DISAPPOINTMENT / T-Rex: Man, you're the Devil — buy your own video games! You must have "Hellbux™" or something! / The Devil: YES BUT DUE TO CONTINUED FISCAL... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=927
they're still super-friends, just, you know - super-friends who never talk about work	T-Rex: I have the best idea! SELLING HUGS. It is a recipe for Instant Profits! The lonely will pay me three dollars for the Squeezy Special! / T-Rex: All I need is a female business partner, Dromiceiomimus! / T-Rex: THAT'S on account of how some people want a woman-hug, and that is one hug I can't... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=928
t-rex is down with the sickness	T-Rex: Would the dude who is TRULY sick please raise the roof? / T-Rex: OH WAIT. It's me!! / Dromiceiomimus: T-Rex, I don't mean to be inconsiderate, but shouldn't you be in bed? You're the only person I know who goes out of his way to ANNOUNCE his sickness to the world. / T-Rex: What? I do not.... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=929

nanite comics	Narrator: NANITE COMICS / T-Rex: Nanites are tiny robots! They're SO TINY that they can robotically mess with things at the molecular level. / T-Rex: Pretty darned sweet, my friends! / T-Rex: The dream is that you could pour a vial of nanites on your bed and they'd transform it at the "nano" level... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=930
in 1979 a chinese climber named wang hongbao claimed to have seen a body of an english climber, but was ...	T-Rex: George Mallory and Andrew Irvine were the two British dudes who first tried to climb Mount Everest! / Narrator: THE STORY OF GEORGE MALLORY AND ANDREW IRVINE (INCREDIBLE TRUE PART) / T-Rex: Their last sighting was just a few hundred metres from the summit. They never made it back! A STANDARD... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=931
boing boing please to start posting about the everest eliminator now	Narrator: T-REX AND UTAHRAPTOR ARE GOING TO CLIMB MOUNT EVEREST: / T-Rex: Sure are! How hard could it be? It's just like climbing stairs, only longer! / T-Rex: And if I stay too long at the top of the stairs, I'll die! / Dromiceiomimus: Are you guys serious about this? I know that Everest has become... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=932
the roman numerals make bible ii look pretty tuff! i mean tough!	God: SO YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY CLIMBED MOUNT EVEREST THE TALLEST MOUNTAIN IN THE WORLD HUH / T-Rex: Yep! / God: HOW WAS IT / T-Rex: . . . Tall? / God: T-REX THAT IS THE WORST ANSWER THAT HAS EVER BEEN GIVEN TO THAT QUESTION / God: I SAY THIS AS GOD AND TRULY WITHOUT HYPERBOLE / T-Rex: Whatever, man! It WAS tall.... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=933
the probable suckiness of the bible iii stands in marked contrast to the space quest series, in which ...	God: T-REX BIBLE II IS OUT NOW / T-Rex: I'm not buying one! / God: IT IS CHOCK FULL OF TWIST ENDINGS / God: PLURAL / God: TWIST ENDINGS / T-Rex: Dude! I'm not buying a book where you insult me! / God: I DON'T INSULT YOU I JUST JOSH YOU A LITTLE COME ON I EVEN DEDICATED THE BOOK TO YOU / T-Rex: You - you... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=934

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