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| live every day like it's your last OKAY | T-Rex: "Live every day like it's your last." How hard could it be? / Narrator: LATER:
/ T-Rex: Upon closer inspection, forget THAT noise! / T-Rex: I'm not going to live my life according to a dumb clich? saying, and anyway, IF I DID, it would be ridiculous because I'd either end up spending each day... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=755 |
| later: economic ruin | T-Rex: I will become rich and famous by becoming the world's best baker. My flagship product will be brilliant! It will be rich, delicious, low-fat... / T-Rex: ...gender rolls! / T-Rex: Hee hee! Get it , Dromiceiomimus? They're rolls, like bun rolls, but also GENDER rolls!
/ Dromiceiomimus: So they're... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=756 |
| t-rex has a telling analogy for relationship problems in panel 1 | T-Rex: I have started a radio show! It is an advice show. People can call me and I will give them advice on all of their problems, from being locked out of their house to being EMOTIONALLY locked out of their house in a RELATIONSHIP. / T-Rex: I call it, "I Know! I'll Ask T-Rex About My Stupid Problems!" / Dromiceiomomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=757 |
| 4:59 | Devil: GREETINGS T-REX ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH SPEED RUNS
/ T-rex: Only in the drug slang sense, which I'm probably inventing right now! / T-rex: Is it when people do a lot of "speed" and then run around? / Devil: NEGATIVE IT IS MORE ACCURATELY WHEN ONE BESTS A VIDEO GAME IN THE SMALLEST POSSIBLE TIME
/ Devil:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=758 |
| MORAL: If you are in trouble with someone, you could probably do worse that prepare them dinner? | T-Rex: There are some phrases, usually joined by "and" or "or", that we always say the same way even though it would make logical sense to say them another way. For example: "I am sick and tired of these phrases!" / T-Rex: Or am I merely... TIRED AND SICK of them? / T-Rex: Eh, Dromiceiomimus? Pretty... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=759 |
| yeah so this is why i don't write action movies anymore | T-Rex: Sleeping with the window open: second best thing ever? / T-Rex: OR, absolutely the BEST thing ever?? / Dromiceiomimus: Man, you must really like sleeping with the window open,T-Rex!
/ T-Rex: Sure do! I love getting a fresh breeze on my face and smelling the dew on the grass or whatever that... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=760 |
| the big nice day party | T-Rex: Man - it's a totally awesome day today! And it will probably be a totally awesome evening too, and perhaps even a totally awesome night. / T-Rex: Yes, today is looking up! / Dromeceiomimus: It is indeed the first really nice day of spring, T-Rex!
/ T-Rex: You know what? We should have a party... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=761 |
| how did i get 700 comics in without ever using 'viz.' before. | T-REX IN: "FLOWERS IN RELATIONSHIPS"
/ T-Rex: I am against giving your sweetie flowers when you are in a relationship. Oh God! Think of the symbolism! / T-Rex: The horrible symbolism! / Dromiceiomimus: What symbolism? They just show that you care!
/ T-Rex: No way! They represent AFFECTION, right? They... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=762 |
| does today truly mark the day all my fake lesbian friends start getting called 'sweeps week'? | T-Rex: Here are some of the worst things I've ever done by accident! ACCIDENT ONE: slapped someone right in the face! / T-Rex: Kapow! / Dromiceiomimus: How was that an accident?
/ T-Rex: I didn't see them there, that's all!
/ Dromiceiomimus: And - what? You were just slapping the space around you to... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=763 |
| man! what's the deal? | T-Rex: Primitivism is the artistic and cultural idea that prehistorical and tribal societies were, and are, better that modern societies. / T-Rex: Okay guys! Whatever! / T-Rex: The trouble I have with primitivism is the half-assed way it's always evoked: it's this simplified idea of "primitive" cultures,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=764 |
| AN APOLOGY TO FURRIES: sorry i don't draw my female dinosaurs with knockers | T-Rex: I wonder what it's like, being an attractive woman. Would I be tired of guys coming up and talking to me just because I'm pretty? Or would I rather find it flattering? / Narrator: WHAT IF T-REX WERE A CHICK COMICS / Dromiceiomimus: You'd also have to deal with sexual prejudice, T-Rex! All... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=765 |
| CONFESSION CORNER: i am a dude who will probably never get a real chance to shout "hold the front page!", ... | T-Rex: Zombies! Everyone loves zombies. They are a window onto the Other! They let us face our fears of society in a way that is accessible and compelling, as well as accessibly and compellingly cannibalistic! / God: HEY T-REX CAN YOU SUMMARIZE THAT IN ONE SENTENCE FOR ME
/ T-Rex: T-Rex loves zombies! / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=766 |
| I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO FASCINATED BY ANOTHER PERSON'S PET. | T-Rex: Occam's razor is a principle of simplicity! It says that one should always choose the simplest explanation for something, when given a choice between competing theories of different complexity. / Narrator: OCCAM'S RAZOR COMICS / T-Rex: Anyway, yeah!
/ T-Rex: It makes sense! / Utahraptor: That's... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=767 |
| a comic with shouts out to both the cradle of civilization and the MRCA but no mitochondrial eve, hol... | T-Rex: Time to go back in time and visit the CRADLE OF CIVILIZATION. / Narrator: SOON: THE PAST?
/ T-Rex: Radical! / T-Rex: Wait, Dromiceiomimus? What are you doing here? I was trying to go back in time to visit the CRADLE OF CIVILIZATION.
/ Dromiceiomimus: And what, screw things up? You'd probably end... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=768 |
| t-rex came up with the phrase in grade 2, and you have to say it out loud. they're ghost pubes or something, ... | T-Rex: I have a new philosophy which is terrible AND compelling – arguably, the best kind of philosophy! Okay, so! Some dudes are stronger and/or smarter than other dudes, right? / T-Rex: Right! There are some tough and smart dudes! / T-Rex: BUT, none of them are so tough or so smart as to not... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=769 |
| hey so um how about that cultural obsession with true love huh | T-Rex: Here's something that I, T-Rex the talking dinosaur, have trouble believing in: true love! / Narrator: T-REX AND FRIENDS DISCUSS: TR? L?V / T-Rex: The problem I have is that so many people claim to have found if, but the odds that you'd ever meet that one person AND that they'd be available,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=770 |
| Being Tall | T-Rex: Being tall in a world designed for average people can be sucky sometimes! / T-Rex: On account of the occasional back pain, that is! / Dromiceiomimus: Whoa, you get back pain? Mr. "I'm So Tough I Barely Miss Having Feelings?"
/ T-Rex: Sometimes! Only when I do the dishes. It's just because the... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=771 |
| based, it would seem, on an embarrassing true story | T-Rex: Is it possible to imagine something SO INSANELY DISGUSTING that I actually, physically, throw up? Is my imagination that powerful? / T-Rex: I actually don't think I ever want to find out! / Narrator: LATER:
/ T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, do you ever approach something new, and sort of decide if you... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=772 |
| dude kinda undermines himself in panel 5 | T-Rex: SOCIoLOGICAL THEORY: We, as a people, have lost the "big picture", worrying more about problems at home than problems that affect us on a planetary scale! We have lost a sense of global purpose. And I have proof! / T-Rex: Proof in the form of lyrics from POPULAR MUSIC, baby! / Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=773 |
| in panel 4, the author reminds himself of some important Dinosaur Facts. | [[T-Rex's dialog is in a thought bubble]]
/ T-Rex: People probably find sleeping in the fetal position comfortable because it reminds them of the womb / T-Rex: Wait, I'm a brilliant psychologist! ALL COMFORT COMES FROM THE WOMB! / T-Rex: People find hugs comforting because it reminds them of the tight... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=774 |
| crazy utahraptor! how did your crazy ass get in here? | T-Rex: I don't want anything bad to happen to my friends! I don't want anything bad to happen to people who aren't my friends either, but I don't want anything bad to happen to my friends IN PARTICULAR. / Narrator: T-REX, UTAHRAPTOR AND DROMICEIOMIMUS STAR IN: COMICS! / T-Rex: The odds are that SOMEONE... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=775 |
| robbing a cartoon bank runs the risk of sending you to cartoon jail, where you are legally obliged to ... | T-Rex: I've come up with the best idea ever! Oh my goodness. LAUNDRY BAGS WITH GIANT GREEN DOLLAR SIGNS ON THEM. Hah hah! Am I robbing a bank in a cartoon or am I doing my laundry? / T-Rex: IT IS DIFFICULT TO TELL! / Dromiceiomimus: Are you planning to sell these bags to people who want to turn every... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=776 |
| telling secrets about all your friends and deities comics! | T-Rex: Utahraptor is afraid of ghosts! / T-Rex: Hah hah hah! Spoooooky! / T-Rex: Utahraptor is afraid of ghosts and his favourite song is "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers.
/ Dromiceiomimus: I never knew that about him!
/ T-Rex: It's true! He also bakes way too many cookies whenever he's baking treats and... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=777 |
| t-rex actually has been talking to the devil. he stole this idea from the devil. i - i stole this idea ... | T-Rex: Wouldn't it be totally neat if life was more like a text-based adventure game? / T-Rex: "You look around and see that the answer is yes!" / T-Rex: It'd be great because people would have solid goals - nobody would be left wondering what to do with their lives!
/ Dromiceiomimus: But everyone would... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=778 |
| unfortunately, 'new bike day' does not actually exist in the real world. if it did, it would be today, ... | T-Rex: New bike day is when everybody gets new bikes! / Narrator: NEW BIKE DAY
/ T-Rex: Woo! New bike day! / T-Rex: And then, after we all get the new bikes, do you know what happens?
/ Dromiceiomimus: What happens?
/ T-Rex: What happens is we all receive gold medals for having such nice bikes! / Narrator:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=779 |
| they say this cat is a bad mother / shut your mouth! | T-REX: I FEEL LIKE I DON'T REALLY HAVE A SOLID OPINION ON THE REALLY BIG INTERNATIONAL ISSUES. THERE'S SO MUCH TO THEM - SO MUCH NUANCE! HOW CAN I HAVE A DEFENSIBLE OPINION ON SOMETHING I DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND? / T-REX: HOWEVER! I DO HAVE MANY UNSOLICITED OPINIONS ON SMALLER, LOCAL ISSUES! / T-REX:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=780 |
| the last panel raises a lot of questions about dreamland that i'm not comfortable in answering, or even ... | T-Rex: Who here had a series of dreams last night where they were back in school and missing assignments? The answer: me, T-Rex! / Narrator: T-REX HAD SOME CRAZY DREAMS LAST NIGHT AND HEY, HE'S STILL TALKING ABOUT THEM / T-Rex: It was nuts! I never had such a stereotypical dream before. I got in an... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=781 |
| my name is ryan north and i write comics about dinosaurs beating up farmstock. | T-Rex: I had the weirdest dream last night. Again! Two nights of memorable dreams in a ro: A NEW PERSONAL BEST. / T-Rex: I dreamt I was a cockfighter! / T-Rex Only, I wasn't a regular cockfighter, who battles his animals against those of an opponent. It was with turkeys instead of chickens, and... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=782 |
| sign my guestbook view my guestbook!!! | T-Rex: I am a dude with a lot of OPINIONS. Sexy opinions? / T-Rex: Hells yes! / T-Rex: But ALSO, all sorts of opinions, including the UNSEXY. Give me a subject, Dromiceiomimus, and I'll demonstrate!
/ Dromiceiomimus: Okay - lemons!
/ T-Rex: I am for them! Citrus is INSANE!
/ Dromiceiomimus: Premarital... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=783 |
| I regret nothing but my lack of regrets!! | T-Rex: Am I doing the right thing with my life? What if what I'm doing with my time is actually something I will one day regret? What I NEED is some way to measure regret for every action and career path. / Narrator: TWO SECONDS LATER:
/ T-Rex: Done and DONE! / T-Rex: All I'll need to do is ask old... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=784 |
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