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| "neutron" is a shout out to "neutron dance" by the pointer sisters. you may have heard this song in ... | T-Rex: How come it's not cool to have stories with morals at the end anymore? Are we too ironic and cool to appreciate a story that, you know, just straight-out tells you what to believe? / T-Rex: Seriously! How come? / T-Rex: I liked it when you read a story and you knew that at the end, the moral... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=785 |
| nobody say love | T-Rex: I wonder: what's the strongest emotion? What's the most powerful emotional experience I can look forward to? / T-Rex: NOBODY SAY LOVE! / T-Rex: Love isn't allowed because it's TOO OBVIOUS. What's the strongest non-love emotion, Dromiceiomimus?
/ Dromiceiomimus: Hate?
/ T-Rex: Okay, hate isn't... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=786 |
| t-rex almost said "as a timeline" instead of "as a people" in panel 2, but that would have been distracting, ... | T-Rex: It's been what - four thousand years of civilization? Five thousand? How come we haven't solved all the problems and answered all the questions? / T-Rex: I think, as a people, we have kind of dropped the ball! / T-Rex: Seriously! I can't think of any revolutionary philosophical discoveries... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=787 |
| come on. dromiceiomimus was most likely already late to the dentist to begin with. | Narrator: TRYING TO DISCOVER AN ESSENTIAL TRUTH:
/ T-Rex: I have had a revelation! I am wasting my time trying to discover one ultimate essential truth, when really I should be looking for essential truths, plural! / Narrator: T-REX THE DINOSAUR IN: ESSENTIAL TRUTHS, PLURAL / T-Rex: What's true for... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=788 |
| shouts out to the swedish rhapsody numbers station | T-Rex: I have gained provisional access to a shortwave radio! Last night I was flipping around and discovered a NUMBERS STATION. Question: how excellent is that? / T-Rex: Answer: TOTALLY EXCELLENT?? / T-Rex: If you're unfamiliar with them, Dromiceiomimus, number stations are radio stations that play... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=789 |
| the new face of war | T-Rex: I have come up with a perfect way not to believe in anything wrong ever again. Evidentialism / T-Rex: A belief is justified only if there is sufficient evidence to support it! / T-Rex: Therefore, I won't believe in things like faith healing, because there's no room for faith in evidentialism!... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=790 |
| vampire DAY raises more questions than it answers | T-Rex: The worst part of owning a cape is having to find excuses to wear it. / Narrator: T-REX HAS A CAPE
/ Narrator: LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS / T-Rex: Luckily, I am just the dude to manufacture such excuses! I have the perfect plan. Since it sucks to be the only dude in the room wearing a cape, I will... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=791 |
| naturalistic pantheism comics! featuring god as himself! | T-Rex: Pantheism is the belief that everything, the entire universe, is literally God!
/ God: WHAT / T-Rex: Like I said! The universe and God are the exact same thing! / T-Rex: We all get to be divine, Dromiceiomimus! Better, everything I do is an act of God! Right now, THIS aspect of God wants to stomp... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=792 |
| if you think choosing a job based on its sexual attractiveness is a good idea, then have i got a comic ... | Narrator: THE SEXIEST JOB COMPETITION:
/ T-Rex: The sexiest job competition is tasked with finding out who has the sexiest job. We must begin! / Narrator: BEING T-REX:
/ T-Rex: Congratulations self! You are our leading candidate! / Narrator: GUY WHO GIVES OUT PARKING TICKETS AND IS REALLY KIND OF A JERK... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=793 |
| men! i'm out of tips!! | Narrator: TIPS FOR MEN
/ T-Rex: Attention Men! Are you a man? Here are some tips! / T-Rex: Tip 1: Grooming is important! / T-Rex: This means that you have to shower and if you always wake up with food on your face then you have to understand that you have a problem. We all have problems, but yours... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=794 |
| i'd like to see THAT | DINOSAUR COMICS PRESENTS: "A LOG ON THE HEAD"
/ T-Rex: I have a friend who was hit with a 40 pound log on the head. She might have a concussion? / T-Rex: What's the deal with THAT? / T-Rex: What's the deal, logs?
/ THE END / "A TIME FOR CONCERN"
/ Utahraptor: Hey, is your friend alright?
/ T-Rex: Yeah,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=795 |
| but seriously folks, there's nothing wrong with being dumb for bananas. they may well be dumb for you ... | T-Rex: I think that comedy goes bad after a while! I don't think I've EVER laughed at a joke that's more than two hundred years old. / T-Rex: Screw you, comedy! / T-Rex: It's not just that jokes get dated, but that whole standards for comedy shift, I think. Stuff that was edgy fifty years ago is... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=796 |
| hippocleides doesn't care! | T-Rex: Okay, so perhaps there ARE those who find old jokes in old books to be hilarious, and we just happen to have different senses of humour! IT MAY HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE TO GENERALIZE ACROSS EVERY LIVING THING THAT CAN LAUGH, AND ALSO READ. / T-Rex: This I do concede! / T-Rex: But, I still think that... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=797 |
| annnnnnna bennnnnnson..... dot net | T-Rex: Man! What is the DEAL with triflin' friends indeed? / T-Rex: They appear to reliably take my money when I'm in need! / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus! Here's a crazy question. Would you say that YOU are a triflin' friend indeed?
/ Dromiceiomimus: I would not, T-Rex! I would not. I'm not triflin'!
/ T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=798 |
| i peeked in high school | T-Rex: What if this is the high point of my life? What if it's all downhill from here?! That sucks! / T-Rex: For me!! / T-Rex: I kind of hoped I might go a bit further than this in life, but then again, maybe not. It's entirely possible that this, right here, is as far as I go. In 10 years I could... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=799 |
| t-rex is a friend to all the children | NARRATOR: VISITING OLD FRIENDS COMICS / T-Rex: Hooray for visiting old friends! / T-Rex: Old friends are the best kind of friends because you still get along really well, even though you maybe haven't seen each other for a long time. It is a time for healthy nostalgia and for talking of tomorrow!
/ Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=800 |
| wikipedia says there's like 80 emotions on its 'list of emotions' page, but wikipedia's just some guy ... | God: HEY T-REX HOW MANY EMOTIONS ARE THERE
/ T-Rex: How many emotions are there?? I can think of at least three. / T-Rex: Desire, elation, and rage! / God: YOUR LIST OF EMOTIONS IS A SHORT STORY HUH
/ T-Rex: Yep! It's about a woman who desires something, then gets it and is pretty elated about the whole... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=801 |
| MORAL: if you are faced with something that doesn't seem to have a desirable solution, maybe try adding ... | T-Rex: Has this strapping young dinosaur perhaps become a little... COMPLACENT? / T-Rex: It's time to go traveling! / T-Rex: This is because travel beats complacency if you do it right! When you're traveling as a backpacker, outside of the regular tourism industry, you're off the beaten path AND doing... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=802 |
| it seems that, once again, i have become privy to the private talk of dudes | T-Rex: Hey! Hey Utahraptor! Do - do you think that some guys go to liquor stores to pick up chicks because they know everyone there is over 18?
/ T-Rex: Or at least - / T-Rex: - willing to pretend? / Dromiceiomimus: Hah! Aw! That's terrible, T-Rex!
/ T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, what are YOU doing here? I... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=803 |
| punch as if nobody's going to get hurt, sleep as if nobody's going to get any rest, laugh as if nobody's ... | T-Rex: Man, forget television, books, films, short films, to a lesser extent plays and other theatre, and the remaining popular media! They have cheapened emotion by putting it on constant display. / T-Rex: This I do believe! / T-Rex: Maybe "cheapened" is too strong a word, but it's now - routine?... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=804 |
| this was going to be a comic about how people nowadays seem unable to accept that you can write a fictional ... | T-Rex: I am writing the best story ever! In it, I simply APPROPRIATE a popular novel, and then place its author in a generalized version of its premise! THEN, the author has eerily familiar, but thoroughly modernized,adventures. / T-Rex: So, it's like, H.G. Wells actually has a time machine that he... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=805 |
| the implication in panel 5, and i do stand by it, is that if you have access to a time machine, you have ... | T-Rex: Edgar Allan Poe, I have things to do today! We can't hang out the entire time.
/ Edgar Allan Poe: I don't want to hang out the ENTIRE time, T-Rex, I just want quality time when we DO hang out. I need quality, not just quantity! / T-Rex: Edgar Allan Poe! You are so needy. / Edgar Allan Poe: When... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=806 |
| t-rex said something yesterday that he regrets, so he resolved NEVER TO SAY ANYTHING EVER AGAIN, and ... | T-Rex: Today is a good day I think for keeping all my wicked sweet opinions to myself! I will keep my own counsel. / T-Rex: *gasp* / Narrator: the end / Narrator: LATER:
/ Utahraptor: Hey T-Rex, what's up? You seem kinda - silent!
/ T-Rex: That's because I am! / T-Rex: I am keeping all my awesome rad... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=807 |
| people 'in the biz' sometimes rather cheekily refer to helicopters as 'copters' | T-Rex: I am PRETTY SURE that I could be a pretty great soccer player if I really tried to be! I just haven't explored it! It's probably one of my many / Narrator: HIDDEN TALENTS / T-Rex: I'm probably ALSO really good at surfing, stand up comedy, cross-stitching and helicopter theft! I just haven't... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=808 |
| utahraptor knows that they're green | Narrator: A CAUTIONARY TALE FOR ALL THE CHILDREN
/ T-Rex: Gosh, am I the ultimate friend? I am supportive and a good listener! I do favours and care and keep track of everything that's going on in my friends' lives. / T-Rex: T-REX: THE ULTIMATE FRIEND? / Dromiceiomimus: You're a good friend, T-Rex,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=809 |
| the heartbreaking thing that everyone knows but that nobody talks about is that zach was a GREAT guy ... | T-Rex: Today I am going to try to be a better friend. I will tell secrets, as secrets are one of the MANY currencies of friendship! I will also listen to what my friends have to say, and then make helpful comments that solve every one of their problems! / T-Rex: EVERY
/ T-Rex: SINGLE
/ T-Rex: ONE. / Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=810 |
| the heartbreaking thing that everyone knows but that nobody talks about is that zach was a GREAT guy ... | T-Rex: Today I am going to try to be a better friend. I will tell secrets, as secrets are one of the MANY currencies of friendship! I will also listen to what my friends have to say, and then make helpful comments that solve every one of their problems! / T-Rex: EVERY
/ T-Rex: SINGLE
/ T-Rex: ONE. / Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=810 |
| k-ray-zed, t-rex? what? | T-Rex: I wonder, what's the craziest way to spell "crazy"? / T-Rex: My suggestion: "K-RAY-Z"! / Dromiceiomimus: That's pretty crazy, T-Rex, but what about... "CHRA-HAY-ZEE"?
/ T-Rex: That's totally crazy!
/ Dromiceiomimus: I know!
/ T-Rex: That's why I like it. / Utahraptor: What about "Quai-Zhi"?
/ T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=811 |
| alternate panel 2: i love you, t-rex! / i've got my own problems! | Narrator: CONVERSATIONAL TECHNIQUES COMICS today's technique: "I'VE GOT MY OWN PROBLEMS" / Narrator: A POWERFUL TECHNIQUE IN ANY SITUATION:
/ Off-Panel: Do YOU want eggs?
/ T-Rex: I've got my own problems! / Narrator: A WAY TO COMMUNICATE YOUR PRIVILEGING OF SELF INTEREST!
/ Dromiceiomimus: Hey T-Rex,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=812 |
| if you were clever you could call it 'casino evil' because there's a hilarious pun involved! HILARIO... | T-Rex: I have come up with the worst idea aver, and it's so simple. All you have to do is combine online gambling with online role playing games! / T-Rex: The result will be a game to RUIN LIVES! / T-Rex: MMORPGs are already really popular and addictive - some people play them upwards of eight hours... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=813 |
| if you were clever you could call it 'casino evil' because there's a hilarious pun involved! HILARIO... | T-Rex: I have come up with the worst idea aver, and it's so simple. All you have to do is combine online gambling with online role playing games! / T-Rex: The result will be a game to RUIN LIVES! / T-Rex: MMORPGs are already really popular and addictive - some people play them upwards of eight hours... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=813 |
| 'whoah! this dog's got breasts!': an all-purpose expression of surprise for the new generation | Narrator: THINGS WOMEN LOVE:
/ T-Rex: I know all sorts of things women love! For example: women LOVE IT when you dismiss them in arguments by saying "Whoah! This kitten's got claws!" / God: ACTUALLY NOBODY LOVES IT WHEN YOU SAY THAT T-REX
/ T-Rex: No way dude! / T-Rex: It's hilarious! It's IRONIC, because... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=814 |
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