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| From The Desk Of . Site Launch Announcement | Site launch is 17 March 2003. / Come back then to meet the cast! http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030315.html |
| From The Desk Of . Rearview Mirror | looking in the rearview mirror / [[rearview mirror with college sticker showing in back windshield]] / I used to see my past / [[rearview mirror with children's heads and carseats]] / now I see my future / {{As a parent of small kids I am habitually looking through the rearview mirror to see who... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030317.html |
| From The Desk Of . Fin du Monde | Probably my coolest beer glass is from a pub in Montreal. The beer was called La Fin du Monde, or "The End of the World" for you non-French readers. The problem is that despite its cool name and graphic (Quebec?) it is not a highly functional glass. It's a goblet with a very short stem, forcing your... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030318.html |
| From The Desk Of . Russian Notebook | I was waiting in line at the grocery store office. There was a young Russian couple in front of me. I write Russian because the young lady wrote her name, address and 01 phone number on a sheet in a spiral notebook. Above her name were other Russian names and addresses and phone numbers. / When it was... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030319.html |
| From The Desk Of . Wang | While I was sick I had a recurring dream that Charles Wang, one of the richest CEOs in the US, had so much money that he held a private Gong Show in his office for his personal amusement. Only his name was Wayne Wang in my dream. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030321.html |
| From The Desk Of . English Economy | ENGLISH: Napoleon wore a black hat are lots of chicken and conquered half Eurpoe. / FRENCH: {{ something }} / SPANISH: {{ something }} / GERMAN: {{ something }} / The English language offers a pleasant economy of words. Fifty percent more words are required to explain the same information in most... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030325.html |
| From The Desk Of . Bernie Mac | [[Yahoo news page obscured by an ad for the Bernie Mac show]] / My awareness of the next Bernie Mac show is equalled only by my lack of interest in it. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030326.html |
| From The Desk Of . Scoot Lola Scoot | She might have picked up some speed, but somehow I think it would have lost something if it were named "Scoot, Lola, Scoot." / {{I can't help but thinking of revising a lot of movies: "If only he had a cell phone..."}} http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030407.html |
| From The Desk Of . Failed Jeans | obsequios
/ weiner shrink
/ seņor itchy
/ lace-up fly
/ cruel fit
/ fancy pants
/ long left leg
/ pre-soiled
/ toughskins
/ fish washed / examples of failed jean names http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030430.html |
| From The Desk Of . Nose Toilet | If boogers smelled really bad someone would probably have to invent a nose toilet. That would suck. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030502.html |
| From The Desk Of . Kobe | [[steer is getting a massage]]
/ Steer: A little more toward the tenderloin... Ooh, right there. / I read that Japanese Kobe cattle are raised on beer and daily massages. Sounds like a nice life if it weren't for the slaughtering part at the end. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030521.html |
| From The Desk Of . Reality TV | [[midgets pulling an airplane]] / My Reality has become so absorbing that the streets, the television, and the journals have confiscated the public interest and people are no longer thirsty for culture on a higher level. - Andre Plesu / {{I used to call Jon every time I felt that a new reality show... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030522.html |
| From The Desk Of . The Bittersons | The Bittersons
/ [[husband and wife sitting up in bed]] / Wife: Say something nice to me. / Husband: I hate myself more than I hate you. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030527.html |
| From The Desk Of . Oversized Bowl | [[bowl]] / [[bowl filled with Kellogg'sŪ Mini-WheatsŪ Frosted Original]]
/ She noticed he always filled his cereal bowl to overflowing. / [[oversized bowl]]
/ So she bought him an oversized bowl, partly as a joke. / [[oversized bowl filled with General MillsŪ Golden GrahamsŪ]]
/ She didn't know it was... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030604.html |
| From The Desk Of . Junkie Vacation | Pusher: Smack?
/ Junkie: Hazel?
/ Pusher: Horse?
/ Junkie: Mud?
/ Pusher: Junk?
/ Junkie: Brown Sugar?
/ Pusher: Skag? / It's gotta suck when you're a junkie on vacation and you don't know the local street terms for your drugs. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030610.html |
| From The Desk Of . Rolf | Rolf on TV: Einer dieser Tage... Einer dieser Tage... KRIEGSGEFANGEN! Rect in Ihrem kisser! / In Frankfurt, the Great One will always be remembered as Rolf Kramden. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030616.html |
| From The Desk Of . Surname | Until the Gods of Spring have shone their faces upon us, I have fashined these hand sheathes from goat skin...
/ THEN YE SHALL BE KNOWN AS: GLOVER / I am skilled in the ways of equally distributing the last piece of pie into two...
/ THEN YE SHALL BE KNOWN AS: HAVENER / I brought cheap wine...
/ THEN... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030617.html |
| From The Desk Of . Roker | ... neck of the woods. Here's what's happening in your neck of the woods. Here's... / In another dream I am talking to the audience outside the Today show studio, but they all look like Al Roker and I can only repeat the same phrase over and over again. / {{I used to always be bothered by Al Roker's... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030708.html |
| From The Desk Of . Beltway | I get pretty tired of hearing pundits describing the actions of the federal government as coming from "inside the beltway" as if everyone inside this strip of pavement is a federal worker in lock step with the current set of politicians and everyone outside is innocent and gullible. / outsiders: Well,... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030722.html |
| From The Desk Of . Constellations | the gnats / the stars / the sun / sceptre of Zeus / the musicians / Some less popular constellations. / {{You ain't nothing but a tambourine player in the sky.}} http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030725.html |
| From The Desk Of . Sponsorships | [[Bill Thomas (R-CA) and Richard A. Gephardt (D-MO) shaking hands and wearing suits covered in business logos including: AFLAC, AOL, SBC, AHA, Disney, Realtor, Anheuser Busch, Allergan, Boeing, Merck, AMA, etc.]] / Taking a cue from NASCAR, politicians should be required to display their sponsorships... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030813.html |
| From The Desk Of . Homepage of the Soul | [check abend log, get a smoke]
/ [only eleven 78s were produced during Johnson's lifetime]
/ [Anon the kynge bothe feree and jelle]
/ [puppies are better, no kitties are] / If you could see the font people thought in, you could read the homepage of their soul. / {How much do fonts represent us? Probably... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030814.html |
| From The Desk Of . Name Calling | 1950s
/ Greaser!
/ Square! / 1960s
/ Conformist!
/ Hippie! / 1970s
/ Punk!
/ Preppie! / 1980s
/ Slacker!
/ Yuppie! / 1990s
/ Granola!
/ Elitist! / 2000s
/ Queer!
/ Breeder! / Evolution of name calling. / {{It's nice how things come full circle, isn't it? All characters have perfect bobblehead proportions... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030818.html |
| From The Desk Of . What's His Name | First guy: Hey, who's that guy over there?
/ Second guy: You mean Bob?
/ First guy: No, I know Bob. The guy with the sleeves.
/ Second guy: You're thinking of Bob from the mill. That guy is Bob from the red house.
/ First guy: I thought Ray lived in the red house.
/ Second guy: No, no. I'm talking the dark... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030908.html |
| From The Desk Of . Hook Hand | The cool thing about having a hook hand is that it's easy to remove those Tyvek security bracelets. / The bad thing is waking up in the middle of the night with an itch and forgetting you have a hook hand. / {{In case you aren't familiar with them, Tyvek is often used for making "unbreakable" bracelets... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030923.html |
| From The Desk Of . Grammarian | The continual adventures of the least understood and most despised superhero of all time: THE GRAMMARIAN / [[woman lying in the middle of the street, Grammarian flying overhead]]
/ {{Thrown from the car, he saw her lying there.}}
/ Grammarian: Watch your modifier! Who was thrown? Also, the introduction... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030925.html |
| From The Desk Of . Rorschach | [[Mrs. Rorschach looking at a sheet of paper over a despondent Hermann Rorschach who is at his desk with a pen]] / Mrs. Rorschach: Hermann, I like das cartoon mit die fox's head.
/ Rorschach: Nein, is a jack-o'-lantern. / Rorschach was less successful as a cartoonist in his later years. / {{Even the... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20030926.html |
| From The Desk Of . New Underwear | Another thing you can't explain to women is why we don't like new underwear. / Guy [[standing in front of an urinal]]: It's gotta be here somewhere. / If you get a new model or manufacturer you run the chance that the front opening is in a slightly different place or, more likely, a different angle. / And... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20031010.html |
| From The Desk Of . Chicken Universe | [[anthropromorphic rooster at breakfast table reading the morning news, hen behind the counter cleaning a dish]] / Rooster: Don't get me wrong, I'm very pleased that we dominate the humans in this alternate universe. I just wish their eggs were bigger. / {{Is it gross to think about chickens eating... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20031016.html |
| From The Desk Of . Presidential Seal | [[new seal of the President of the United States in background showing eagle with rotten carrots in one talon and a large stick with nails in the other one, motto above reads "DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS"]] / Bush: Don't get me wrong, I like the new seal. I just would like to see the club a little bigger. / Nerd:... http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20031017.html |