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| From The Desk Of . Idiot Talk | [[Dad is holding plates with waffles in the foreground, two boys are eagerly awaiting breakfast in the background]] / Dad: Mmm. Waffles! These are yummy!! / The wife has assured me that when the kids grow up I will probably stop talking like an idiot to them. / {{I don't think I talk in the "excited about waffles" voice anywhere but in front of the kids. Please let me know if you catch me doing that.}} http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20031021.html |
| From The Desk Of . California Deli | [[Schwarzenegger with an apron standing behind a salad scale which is weighing a squished styrofoam box under a cinderblock. Callouts indicate that the squished salad represents campaign promises and the cinderblock is state debt. Sign below the "California Deli" logo indicates that it is under new management.]] / Schwarzenegger: No free lunch. / {{I've always wanted to do a political cartoon with callouts describing a metaphor. I ended up leaving out the customer because I wanted Arnold to be more prominent.}} http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20031022.html |
| From The Desk Of . Smite Clubbe | Thy first rule of Smite Clubbe is
/ Thou Shalt not divulge its Name. / [[three Elizabethian guys with torn dress, cuts and scrapes]] / {{I was hoping to find some source pictures of Elizabethans with silly hats. I didn't, so I stuck with the puffy short pants.}} http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20031126.html |
| From The Desk Of . Personal Chopper | [[miniature helicopter hovers over futuristic hovercraft]] / Chopper: Looks like bumper to bumper all the way down to the Olsen twin towers. And now a word from our sponsor... / In the future we will all have unmanned personal traffic choppers. They will give us immediate news about just how bad the traffic is in the future. / {{I was thinking it would be cool to have your own drone chopper to report personalized traffic reports. But knowing how things are, the benefits would be outweighed by the personalized ads, increased traffic, etc.}} http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20031128.html |
| From The Desk Of . Star Trek Trivia | From The Desk Of presents Star Trek Trivia / Only on the original Star Trek were there unionized workers. / [[ensigns, medical and engineers protesting in hallway with signs: UNFAIR, Longer Skirts!, Space Time My Ass, Ensign Power, I'm a Doctor, Jim]] / Changes were made when Bones leaked that Kirk used the space-time continuum theory to support a fourteen hour workday. / {{Seriously, who really believed the whole "star date" thing? When you are zipping through space (and sometimes time) what reference do you have to determine time? Greenwich?}} http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20031201.html |
| From The Desk Of . Guy Things | When my wife went out of town for a few days she made a list of my friends and their numbers for me. / The sad thing is that it really came in handy. / [[looking at paper in hand]] / Husband: Tell me again some "guy" things I can do.
/ Wife: Well...
/ Husband: Like getting coffee and shopping for kid's toys? Are those? / {{Part of my new series about the emasculation of the married, parental male. Unfortunately all too true.}} http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20031229.html |
| From The Desk Of . Driving Hypocrite | Why I am a complete hypocrite when I drive. / Other car going too fast.
/ Driver: Jerk. / Other car going too slow.
/ Driver: Jerk. / Other car going exact same speed as me.
/ Driver: Jerk. / {{I've always considered anyone driving either faster or slower than me to be a jerk and dangerous for some reason. I've come to realize that even someone driving exactly my speed would annoy me.}} http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20031230.html |
| From The Desk Of . Abbreviated Life | IUD
/ DOB
/ RR&R
/ ADHD
/ LD
/ GED
/ GI
/ AWOL
/ 5-10
/ 9-5
/ BS
/ RIF
/ 401K
/ MI
/ DNR
/ RIP / {{An innocent idea that turned out kind of depressing.}} http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20040205.html |
| From The Desk Of . Trek Timesheet | [[two Star Trek crew members sitting at a large counter with pens and sheets of paper; windows showing space, the final frontier in the background]] / Woman: How did you charge that time we whipped around the sun and went back to the 1930's?
/ Man: You need to use the three-dimensional form for that one. Do you know the reimbursal code for Corbomite? http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20040304.html |
| From The Desk Of . Used to be There | sign by razed ground: Coming Soon... TwinOaks / street sign on pavement: Babbling Brook Dr. and Meadow Farm Rd. / suburban house sign: 105 Dirt Road / obscured highway exit: Mountain View Next Exit / Tom Waits once said that America is the only country in the world that names places after what used to be there. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20040518.html |
| From The Desk Of . Writing Sample | In high school I used to pencil and paper to write research papers over 20 pages long in longhand. / In college I used my 8086 PC and DOS-based WordPerfect to write short stories and one act plays. / Now I use state-of-the-art graphics programs to write four panel cartoons. And I can't always fill the fourth panel. / [[blank]] / I don't know if my thoughts are getting shorter or if I'm just better at being more succinct. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20040722.html |
| From The Desk Of . It's You Babe | [[at a Styx concert, Dennis DeYoung is singing to strange outlined profiles in the foreground]] / You know it's you Babe
/ Whenever I get weary
/ and I've had enough
/ Feel like giving up / [[Dennis DeYoung is profiled, showing audience that includes Babe the Blue Ox, Babe Didrikson, Babe Ruth and Babe the pig.]] http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20040723.html |
| From The Desk Of . Last Man | [[three women and two men are on an elevator]] / Guy: (If I were the last man on Earth and I had to pick a woman on this elevator with which to start repopulating the Earth... / Guy: (I mean, I'd had no choice if humans were to roam the Earth again.) / [[woman with book exits]]
/ Guy: (I guess she's out.) / Troy: (Dude, how do people on an elevator end up being the last people on Earth?)
/ Guy: (How did you read my thought bubble?) http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20040730.html |
| From The Desk Of . Torturer Introduction | [[Bond tied to a chair, evil Boss in a Neru suit and another guy with a briefcase stand nearby]] / Boss: Mr. Bond, allow me to introduce you to the torturer, Leehon. / Bob: Sorry to interrupt, Boss, but my name is Bob. Bob Leehon. I prefer "Bob." / Boss: And I thought it was just Leehon--like Cher.
/ Bob: Actually, when I filled out the application I put my last name where the first was supposed to go. I was so embarrased, I just left out my first name. / [[chair is empty]]
/ Boss: Fine. Mr. Bond, this is Bob the torturer... Anyone see where Bond went? http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20040804.html |
| From The Desk Of . Torturer Forgot | [[Bond is tied to the chair]] / Boss: Mr. Bond, thank you for rejoining us. I think you remember Bob. / Boss: But what you probably don't know is that Bob has forgotten more about torture than you and I will ever know. / Bob: What does that mean?
/ Bond: Seriously. / Bond: Are you implying that Bob is forgetful?
/ Bob: I am so out of here! http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20040805.html |
| From The Desk Of . 1000 Moons | [[Sheena of the jungle standing among Maasai wariors.]] / Sheena: Now is the time to stand up and fight, my people. Remember the spirit of our ancestors, a thousand moons ago. / Warrior 1: [[aside]] Do you think she means for each moon to represent the passing of one day? If that's the case 1000 moons is about three years ago.
/ Warrior 2: She's not our brightest leader, but she sure fills out a loin skin well. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20040810.html |
| From The Desk Of . Well Good | Guy: Good morning, how are you? / Zach: (Let's see. Using proper grammar I should say "well" even if the incorrect "good" is accepted in spoken English. If I say "well" is he going to think I', pompous or just well educated...) / Zach: (Then again, maybe he's testing me. Maybe he knows "well" is the answer. Maybe he's baiting me to say "good" so he can say "well" when I ask him on the slip side.) / Zach: I don't know what you mean by that. / Zach is plagued by the question of when it is appropriate to speak colloquially. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20040827.html |
| From The Desk Of . Good Fall | in another dream I'm falling and I can't tell if it's a good fall or a bad fall / because all falls are pretty much good / until the landing part http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20040929.html |
| From The Desk Of . CSI Ride | Grissom: Judging by the rate of speed and friction of the underinflated tires, we can safely assume the driver did not come to a complete stop at that last stop sign. / Warrick: Trace amounts of burger wrappers, Grissom. / Sarah: The road map is over three years old, our vic is a very lazy man. / Man: This is the last time I'm giving you guys a ride. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20041005.html |
| From The Desk Of . New Afghan Cuisine | [[bald men who look vaguely like Martin Scorsese and Larry David enter a restarant called: New Afghan Cuisine]] / Martin Scorsese: lamb & chickpeas
/ Larry David: pumpkin / [[waiter and a woman bring the food and drinks]] / Woman: [[holding napkin to Martin Scorsese's mouth]] Let me get that itsy bitsy dribble.
/ Waiter: [[raising a spoon to Larry David's open mouth]] Here comes the Afghan Express! Choo Choo! / {{the men are being fed like babies and it turns out that the "New" in the name of the restaurant modifies the word "Afghan" and not the "Cuisine"}} http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20050307.html |
| From The Desk Of . Bad Mode | R9Q-3a: Hey, PF132! How's it going?
/ PF132: OK, I guess, R9Q-3a. / R9Q-3a: You wanna get a drink?
/ PF132: Um, not really. / R9Q-3a: Play some air hockey? Conquer humankind?
/ PF132: Thanks, no. / PF132: Sorry, I guess I'm just in a bad mode. / {{and here's a version for my robot audience}} / R9Q-3a: 010001010 011 010 1
/ PF132: 110 1001 1011 01 / R9Q-3a: 1001 1 01001 101 01 11
/ PF132: 10 11 001 00 / R9Q-3a: 010 10 110 11 0 010 11010 0101101 0110 1010 01
/ PF132: 01 0110 1010 10 / PF132: 10101 11 01 001 http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20050328.html |
| From The Desk Of . Oz Witches | the Wicked Witch of the East / the Good Witch of the North / the Wicked Witch of the West / TV: Next on Oprah...
/ the Indifferent Witch of the South http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20050329.html |
| From The Desk Of . Pope Smoke | [[tv screen with banner: Ronald Rogers Vatican City LIVE]] / Reporter: I'm not really sure, Ron. It looked like white smoke at first but now it appears to be somewhat gray or even a bit blackish. It's too bad this is all we have to go by at this time.
/ Ronald Rogers: We will shortly be turning to Gregory Proffit, a smoke expert from Washington University in St. Louis. / [[cardinal has his red cloak unbuttoned and is roasting a marshmallow in the Vatican wood stove]]
/ Cardinal: I've got Hersheys. Who has the Graham crackers? Cardinal Slowpoke? Looks like another burnt one. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20050425.html |
| From The Desk Of . Tattletale | Quincy: Tattletale--that has such a bad rap. I prefer to think of myself as a whistleblower. And, Berke started it. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20050504.html |
| From The Desk Of . Salad Bar | [[man getting salad]]
/ sign: Salad Bar $4.99 a lb. Watchout For The Bones / [[man approached by 50's looking gang in leather jackets and slicked back hair, back of one jacket says "The Bones," front of another says "T-Bone."]] http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20050511.html |
| From The Desk Of . Language Competition | First child: Hey Daddy, I can hum in French. Hmm hmm hmmm...
/ Second child: Daddy, I can count to ten in sign language. One, two...[[gestures with hand]] / First child: Now I'm humming in German. Hmm hmm hmmm.
/ Second child: ... three... [[gesturing with hand]] http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20050516.html |
| From The Desk Of . French Benefits | Manager: ... and finally this is where the break room is. I think you're gonna like the French benefits here.
/ New employee: I think you mean fringe benefits. Right? / Voice [[from inside the break room]]: Sacre bleu! The red wine--she is out! http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20050524.html |
| From The Desk Of . Dream Theatre | Sometimes in your dreams you think of someone you know but the dream character is all wrong. Also, their motivation is usually all wrong. / Director: OK, now you've lost your math book and you're naked but you're mostly worried about doing pull-ups in gym. Go! / and now I'm walking to the dance only instead of being 16 and akward, / It's hard to tell if it's a casting or direction issue. Who exactly casts these things? / I'm like a 34 year old Brad Pitt dating Angelina Jolie. Other than that--and the setting--it's completely accurate. / Except instead of a giant mansion it should be a townhouse. / And is there a limited cast of characters we all share? Maybe that's why we have so many stand-ins. http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20050525.html |
| From The Desk Of . Starbucks | [[child standing by fence]] / Child: Daddy, when I grow up will I be Venti© like you? / got to limit those trips to Starbucks http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20050601.html |
| From The Desk Of . Moses Practicing | [[Moses at rest]] / [[Moses with arms up, hair parted]] / Moses, practicing http://fromthedeskof.comicgenesis.com/d/20050606.html |