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Ah squad 128 About time you came up to see me / I've only been idling here to be able to watch you die / Joyce / Hey / Hey |
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Get your ship off my head / Get your head out of my spaceship / Two great tastes / Stop it / Storm him troops / BLAM BLAM BLAM / EEK EEK OOK EEK / If I had elbows I'd kill you / Oop |
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Look you crazies get off my monkey / Let Big Boss go / You know what Screw you / Monkey Master destroy Denver / With what Guns that shoot monkeys / I'm useless / Monkey Master destroy Denver / Whatever |
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Yes Monkey Master Destroy Denver Reveal ourselves to the humans / Then we have to stop him troops / At any cost / But Big Boss / You and Sal do what you can / Okay then / Bye / Bye / But I never / Afraid so Walkerton If we don't stop the head alien before we reach civilization / Danger / We get to be heroes |
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Okay now practice your rampaging monster face / Rarr / Good / Big Boss We're here to get you out / Sal / As much as I appreciate this we can't risk Monkey Master reaching Denver / Just set the charges and detonate them / Right |
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Joyce go tell Jason to detonate the bomb / But / Go / Why are you staying / Ah don't feel ah should leave you here alone sir / Sal get out of here Stop acting foolish / That's an order / Yes sir / Ah'm sorry |
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Sal says to set off the charges / Where is she / Still down there / Are we still gonna / Mike hold the bomb I need to retrieve Sal / If I'm not back in five / Seconds / Maybe I should hold that |
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Sal what are you doing down here / Ah almost compromised the mission / And so are you Detonate the bomb / Ah We must be strong no matter what / Yes that's true / If only you really believed that |
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Set the bomb / Is Sal coming / That's up to her / GNNGH / It's amazin' how Big Boss fit between them bars so easily / GUH / Be kind / Okay team dogpile on the girl with the jetpack |
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One more hill and humanity is upon us Mwahahaha / What of squad 128 / What about them / My field of vision isn't the greatest but I haven't seen them in a while / Nonsense Nothing can stop us now / What's that sound / BRAKOW |
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So / I wasn't going to leave you behind / I was 100% certain you would have come back and I was right / You know me that well huh / Two years ago I met you as a scared little high school girl You liked to hide it but I could see it under your skin / You wear many masks Sal but your core remains the same / Blast those SEMME fools / Just shut up |
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The martians had the most advanced technology in the galaxy And yet so much of it remains hidden elusive / Until now / They possessed remarkable scanning tools / The saucer's scanners are picking somethin' up chief / What What / The La Brea tarpits / That's it / Dude that place ruled in Last Action Hero / / Wow Your pop song was amazing Jalea / This is only the beginning In a few days she'll win a Grammy and we'll be set / You mean next year right / Next year Why not this year / We already missed the deadline for this year / Where would we be without unnecessary time travel / In newspapers |
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The martians had spaceships shaped like a duck / No but I've got a word in mind that sounds like it / / You'll be telling your grandchildren about this day Melonpool / In a few minutes Jalea Bates will perform her hit pop song Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful on the Grammys and become a household name / Just remember Ralph There are other more important things than fame and fortune / Like what / Man That is one dumb lookin' spaceship / No dumber than a robot monkey |
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This ship is beyond our comprehension / What do you mean / There's no engine sir It must be propelled by some real slick tech / These guys are way beyond us / In that case they will tell us their secrets and be destroyed / Grab DNA The martian scanners will find their evil lair / They've got cable / Okay not that's just no fair / / I hope Jalea goes on soon / Are you nervous Ralph You're shaking like a leaf / Naw That 12th cup of coffee took its toll I gotta go / Just go Eminem and Elton John will be on for a half hour / MEN / You'd think a stationery store the size of the staples center would have a few more stalls than that I hope I didn't miss the Grammys / Rats They're already setting up for the Oscars / This isn't The Shrine you twit |
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The captive awakes / Huh Wha / Alright bucko Who are you Where are you from We have ways to make you talk / Look if this is about my citizenship I can explain / Whoa whoa we're not the government Flattered but no / Can I explain It's reeally ingenious / / I need my car keys have you seen Mayberry / I think he drove Ralph and Jalea to the Grammys / What / Jalea's up for female vocalist of the year Ralph went as her manager / Is Ralph crazy He's going to get us all captured / Relax Roberta Nobody watches the Grammys / What're you watching / The Grammys |
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Thanks for retrieving the Steel Duck but power and prestige and money await / Hey / Not so fast We'll rip your secrets from you with bad television / Ha Good luck / CLICK / AAAUGH / Whoa that was easy / LIVE / / You're on next Miss Bates / Uh oh Where's Ralph / I'd better find him I'll never hear the end of it if he misses Jalea's song / Yikes Ralph's hat and signs of a struggle Omigosh I'll bet someone abducted him / Those poor poor abductors |
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How's about a deal You help me fix the Steel Duck so I can get off this mudball / Yes / And I'll give you all our secrets / Yes / So how does it fly without an engine / I've never seen such marvels / Um let's say we fix it first / Oooo Suspense / / Aside from his hat I don't see a sign of Ralph / And now Jalea Bates / ON THE AIR / Hey Jalea's on right now / Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful is dedicated to those that inspired it / Thanks Ralph Zinobop Mayberry Melonpool / and College Girls Gone Wild Hit it / ZIP |
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You think that I'm shallow and you tell me that I'm cruel but you don't hate me / Because I'm beautiful / It's Jalea Bates / You'd think Eminem woulda scared you off Joy / Whoa that boy ain't human / What boy / Somethin's up Let's go / / Too bad you didn't win that Grammy Jalea / I hope this teaches you to keep your top on I'll bet you were yanked off the air in 10 seconds / Fortunately even with your top off you still had on more clothes than Toni Braxton / Terrible news Sam / I know I saw the Grammys We're as good as captured / Huh / You were filmed with your hat off What if some government UFO investigators saw you / Luckily you were caught on tape right when Jalea took her top off so the network cut the feed / No stormtroopers have beat down the door yet so maybe this isn't so bad / But that's what I'm trying to tell you / Ralph's been captured I don't know who did it or why but he disappeared Somebody took him / Who'd want him / I keep asking myself that same question |
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Where in the galaxy are your evil legions located / Evil legions / You know your hordes of minions poised for universal conquest / I'd rather not say / I know what you mean Whenever we mention we're from the planet Alien we get the strangest looks / / Mayberry I can locate Ralph / You can How / We used the sensors to locate you when you got lost back in Junebug County I can home in on a zinobopian signal as easy as a melotian one / BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEP / Wow He's right here / Uh maybe I should hold that thing |
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Ugh this place is a mess / Well we did some rummaging / Here put my dup o matic over there / Please explain / The dup o matic It makes clones / Eeevil clones / Smell that Spring lilacs / Depends on your perspective / Ooo / / I can't believe no one else wanted to look for Ralph / They had their reasons Ralph makes Sammy run on the wheel makes sexist remarks to Roberta and he treats Sam like a well like a dog / Oh come on He has his good points / Yeah of course he does / You |
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Hold still / ZAP / How do you feel / I want to direct a romantic comedy starring Rosie O'Donnel and Gary Coleman / Gimme that / Wanna write poetry / Get away from me freak / / Were are we going again / Ta Jalea Bates' apartment / She's our only link ta the alien we saw on the Grammys Ah won't rest 'til ah get ta the bottom of this / I don't know Sal Jalea doesn't seem like the type that'd hang out with aliens / It's no use Ralphie There's nothing but humans on this thing |
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So then the six solar panels should help us jumpstart the Duck / Where'd you say we are again / An uncharted desert isle / What / Just a migraine / Now about the engine / Is there one / Oh yeah It can run circles around any other / What's the wheel for / / We're investigating two alien sightings One was at the Grammys last night during Jalea Bates' performance / Have you seen him before / Uh / Uh / Uh / Ah They don't know anything Let's get outta here / We hafta check out that giant duck sightin' at the La Brea tarpits / Wait He's looking kinda familiar |
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The engine is a wheel / Yeah / Ooo he's good / TAP TAP TAP / Of course now I shall have to eradicate him / / Ah can't believe ah'm flyin' the aliens ta the Bermuda triangle / We have to Their doohicky will pinpoint the alien base / Don't worry Sal SEMME says they're no threat Besides this one's adorable / And don't forget Jalea Bates She's a hottie / I guess that leaves you and me / An' my fist makes three |
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WHEEZE PANT PANT WHEEZE / These grunts are expendable just the way I like them but it isn't enough / I need something more but what / I'm sure something will hit me eventually / SIP / / My the aliens definitely don't want us gettin' in there Ah've never seen it so guarded / We have to get in Their friend is inside / If we had a couple of those masks I'll bet Ralphie and I could get in / Freeze / Heh heh They played right into our hands |
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Traitorous cur / I thought we had something special But it was only about you you you Didn't my feelings matter at all / I tried to deal with this rationally and move on but I just can't put it behind me / So I'll just wipe you off the face of the earth / YAWN / Heck I feel better already / Are we through yet / / This is it Ralphie It's been fun / CLUNK / Wow Jalea Is there anything you can't do / Besides keepin' your top on / I hope this works I don't look too much like The Great Gazoo do I / At least now we know why the aliens always keep their helmets on ye ech / C'mon Stay in character We only have one shot at this / I can't see a thing in this helmet / Move it / Watch it shorty / Who goes there / HARK / Uh we found these SEMME guys spying on us / Shoot 'em now Shoot 'em now / GASP / I'm only joshing Go on in / Well that worked without a hitch / Ah wouldn't exactly say that So where's this ship o' yours / There it is / Your ship is the giant duck What boob designed that / Speaking of which where's Jalea / AIEEYA |
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Die / BLAM / Hey no fair / Jalea no / She's a robot / She saved you Ralph / Of course she did She's programmed to be my bodyguard / And III I III I III will always lo ove you uuu u / And you can save me next Melonpool / Hey / / Take cover / To my lab / I can't believe that Jalea Bates is a robot / Can you fix her Ralph / All we need is her lower half / Of course leaving her in two pieces has its advantages as well / BOOT / Hey |
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Strike hard an' fast / Strike / We're not trained alien fighters / I don't even have negative emotions / Freeze earthlings / Well yer gettin' the crash course / Wait we're trained / / It's no use There's just too many of them / It wouldn't be so bad if you guys would fight too / I'll help as soon as I find the stun on this thing / I won't be defeated by a bunch of clowns in purple welder's masks / They must have some weakness What's the opposite of a warmonger / That's it Everyone get behind me / Say hello to the dup o matic you alien scum Welcome to my world |
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Joyce Help me herd these aliens to the other side of the room / Okay / What does that thing do / You'll see / ZAP / Uh now there's twice as many Ah might hafta kill you now / Women have no patience I swear / / Ah knew you were in cahoots You just duplicated the alien army / Correction I made opposites Positives and negatives cancel each other out / I always thought that opposites attract / Die imposter / ZAP / Can't we all just get along / See It's going exactly as I predicted / Wow You predicted that they'd blow a 25 foot hole in the hull |
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Ah'll fend off these last few aliens Y'all get the Duck runnin' / Y'all / What is this hee haw / You Go Now / Sorry toots I have to stay here / You doofs get on the bridge and someone fly this thing / Ooh ooh me / Should we be worried / Two words seat belts / Ooo buttons / / I can't find the start button on this thing / Omigosh We don't have an engine / What're we going to do Ralph We can't blast off We don't have Sammy to run the wheel / Don't worry We'll use auxiliary power / Do we even have auxiliary power / We do now |
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Set thrusters to go Mr. Walk / Wiigii / The suction It's / Houston this is a kickbutt ride / / Rats That hole in the hull is creating more suction than I anticipated / Ack I lost my grip I'm a goner for sure / Good bye cruel world / You don't see drama like this in Mutts |
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