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I can't wait until we get 3D tv so I can look up people's noses / Skipper |
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Ooh pretty / Screw big boss I'm g / Shut up / Like Sal said Mike I know it's not in our job description but he put us out here for riot control / A refreshing change of pace I should say / I think it's exciting / You're a girl You think a tea party's exciting |
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Denver / Happy new year / 2000 / Here comes the countdown / Get ready / Five / Four / Three / Woah headache / Two / Geez / ONE / Aaaaaaaaaa |
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Several years ago I began a campaign to prepare myself an army of this planet's inhabitants Minor setbacks occured but nonetheless a fraction of Earth's population was fated to be mine / The natives caught wind of my quest for power but not my means Creating a force to stop me consisting of minds I myself reprogrammed is the highest irony Their loyalty waited but for the chosen time / And that time is now None remain to oppose me in this new hour a new beginning / Year Zero |
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Such wonderful silence my friends Nearly all of SEMME is lying inoperative on their floors / Neato / Now the real work begins And my timing is perfect Humans everywhere are expecting apocalypse at the new millennium / So deliciously I've began my coup one year early in human year 2000 A.D. taking them unawares / Um boss / What |
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To my airship / SEMME / Where we going oh almighty leader / The abductees are awaiting my command but I have to acquire the controls first / Where are the controls / Back in 1984 I Enough convenient Q and A sessions What am I a Bond villain |
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Tony Beef Mike Wake up / This is alarming / It's like they just dropped limp / Well we haven't a moment We'll need to run our chums into H.Q. / or drag in Beef's case / Sal Where's Sal / If I make any Y2K bug puns feel free to thrash me / Y2K bug / Right your mind was wiped wasn't it This gets better and better all the time |
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I'll unlock our craft Good thing we flew one in / Nuh uh uh / The blazes / Greetings this is the head alien speaking / If you're hearing this message you're probably one of the few agents who slipped through my fingers Nonetheless the SEMME central computer is now controlled by me Heh / The holidays are depressing enough / Yaw w wn / How about we take a quick nap |
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Proper procedure calls for an assessment of our current situation / Okay / Most of our squad is comatose or missing and SEMME central computer is under alien control / Yeah / You're new right Got the handbook on person / The So now you're a secret agent manual / Yes Look around in the index / Q I am denied access to SEMME central functions What should I do / A SEMME central is infallible There must be a problem with the user |
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There must be a logical way to go about this / SEMME handbook / Chapter 14 Problem solving in a period of crisis / If the head alien's wrested control of SEMME central computer he's most likely escaped We'll have to track him down / Refer to data in SEMME central before continuing / But first we'll have to assess damages back at SEMME H.Q. / If SEMME central is not responsive see page 923 / Don't suppose you owned a car in your previous life / SEMME central is infallible There must be a problem with the user |
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Here's a venture there's got to be a few SEMME agents still conscious sitting around upstairs / This is SEMME's downtown living quarters after all many of their personnel are under this roof / Year / DING / Hey suit guy you've got a lot of nose hair / Bloody hell |
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You trying to give me a heart attack / I'm gonna drop at midnight / It's been midnight for minutes you / Aw poo Really / Yes Now do you have a car we can use / I don't know You'll have to ask Mr. Belly Button / What / Help help I'm choking There's too much lint in my mouth |
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Do you have a car or not / Only Mr. Belly Button knows for sure / Certainly When I'm dead and gone / Mr. Belly Button do you have a car / Parking garage level 4C black 1986 Dodge Ram here's the keys |
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So do you need help down / Nah I got it Joyce / How do you know my name / You dunno me / Should I / I was there when you woke up / Oh I don't remember much from those first few days |
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It's really weird y'know not having any memories / Am I the same person I was before What am I supposed to be like / Does anyone miss me / I would / But then I say to heck with it this life is fun / GIGGLE |
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Blast Everyone here is out cold / Perhaps if we / Oh It's you / See here we've got very important matters so if y / He's got a car Jason Can't he come along / Ew no / C'mon he's got to be somewhat useful Got any skills / I eat and sleep well |
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I refuse to be accompanied by this backwards little boy / I'm almost twenty / Think about it Jason It's two of us against possibly hundreds of aliens We have no SEMME central and no aircraft We need all the help we can get / Oh very well / Wiigii / I'll go get my pick up / Pick up But |
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Here she is / How charming / I'll be making myself at home back here I assume / Lemme open the door fer ya / Thankies / When we save the world I expect ample compensation for this travesty / SCREEEEEEEEEEEE / Bloody / Sorry about the music I've only got AM radio / Yodel ay ee Yodel ay ee Yodel ay ee / AAAAAAAAAAA |
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Now load up the others in the back We can't hardly leave them out here / Urgh Beef's heavy / Hey my brother / Beef is your brother / Yeah my twin / So I'm short / If I were your family I'd starve you to death too |
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That leaves us with the aircraft We need a way to hide it / Right on it chief / Oh god / The sad thing is that he's proud of this |
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Meanwhile back at SEMME H.Q. / Ah my airship / SEMME / Now that the SEMME central computer is down I won't even need a security code to release the magnetic bonds / Then it's an easy task to fly to our base activate the mind control device after which hundreds of human subjects will serve me / Step away from the aircraft Head Alien / Oh it's only you |
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I'm disappointed Big Boss I was expecting the girl / I said step away / Where's the rest of your staff Big Boss Professor Doc Alan / I don't recall abducting them / But I do recall securing the building for any stragglers |
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What's worth more to you Me or your entire remaining staff I assure you my countless subordinates can and will carry on without me as they have for the past half year / Raise it a little higher / The boss is comin' back / Quick Hide the latex gloves and puppies / nuclear warhead |
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Fine head alien I'll let you go if my staff goes free / What the heck sure / It's not as if you can stop me once I'm gone anyway / You humans sure are stupid |
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The head alien told us to keep a few hostages What's a couple less / Heheh / Have we considered melee weapons |
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Glad to see us / I am / Not victims of the virus I see / Virus / The reason everyone's unconscious you doof / I thought it was 'cuz it's one o'clock in the morning / Can I strangle him / No / Glad in a very loose sense mind |
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In the time since our agents have shut down we've discovered the nature of the virus / Professor / Certainly Big Boss The vast majority of our agents are also past victims of alien experiments Why is still classified / It's because abductees have an affinity with alien technology / How'd you / You can find anything on the internet |
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The aliens left a sort of timer in their abductees' minds forcing them asleep at the appointed time / You three were spared obviously because you were volunteers or your mind was wiped in the female's case / So when do we kick alien butt / You're not going anywhere Walkerton / Extreme situations do not call for simpleminded fools / You're staying here |
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But I wanna help / We're losing time Walkerton / Let it go / Agents you'll be accompanied by Alan our alien expert / Quick give me a synonym for expert that begins with A / Huh |
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We've managed to pinpoint the location of the aliens' base of operations If our information's correct we can find and destroy them / Now if we're ready / We have some important business ahead of us / Turn around |
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