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Joyce you're pretty stupid to think I'd cry my eyes out 'cuz of a stupid movie / You mean you didn't cry at Ghost Or Shadowlands My Girl / My Girl was a sad movie / The one where bees sting the little kid and he dies / I thought that part was hilarious |
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Two for Titanic please / Titanic / You didn't have to do that Joe / Why not / Because now it means we're on a date / Right I'm gonna go slit my wrists / Here let me help / Gilligan's Island |
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Sure it's just another action movie / but we've got bigger EXPLOSIONS / Coming this fall / Alright Killer explosions / I see they attracted their target audience |
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Well Joyce sure seems enthralled / Hmmm I'll win the bet easily if I manage to fall asleep |
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A guys guide to not crying at a movie / Fidget a lot / Let your mind wander / Mmm Sandra Bullock / Bite your lip / Hope for a miracle / Whoa she's naked |
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Joe it's over / And you won the bet Here's your twenty dollars / I can't believe you didn't cry at all / That's me Mister Macho Man Mmm hmm / Let's go |
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Did you at least like Titanic Joe / It was okay / RSJ / You're so frustrating y'know that / I hope you spent your $20 well / Hey thanks for lending me your new Titanic soundtrack Joe |
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Whatcha up to today Alex / FBI satellite photos It's amazing what a little hacking can do / Here's some shots of the White House / That's not Hillary / Neither are the other three Enlightening |
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Math / Do you need help / No no I'm fine |
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Root beer and cookies for breakfast / Yep / Yuck / Gimme / Getcher own |
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Why does all shampoo hafta be pink and flowery / Geez I want my shampoo to be freakin' masculine / How so / Y'know it'd be like a tank But filled with shampoo / And it would smell like sweat Yeah / Mmm hmmm |
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Y'know Joe Sometimes I lay awake at night wondering where Sal is what she's doing / Maybe she eloped with her bisexual teacher and is now exotic dancing / Stop watching Jerry Springer |
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Crap |
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My bike is gone / No joke / It's not there somebody took it / Dang / Eh s'about time you got a new one anyway / DIE |
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Settle down Danno They only took your bike eeesh / You don't mess with a man's bike / Right / Y'know when Sal dumped you you whimpered for weeks to this day / So how long you gonna drag this one out I'll come back when yer done / While you're gone can you look for my bike |
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Sal's gone Danny When're you gonna accept it / Hmmph / Danny / There's always Joyce / Do you really think so / Hey I'd rather her annoy me than you |
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Hey Joyce we need to talk / Great Come in / You dropped in at a perfect time My parents are here / So this is the boyfriend you've told us about / He looks a little dizzy dear You've got to get better air circulation in here |
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Excuse us for a minute will you / Joyce You told your parents we're dating / Well sorta / I might have also told them that you proposed last Friday / Right When was I gonna be let in on this After we have a few imaginary kids |
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Joyce what you've done demonstrates exactly why it'll never work between us / For one second I had myself fooled but I'm not going to pretend to be your fianc in front of your parents I'm outta here / So what do you want to do after college Dan / Stop being a pushover |
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Well Dan we're going to go out to dinner in a half hour or so Would you like to join us / I dunno / Of course he would / Look Hank it's as if they were already married |
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All right a recap Joe convinces me that Sal's long gone and I should consider Joyce for a girlfriend / Of course when I go to visit her it turns out she's telling her parents we're engaged So I'm a bit angry understandibly / Yet the wishy washy bum that I am goes along with it anyway and we're eating in half an hour / Things couldn't be weirder / Foreshadowing |
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Sal / 128 / Hiya |
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Sal what the / Hiya Danny Thought ah'd drop in / I thought you but / Still don't make yer bed do ya / How'd you get in my and / Cute poster who is she / RSJ / Sal please Could you stop rambling for one minute / Ah'm ramblin' |
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Sal you said we were breaking up and I'd never see you again / Wrong / Ah said ah was movin' an' we were breakin' up sure No mention o' never seein' me / In fact ah still very much like you So we're not over inna way / You're being very cryptic y'know that / Ah'm female It's my job |
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Did your parents drop you off or what / Naw ah ran 'way / What / Got everthin' ah own in 'ere / What's your parents' number / Won't do y'any good / Oh Danny ta think ya could pass through this world as smilin' as you 'spite all its complications / I lost my bike this morning |
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Sal why did you run away What's wrong / Ah ah can't tell ya / Not yet anyway / Then why come to me / Ah dunno D'ya still have mah Maria Carey CD / TITANIC |
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So as long as ah'm here whatcha wanna do / RING / Hold on / Hi Danny My parents and I are down in the lobby so when you're ready come down okay / SLAM / Who was that / Telephone solicitors |
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Well crap Joyce is downstairs waiting for me to go out to dinner with her / while my real girlfriend is up here on a surprise visit This is not good / Here's hoping I can figure something out before either gets suspicious / Dangit it's been 3 seconds Where is he |
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That's it I'm gonna run up and fetch Danny myself / Joe / Gimme your keys to let me up the elevator / I'm busy / Busy / Lady he has a venereal disease Now gimme the slaggin' keys / Hey |
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Fine you scared my date away / Give me the keys / When did you ever learn those words Venereal disease / Give me the keys / Geeze you usually blush red at the mention of sex Heh like this / Give me the keys / Give me the keys / Right It's that time of the month Um hello there |
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