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| Triangle and Robert #481 | You're the, uh, Serpent of Many Colors and we're in, um... black and white. / Oh. Oh my. That makes me... the Serpent of Several Fill Patterns? This is... this is really, really embarassing. / I'm gonna go throw myself off the edge of the world now.
/ Can you give me a ride there? That's where the second... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?481 |
| Triangle and Robert #482 | Dragon Circle number two, simple enough. Are we going to have to go through every single Dragon Circle one at a time? / Are you suggesting that I take some sort of shortcut rather than tell the full scope of this epic tale?
/ Yes. / Well too bad. I've been slacking off far too much recently. I'm not... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?482 |
| Triangle and Robert #483 | And so, twenty-three pointlessly brief and repetitive subquests later, Triangle at last comes to the twenty-fifth Dragon Circle.
/ I knew it. / Okay, so one more to go and then we can get the ludicrously overforeshadowed pun out of the way. / One more? No, you found all twenty-five.
/ You mean you're... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?483 |
| Triangle and Robert #484 | And now that you have all twenty-five Dragon Circles, you can summon the Dragon and make 1d6+7 wishes!
/ 1d6+7? / I don't have a six-sided die. / Oh, I'll wish Cube back first. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?484 |
| Triangle and Robert #485 | Funky! I'm being wished back!
/ Why you? Why not me? / Triangle needs a six-sided die to count his wishes. I'm sure you'll be next.
/ But you don't have spots! / We'll think of something. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?485 |
| Triangle and Robert #486 | That is not a regulation six-sided die. / I have six-sides and I was dead. I'll do. / Very well. Eight wishes remain to you, shape. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?486 |
| Triangle and Robert #487 | For my second wish, I want Robert back. / The rhombus? Well, it is not my job to ask why. / It is done. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?487 |
| Triangle and Robert #488 | Okay! Next wish! I want every episode of Leave it to Beaver, including lost ones, to be restored, recovered, and released on DVD at affordable prices. / That is within my power, but it will count as seven wishes.
/ Of course. I thought it might. / It is done.
/ Robert.... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?488 |
| Triangle and Robert #489 | Robert... you used up... ALL my remaining wishes... to... restore... a television program... that you hardly ever WATCH! / We could have wished for LIMBS! EYES! For crying out loud, we probably could have even wished for ANTIALIASED FONTS! What were you think? / So you don't want to see the one where... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?489 |
| Triangle and Robert #490 | For that matter... for that matter... we don't have a DVD player.... / Berate the rhombus later. The Starham has vanished.
/ I just got BACK from an artifact run! / The Starham must be kept safe, equilateral one.
/ Why?
/ It's a ham, and it's from space. Isn't that enough reason?
/ No? http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?490 |
| Triangle and Robert #491 | You have to understand, I really believe in the ICI. The traditions they preserve are vital to polygonal existence. / But... not Meat Enforcement. The things that get said about the ICI as a whole... they're true of that one department. If the Meat Enforcers get hold of the Starham, who knows what could... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?491 |
| Triangle and Robert #492 | Since you're not going to shut up, tell me. What is the Starham? / A fully-cooked glazed ham which fell from space, intact, roughly forty years ago. / So? Meat falls from space all the time.
/ Meat, yes. But not CURED meat.
/ And that matters? http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?492 |
| Triangle and Robert #493 | The ICI never had possession of the Starham, and never sought it. The Starham has been studied in many independent laboratories.
/ Is that relevant? / Yes! You must understand, the International Culinary Institute is not your enemy. It is only the corrupt Meat Enforcers who pursue the ham for their own... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?493 |
| Triangle and Robert #494 | I suppose I should ask about the Meat Enforcers. / The department began as quality advisors, aiding meat producers in meeting standards. They then gained enforcement powers. Now, they ensure consistently high-grade meats worldwide through a campaign of brutal intimidation. / That's terrifying, but... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?494 |
| Triangle and Robert #495 | Why me? This Starham business seems more in Cube's line.
/ You need the experience, and the cube already intends a quest of his own. Something to do with aged pepper, I gather. / I don't like quests! Can't Cube do both?
/ Linda Concarne! Meat Enforcement!
/ Huh? / Come with me! I'm declaring you unfit... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?495 |
| Triangle and Robert #496 | In a frozen locker...
/ Stop talking back to me! Tell me where I can find the Starham! / / I don't mean LITERALLY stop talking back to me! Don't be smart!
/ I'm used to things not making sense, but I usually at least know WHY they don't make sense. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?496 |
| Triangle and Robert #497 | I don't have the Starham! What made you think I do?
/ Don't twist my words! I never said you had it! / They call you the Chosen One! I don't believe in any of that, but you obviously have a power! You can see in the colors of magic, Triangle! Now tell me! Where is the Starham?
/ Wow. You are SO wrong... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?497 |
| Triangle and Robert #498 | I'm trapped. Except... this locker is full of meat. I must know some meat spell I can use that would get me out of here. / And so Triangle hastily forms a pentagram of sausage and begins to chant.
/ Wait! I haven't even thought of a spell yet! / Right.
/ Now, how much fluid pressure would I get if I... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?498 |
| Triangle and Robert #499 | So, what's IN this peppermill you're so eager to recover?
/ I don't know anymore. / When I was dead, it was obvious. I don't have that perspective now, and the memories have faded. / Should I come with you?
/ The Wiggly Lines of Sorrow are no place for a wacky rhombus. I shouldn't have sent you the first... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?499 |
| Triangle and Robert #500: Starham | Meats form in space. It's a decent-sized universe, and the remaining particles of pudding give all kinds of food formation a head start. / Space is no place for curing, though. Salts just don't form in the right concentrations. The Starham is an enigma, a properly cured ham... from the stars. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?500 |
| Triangle and Robert #501 | Of course, Triangle has no more to do with the actual disappearance of the Starham than the ICI does. The RDCLBA also has no connection to this event. / I was planning to acquire the ham, but was beaten to it by forces unknown. / And somewhere in the skies, in a certain mysterious oval, a sandwich... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?501 |
| Triangle and Robert #502 | Miss Concarne! We have an observation report. A bone has landed near Denver.
/ A bone? / Yes. It appears that the Starham... has been eaten. The bone was discarded from an unidentified small aircraft.
/ Get the jet ready! We're going after it! / And the triangle?
/ He'll freeze or he'll escape! We don't... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?502 |
| Triangle and Robert #503 | By the power of stuffing, I command you to open!
/ *POP* / I'm out! Thank goodness that door was chemically similar to turkey.
/ Nice move. / I guess I should stow away on that jet to advance the plot.
/ Cool, one less device for me to write. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?503 |
| Triangle and Robert #504 | It's the year 2001 and I've got a bone and a black rectangle. Uh... now what?
/ Are you serious? You're stuck? / Uh, yeah. You'd think a gratuitous one-strip parody would write itself.
/ One-strip. So this whole Starham thing wasn't just setup for an idiotic sight gag. / No. I am going somewhere with... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?504 |
| Triangle and Robert #505 | There's the bone! Land here!
/ We've already landed. / We've already left the jet, too. It's over there.
/ I see! Thank you for that lesson in the perils of stealth technology! / Does Wonder Woman have these problems?
/ I wouldn't know, Miss Concarne. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?505 |
| Triangle and Robert #506 | Ah. Much of the power of the Starham remains in this... Starbone! I feel it! / I can sense that so-called Chosen One nearby! He's in the jet!
/ (great energy flowing from bone into Linda Concarne) / I also sense... no! It's impossible! Or...
/ Miss Concarne? Your orders? http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?506 |
| Triangle and Robert #507 | (She's spotted me.) / Chosen One! The bone is yours! Take it, quickly! Use the jet! Leave us here! Do it quickly, before I weaken!
/ (Ah, yes. What would a plot be without goofy twists?) / (What have I done... my whole life... I was... I was...) http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?507 |
| Triangle and Robert #508 | And then I took her advice and left before she finished her internal monologue.
/ She must have a very interesting story to tell. / In this strip?
/ Right. Well.... Anyway, do you have the remains of the Starham with you? / Yes. I have the bone. I wonder what could have eaten the ham.
/ According to last... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?508 |
| Triangle and Robert #509 | I still don't sense any power in this bone.
/ Maybe all the power was already transferred to that Linda Concarne. / No. It is a subtle, slow-roasted power, detectable to those closely attuned with meat. I can only dimly sense it myself. / Well, it's out of the hands of the Meat Enforcers, and we can... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?509 |
| Triangle and Robert #510 | You're back! I've been worried sick!
/ Woof woof. / Why are you being chased by robots?
/ Bark whimper growl. / Well, all's well that ends well. I'll go get the flamethrower and finish them off.
/ Rouf. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?510 |
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