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| Triangle and Robert #271 | I'm reporting live from outside the Tater Fizz bottling plant. Witnesses claim to have seen a / giant screaming pill entering the plant two days ago. Since then, no one has entered or left the bottling plant. It appears that the local supply of / the popular potato-flavored soft drink has been cut... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?271 |
| Triangle and Robert #272 | Tater Fizz is the most vile beverage ever conceived. As far as I'm concerned Prozac's doing the city a favor. / But what about the children?
/ Huh? / All the children, being deprived of their murky white carbonated potato... juice... cocktail.... You're right. No one in their right mind drinks Tater... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?272 |
| Triangle and Robert #273 | If they're not in Austria then where are they?
/ Shh. I'm listening to this. / It's day four of the Tater Fizz crisis and there has as yet been no communication of any kind from inside the plant. Police believe there may be a hostage situation in progress but don't feel like doing anything about it. / In... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?273 |
| Triangle and Robert #274 | I represent a group of several very stupid rich people with no sense of taste.
/ Howdy. / For some unfathomable reason, my clients actually want the Tater Fizz supply restored, and you're the polygons for the job.
/ What are they offering? / An extremely large crate of various sparkly things.
/ I'll have... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?274 |
| Triangle and Robert #275 | A new development in the Tater Fizz situation: local wacky scheme consultants Triangle and Robert have just been seen entering the bottling plant carrying an oversized copy of the Emancipation Proclamation. / Hey! Turn off the radio for a second! I need to know where the teleporter sent everyone!
/ Shh!... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?275 |
| Triangle and Robert #276 | Having been repulsed by the language barrier, they would naturally emerge from teleportation at the least Austrian point on the planet. / You mean...
/ No. I don't. / You sure? I really want to go to...
/ Well, that's not where they are.
/ Pity. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?276 |
| Triangle and Robert #277 | Okay, then where is the least Austrian point on the planet?
/ Will you replace my radio if I tell you? / Of course.
/ Okay. You'll find them at the core of the planet. / Which core? Your planet is shaped funny, you know.
/ The 4D hypertaco was your idea, not ours. Anyway, they're in the molten pudding... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?277 |
| Triangle and Robert #278 | Do you mean to tell me half my cast has been immersed in molten pudding for a week?
/ At this point, "dissolved" would be more accurate. / So... they're dead?
/ Except for Orpuddex, yes. / Well. That makes things easier. It's a lot less work to bring characters back from the dead than to find them when... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?278 |
| Triangle and Robert #279 | Oh no! The Emancipation Proclamation is on fire!
/ Let's get out of here! / Triangle and Robert are now coming out of the bottling plant.... They're running.... They seem to be carrying something. It's on fire.... I think it's the oversided copy of the Emancipation Proclamation! It appears that the wacky... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?279 |
| Triangle and Robert #280 | Okay, strategy time. What exactly went wrong?
/ There weren't enough cotton swabs. / Yes, but we shouldn't have needed the cotton swabs in the first place. What started the flooding?
/ The Emancipation Proclamation was too big?
/ Exactly. / This time, we use the Magna Carta.
/ And we fireproof it.
/ Bi... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?280 |
| Triangle and Robert #281 | It's day eight of the Tater Fizz crisis. So far, Triangle and Robert have made six attempts to penetrate the bottling plant's fortress-like defenses. Each attempt has ended with a lot of screaming and something being set on fire. / It appears that they are preparing for a seventh attempt. This time,... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?281 |
| Triangle and Robert #282 | I don't know what plasma cannons were doing in a bottling plant but we took them out. Now to find out what's going on. / Hi! I'm Prozac the Bear! Leave now, before the potatoes wake up! You just might get out alive!
/ What's that thing on you? / AAAAH! AAAAH! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?282 |
| Triangle and Robert #283 | What's gotten into that pill?
/ I... I think it's the author's irrational fear of potatoes. / The yams are in it too, you hear me? Yes! I said the yams! It's a conspiracy reaching up to the highest levels of... uh... thingy! I'm Prozac the Bear! / Fetch me a packet of crisps. I'm gonna try an exorcism.
/ No!... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?283 |
| Triangle and Robert #284 | It's our only chance! The lasers will be back online any minute now!
/ Exorcise him sure, but we're not using potato products to do it! / Then what?
/ You still have a couple squid left? / Oh! Of course! Exorcise irrational fear of potatoes witha pair of squid!
/ See what I'm getting at?
/ No! Not in... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?284 |
| Triangle and Robert #285 | Squids! Ink! We're in a comic strip! Think about it!
/ How about I not think about it and you just go ahead and do it? / By the squid I command you! Leave this body! LEAVE this body!
/ OW! STOP IT!
/ I'm Prozac the Bear! / Hooray! How about a great big hug?
/ The exorcism's not over just yet.
/ Your mother... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?285 |
| Triangle and Robert #286 | You don't get it! I'm not the bad guy! It's the potatoes! I'm the only one who knows! I'm trying to stop them! / You're BLIND! You don't see what I can see! The potatoes! They're... they're what you should be after, not me! / They won't spare you if you stop me! Don't expect potatoes to be merciful!... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?286 |
| Triangle and Robert #287 | Hey Robert, I found the bottling plant workers!
/ What happened here? / That crazy pill charged in here and started locking us up. Said it was to protect us from the potatoes. What's going on? What happened with the potatoes?
/ Nothing happened with the potatoes. The only dangerous thing here is that... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?287 |
| Triangle and Robert #288 | LISTEN! I'm not the villain here! Potatoes infect your mind with their radiation! / They're not even really vegetables! They're biological incubators for a hostile alien race! It's all in the thesaurus, I'm not making it up! / The thesaurus?
/ Don't look at me like that! I didn't put it there! http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?288 |
| Triangle and Robert #289 | I sense the fear in you, equilateral one. It is strong. Together we can crush the potatoes and rule the galaxy as, uh... / and rule the galaxy as psychological phenomenon and polygon! Join me!
/ No. / "No"? Not "I'll never join you"? Just "no"?
/ As great a threat as you are, unnecessary pop-cultural... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?289 |
| Triangle and Robert #290 | Return to the brain chemical imbalance from whence you were spawned!
/ Whence? / By these squid we command you!
/ Why "whence"? No one says "whence." / Begone!
/ Begone! http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?290 |
| Triangle and Robert #291 | It is over. You are banished from this world.
/ Am not! / No! Triangle! / Triangle doesn't live here anymore. I'm calling the shots now. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?291 |
| Triangle and Robert #292 | I'm... here again? I died? / NO. YOU WERE DRIVEN FROM YOUR MORTAL BODY BY THE FEAR-DEMON. WHEN IT IS DEFEATED YOU WILL RETURN. / IN THE MEANTIME I WILL TELL YOU SOMETHING OF YOUR DESTINY.
/ Oh great, this again. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?292 |
| Triangle and Robert #293 | DO NOT WORRY. THE RHOMBUS WILL SUCCEED IN HIS TASK. / EVEN NOW, HE PURSUES YOUR POSSESSED BODY ACROSS THE WORLD.
/ And I'm guessing the reason you're narrating this to me is that the cartoonist can't draw it? / YOU ARE WISE IN THE WAYS OF THIS UNIVERSE http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?293 |
| Triangle and Robert #294 | AND NOW FOR THE MATTER OF YOUR DESTINY.
/ Ah yes. What sort of zany celestial incompetence will keep me from finding out this time? / IN THE REALMS ABOVE, THE SAME MISTAKE IS NOT MADE THRICE.
/ I'll believe that when I hear my destiny. / LOOK, IF YOU KEEP INSULTING ME I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET AROUND TO... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?294 |
| Triangle and Robert #295 | THIS UNIVERSE DID INDEED BEGIN AS PUDDING, AND THE PUDDING-WATCHER WAS INDEED CREATED TO SHEPHERD IT. / THEN THINGS VARY A BIT DEPENDING UPON WHOM YOU ASK. THE TRUE STORY LIES SOMEWHERE BETWEEN. / ORPUDDEX IS OLD, VERY OLD. HE REMEMBERS NOT ONLY WHAT WAS, BUT ALSO WHAT HE WISHED BUT WAS NOT. THOUGH... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?295 |
| Triangle and Robert #296 | DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN CREATION?
/ Uh... I don't know. Assume I don't. / BY ONE WAY OF VIEWING TIME, YOU WERE CREATED AT THE SAME TIME AS THIS UNIVERSE. BY ANOTHER, YOU PREDATE IT.
/ Huh? / TIME CAN BE VIEWED SUCH THAT YOU ARE ETERNAL, NEVER IN NEED OF HAVING BEEN CREATED. AND IN YET ANOTHER VIEW... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?296 |
| Triangle and Robert #297 | Look, enough of the meaningless quasi-philosophical babble. Tell me my destiny already, before Robert catches up with my body. / YOU THINK IT MEANINGLESS? THEN YOU ARE NOT YET READY.
/ So that's your excuse this time? / UNLESS I CAN COME UP WITH A BETTER ONE, YES.
/ I knew it! You're not even trying... http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?297 |
| Triangle and Robert #298 | On the slopes of Mount Scary, Robert catches up with his quarry.
/ Is this going to be a pun about a rock pile? / No, I mean "quarry" in the sense of the object of your pursuit.
/ You better. / And now it's the third panel and we have nothing to show for it.
/ Hooray for pacing. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?298 |
| Triangle and Robert #299 | And now... IT ENDS! / And then there's a nifty special-effects-laden exorcism scene I can't draw, and then... / Whoa! Deja vu!
/ I'm not so sure "deja vu" is the right term for it. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?299 |
| Triangle and Robert #300 | This seems like a good moment to pause the action and recap exactly what's going on. / Oh good. I was trying to figure it out and I wasn't getting anywhere.
/ I was hoping you would recap it for me.... / Well, don't look at me. I'm making it up as I go along.
/ So no chance of a recap. http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?300 |
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