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| More T.V. | [[a T.V.]] / I would watch more T.V. if T.V. watched more life. / {{Ugh.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-12-11 |
| Baby Pictures | [[baby with a cookie, wearing a hat with a very large bill and a hard plastic bib with a duck on it]] / Whenever I see baby pictures of my boss, I wonder, / "How can something so small / grow into something / so small?" / {{Are you a "small" "business owner" or a "small business" "owner?" Probably... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-12-15 |
| Racism | [[tag inside shoe, "MADE IN VIETNAM"]] / Racism is admittedly easier
/ than making your own shoes. / {{POLITICS!? I don't know. I keep my finger out of that pie.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-12-16 |
| Racism II | [[a Polish person (actually the author)]] / Racism is admittedly easier than polish last names. / {{I'm looking at you, Chiykowski.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-12-17 |
| They Are Always Watching | [[very dark image of an airplane cabin with no lights on]] / They are always watching.
/ Just think
/ how much you bore them. / {{Poor them.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-12-18 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-12-21">http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-12-21 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Eyes | No, I'm not gazing intently
/ into your eyes. / [[close-up of a young man's face (actually, Phil Saaltink's, who is a photographer for Little Worlds), looking at you out of the corners of his eyes.]] / I'm just trying to see this thing / Behind them. / {{I wrote this because maybe stalkers need pick-up... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-12-23 |
| The Claus | [[a Santa figurine, lying on its side, partially in shadow]] / I do not trust a man who slinks down chimneys, who watches and judges all the souls that sleep in the night. / I may know nothing of tinsel and trees, nothing of this witch they call "The Claus," / but of fire and steel I know many things,... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-12-25 |
| Village Bicycle | [[young woman's face with a gloved hand in front of it]] / My cynicism makes me bad at objectifying women. / "Yeah, man, she's like the village bicycle: / She reminds me of a time when people still trusted each other." / {{She's so hot she makes the guys want to tell her how attractive she is.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-12-28 |
| Good News, Bad News | [[view of an airplane wing and sky below it]] / Well, there's some good news and some bad news.
/ The good news is that you won a free vacation.
/ The bad news is that your plane is going down.
/ The good news is that you got out with a parachute.
/ The bad news is that the rip chord won't release.
/ The... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-01 |
| No Obstacle | [[the Eiffel Tower]] / My New Year's Resolution / is to believe that no obstacle is too great / to get your tongue frozen to it / and yelled at by the National Guard. / {{No problem too difficult to solve with snowballs and rum. }} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-04 |
| Medicine | To whoever controls life and death: "Laughter is the best medicine," is quite clever, but a cure for cancer would be pretty cool too, right about now. / [[Two green pills]] / {{This comic, like many of the ones that don't involve brawling with dinosaurs, is non-autobiographical.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-06 |
| Laughter Is the Best Medecine? | [[There is a table made of wood. Very blurry wood, in fact. I'm assuming the object behind is a matching chair, but there's really no way of knowing. It seems to have the same surface qualities? But glare and photo effects have rendered it indeterminate. On the table are two green capsules; I would posit... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-09 |
| Assume | [[A photograph of a small boy holding a jar and shrugging]] / "You ASSUMED? / You know what happens when you assume... / Baby boomers sass you." / {{When I assume, you make an ass out of yourself.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-11 |
| Permission or Forgiveness | [[close-up of a pipe in the Centre Pompidou]] / The philosopher wonders.
/ "Is it better to ask permission or forgiveness?"
/ And considers each.
/ The smartass says.
/ "Can I ask you a question?"
/ And assumes both. / {{It's better to have tear gas than both those things.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-13 |
| Last Day of Your Life | [[industrial plant]] / Hey, you wanted me to help you live every day like it's the last day of your life. / The least you could do is hold still while my cryo chamber boots up. / {{Mad science is all the self-help I ever needed.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-15 |
| Happiness II | [[the Eiffel Tower, shot from inside another structure across the city]] / The French word for "happiness" contains the English word for "erection." / That is all. / {{I wish you le BONhEuR. }} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-18 |
| Trust People | [[heavy machinery blurred by motion and steam]] / I trust people about as far as I can throw them.
/ Which is why this steam-catapult
/ is a big step for me right now. / {{Misanthropy is hardly a problem when you have STEAM TECHNOLOGY}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-20 |
| Prayers | [[statue of a man with hands pressed together in front of him]] / Of all prayers, the strangest must come from agnostics / leaving drunk, lonely messages on the answering machine of the universe. / {{The ex-Christian lonely-night call to God's old number (to see if he still lives there) must be a... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-22 |
| Nothing is Impossible | If there's one thing I've learned from trying to lick my own elbow, it's that / [[drawing of a hand holding a handsaw, with text on the blade]] / NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE! / {{Now go fetch me a victory tourniquet.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-25 |
| QED | [[Rodin's Thinker]] / "Quod erat demonstrandum." / Because sometimes even philosophers need to say, / "Bitch, please." / {{Now you too can bitch-slap with words. Say it loud! Say it proud! "QED! QED! QED!"}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-29 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-30">http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-01-30 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-02-01">http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-02-01 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Moustache | [[Nietzsche and his fabulous 'stache]] / I am not a man inclined to violence, / but "fisticuffs" is too good of a word NOT to use / with a moustache like this. / {{How can you not start altercations with a stash like Nietzsche's?}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-02-03 |
| Shaky Camera | [[unfocused picture of James Bond with a gun running; it's a frame from Quantum of Solace]] / To the pioneers of the "shaky camera" technique:
/ I humbly suggest that incompetence
/ is not a special effect. / {{And I, with my smudgy frames and crazily cropped photos, will not have been the first to ... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-02-08 |
| Girl Guides | [[wall with a small hole, girl face on bottom right, with piercings]] / The girl guides wouldn't have kicked me out if they really cared about fund-raising. / Four o'clock: girl guides with cannabis. Six o'clock: girl guides with cookies. / Poof! We've saved the community center. / {{Cut the power... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-02-10 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-02-13">http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-02-13 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Discovery Channel | [[There is a shark in the background]] / I'm starting a petition to rename my favourite television channel / and acknowledge the subtle difference between "discovery" / and / "HOLY-SHIT-A-SHARK!" / {{More awesome and more accurate. Like a handshake-gun. }} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-02-17 |
| So Sacred | [[classical painting from Versailles of two baby-angels flying holding a strip of text, in Latin]] / I still don't understand what's so sacred about
/ chubby, bare-assed babies with superpowers. / {{...or why we give some of them lethal weapons.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-02-22 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-02-26">http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2010-02-26 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
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