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| Peace (Except in Video Games) | [[peace symbol]] / Except in video games. / {{...and at family reunions.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-03-18 |
| Types of People in the World | [[It is a Google search page with text in red written over it.]] / Search box: "two types of people in the world"
/ Results area: 5,280,000 / [[5,280,000 is circled in red.]] / Red Text: There are many types of people in this world, and so few of them give a shit about your petty distinctions. / ... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-03-20 |
| I Lungs New York | I [lungs] New York. / {{New York is actually pretty cool. Easier on the lungs than Toronto, anyway.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-03-23 |
| Oral Sex | Sperm talking to tooth: You look... different... / Narrator: Oral sex must be supremely disorienting for sperm. / [[a tooth and an individual sperm]] / {{He was expecting someone more... ovular. Enamel penetration was not covered in basic training.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-03-27 |
| The Fire Hydrant's Revenge | The Revenge: a short picture play / [[In panel one, a small dog sniffs at the base of a fire hydrant. IN the second panel, the dog is now gone, and the fire hydrant is spraying a stream of water into the space that he had previously occupied]] / {{In Soviet Russia...}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-03-31 |
| Faking Your Death on April Fools' Day | Anyone who fakes his death on April Fools' Day
/ Kind of has it coming. / [[Cross headstone in graveyard. Inscription reads: Incipit Vita Nova]] / {{Today is April Fools' AND Opposite Day (first Wednesday of the month). I don't even know what to do with that.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-01 |
| The Modern Poetry Activity Book | [[A piece of paper. Text in all caps is written on in red, all other is text as typed on paper.]] / Text: The Modern Poetry Activity Book
/ Make Your Own Poem! / Shades of [[animation-switches between "Sapphire" and "Vermillion"]] <-- OBSCURE COLOR PINWHEEL
/ by _______________ <---- YOU'RE A POET!
/ you... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-02 |
| "Shot First" | You can argue about Han and Greedo all you want. I know exactly how it goes. Mal shot first. / [[The background image is of Nathan Fillion as Mal Reynolds in Firefly. Mal is pointing a pistol at someone who is not in the camera shot]] / {{I've been told that there are no straight men, just men who... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-03 |
| Alan Moore's Watchmen as a Text Adventure | [[Sideways text smilie face with blood red comma on its forehead]] / Welcome to the Watchmen graphic novel text adventure!
/ You are a hard-boiled masked crusader. You find yourself in an alley. Your compatriot, The Comedian, has just been killed. A dead dog lies on the pavement with a tire track through... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-06 |
| I Dreamed Everyone Had Sprouted Wings | Last night I dreamed that everyone in the world had sprouted wings.
/ At any moment we could spread our arms and disappear into the sky.
/ But instead we stayed in bed and bitched about the kinks in our feathers. / [[a batch of feathers lying on leaf covered ground]] / {{What weighs more, a pound of... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-07 |
| The Thinker | The Thinker: Okay, just play it cool. Look pensive and no one will notice you're not wearing pants. / [[The Thinker by Auguste Rodin]] / {{This strategy has never worked for me.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-08 |
| Snowman | The Menace of the Less-Than-Abominable Snowman
/ He's actually an okay guy..
/ It's just...
/ I dunno...
/ He could try harder sometimes. / [[bird's eye view looking down on snowman through snow covered branches]] / {{He's cousins with the curmudgeonly yeti.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-09 |
| Hindsight | [[woman with ice skates around her shoulders]] / Grandma says that only hindsight can make the past a beautiful place.
/ That everyone has always been ful of prejudice and brutality. / I just don't see how anyone could hate anyone in a world where ice cream costs a nickle. / {{I scream, you scream,... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-10 |
| Easter Bunny's Lament | [[There is a gray rabbit with a red bow around its neck. It lacks digits. There is a brown, ovoid lump behind it and a cigarette in its mouth. There is text to the right.]] / Easter Bunny: Spring... Humping... I get it.
/ But eggs? Chocolate eggs?
/ This holiday shit is getting ridiculous. / {{My greatest... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-13 |
| Pissing Off the Microsoft Word Paperclip | [[There is a Microsoft Word document. The Office Assistant (that annoying little paperclip guy) is on the right.]] / Document text: Since the dawn of time mankind has looked upon literrature, as the highest form of art. Shakespear is one of the greatest literrary figures, he is so much widespread that... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-16 |
| Guns Don't Kill People | [[bullet standing on end]] / I hate to admit it, but the N.R.A. is technically correct:
/ Guns don't kill people.
/ It's usually the bullets. / {{...you know, that come out of the guns.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-17 |
| War | [[cross gravestone]] / I sometimes feel that seeing the glory in war is like seeing the Emperor's new clothes.
/ Except everybody's naked. / {{War! What is it good for? #1 hit singles, apparently.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-20 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-22#.TydHGPuerVQ.facebook">http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-22#.TydHGPuerVQ.facebook | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Intro to Stoichiometry | [[Erlenmeyer flask with green liquid and vapour]] / CHEM 2202 is not useful for my degree. / And I don't want to take any stoichiometry. / But I would do anything to tell you that we have Chemistry together. / {{There's no "I" in Erlenmeyer flask.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-24 |
| No Way to Lose When You're Not Wearing Pants | My roommate started play loud music, so I stopped wearing pants.
/ She might be repulsed, and move out.
/ She might be intrigued, and fall in love.
/ There's pretty much no way to lose
/ when you're not wearing pants. / [[Pants on a laundry line]] / {{Pants pants pants!}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-27 |
| When You Cross a Bulldog and a Shitzu | What do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitzu?
/ A Punnett Square! / HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(PLEASEDON'THATEME)HAHAHAHA / {{I'm sorry, did I make you cross?}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-28 |
| Why Gendered Nouns in French Grammar Make No Sense | I still don't know which makes less sense:
/ Our antiquated notions of gender, / [[male sign]]
/ le f?ninisme
/ (feminism)
/ masculine noun / [[female sign]]
/ la masculinit?
/ (masculinity)
/ feminine noun / or French grammar. / {{Gender constructions in life and language seem equally arbitrary to me.... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-29 |
| End of the World | [[rusty pipes and bare wall, possibly concrete]] / It's the end of the world as we know it, and, truth be told, I don't see why we care so bloody much. / {{The end o' the world is a great excuse to blast The Final Countdown at inappropriate hours.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-04-30 |
| You Are a Light | [[There is a lit candle. It's pale green, if you care about that sort of thing. The text is in seperate lines, with the 2nd line (beginning "And") as the smallest and each after getting bigger.]] / Text: You are a light burning brightly in the dark.
/ And I am
/ A big
/ Dumb
/ Moth. / {{Actually, the whole... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-05-05 |
| Bertrand le Bleuet: Bilingual Adventures of a French Blueberry | Cette bande dessin?e n'est pas une all?gorie
/ politique. Elle traite du contraste entre
/ l'humour noir et la joie enfantine.
/ < http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-05-06 |
| What Facebook Does to Grammar | Status: Peter Chiykowski blames Facebook for his excessive use of the third person. / {{What kind of self-respecting comic would use Facebook for shameless self-promotion?}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-05-07 |
| Egyptian Gaming Pantheon | [[There is a title above three "modified" Egyptian gods, on a sandy background. The first is Anubis (the jackal-headed one) with a word bubble saying "Healz?" and a flag with a question mark. The second is Hathor (woman with cow horns that have a sun disk between them) whose left forearm is a rocket... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-05-11 |
| Canterbury Tales Plot Summary in Five Words | The Canterbury Tales: A Plot Summary / Knight: (Penis.) / Miller: Penis! / Reeve: Penis! / Man of Law: Penis? / Wife of Bath: Penis! / {{Can I get a "hola" from the medievalists in the house?}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-05-13 |
| Juvenile Delinquent | Text: You're only young once, but you can be immature forever / [["Young" and "juvenile" are crossed out, and replaced with "juvenile" and "delinquent," respectively. Below text, a crowbar lies accross the red marker presumably used to do so, with a small scribble in red near the tip.]] / {{Maybe "juvenile"... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-05-18 |
| Morpheus | Morpheus is a scary man. / [[The background image is of Laurence Fishburne as Morpheus in The Matrix. He is sitting in a leather armchair, and holding his hands out. In his right hand, there is a blue pill, which has been circled in blue and labeled "Viagra". In his left hand, there are several red... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-05-20 |
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