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| How Burning Fossil Fuels Combats the Dinosaur Threat | Remember, every time you burn fossil fuels you kill a baby dinosaur.
/ Do your part!
/ Use oil!
/ Help keep your homeland safe! / [[Baby dinosaur in egg, Canadian and U.S. flags]] / {{If I was going to dig for the ruins of Jurassic Park, I'd start in Iraq. All that jungle was just a distraction. Michael... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-14 |
| The Free the Stickman Movement | [[A stickman is digging out the side of an empty panel.]] / Stickman: When will I be free? / {{Stickman physics ignore the Mohs Scale of Hardness, elsewise this little man would be reduced to digging with stubs, and it would be easier to answer his question: "Never. Also, you have no arms."}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-15 |
| This Little Piggy Better Watch Its Back | And this little piggy owed money to the mob / [[There is a silhouette of a foot, with the smallest toe missing, and blood running down it from the area where that toe used to be. Next to the foot are a pair of scissors, also with blood on them. At the bottom of the panel there is the silhouette of the... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-16 |
| There One Thousand Little Worlds Inside Your Head | [[single rose in a vase graphic; lettering is randomly stylized]] / TherE are one thousand Little Worlds inside your head,
/ but THAT doesn't make you crazy. It makes you sane. / {{...}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-19 |
| The Sound of One Hand Clapping | The sound
/ of one hand
/ clapping is
/ masturbation / [[a hand with a word smeared on its palm]] / {{This one goes out to 98% of males aged 16 to 21.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-22 |
| There's Nothing You Can Say to Make Me Love You More Except... | At this point, there's nothing you can do or say that would make me love you more... ...With the possible exception of bouncy balls. / [[there are two multicolored spheres against a white background]] / {{My idea of love is pocket change, a vending machine, and a little piece of rubber. I guess I'm... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-23 |
| We Will Become Statues | When we grow old, we will become statues. We will stand silent and watch the commuters scurry to and fro.
/ But when the moon rises and the lamps are lit, we will creep from our pedestals.
/ We will laugh with abandon and shit on pigeons until the morning comes. / [[statue carrying two large bags]] / {{I... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-26 |
| Spartan Living Space | People keep telling
/ me I have a very
/ Spartan living space. / Which is weird, because
/ I've never drenched it in
/ the blood of my enemies. / [[stick figure standing in a bedroom holding a bloody severed head]] / {{My feng shui manual doesn't have a section on severed heads.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-27 |
| Ignorance Is Not Bliss | [[A chest x-ray, with a mass in the left lung circled. There is text near the top and bottom.]] / Upper text: ignorance is not bliss,
/ Lower text: and what you don't know can hurt you. / {{I could say something clever here, but instead I'm just going to link you to the admirable Canadian Cancer So... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-28 |
| Charles Darwin, Angel of Natural Selection | Narrator: I know he's up there, looking down on us from the clouds...
/ Narrator: Charles Darwin, Angel of Natural Selection. / {{"I hate giraffes. Pow! I hate chimps. Pow! Darwin ex machina, motherf***ers!"}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-29 |
| Necrophilia | [[There are three coffins with crosses, with text above. Footprints in brown lead to the middle one, which has a pair of red hanprints on it. Red footprints lead away.]] / NECROPHILIA
/ Bringing poignant new meaning to the expression: "Crack open a cold one." / {{There is nothing this sad little text... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-30 |
| If Escher Made Video Games | [["Relativity," by M.C. Escher, with stairs and people climbing them in all directions. The lithograph has two Port-style portals and a companion cube drawn into it.]] / If Escher made video games oh wait he pretty much did. / Underneath: (with apologies to Portal) / {{I think that the only responsible... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-02 |
| Pongo Knows What the Lady Dalmatians Like | Text above: 101 kids, just think about that. / [[Pongo, a dalmation, on a white, blobby background]] / Text below: Pongo knows what the ladies like. / {{They're not all Perdita's... but that doesn't mean they're not his. Pongo has the name and face of someone who's been around the block on more than... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-06 |
| I <3 Organ Donors | I (heart) organ donors. / [[Heart spurting arterial blood]] / {{...aaaaaaaaand now I'm thinking of the Monty Python organ donor sketch from The Meaning of Life.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-11 |
| A Valentine from a Biographical Historian | [[a heart]] / Narrator: St Valentine didn't resist when the soldiers came, even though they beat him to within an inch of his life. When he would not die, they dragged him through Rome and broke his body with the paving stones. They cut off his head while his heart still beat, and called it the Emperor's... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-13 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-14">http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-14 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Error Messages (I) | Text: Why does it seem like Macintosh's single greatest marketing tool is Windows itself? / [[An error message window]]
/ Text: I'm not gonna lie... I'm pretty high right now and I don't know WHAT just happened. Gimme a sec.
/ Button: I will not take this lying down. / [[Another error message window]]
/ Text:... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-17 |
| If Windows Error Messages Were Done by Winnie the Pooh | [[Gray background with three computer "error" message boxes in sequence.]] / Header: I GUESS I'D HAVE MORE SYMPATHY FOR THESE ERROR MESSAGES IF THEY WERE VOICED BY WINNE THE POOH. / Top error message: Oh, bother... Something's the matter. I guess I'll go have a look-see. Just don't go anywhere until... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-18 |
| Why Goth Guys Wear Cod Pieces at Clubs | [[spiked leather collar]] / I learned why Goth guys wear codpieces at clubs. / Never. Ever. Grind Goth girls without permission. / {{I see this as an interesting answer to the question: "Why are you dancing so awkwardly?"}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-19 |
| The Killer Whale Finally Lives Up to Its Name | [[There is a killer whale holding a bloody bucher's knife, with only the flukes in the water, with text above.]] / "What the hell," Willy decided, "Maybe there IS something in a name." / {{Whenever I see a meat cleaver on a computer screen, in my head I start hearing The Butcher's voice actor from... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-20 |
| How You Know You've Been Working Construction Too Long | Each day I climb the ladder to the crane with hands that tremble.
/ One day I will break, but for now I just whisper to myself.
/ "This is not the time
/ Or the place
/ For Whac-A-Mole." / [[orange crane]] / {{This game doesn't even take quarters.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-23 |
| How To Diss Using Science | Narrator: After what you said about science being stupid, I wished you'd never been born. [[baby face]]
/ Narrator: I wished you'd never been conceived. [[unhappy sperm]]
/ Narrator: Meiosis was wasted on you. [[meiosis]]
/ Narrator: You shame the beautiful improbability of life, [[H20, CH4, NH3, and H2... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-24 |
| Danger: Falling Sharks | Narrator: Creative mischief makes the world a beautiful place.
/ Sign: Danger: Falling Sharks. / {{YESYESYES.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-26 |
| More than One Way to Skin a Human | [[There is a kitten sitting with blood around its mouth and paws. Its eyes are closed, and it might be smiling, kinda. There is text above and below.]] / Text above: After a series of illuminating incidents, Muffin determined that there was only one wat to skin a human. / Text below: But that was okay... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-02-27 |
| The Blob That Loved Everybody | [[smiling blob over-looking city; text getting progressively smaller]] / The city will never be the same again...
/ The blob that loved everybody and really paid attention when you talked.
/ Even when it wasn't about anything important.
/ Because maybe sometimes it's nice to be listened to without having... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-03-03 |
| Klondike Bar | [[Klondike Bar with red marks, probably blood stains]] / Now you know. / {{Now you know that I would spray ketchup on it to make it less appetizing.}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-03-05 |
| What Aesop's Fables Really Teach Us | Aesop's beast fables
/ Do not teach us
/ To be wise
/ Or honest
/ Or kind.
/ They simply show us
/ What will happen
/ If we dick around
/ With talking animals. / [[black bird, possibly a crow or raven]] / {{I'm still convinced that "sour grapes" just means "bruised testicles."}} http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-03-06 |
| Last Night I Seduced the Moon | I am a terrible person. Last night I built a tower into the sky and seduced the moon. I told her I loved her and I made her love me. I was so happy, but still I broker her heart, just so I could tell her she was going through a phase. / [[We see a white stick figure sitting on some sort of tower with... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-03-09 |
| How to Travel Through Time By Screwing Around With the Canon | [[There is text above 4 panels.]]
/ Text Time travel in two dimensions is always a little more... fun. / [[A stickman stands next to a cannon. The cannon is aimed to the right, and smoking. The panel wall is broken.]]
/ Stickman: Did it work? / [[There is smoke leaking in from the panel to the left.... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-03-10 |
| The Pie You Baked While I Was in Prison | [[There is a pie with a heart inscribed in the crust on a pair of oven mitts on a black background. The right half of the image has inverted colors.]] / Text on left: I got the pie you baked for me while I was in prison, and I already knew what I'd find when I looked beneath the crust. / Text on right:... http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-03-13 |
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