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a class="searchlink" href="http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php#news-01">http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php#news-01 [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://rockpapercynic.com/index2.php">http://rockpapercynic.com/index2.php [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2012-02-24#.T0grinf2Q1Q.facebook">http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2012-02-24#.T0grinf2Q1Q.facebook [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date%E2%80%A6">http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date%E2%80%A6 [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
Smashing Pumpkins Jack o'Lanterns, like many things in life, are best when full of bees. / Go ahead... / smash it... / I dare you. / {{He's going to be in a world of hurt and ointment.}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-10-31
 
Defeatism I'll race you to defeatism... / you win. / {{Stop cheating.}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-11-03
Tapeworm Congratulations! It's a tapeworm! / [[Tapeworm delivery by a stick figure as a parody of human childbirth]] / {{Worst. Pregnancy. Ever.}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-11-07
Why So Serious? [[A Happy Meal carton with a Joker smile.]] / Why so serious? / {{I hear that Chicken McNuggets share 3 common ingredients with most home-grade explosives.}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-11-10
Klein Bottle A Klein bottle is what happens when a mathematician disappears up his own asshole. / {{FFfffssshhhhhoooooop! That's the sound it makes.}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-11-12
The Time Machine Follow me! / Stickman: No. Wait! / [[He is axed in the head by a stickman.]] / Stickman: At last I've fought my way through to the time machine! / Stickman: Now I'm in the past! / Stickman from last panel: No you're not. I am. / Stickman: Shush. / Stickman: But hold on... If I'm in a new timeline,...
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-11-14
 
Rock, Paper, Scissors in the Age of Chivalry Chivalry would have been different if you could play "Rock, Paper, Scissors" with gauntlets on. / Stickman: Screw it. Let's joust. / {{This explains the advent of "Rock, Paper, Broadsword."}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-11-19
Silly Putty in the Age of Reason We live in an ordered universe where all things are governed by rational laws... / ...except for silly putty. That shit's just crazy. / {{Silly putty is the sixth element. True story.}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-11-21
How to Make Chekhov's Gun Sound Silly One of these days someone will write a play about pacificsts in a gun store. It will be called... / Chekhov was a Filthy Liar. / {{In this play, Chekhov's gun fires out a little flag that says "BANG!" / I've had a few requests from people who want to write plays like this. Please, go for it and let...
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-11-26
How Philosophy Can Save Your Life in a Cartoon [[Stickman is in the desert, sun beating down. He is holding his thought bubble over his head and clearly suffering.]] / Stickman: ...Think big thoughts. Think big thoughts... / {{Metaphysics: SPF 120.}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-11-28
A Picture is Sometimes Worth Blackmail Too A picture's worth 1000 words... or like... one lawsuit. / / [[a photograph of two stick figures having sex "doggy style"]] / {{"Subpoena" sounds like a dirty word.}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-12-01
 
On the Boyhood Wish To Be an Astronaut [[an astronaut in space]] / What nobody knew at the / time was that it was the / astronaut who wanted to / be the little boy. / {{In space, no one can hear you wax nostalgic.}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-12-03
A Defense of Teddy Bears A DEFENSE OF TEDDY BEARS / The world doesn't get any less scary as we grow up. but somehow we're asked to shed the icons of our childhood so we can become big people. / FUCK THAT. / There's some impossible property in their stuffing which soaks up all of our anger and fear and uncertainty. / We try...
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-12-08
Clams Are Better Than Words I wanted to tell you you're a wonderful person and I admire you. But instead I got scared and drew you a happy clam. / [[smiling pearl inside a clam]] / I hope you like it. / {{Nothing says 'I Love You' like a well-contented mollusc.}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-12-12
a class="searchlink" href="http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-12-16#.TwNG-IgIaEs.facebook">http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-12-16#.TwNG-IgIaEs.facebook [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
YouTube Is Terrifying [[gray Venn diagram; left side has more space than the right. Tiny overlap.]] / Left side: THINGS INVOLVING HAMSTERS: 64,400 HITS / Right side: THINGS INVOLVING MICROWAVES: 17,200 HITS / Overlap: THINGS THAT MAKE WE WONDER WHY YOUTUBE ISN'T ILLEGAL: 31 HITS / {{(A) = things that show how badly I...
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-12-23
 
Sarcasm Warning Sign: Warning: If sarcasm was chlorine gas, you'd be dead right now. / {{I wish sarcasm was/were cotton candy. Then heaven would be a diabetic coma, and grace would be insulin.}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-12-24
How a Bad-Ass Turtle Crosses the Road TO HELL WITH CROSSWALKS, / [[unimpressed turtle with tire tracks on back]] / I AM A /TURTLE/. / {{Just what you wanted: a turtle that doesn't know the meaning of the word "roadkill."}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-12-26
Father Narrator: There were nights when the air raid sirens screamed and the passing of planes would shake the shutters. / Narrator: On these nights my father and I sheltered in the basement, waiting for the noises to fade. / Narrator: "There's nothing to fear but fear itself," he would tell me. / Narrator:...
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-12-29
Stapleface Is the Worst Superpower Narrator: Stapleface is a largely unhappy superhero. His power is that he has a staple in his face. / [[man with staple in face]] / {{Stapleface has an awesome name, but an unfortunate power. I think we all know which is more important.}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-12-30
When Schopenhauer Writes Fortune Cookies Narrator: We had problems the day that Schopenhauer wrote the fortune cookies. / Fortune: Human existence must be a kind of error. / Fortune: The worst is yet to come. / {{... in the bedroom.}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2008-12-31
 
A Google New Year Google Search: "You don't need to get me anything." / Google: "Did you mean: You better damn well get me SOMETHING." / Narrator: Sometimse I feel like Google is better at long term relationships than I am. / {{Based on a true story?}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-02
The Three Estates of the Canadian Winter Narrator: In the deep of Canadian winter, there are three estates: / Narrator: Those who fight, / Narrator: Those who pray, / Narrator: And those who shovel. / {{When the revolution comes, we'll pull them into the streets and put them up against the snowbanks. The snowball firing squads will cause them...
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-05
Monarch Butterflies are Assholes SO DELICATE. THEY GROW UP SO FAST... / [[monarch butterfly]] / AND THEN THEY DEVOUR THEIR YOUNG. / {{SERIOUSLY!}}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-06
The Key to My Heart is Physics [[key in a pool of blood]] / So it turns out the key to my heart / was any jagged piece of metal. / {{Ech. }}
http://rockpapercynic.com/index.php?date=2009-01-07

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