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| LOL OMGWTFBBQ (#66) | [[Man checking a text message on his cell phone]]
/ Text read: "L2G mt MOOS TAM? L8R"
/ Man: What the crap does that mean? I need a decoder ring or something. / [[Two week later]]
/ Man: Cool, the decoder ring I ordered finally got here. Let's see what the message said. / Man: It says, "Your friend is... http://waxturds.com/2009/05/29/lol-omgwtfbbq-66/ |
| No more tears (#67) | [[A large eyeball in a bathrobe is holding a bottle of shampoo]] / [[Zoom in on the bottle, which says: "No More Tears Shampoo"]] / {{title text: Don't ask where he's using that shampoo.}} http://waxturds.com/2009/06/01/no-more-tears-67/ |
| "Hella" (#68) | [[A man and a woman are talking]]
/ Man: Hey, did you see that famous TV show everyone's talking about last night? I thought it was hella good!
/ Woman: Whoa whoa WHOA! / Woman: Did you just say "hella"? / Man: I sure did! Is that a problem or something?
/ Woman: Well here in "SoCal" we don't say that!... http://waxturds.com/2009/06/02/hella-68/ |
| Turns out, not so much. (#69) | [[Two men talking]]
/ Man: Wow, we both came up with the same idea!
/ Other man: I guess great minds really do think alike. / Other man: Wait...if only great minds think alike, where does that leave the not so great minds? / [[Two dumb dudes talking, one is holding a lighter]]
/ Dumb dude: Bro! Let's... http://waxturds.com/2009/06/03/turns-out-not-so-much-69/ |
| Oh yeah, smack that ass. (#70) | [[Man]]
/ Man: Man, check out that ass! I'd love to hit that. / [[Man slapping a donkey]] / {{title text: A little obvious, I suppose.}} http://waxturds.com/2009/06/04/oh-yeah-smack-that-ass-70/ |
| Welcome to Washington D.C. (#72) | [[Two men talking]]
/ Man: So I just got back from D.C.
/ Other man: Oh cool. Did you see Obama? / Man: Oh of course. He greets every visitor at the airport. It's not like he has anything better to do. / [[Man at the airport in D.C., where Obama is greeting people at a booth]]
/ Man: Sweet. / {{title... http://waxturds.com/2009/06/08/welcome-to-washington-dc-72/ |
| Freedom's Penis (#74) | [[Two tourists look in awe at the Washington Monument]]
/ Tourist: Wow...the Washington Monument is so...majestic. / Tourist: I wish there was some way to bring it home with me. / [[Man wearing new shirt, with a picture of the Washington Monument on it. The monument starts at the bottom of the shirt,... http://waxturds.com/2009/06/10/freedoms-penis-74/ |
| Some women like pink (#76) | [[A scientist, who is holding a flask of pink liquid, and a man are talking]]
/ Man: Whatcha working on, my scientist friend?
/ Scientist: I'm attempting to create a new alcoholic beverage: / Scientist: The first truly hangover-free intoxicating drink! / Man: Hey that's a good idea! How close are you... http://waxturds.com/2009/06/12/some-women-like-pink-76/ |
| I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board (#77) - Remake! | [[Two men talking, one at a computer]]
/ Computer man: I'm about to login to 4chan.
/ Man: 4chan...you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. / [[Closeup on computer screen]]
/ Computer man: This guy keeps posting dick pictures after my posts.
/ Man: He doesn't like you. Tell him you... http://waxturds.com/2009/06/15/i-recognized-your-foul-stench-when-i-was-brought-on-board-72-remake/ |
| The only way to calm a monster (#78) | [[A giant monster stands above the Washington Monument]]
/ Monster: RAWR!! / [[The giant monster looks at the Washington Monument, and recognizes the shape as very penis-like]] / [[The giant monster sits down on the Washington Monument, and appreciates the length and girth of Freedom's Penis]]
/ Monster:... http://waxturds.com/2009/06/16/the-only-way-to-calm-a-monster-78/ |
| Cat vs. Cat Burglar (#79) | [[Bike Guy speaking to a cat burglar]]
/ Bike Guy: So I need to make this cat disappear...think you can handle it?
/ Cat burglar: Well, I am a cat burglar. / [[Later, cat burglar sneaks up on cat]] / [[Cat burglar goes to grab cat]] / [[Cat burglar holds up cardboard cutout of cat]]
/ Cat burglar: What...what... http://waxturds.com/2009/06/17/cat-vs-cat-burglar-79/ |
| If I ruled the world (#80) | [[Two men talking]]
/ Man: You sure do complain a lot about the world. How would things be different if you were in charge?
/ Other man: Well... / [[A sedan with Stegosaurus fins]]
/ Other man: ...everyone would drive around in dinosaur cars... / [[A flying sting ray plane]]
/ Other man:...fly in sting... http://waxturds.com/2009/06/18/if-i-ruled-the-world-80/ |
| Jumping on the bandwagon (#81) | [[Bike Guy observes a wagon going by, which has a Rolling Stones logo on the side]] / [[Bike Guy gets a great idea]] / [[Bike Guy jumps on the band wagon]] / {{title text: The Rolling Stones were in the Wagon, get it?}} http://waxturds.com/2009/06/19/jumping-on-the-bandwagon-81/ |
| Uh-oh, the Earth asplode (#84) | [[A man approaches another man, who is drawing a pictures on canvas]]
/ Man: Whatcha drawing?
/ Artist: Oh, just some comics. / [[Zoom to the canvas, which is a drawing of the same scene, with has a drawing of the same scene within, and on and on.]] / [[Zoom out to the Earth exploding]] / {{title text:... http://waxturds.com/2009/06/24/uh-oh-the-earth-asplode-84/ |
| Squeezed from the beaker (#85) | [[A man drinking orange juice is talking to another man]]
/ OJ man: Man, SunnyD is probably the best orange juice.
/ Man: I hate to break it to you... / Man: But you don't squeeze a fruit for that shit. You squeeze, like, a beaker or something. / [[Image of Beaker, from the Muppet Show]]
/ Beaker: Mee-mee-mee / {{title... http://waxturds.com/2009/06/25/squeezed-from-the-beaker-85/ |
| Point Break is always the wrong answer (#86) | [[Three surfers sitting on boards in the ocean]]
/ Surfer 1: So what's your favorite surf movie? Mine is Endless Summer.
/ Surfer 2: I think mine is Big Wednesday. / Surfer 3: Mine is totally Point Break. / [[Surfers 1 and 2 are swimming away from surfer 3]]
/ Surfer 3: Hey...where are you guys going? / {{title... http://waxturds.com/2009/06/26/point-break-is-always-the-wrong-answer-86/ |
| Apple of my eye (#87) | [[A father and son, next to a table]]
/ Father: Hey, there's the apple of my eye. / [[Zoom in on apple sitting on table]] / [[Son is disappointed]]
/ Father: Could you please move, son? I can't see my apple. / {{title text: It's funny because it's cruel AND punny.}} http://waxturds.com/2009/06/29/apple-of-my-eye-87/ |
| Are you sure that's your name? (#88) | [[Two men drinking beer]]
/ Man: I have a very elaborate and foolproof method for remembering people's names.
/ Other man: Oh, really? How does it work? / Man: I incorporate the person's name and face into something I know very well. Example: You, Mark, are associated with a childhood memory at a carnival. / Other... http://waxturds.com/2009/06/30/are-you-sure-thats-your-name-88/ |
| My hair is so full of body (#89) | [[Man holding bottle of shampoo, pondering it]]
/ Man: Woah..."placenta" shampoo? / [[Man imagining himself showering with the shampoo, and later growing a baby out of his head]] / [[Man holding bottle of shampoo, pondering it]]
/ Man: Rad. / {{title text: Since this shampoo is real, I have a few questions:... http://waxturds.com/2009/07/01/my-hair-is-so-full-of-body-89/ |
| You've screwed me again, independence (#91) | [[A T.rex approaches two men, one of whom is a Paleontologist]]
/ T.rex: RAWR! / Paleontologist: Don't move! Their vision is based on movement. / T.rex: RAWR!! / Man: It's not working! He's still coming!
/ T.rex: RAWR! / [[Paleontologist is shown to be holding a flag cake]]
/ Paleontologist: Shit! It... http://waxturds.com/2009/07/03/youve-screwed-me-again-independence-91/ |
| Faces are hard to draw, ok? Jeez. (#92) | [[Two men speaking to each other]]
/ Man: Man, that was a pretty mean thing to say.
/ Other man: What do you mean? That was obviously a joke.
/ Man: Oh. Well, it's hard to tell sometimes, since, well, you don't have a face. / [[Caption, with picture of author speaking]]
/ Jason: Screw you guys. It's hard... http://waxturds.com/2009/07/06/faces-are-hard-to-draw-ok-jeez-92/ |
| We must put a stop to suffrage (#93) | [[Woman holding sign, which reads "End Women's Suffrage! Vote NO on 7"]]
/ Man: You're being ironic or something, right? / [[Caption: A descendant of "No Child Left Behind" wonders what the word ironic means.]] / {{title text: I'm sure this has been done a million times before. But how many times has... http://waxturds.com/2009/07/07/we-must-put-a-stop-to-suffrage-93/ |
| Rubber shirts that only come in XXXL? WIN (#94) | [[Man wearing green rubber shirt similar to Crocs shoes]]
/ Text: From the makers of Crocs...ManaTEEs! / {{title tex: Don't act like you think this is a bad idea. You know it's fantastic, and would probably make me millions if I weren't so lazy.}} http://waxturds.com/2009/07/08/rubber-shirts-that-only-come-in-xxxl-sea-cow-for-the-win-94/ |
| The bigger kids are always mean (#95) | [[The solar system, with all planets in frame]]
/ Jupiter: Sucks not to be a planet anymore, Pluto.
/ Sun: Do you even orbit me?
/ Uranus: Why don't you go hang out with the other dwarfs, queer.
/ Pluto: You guys suck. / {{title text: Poor little guy.}} http://waxturds.com/2009/07/09/the-bigger-kids-are-always-mean-95/ |
| Three wishes (#96) | [[Man rubbing magic lamp, genie comes out]]
/ Genie: You have rubbed a magic lamp, so you get three wishes. / [[Man has a giant pile of money behind him, with two sexy ladies wanting to get down and dirty, and you can see an insanely long penis through running down his pant leg]] / {{title text: First... http://waxturds.com/2009/07/10/three-wishes-96/ |
| Usually out of spite (#97) | [[Man talking to Bike Guy, who is putting a sign up on a telephone poll]]
/ Man: Hey Bike Guy, what are you putting up a sign for? / Bike Guy: Well, I'm trying to give away my cat. Any interest? / [[Closeup on sign: Picture of cat, below says, "Free cat! Very loving and smart. Poops alot, usually out... http://waxturds.com/2009/07/13/usually-out-of-spite-97/ |
| So that's why... (#98) | [[Sexy alien woman descending from flying saucer, towards a man]]
/ Alien: I come from a planet of nympho bisexual women, and my only desire in the universe is to have crazy alien sex with you. / Alien: Assuming, of course, you are a Scientologist. / [[Caption below: Tom Cruise decided to become a Scientologist]] / {{title... http://waxturds.com/2009/07/14/so-thats-why-98/ |
| Cat vs. Therapist (#99) | [[Cat sitting on couch in therapist office]]
/ Therapist: So tell me Stevens, why do you think you poop out of spite? Did your mother not give you enough milk as a kitten? / [[Closeup on Stevens' face]] / [[A fresh turd is now on the therapist's desk]]
/ Therapist: I seem to have struck a nerve. / {{title... http://waxturds.com/2009/07/15/cat-vs-therapist-99/ |