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| D.A. Falcon | [[A courtroom]]
/ DA (narrating): Being an attorney, I occaisonally get some pretty dumb cases. / DA (narrating): In fact, that's what most of my cases are. / DA (narrating): But this is probably the dumbest case I've ever taken. / Judge: We will now begin the court case of Sampson vs. Jass. Please rise. / {{Alt-text: If you're thinking the people in the audience look way too small, DON'T BE A JERK! MIDGETS HAVE FEELINGS TOO!}} http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/ |
| D.A. Falcon | [[A courtroom]]
/ DA (narrating): Being an attorney, I occaisonally get some pretty dumb cases. / DA (narrating): In fact, that's what most of my cases are. / DA (narrating): But this is probably the dumbest case I've ever taken. / Judge: We will now begin the court case of Sampson vs. Jass. Please rise. / {{Alt-text: If you're thinking the people in the audience look way too small, DON'T BE A JERK! MIDGETS HAVE FEELINGS TOO!}} http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/ |
| Pg2 | Judge: Okay, you may now present your cases to the court. / Judge: And if you can, make it quick. http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/2/ |
| Pg3 | [[The District Court House, at the trial of Sampson v. Jass]] / Judge: [[confused look]] 'Rented' food? / Lawyer: Yes, your honor. During the digestive process, the food you put into your body is broken down and eventually absorbed into the small intestines, then distributed outised the body as waste.
/ [[aside:]] Er, in other words, it all ends up in the crapper... / Sampson: That's right- that man made me and other poor customers pay for food that we can't even keep!
/ DA Falcon: [[off panel]] *Cough* Psycho. / DA Falcon: [[Innocent looking]] What? / DA Falcon: However, your honor, my client claims that his customers pay for the preparation of the food. / Jass: That's right. / Jass: Even our slogan says, "We make it, you pay for it." / Judge: Well that hardly seems like a solid case... / DA Falcon: [[Thinking]] And his does? http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/3/ |
| Pg4 | [[The District Court House, at the trial of Sampson v. Jass]] / [[Sampson stands, holding a receipt]]
/ Sampson: Here, your honor. Take a look at this. / [[Judge takes receipt]]
/ Judge: Let me see... / [[Receipt is from Burger Bastion. It reads:
/ Burger Bastion / burger for $4.50,
/ fries for $2.00,
/ another burger for $4.50,
/ more fries for $2.00 / Thank you!
/ And come again!
/ (see back for coupon and other crap)]]
/ Sampson: It's a receipt from Burger Bastion. Like every other receipt, it charges for the food ordered. / DA Falcon: Holy nuggets of irony! I've been waiting for something like this all day! / DA Falcon: [[With enormous flourish and giant, stylized letters]] OBJECTION! / {{title-text: PLEASE FORGIVE ME, IT WAS A CHEAP MOVE MAKING THAT REFERENCE. But I did it anyway. I swear I won't do it again. Maybe.}} http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/4/ |
| Pg5 | [[The District Court House, at the trial of Sampson v. Jass]] / DA Falcon: Mr. Sampson's lawyer claims that the receipt charges you for the food ordered, but that's just speculation! / DA Falcon: Technically, it's not even speculation. It's just a load of BS! / DA Falcon: Couldn't I give the same cas that the receipt charges for the food prepared? / [[Sampson, shocked]]
/ DA Falcon: Plus, he's obviously a yeti in disguise! / {{title-text: BS stands for beef stew.}} http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/5/ |
| Pg6 | [[The District Court House, at the trial of Sampson v. Jass]]
/ Sampson: < http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/6/ |
| SF4 | Sideburns: We're on it, Chief Wulfsheim! / And so...
/ Face: Sideburns...
/ Face: Tell me again why we're at an amusement park? / Sideburns: Think about it. Where's the last place you would expect such a big time crime lord to be? / Sideburns: That's right! An amusement park! Criminals hate amusement, and he knows we know that. Ergo, he must be here! / Face: That's stupid. But I guess we do get a good view from up here--we might be able to spot some suspicious activity.
/ Sideburns: Yeah. Also, I like amusement park popcorn.
/ Sideburns: And I wanna ride some roller coasters http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/4/4/ |
| Pg26 | CRASH / Well that was convenient... / C'mon, I've got an idea / CRAZED LOOK / FEAR http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/2/26/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/5/40/">http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/5/40/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |