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| #541 - Serious Fighting | {{Comic 541}} {{Serious Fighting}} / [[Kari Proctor and Valeria Steele in the gym]]
/ Kari: ...Seven, purely defensive combat. Eight, effectively incapacitating an opponent long enough to escape. Nine, capturing with minimal harm. And then ten, outright trying to kill someone. Or some THING.
/ Val: He's way over-thinking all this. What you need comes down to three moves.
/ Kari: And those are? / Val: Slapping, scratching, and hair-pulling.
/ Kari: Wait.. You mean... WHA...? / Val: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That was great! / [[a goblin spectates]]
/ Kari: What is it about martial arts that makes teachers want to mess with their students?
/ Val: No idea. Want to try hitting me with a stick? / {{Oh, wait! I forgot blouse-tearing!}}
/ {[Appearances:}} {[Kari Proctor}} {{Valeria Steele}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic541.html |
| #542 - Focus | {{Comic 542}} {{Focus}} / [[Valeria Steele and Kari Proctor are in the gym]]
/ Val: Okay, let's spar a bit, and use what we've covered today. Really try to connect. And mix things up so I don't know what to expect.
/ Kari: Let's do it! / <<*Thwip* *hwap* *bap* *whap* *thock!*>>
/ Val: Good!
/ Kari: Thank! I was trying to use a reverse... / Val: YAA!
/ <<*THUD!*>> / Kari: Oh yeah. "Talking isn't fighting."
/ Val: Very good.
/ Kari: While I'm down here, can I just say that...
/ Val: Talking is also not getting up and trying again! / {{Even if I'm talking about getting up?}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Valeria Steele}} {{Kari Proctor}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic542.html |
| #543 - Feedback | {{Comic 543}} {{Feedback}} / [[Valeria Steele and Kari Proctor wrestle in the gym]]
/ Val: For someone who's been doing this less than a year, you're all right.
/ Kari: Thanks! For as much as he likes to talk, Eldritch is a pretty good teacher. / Val: Heh. I bet you've never told him that.
/ Kari: Sure! I've... well I guess I've never said that in so many words. I should probably mention it. / Val: Not telling you what to do.
/ Kari: I know.
/ Val: I'm just saying that sometimes people like to hear things said.
/ Kari: You're right. I really should let him know. / [[A gaggle of object-oriented gnomes peeks in]]
/ Kari: Mostly, I haven't because I don't want him to get a swelled head.
/ Val: Oh, you're way to late to stop that. / {{And yet, nobody's ever thanked me for telling them how annoying they are.}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Valeria Steele}} {{Kari Proctor}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic543.html |
| #544 - Stumptown Comics Fest | {{Comic 544}}{{Stumptown Comics Fest}} / [[Dr. Eldritch, Trevor, and Kari Proctor outside Stumptown Comics Fest]]
/ Eldritch: So you think you should have a comic all about you?
/ Trevor: Why aren't they open yet? / Eldritch: So it would be about eating things, watching TV, and engaging in risky shenanigans.
/ Trevor: See! It's perfect!
/ Kari: Actually, I would like to read that.
/ Narrator: To be continued... / {{It's okay; everyone will just think Trevor has an awesome costume}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Trevor}} {{Kari Proctor}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic544.html |
| #545 - Trevor Comics | {{Comic 545}} {{Trevor Comics}}
/ {{Banner: Risky Shenanigans The Comic About Trevor and Ping!}} / [[Trevor and Ping watch TV in the basement. Trevor holds ten whole cooked chickens.]]
/ Ping: Commercial's on! Ready... and go!
/ < http://askdreldritch.com/comic545.html |
| #546 - Trevor Comics 2 | {{Comic #546)) {{Trevor Comics 2}} / [[Trevor and Ping in the basement]]
/ [[Risky Shenaningans. The comic about Trevor and Ping!]]
/ Ping: I can't believe the day we just had.
/ TrevorL I know.
/ TV: Next on Lifetime everyone thought Stephanie was a normal high-school girl... / Ping: You ate the world's largest cheeseburger, then we had a fireworks battle. After you ate a dozen pizzas, we built and launched a cardboard submarine.
/ TV: Bye mom! I'm off to choir practice!
/ TV: Wait, Stephanie. I'm worried about you. / Ping: But then you ate so many chicken taquitos that you passed out, and we smashed your wagon riding it down Dead Man's Hill! You could have died!
/ TV: You're not anorexic or pregnant, or having unprotected sex or being bullied, or dealing drugs, or stuck in an abusive codependent relationship or evenb secretly stripping to pay for liposuction! You're... you're...happy! / Trevor: Yeah! It was a great day!
/ Ping: I can't wait for tomorrow!
/ TV: Where did we go wrong?!
/ TV: Mom! People are staring! / {{Too bad they won't be able to name it Dead TROLL'S Hill!}} / [[Fifth Panel - Trevor and Ping at a precipice]]
/ Ping: I don't know. It looks awfully steep from here.
/ Trevor: Well, we can't just WALK back down now.
/ Ping: Good point! http://askdreldritch.com/comic546.html |
| #547 - Simple Question | {{Comic 547}} {{Simple Question}} / [[Dr. Eldritch and Kari Proctor eat in the breakfast nook. The view is from Mt. Tabor today.]]
/ Eldritch: Val says you two have been sparring daily. How's that been?
/ Kari: Well, to be honest, it's caused some mixed emotions. I mean hanging out with Val is awesome. / Kari: I thought she'd given up being all into me, but I noticed that after our sessions, I don't see Ping around for awhile, so you know what that means. Which I think should worry me, but it doesn't, really. So I wonder if I'm more into the possibilities than I thought I was. But every time I start thinking about that, I ask myself what it is I really WANT, and end up going in circles, trying to tell what I truly feel. / Kari: The fact that I'm even THINKING about these things means that there's more to my feelings than just friendship, right? But I still wonder if it's riskier to our relationship to see where those feelings take us, or to just be happy with the way things are and doing stuff together. / Eldritch: I just meant whether you were improving your combat skills?
/ Kari: Of course I am. But why wouldn't you want the important information? / {{And if you want, I can go on about it for awhile...}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Kari Proctor}} {{Portland, Oregon}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic547.html |
| #548 - Quiz | {{Comic 548}} {{Quiz}} / [[Dr. Eldritch and Kari Proctor exercise in the Mounthgate gym]]
/ Eldritch: Time for a pop quiz!
/ Kari: A taste test between Tab and Diet RC?
/ Eldritch: Very droll. No, your question is: How can you identify a fake psychic? / Kari: Try to hit them in the head with a mallet?
/ Eldritch: Heh. That is fun. But not what I'm thinking.
/ Kari: Have them guess how much change is in my pocket?
/ Eldritch: Not bad. But there's an even better way. / Kari: Please tell me, Wise One.
/ Eldritch: When they describe the source of their "abilities" them mention energies, vibrations, auras, or chakras.
/ Kari: That's it? / Eldritch: Well, also if their services cost $1.99 per minute on your phone bill.
/ Kari: I'll stick with the mallet. / {{You can also tell them a funny joke, but only THINK the punchline}}
/ {{Appearances:}}{{Dr. Eldritch}}{{Kari Proctor}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic548.html |
| #549 - Nice | {{Comic 549}} {{Nice}} / [[Dr. Eldritch and Kari Proctor are in the Mounthgate firing range]]
/ Kari: I think it would be cool to read minds!
/ Eldritch: Yes. But most real psychics can't shut off the constant barrage of thoughts and premonitions. And eventually it drives them mad. / Kari: So, there's no happy medium?
/ Eldritch: Actually, there is, because...
/ < http://askdreldritch.com/comic549.html |
| #550 - Test | {{Comic 550}} {{Test}} / [[Dr. Eldritch, Sudbury, and Kari Proctor are in Dr. Eldritch's study]]
/ Eldritch: We'll go through one hundred of these Zener cards. I'll concentrate on each symbol, and you tell me which one you think it is.
/ Kari: Do I win a prize if I get them right?
/ Eldritch: No. / [[Zoom on Kari's face]]
/ Kari: Cross.
/ Eldritch: Very good. / Kari: Square.
/ Eldritch: Impressive. / Kari: Star
/ Eldritch: Hmm... / Kari: Cross again. / Kari: Wavy lines, like bacon! / Kari: Circle. / Kari: More Bacon. / Kari: Square. / Narration: 92 cards later...
/ Eldritch: Ninety-eight out of one hundred correct. I... I don't know what to say.
/ Kari: Woohoo! There's my prize! / {{I'm SO buying some lottery tickets now!}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Sudbury}} {{Kari Proctor}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic550.html |
| #551 - Powers | {{Comic 551}} {{Powers}} / [[Kari Proctor and Valeria Steele having barefoot beer on the cloud-watching hill]]
/ Kari: I've always felt that i was destined for something special, you know?
/ Val: You and ten million nerdlings.
/ Kari: Yeah, but for me, it's real! / Kari: THinking back, there have been times when I've had a feeling about what was going to happen, but I didn't realize that they were psychic predictions. Until now. It all makes sense! / Kari: I've been trying to predict things like coin flips and which celebrity will break up with someone today. I'm not always right, but I'm doing pretty well! Eldritch wants to do a thorough test in a couple days. I wonder if I can study for it?
/ Val: Uh huh. Tell me what I'm thinking. / Kari: This is all a load of hooey.
/ Val: Well, yeah. But that doesn't prove anything.
/ Kari: And I knew you'd say that! / {{Oh, but I didn't foresee Dom DeLuise's passing, may he rest in peace.}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Kari Proctor}} {{Valeria Steele}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic551.html |
| #552 - Disappointment | {{Comic 552}} {{Disappointment}} / [[Kari and Dr. Eldritch watch a VHS playback in the living room. A gnome watches from the china hutch]]
/ < http://askdreldritch.com/comic552.html |
| #553 - Reason | {{Comic 553}} {{Reason}} / [[Dr. Eldritch and Kari Proctor sit on a stone balustrade, looking out at the Oregon fog]]
/ Eldritch: Do you know why I allowed you to believe you were psychic?
/ Kari: To be MEAN?
/ Eldritch: How often do I do that, really?
/ Kari: Plenty. / Eldritch: We'll argue that later. Can you imagine any OTHER reason for why I did what I did?
/ Kari: Let's see, there's... nope. I can't think of any.
/ Eldritch: You're angry. I get that. / Eldritch: If I TOLD you that people yearn for something magical in their lives so much that they'll fall for the flimsiest evidence, you'd say "uh huh," and think you learned something. Instead, this episode, embarrassing as it may be, has given you an indelible understanding of it. / Kari: I'm trying to sulk here. Do we have to turn this into a learning experience.
/ Eldritch: Well, that WAS the whole point. / {{Next time, can we just watch the After School Special?}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Kari Proctor}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic553.html |
| #554 - Trade-Off | ((Comic 554}} {{Trade-Off}} / [[Evil Scout Ghost Robby and Evil Scout Ghost Bobby haunt Kari Proctor in her bedroom]]
/ ESG Robby: Hey, Bobby, what's a ghost's favorite body part?
/ ESG Bobby: Boooooobs! HEE! Boobs!
/ Kari: I told you guys to leave me alone.
/ ESG Robby: Yeah? What are you going to do about it?
/ Kari: Me? Nothing. / [[Enter the ghost of Great-Great-Great-Grandma Clara]]
/ Clara: BEGONE, YOU SCAMPS!
/ Kari: Meet great-grandma Clara.
/ ESG Bobby and Robby: AAUGH! A GHOST! / [[exeunt all ghosts]]
/ Clara [off-panel]: Get out of here and leave Kari alone or I'll give you the thrashing of your afterlives!
/ ESG Bobby and Robby [off-panel]: OW! OW! OW! / [[Great-Grandma Clara sits on bed]]
/ Clara: Those horrid boys shouldn't trouble you again.
/ Kari: I don't know how to thank you, great-grandma Clara!
/ Clara! Don't worry, dear. I do. We're going to have a talk about your love life. So why haven't you and your friend Val hooked up yet? She seems nice.
/ Kari: Oh, no! Please let this be a dream! / {{And you really should do something different about your hair.}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Kari Proctor}} {{Evil Scout Robby}} {{Evil Scout Bobby}} {{Great-Grandma Clara}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic554.html |
| #555 - Ancestral Wisdom | {{Comic 555}} {{Ancestral Wisdom}} / [[Kari Proctor and Great Grandma Clara are in Kari's room]]
/ Kari: ...and the most embarrassing thing is that I fell for it so easily. I did EXACTLY what he expected me to do. I think he's doing it just to irritate me.
/ Clara: And I think you're being a bit of a whiner, dear.
/ Kari: What? Me? / [[enter eavesdropping red haired fairy (not a pixie) in purple dress]]
/ Clara: Yes, you. It seems every time I visit, you tell me about how you've been upset of inconvenienced. But didn't you WANT this arrangement? Isn't that Eldritch fellow doing exactly what you asked of him?
/ Kari: Yes, but... / Clara: Then be a grown-up girl about it. I daresay you'd be a fair bit happier if you focused more on doing your very best and remembering just you lucky you are. / Kari: I... I hadn't thought of it that way. You're probably right.
/ Clara: Of course I am, dear.
/ Kari: I guess being dead gives you an amazing, deep insight into life.
/ Clara: No, sweetie, just a lot of free time. / {{Come to think of it, reported hauntings are way down since the invention of Cable TV...}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Kari Proctor}} {{Great-Grandma Clara}} {{Red Haired Fairy in Purple Dress}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic555.html |
| #556 - Fight | {{Comic 556}} {{Fight}} / [[Valeria Steele and Kari Proctor spar in the gym]]
/ <<*WHUMP!*>>
/ Val: OOF! Hey! / <<*WHUMP!*>>
/ Kari: Got you again!
/ Val: Oooh, I'll show you! / <<*WHUMP!*>>
/ Val: Take that!
/ <<*WHUMP!*>><<*WHUMP!*>><<*WHUMP!*>>
/ Kari: HEE!
/ <<*WHUMP!*>> / Val: Okay, you're right. This is kinda fun. But if anyone asks, it never happened.
/ Kari: Of course. / {{Science Question: Do slumber parties cause pillow fights, or is it the other way around?}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Valeria Steele}} {{Kari Proctor}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic556.html |
| #557 - Double | {{Comic 554}} {{Double}} / [[Dr. Eldritch, Kari Proctor and Sudbury are in Eldritch's study]]
/ Eldritch: Oh, sorry I'm la... wait, you're here EARLY.
/ Kari: Yes. I read the assigned chapter on labyrinths, mazes and catacombs, and I had some questions. I thought they might take some extra time. / Eldritch: Sure, but first we'll run the doppelganger protocols.
/ Kari: What, you think I've been replaced by an exact duplicate pretending to be me?
/ Eldritch: You have to admit it's possible. / Kari: True. This will be good practice!
/ Eldritch: Whoa, this is eerie. You look so much like the real Kari.
/ Kari: Today, I'm not going to let you get to me. / Eldritch: You realize, of course, that sounds like a challenge.
/ Kari: Well, at least I can tell it's the real you.
/ Eldritch: Touch?. / {{Have you made your plans yet for National Be Replaced by a Doppelganger Day?}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Kari Proctor}} {{Sudbury}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic557.html |
| #558 - Reason | {{Comic 558}} {{Reason}} / [[Dr. Eldrtich and Kari Proctor are at lessons in his study. Sudbury is also there]]
/ Eldritch: ...and that's why you should never wear plaid in a labyrinth. Okay, unless you have any more questions, let's call it a day.
/ Kari: Sure. You know, we covered a lot of material, but you really didn't give me a hard time. / Eldritch: Well, it's more fun to mess with you when you're not expecting it.
/ Kari: I can say the same for you.
/ Eldritch: Naturally. / Eldritch: I'm impressed with your renewed enthusiasm and commitment. May I ask what caused this change of heart?
/ Kari: I believe the technical term is "Scroogification." / Eldritch: Ah. Three ghost came to you in the night, and you saw the error of your ways.
/ Kari: Exactly. / {{This is the correct term but technically Scrooge was visited by FOUR ghosts.}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Kari Proctor}} {{Sudbury}} / Kari: Has that ever happened to you?
/ Eldritch: That's how I quit using the word "irregardless." http://askdreldritch.com/comic558.html |
| #559 - 32 Years | {{Comic 559}} {{32 Years}} / [[looking at Kari's Scrapbook]]
/ < http://askdreldritch.com/comic559.html |
| #560 - Squabble | ((Comic 560}} {{Squabble}} / [[Kari Proctor, Helen Alloy, Valeria Steele and Dr. Eldritch are at breakfast]]
/ Eldritch: How about some waffles today?
/ Helen: I just made you eggs benedict!
/ Eldritch: But we had them yesterday!
/ Helen: You never appreciate anything I do for you! / Eldritch: Yes, I...wait. What's REALLY bothering you?
/ Helen: If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!
/ Eldritch: Fine! Then I don't want to know!
/ Helen: You're not even TRYING to understand me! BOO HOO HOO!! / Val: What the hell was THAT?
/ Eldritch: Helen and I never fight, so we're trying it out.
/ Val: Seriously? And that's the best you got?
/ Eldritch: What do you mean? / [[Crenellated Observer Penguin begins observation]]
/ Val: She should be on you about how you two never do what SHE wants to do.
/ Kari: Or how you won't let anyone change the channel when you fall asleep in front of the TV.
/ Val: Or that noise you make while you're thinking.
/ Kari: Or your hair.
/ Eldritch: There's nothing wrong with my hair! / {{I wouldn't be so self-conscious about my hair if people didn't stare so much}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Kari Proctor}} {{Helen Alloy}} {{Valeria Steele}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Crenellated Observer Penguin}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic560.html |
| #561 - Aftermath | {{Comic 561}} {{Aftermath}} / [[Kari Proctor, Valeria Steele, and Dr. Eldritch are in the kitchen]]
/ Kari: Seriously, getting in those stupid petty arguments is one of the worst things about relationships. Why would you WANT to fight? / [[Enter Helen Alloy]]
/ Helen: Ready for make-up sex?
/ Eldritch: You bet! / Eldritch: Did you still want me to explain?
/ Kari: I withdraw the question. / {{Okay, the ARGUMENTS aren't fun...}} / Eldritch: Anyone want the eggs benedict? They're delicious!
/ Kari: There's no way I could...
/ Val: I got it. / {{Appearances:}} {{Kari Proctor}} {{Valeria Steele}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Helen Alloy}} {{Eyerolling Gnome}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic561.html |
| #562 - History | {{Comic 562}} {{History}} / [[Gary the Clock, Walter the Dresser, and Kevin the Plant in the hall]]
/ Gary: ...My grandfather was Swiss, but Nana came from Austria. Their families didn't approve, but they were young and in love.
/ Walter: Aw! How sweet! And on your mother's side? / Kevin: Hi, guys! What's going on?
/ Walter: I'm interviewing Gary for my class in Furniture-American studies.
/ Kevin: Cool! Hey, you could interview me!
/ Walter: Um, no, that's okay.
/ Kevin: Why not?
/ Walter: Well... you know... / Kevin: It's because I'm a plant, isn't it? You don't think of me as REAL furniture!
/ Walter: No, it's because all you know of your family history is that you came from Home Depot. / Gary: But now that you mention it, you really aren't furniture, are you?
/ Walter: Yeah, you don't DO anything.
/ Kevin: I provide oxygen! That's at least as useful as an Area Rug!
/ Area Rug (off-panel): Leave me out of this, Kevin! / {{Man, Area Rugs sure are touchy!}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Gary the Clock}} {{Walter the Dresser}} {{Kevin the Ficus}} {{Area Rug}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic562.html |
| #563 - Enough | {{Comic 563}} {{Enough}} / [[Gary the Clock, Walter the Dresser, and Kevin the Ficus in the hall]]
/ Kevin: That's it! If you two can't accept me as furniture, I'm... I'm LEAVING! / < http://askdreldritch.com/comic563.html |
| #564 - Silent Treatment | {{Comic 564}} {{Silent Treatment}} / [[Gary the Clock, Walter the Dresser, and Kevin the Ficus in the hallway]]
/ Gary: No, they should be friends because "Cowboys dance with the farmer's daughters, farmers dance with the ranchers' cows!"
/ Walter: Isn't that "Rancher's GALS?"
/ Gary: No, it's funnier this way.
/ Walter: That's true, it probably is "cows." / Walter: Too bad Kevin isn't talking to us. I'm sure he'd know. / < http://askdreldritch.com/comic564.html |
| #565 - Shame | {{Comic 565}} {{Shame}} / [[Valeria Steele, Nahina, Kari Proctor, and Dr. Eldritch are in the living room.]]
/ Val: ...And he says "That's not the doorman, that was the Belgian ambassador!"
/ Kari: Ouch, that IS embarrassing!
/ Val: Yeah. Especially since I only tipped him a quarter. / Eldritch: One time, my girlfriend's parents were staying in my guest house, and I forgot to lock the video cabinet, and they found my... um...
/ Val: Weird fetish porn?
/ Edritch: No. Steven Seagal movies.
/ Val: Dude!
/ Kari: You... OWN... ?
/ Eldritch: It was just a phase. / Kari My most embarrassing moment was at high school prom. The head cheerleader fixed the votes, so I'd be elected prom queen, but she arranged a "surprise" for me on stage. After they called my name, my dress caught on something as I went up the steps. Of course, my period had just started that morning... / Val: Okay you're TOTALLY making this up.
/ Kari: Yeah, I've got nothing worse than Steven Seagal movies.
/ Eldritch: Look, I felt sorry for him, okay? / {{Actually, 'Under Siege' was pretty good.}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Valeria Steele}} {{Nahina}} {{Kari Proctor}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic565.html |
| #566 - Dinochickens 1 | {{Comic 566}} {{Dinochickens 1}} / [[Ping and Trevor chat in the kitchen]]
/ Ping: Did you see that thing on the Internet about making dinosaurs from chickens?
/ Trevor: No! You can do that!
/ Ping: Well, it's mostly theoretical, so far. / Ping: The concept is that the genes for teeth and long tails, for example, are still in a chicken's DNA. By manipulating when growth for those features start and stop, one can reverse-evolve dinosaurs back from their modern chicken descendants.
/ Trevor: Cool! Let's do it! / Ping: Be warned, this could be terribly dangerous! We could unleash horrors beyond imagining, as so often happens when scientists recklessly dare to play deity and venture into the realms where humans should never meddle! / Trevor: No problem. Neither one of us is human!
/ Ping: So we're good! / {{Scientifically, this is known as 'Turning the Chickens up to 11',}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Trevor}} {{Ping}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic566.html |
| #567 - Dinochickens 2 | {{Comic 567}} {{Dinochickens 2}} / [[Trevor and Ping discuss experimental protocols in the basement]]
/ Trevor: So what do we need to do?
/ Ping: Well, we'll have to get some chickens. And set up a pen and have food and water for them. / Ping: Then we have to figure out how we'll go about evolving dinosaurs from them, which probably means arranging a breeding program to select for desired traits. And gene manipulation. And we should document everything thoroughly. / Trevor: This sounds like it will cut into our TV-watching time.
/ Ping: But at the end, we'll have dinosaurs! / [[The Ghost of Dinosaurs Past eavesdrops]]
/ Trevor: And they WILL have laser vision, right?
/ Ping: Like I said: Dinosaurs!
/ Trevor: Awesome! / {{As long as we're done before the Fall Season starts.}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Trevor}} {{Ping}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic567.html |
| #568 - MBWA | {{Comic 568}} {{MBWA}} / [[Brad and the other zombie CSRs of Zorbletech are in their lunchroom with Brent]]
/ Brent: ...so, those are some of the things you all are doing wrong. But remember, you are the company's most valuable asset! Now, you still have two and a half minutes left on your break, so enjoy! / Brad: What a prick. Someday, I'm totally going to eat his brains.
/ Biggles: Heh! Get in line!
/ Skeletal Zombie CSR: Hey, we should have a contest!
/ Adrian: Yaaaaaah! / Brad: That's a great idea! Winner gets to eat Brent!
/ Biggles: Indeed! How about a charity raffle?
/ Skeletal: To benefit kittens!
/ Brad, Biggles, and Adrian: AWWW! / Zombie CSRS (off-panel): HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
/ Brent (thinking): They're all in a great mood! My motivational speeches rock! / {{Well they were inspired}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Brad}} {{Brent}} {{Biggles}} {{Skeletal Zombie Zorbletech Customer Service Representative}} {{Adrian}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic568.html |
| #569 - Dinochickens 3 | ((Comic 569}} {{Dinochickens 3}} / [[Kari Proctor lounges with Ping in the basement]]
/ [[Danger! Chickens]]
/ Ping: And when we get our chickens, officially we'll be scientists, not chicken farmers.
/ Kari: Of course. / Ping: But I would like some coveralls. And a hat!
/ Kari: Yes! That would be so cute! / Kari: I thought Trevor was doing this, too! Why isn't he helping?
/ Ping: Oh, he is. We decided we'd each stick to the parts that we do best. / [[Enter Trevor]]
/ Trevor: Okay! I've listed the most awesome names for our dinosaurs!
/ Ping: Yay! / {{#1. Achilles #2. Doug... }}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Kari Proctor}} {{Ping}} {{Trevor}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic569.html |
| #570 - Forever Young | {{Comic 570}} {{Forever Young}} / [[Dr. Eldritch and Helen Alloy in bed]]
/ Eldritch: You know what I appreciate about you?
/ Helen: Yes. I list eighty-seven items. Number one, I have fabulous...
/ Eldritch: No! I mean, yes. But what I was SAYING is that there's one thing in particular I'm thinking about right now.
/ Helen: Tell me. / Eldritch: I won't have to watch you grow old. I've seen so many friends age and die. But you won't.
/ Helen: Not with regular maintenance.
/ Eldritch: Remind me to stock up on spare parts. / Eldritch: But it is amazing to witness how the cycle of life repeats. Children grow, become parents of children who grow up... and so on. I've tried to share with others the sense of awe I feel when I think about it all. / Eldritch: And yet, when you tell a woman that you dated her grandmother, she loses interest in going out with you.
/ Helen: Poor dear! That should be a KILLER pick up line.
/ Eldritch: I KNOW! / {{And you're not just saying that to humor me, right?}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Dr. Eldritch}} {{Helen Alloy}} http://askdreldritch.com/comic570.html |
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