You're browsing the archives of Ask Dr. Eldritch.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

#151 - Lawyers Geek 1: Oh, cool! Watch what happens when I do this.... / Trevor: Heh! He's dancing! / Dr. Eldritch: Is that really necessary? / Geek 2: Sure! It's... technical. / <> / <> / Ping (spam voice): ALL THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE,...
#152 - EULA Blues Zanthorian Coprolite 2: A Rights Management Software violation was reported from this location. I'm here to seize all prohibited items. Is that your media player? / Dr. Eldritch: You're not taking him! / <> / <> / Zanthorian Coprolite 1: HAHAHA! I love this part! / Zanthorian...
#153 - Strong Suit Dr. Eldritch: You two came here to confiscate a robot, just because he isn't an AUTHORIZED DEVICE? / Coprolite 1: Actually, I'm here on a separate matter. Over two hundred songs have been downloaded illegally to this location. We think. / <> / <> / Coprolite...
#154 - Sob Story Coprolite 1: You think illegal file sharing doesn't hurt people? Last year, one of our associate vice-presidents couldn't afford to give his daughter another indoor pool for her birthday. His kids were forced to swim in one of their other pools. Do you want to be responsible for that kind of heartbreak? / Coprolite...
#155 - Finally Coprolite 2: It's nothing personal. We just want what's fair. / Dr. Eldritch: Seriously? / Coprolite 2: No, of course not. / Dr. Eldritch: Wait a minute... Who let you in, anyway? / Coprolite 1: Ha! Closed doors are no obstacle for us! / Coprolite 2: He has an expectation of privacy! How quaint! / http://askdreldritch.com/comic155.html
 
#156 - Reboot Geek 1: There, that should do it. / Kari: You fixed him? / Geek 2: We've done what we can. Now we'll reboot him and see if it worked. / <> / <<*THUMP!*>> / Dr. Eldritch: What did you have to do? Reconfigure a phase-modulator to target the corrupting virus program? Reverse his polarity?...
#157 - No Place Like Home Trevor: Ping? / Dr. Eldritch: Can you hear me? / Kari: How do you feel? / Ping: I had the strangest dream. And you were there, and you... and you... and... not you. / Kari: Really? / Ping: Of course not. / Ping: I've just been dragged through the ass end of the Internet. How do you THINK I feel? / Trevor:...
#158 - Learned Anything? Dr. Eldritch: Trevor just wanted to play some music. A simple act, but it led to a mess of crippling software, encounters with draconian business practices, and the threat of a meritless lawsuit that would still be exceedingly difficult to defend against. He was careless, but did he deserve those results? / Dr....
#159 - Ed & Kari Ed: I must be leaving soon, but I wanted to say that it's a pleasure to meet you. / Kari: And you, Ed! / Ed: You should know, we're all just trying to do the best we can. Your high ground is illusory, and there's great value in being more forgiving of others, and of yourself. / Kari: I don't understand. / Ed:...
#160 - Ed & Trevor Trevor: She's so HOT! Don't you just totally want to hook up with her? / Ed: She is attractive. But she showed no indication of any interest in me, so I haven't really considered it. / Trevor: WHAT? Were you raised in a monastery? / Ed: Actually, a laboratory. / Trevor: So you haven't...? / Ed: Not really. / Trevor:...
 
#161 - Nahina Nahina: Hi, Nice Human! / <<*FLIT!* *FLIT!* *FLIT!*>> / Dr. Eldritch: Hello, Nahina. How are you? / Nahina: Nahina happy! House pretty! / Dr. Eldritch: Good, good. Any problems with the other residents? / Nahina: Nahina will sit on their corpses and eat their lunches! / Dr. Eldritch: That's nice. / Nahina:...
#162 - Unbegging The Question {{title=Unbegging The Question}} / [[Librarian reference desk]] / Librarian: Reference desk! / Trevor [[over the phone]]: I want a pet penguin! Where's the closest zoo? / [[Trevors basement room]] / Librarian [[over the phone]]: Contrary to popular belief, you can't house penguins in a modified refrigerator....
#163 - Awareness {{published during world-wide Breast-Cancer Awareness Week}} / {{Title=Awareness}} / [[Kari and Trevor standing in the living room, Trevor holding a sign saying "I'M AWARE". Ping is standing behind the sofa, with a sign partially visible reading "SHOW ME YOUR..."]] / Kari Proctor:What's all this? / Trevor:...
#164 - Hobbies {{Title=Hobbies}} / [[Nahina sits on Dr. Eldritch's desk in Dr. Eldritch's office]] / Nahina: *Sigh* / .. / Nahina: HHHHH*SIGH* / Dr. Eldritch: Something wrong? / Nahina: Nahina sad! Pretty woman hide socks. / Dr. Eldritch: I've been meaning to speak to you about that. Perhaps you could fina another hobby...
#165 - Less Is More [[Ping on the kitchen-table and Trevor sitting at it, counting coins]] / Trevor: 37... 38... I've got 39 cents. / Ping: I've got this Sacagawea coin. Is that real money? / Trevor: I don't think so. / Ping: It's going to take FOREVER to save enough for a catapult. / Trevor: Yeah. / Ping: I heard that if you...
 
#166 - Banshees <> / <> / <> / [[Kari sits up straight in bed]] / <> / <> / <> / {{Kari clamps her hands over her ears}} / Kari Proctor: WHAT'S THAT NOISE? / Trevor: Banshees. / Kari:...
#167 - Rocket Science {{title=Rocket Science}} / [[middle of the night]] / [[In the living room, Trevor stands next to a trash with red letters saying "ROCKIT". Ping (the robot) is looking out of the trash-can with a helmet on. The trash-can stands on a pile of red dynamite bars. Yes, IN the living room. Trevor (the troll)...
#168 - Repercussions {{Title=Repercussions}} / [[At the breakfast table, Kari holds her mug of coffee, Dr. Eldritch reads "The Oregonian" Newspaper]] / Kari Proctor: So... Did you notice anything unusual happening last night? / Dr. Eldritch: Some banshees. And I had to discipline Trevor and Ping for breaking the "No using...
#169 - Haunted Basment [[Scene of Neighbor's yard with Halloween decorations, including sign reading "Haunted House". Trevor has added some primitive signs saying "Basment", an arrow pointing towards the mansion's basement entrance, "Free Cadny!"]] / [[Dr. Eldritch stares at Trevor]] / Trevor: What? / Trevor: Why not! / {{Title=...
#170 - NaNoWiMo? {{title=NaNoWriMo?}} / {{Dr. Eldritch sits at a table typing on his laptop, Kari and Trevor are nearby, Ping is standing on the table}} / <> / Kari Proctor: What's going on? / Dr. Eldritch: November is National Novel Writing Month. Participants write a 50,000-word novel...
 
#171 - Net Effect {{title=Net Effect}} / Trevor: Ne neutrality isn't that important. / Dr. Eldritch: What!?! You've got to be kidding! t's a very serious issue! Small-scale source providers could be completely shut out from the internet by corporate interests! / Dr. Eldritch: Think of it like living in a town with several...
#172 - Multi-Tasking <> / <> / <> / Trevor: Go faster! / Kari! Ha! You won't get past me! / TV: Racing turtles enter last lap! / Monster (appearing behind Eldritch): ROOOOAAARRRR!! / << --M!>> / << --OOOOMMMM!>> / Eldritch's gun: <> / Kari: Wha...!?! / TV: Crash on...
#173 - NaNo Week 2 <> / Kari: My novel's about a disabled social worker's efforts to save runaway girls from drugs and prostitution, while fighting drastic funding cuts by a conservative legislature that threaten to close the urban shelter she runs. / Dr. Eldritch: I didn't know you're writing...
#174 - VCR Dr. Eldritch: Okay, we've FINALLY gotten the channel and time set for recording your show tonight. Now press the power button for the VCR. / Trevor: That will turn it off. / Dr. Eldritch: That's right. / Trevor: Then it won't record!! / Dr. Eldritch: No, it won't record if it's ON. / Trevor: That doesn't...
#175 - Done and Dusted [[In Dr. Eldritchs office]] / Nahina: Oooooohhh! / <<*FLIT* *FLIT* *FLIT*>> / Dr. Eldritch: Hi, Nahina! Say, you don't sound so good. / Nahina: Nahina SICK! / Dr. Eldritch: I didn't think fairies got ill. / Nahina: Watched "Hannity and Colmes." / Dr. Eldritch: Oh. / Dr. Eldritch: You need a bucket, or a thimble,...
 
#176 - NaNoWriMo Week 3 [[In the living room, Kari types on her laptop]] / Dr. Eldritch: *Sigh* / <> / Kari Proctor: what's wrong? / Dr. Eldritch: My novel. I have no idea what happens next. / Kari: Well, maybe I can help. Where did you get stuck? / Dr. Eldritch: Millaflora just snuck off with...
#177 - Oregon Sunshine Trevor: Is it raining cats and dogs? / Kari: Sure looks like it. / Trevor: I don't see any. / Kari: It's a figure of speech. There aren't ACTUAL cats and dogs involved. / Trevor: Why don't people SAY what they MEAN? / Kari: Figures of speech are a shortcut, but they can evoke more than just plain words....
#178 - Moment's Over {{Title=Moment's over}} / {{#178}} / [[At a window looking out over the grounds...]] / Kari Proctor: *Sigh* / Trevor, the Troll: What's wrong? / Kari: I miss my dad. He and Mom have been divorced for years, but I haven't heard from him at all since last Thanksgiving. / Trevor: If it helps, you can call...
#179 - NaNo Week 4 {{Title= NaNo Week 4}} / {{#179}} / [[In the kitchen, Dr. Eldritch at the table, Trevor plundering the fridge]] / Trevor: This novel writing is fun. Do we have any juice? / Dr. Eldritch: Wait... YOU'RE writing a novel? When did you start? / Trevor: Last week. / Dr. Eldritch: Oh. Well, I hope you won't...
#180 - Thanksgiving Night [[Enter two Magical Helper Elves, exclaiming over a sinkful of dirty Thanksgiving dishes...]] / Randall: Look at that mess, Barry! This is gonna take ALL NIGHT! / Barry: At least the troll licked all the plates clean again. / Randall: Oh, yeah, because troll spit is SO much better. I don't know why we tolerate...
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 >>