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| It's About Time | [[Single Splash Page panel with the whole cast surrounding Willow on the hospital bed. She's holding her newborn baby]] / CAPTION BOX: Several hours and vending machine snacks later... / JEREMY: So what's her name? / NATHAN: We decided to call her Eden. / John: Congratulations Nathan, it's the first... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080303.html |
| It's the Principle | [[Adam and Jacqi are standing on either side of the panel talking to one another]] / JACQI: Adam, we fight too much and we shouldn't. I mean we're perfect for each other. I'm like the Joker to your Batman. / ADAM: Wait, but they openly hate each other. Couldn't you have gone with Lois and Clark? / JACQI:... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080306.html |
| Epic Battle | [[John walks in the door of his home looking like he was run through a meat grinder]] / JOHN: HOLY HELL!!!! /
/ [[Nathan is sitting on the couch reading, and looks up from his comic book to address John]] / NATHAN: Where have you been all day? /
/ [[John stands over the couch relaying his story to... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080310.html |
| Must be a Hulk Dog | [[John and Nathan are sitting on the couch. John is now wearing a sling and has a band-aid on his cheek. Tim walks in looking like the same kind of Hell John did a few days ago]] / TIM: Dog...small dog...so much evil in such a small creature... / JOHN: Wait, you too? / NATHAN: So was it the "girl... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080313.html |
| Not Enough Stratego | [[John is not the general of his impromptu army. He's still in his war gear and so is Nathan, though he's only wearing a metal pot on his head. In the background we see something on a table covered in a sheet]] / JOHN: Soldier, report! / NATHAN: I've devised a trap to capture the dog. It's complex,... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080317.html |
| Epic Win...? | [[John, Nathan, and Tim have set up their trap outside for the dog. They are hiding behind a tree, and we see the dog in the foreground walk up to "the trap". They have set up a dog biscuit on it to attract it]] / DOG: < http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080320.html |
| Foreshadow | [[We see a police officer enter an office. In the office we see a man sitting in chair. His face is covered by the fedora he's wearing and he's also wearing a long coat. On his desk there is only a lamp, some files, a coffe mug, and his pistol]] / CAPTION BOX: Epilogue / OFFICER: Dead chihuahua. Beaten... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080324.html |
| Almost Made It | [[Single splash page panel. We see Nathan as he's been pulled over by a police officer for speeding. The car Nathan is driving in is the DeLorean time machine from Back to the Future]] / POLICE OFFICER: You know how fast you were going back there? / NATHAN: Apparently not 88... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080327.html |
| Not Too High Brow Though | [[John and Nathan are standing on either side of the panel talking to each other]] / NATHAN: Dude, I took this epic dump last night. It was the kind that Peter Jackson could film and make a 3 hour long movie from. /
/ [[John retorts with his own story]] / JOHN: Well, I took one that wasn't so good.... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080331.html |
| Redefinition | [[Tim is sitting on the couch playing videogames and John walks up to him holding a glass of tea. He cleverly makes a pun]] / JOHN: Hey Tim, have you ever done some tea bagging before? Cause chicks dig that sort of thing. / TIM: Of course I have. How else would the tea get made? /
/ [[John looks down... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080403.html |
| Escape From Whatever the Fuck the Capital of India Is: Part 1 | Caption Box: The year is 2008. The Queen has turned India into a dystopian wasteland.
/ Caption Box: The Entire Capital city has been converted into a maximum security prison in hopes of capturing Ultimate Gandhi once and for all.
/ Caption Box: But the American Government has sent in the one man who... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080407.html |
| Escape: Part 2 | Flaccid Snake: This city is full of prisoners you helped put away. They're all after you. We need to get you out of here now.
/ Ultimate Gandhi: Wait...
/ Ultimate Gandhi: There's something I need to do first.
/ Caption Box: Later...
/ Ultimate Gandhi: Where is she?!?!
/ British Guard: Ack! Screw...you...
/ Flaccid... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080410.html |
| Escape: Part 3 | British Guard 1: Sir!!!
/ British Guard 1: We've just recieved a report from one of the outposts. Ultimate Gandhi is on his way here! And he's being accompanied by a man with an eyepatch.
/ British Guard 1: Sir...?
/ British Guard Leader: So, Ultimate Gandhi is alive...and he's made a friend? Good...
/ British... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080414.html |
| Escape: Part 4 | Ultimate Gandhi: Snake, are we almost at the gate?
/ Ultimate Gandhi: Snake, why are you...oh...
/ Ultimate Gandhi: I see.
/ Ultimate Gandhi: So what do you say? I take the left, you take the right?
/ Snake: What's that, about ten thousand for each of us?
/ Snake: Yeah...I like those odds. http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080417.html |
| Escape: Part 5 | SFX: RAT-A-TAT-A-RAT-A-TAT-A-RAT-A-TAT-A
/ UG: Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!
/ British Guard Leader: AAAAHHHH!!!!
/ UG: Whoa, not so fast there big guy.
/ UG: Wait...don't I know you?
/ UG: Yeah, I remember now!
/ UG: Man, your face is fucked up! Was that tea really that hot?
/ UG: No wait.
/ SFX: POW!
/ UG: Tell me late... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080421.html |
| Escape: Part 6 | Snake: Nice shootin' U.G. But our work isn't over yet.
/ UG: That's right. We need to get to that fortress. She'll never see it coming.
/ Snake: Wait...where's sausage face?
/ UG: What?!?! No!!!
/ British Guard Leader: My Queen!!!
/ British Guard Leader: Please, forgive me my queen. I failed you. But we... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080424.html |
| Escape: Part 7 | SFX: KABOOM
/ Snake: Well, the queen managed to escape, but now she'll think twice about messing with this place again, right U.G.?
/ UG: Whoa...can we go again? http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080428.html |
| Escape: Part 8 | Snake: I'm sure gonna miss working with you U.G. What are you gonna do now that this is all over?
/ UG: Stay here and rebuild. My people will need my help for some time.
/ UG: So, you wanna ring the bell Snake?
/ Snake: Sure thing. Ding. Ding.
/ UG: You move pretty good for an older guy.
/ Snake: You too.... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080501.html |
| Back to Work | [[After an entire month of rest due to the large Ultimate Gandhi story arc, John shows up in the living room and is seen very unkempt. His hair is mussed, and he's wearing sweat pants. Nathan is dressed to impress, with leather pants and all]]
/ JOHN: What the hell is going on here?
/ NATHAN: Dude, April... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080505.html |
| The Definition of Irony | [[John and Nathan are standing outside of the movie theatre. The Marquee in the back reads "IRON MAN", indicating the movie they just viewed]]
/ JOHN: Holy crap that movie was awesome.
/ NATHAN: Yeah, I know. It makes me want to get the action figures now. / [[John starts to get excited at the thought... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080508.html |
| See What College Does? | [[Single Splash Page Panel. We see a huge thought bubble, encompassing what seems to be a dream. It has to do with Dante's Inferno. We see Virgil (from the poem) with a megaphone and a line of people at the entrance of Hell. A sign outside the entrance reads "Abandon All Hope of Not Having Fun, Ye Who... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080512.html |
| Told You it Was the Definition | [[We see two hands holding a piece of paper. The paper is John's final English exam. It has one question on it. It reads "Final Exam: Define Irony". John's answer right below it reads "The way blood tastes." We see John recieved an A for this and there are other random doodles all over the test like... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080515.html |
| What May Come | [[We see a medium shot of John looking extremely pissed off.
/ Like...extremely pissed]] / JOHN: You are an asshole. And not the "Jack Nicholson in that Helent Hunt movie" type of asshole either. You're more like that drunken father at the Little League game who calls the umpire blind and calls Benji,... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080519.html |
| Accurate Analogy | [[We see from the perspective of the primitaves at the
/ bottom of the panel, the huge black monolith from 2001: A
/ Space Oddyssey]]
/ SFX: BUM... BUM... BUM... BA-DUM!!! BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!
/ BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! / [[Now we see John sitting at his computer desk holding a Wacom tablet looking confused]]
/ JOHN:... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080522.html |
| Like You All Weren't Thinking It | [[Single Splash Page panel showing a very old Indiana Jones sitting in a wheel chair at a retirement home. He's dressed just like he did when he was younger, fedora and all and is even holding his whip. A tray of food is falling from his lap]] / INDY: APPLESAUCE! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE
/ APPLESAUCE?... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080526.html |
| He Just Never Learns | [[Single Splash Page Panel showing Nathan being pulled over by the
/ same police officer again. This time he's in Speed Racer's Mach 5 race
/ car]]
/ / OFFICER: You know how fast you were going back there? / NATHAN: YOU'VE GOTTA BE FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!!! http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080529.html |
| Not His Proudest Moment | [[We see John and Nathan standing on either side of the panel. John is being defensive]] / NATHAN: John, I'm going to find you a girlfriend. You need one, big time. / JOHN: Hey, I don't need your help to find a girlfriend. I can do it on my own. /
/ [[John is taken aback by what Nathan says next]] / NATHAN:... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080602.html |
| A Great Icebreaker | [[Nathan is sitting on the couch as John walks into the living room almost angry at himself]] / JOHN: Alright, I've decided to let you hook me up. But I will not go on a montage of dates sitcom-style, got it? / NATHAN: Fine, whatever... /
/ [[John is sitting at a restaraunt across from a pretty lady.... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080605.html |
| Oh, How True... | [[We See John sitting at his computer desk. It's early in the morning]] / CAPTION BOX: A day in the life of John. / CAPTION BOX: 10:30 A.M. /
/ [[Exact same panel as before. Only the screen on his computer has changed. It's in the afternoon now]] / CAPTION BOX: 4:30 P.M. /
/ [[Exact same panel as... http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080609.html |
| Love at First Breep! | [[Close-Up of John sitting at his computer. We can see frustration in his face]] / JOHN: Stupid Nathan. I don't need him to find me a girlfriend. I'll find one the old fashioned way. The internet... / SFX: < http://mintcondition.comicgenesis.com/d/20080612.html |