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| #629; In which Game-Night gets awkward | BOB: Sorry I'm late to game night!
/ RAY: Dangit Bob! I sprained my thumb twiddlin' waitin' fer you! I gotta turn tonight's bout to my understudy!
/ [[RAY'S understudy is a duck. Wearing shoes, pants held up with suspenders and a top hat. Let's call him DESMOND, for the alliteration.]] / DESMOND:... http://wondermark.com/629/ |
| #630; A New Regime | BOB: Norm! You seen this new, hundred-foot-tall "WELCOME DUCKS" banner in front of my house? You know anything about that?
/ NORM: I know just who to ask! Meet the new chairman of our homeowners' association!
/ DESMOND [[a duck]]: I've got a lot of improvements planned. / DESMOND: My first project... http://wondermark.com/630/ |
| #631; There must be Something we can do | [[Indoors, woman talking to bird]] / Woman: The mortgage market was heavily regulated but the regulations weren't *enforced*. Result: *Massive Banking Failure*. / Woman: *Offshore Drilling* is highly regulated, but the regulations weren't enforced. Result: Massive oil spill catastrophe. / Woman:... http://wondermark.com/631/ |
| #632; A Dramatic Turnover in Management | Man #1: Big changes at work. My boss got promoted
/ Man #2: Not the incompetent moron who once plugged an overflowing toilet with a live squirrel?
/ Man #1: No, he died in a fire. This is the person who recommended he START that fire. / Man #2: So ANTI-SMOKEY has now been promoted to...
/ Man #1: Vice... http://wondermark.com/632/ |
| #633; In which the Mantel is getting cluttered | WENDY: Honey, look! A gift shop! Can we take a peek? Just for a minute? / JULIO: Yes, on one condition: before you go in, as yourself what needs you have in life. Conceptualize all your distinct, legitimate voids. Keep them in mind. Any object in the gift shop must fulfill an existing need in... http://wondermark.com/633/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://wondermark.com/634/?ref=nf">http://wondermark.com/634/?ref=nf | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| #635; Lara and her Priorities | [[LARA and FRANCINE at the bake sale.]]
/ LARA: I don't understand. Why are your cookies selling so well, when mine have barely moved?
/ FRANCINE: Maybe because mine are homemade? No store-bought dough for me, just good ol' Betty Crocker mix. And they're delicious! / LARA: I GREW my own WHEAT. Milled... http://wondermark.com/635/ |
| #636; In which a Hunter goes fishing | [[A BEAR in an ill-fitting Prussian military helmet prowls about aimlessly.]]
/ BEAR: I'm a bear! I'm a bear! / [[A FISHERMAN appears. He's bigger than the BEAR.]]
/ FISCHER: STOP it. You are NOT a bear.
/ You are a FISH in a COSTUME. / BEAR: I thought
/ (small voice) I thought I was a bear.
/ FISCHER:... http://wondermark.com/636/ |
| #637; In which Growth is noticed | JANE: You're getting so tall! Last time I saw you, you were only this big! / CHIP: I guess I just keep eating
/ JANE: Let's see, when did I see you last? Was it Thanksgiving? I recall walking into the family room and seeing you next to that old armoire. I have a very clear mental picture of that. / JANE:... http://wondermark.com/637/ |
| #638; In which a Choice has been made | Bearded man: ...And this is my pet project! / Bearded man: It's a fully functioning scale replica of the central train depot in Leipzig, Germany!
/ Bearded man: EVERY detail is authentic. The trains keep accurate schedules. The "staff" wear authentic uniforms. I even bought an actual uniform on eBay... http://wondermark.com/638/ |
| #639; The Moment of Clarity | [[Two soldiers are on patrol.]]
/ ROLF: Listen closely! Your patrol will be along the perimeter of the compound. Maintain high alert at all times. / ROLF: If you see movement, call it in. If you see a squirrel, call it in. If you see two weird-looking leaves in a row, CALL IT IN. If you see adorable... http://wondermark.com/639/ |
| #640; Error comes to Sandwiches | [[A masked man appears]]
/ Masked Man: STOP THERE, CITIZEN!
/ Masked Man: You're eating that sandwich UPSIDE DOWN! / Man with Sandwich: How do you eat a sandwich upside down
/ Masked Man: You were biting it with the mustard side down. When your tongue hits that mustard, it'll overpower every other flavor!... http://wondermark.com/640/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://wondermark.com/641/?ref=nf">http://wondermark.com/641/?ref=nf | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| #642; In the Dark and Quiet | Hatted Toff: Listen. It is morning. It is the dark morning, before the sun.
/ Hatted Toff: It is three, or four, or five A.M. You are awake.
/ Hatted Toff: There are voices that shout at you now, in languages native only to this hour.
/ Hatted Toff: They speak sounds that enter your ears but bypass your... http://wondermark.com/642/ |
| #643; All Grown Up | [[A man is pushing a baby carriage containing what appears to be a very large guinea pig]]
/ Man: I guess this is it. Time to say goodbye / Man: I found you in a field. Little shivering ball of fur. Raised you, fed you, kept you warm at night. You doubled in size every year. Ate nothing but hair. Howled... http://wondermark.com/643/ |
| #644; The Nocturnal Imposter | HANS: You were in my dream last night!
/ PHIL: No, I was safe and sound in my own bed. A synaptic construct that resembled me may have been in your dream last night. / HANS: Well, so far as my dream-self was concerned, it was you. And you did some weird stuff.
/ PHIL: But it wasn't me! It didn't have... http://wondermark.com/644/ |
| #645; A Novel Dining Experience | DIANE: Ooh, where are we going for dinner?
/ REX: I got a great tip on a tiny little place. Super hip. Super underground. You'll dig it. / REX: Hello! Two for dinner?
/ LIZ: Where are you shoes
/ REX: Uh?on our feet?
/ LIZ: What is problem with
/ REX: N-nothing We just came for dinner / LIZ: This is... http://wondermark.com/645/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://wondermark.com/646/?ref=nf">http://wondermark.com/646/?ref=nf | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| #647; In which a Spoiler is alerted | [[two men in tall hats looking at some very large birds]]
/ Hat man 1: Ha, that's a weird-looking bird.
/ Hat man 2: Looks kind of like the bad guy from 'Steel Agent 3'.
/ Hat man 1: Oh, I haven't seen the third one. The villain is a BIRD? Isn't it a JET LI movie? / Hat man 2: Yeah, Spoiler Alert- the... http://wondermark.com/647/ |
| #648; What the Puppet Wanted | TERRY: Check out my awesome new marionette! Completely lifelike. Fully articulated. Accurate joint physics. / TERRY: Faithfully-recreated goals. Realistic dreams. Comes with a full set of aspirations, that, as the puppeteer, you can fulfill or crush at your discretion. "I wanted to be an ice-cream... http://wondermark.com/648/ |
| #649; In which Joanne has Big Plans | JOANNE: ?and over here I'll be knocking through the wall to open the kitchen into the living room. It'll be fully open, but with a retractable bar that descends from the ceiling for parties, or just for breakfast. / JOANNE: Upstairs, I'm turning the second bedroom into a fully skylit sunroom complete... http://wondermark.com/649/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://wondermark.com/650/?ref=nf">http://wondermark.com/650/?ref=nf | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://wondermark.com/651/?ref=nf">http://wondermark.com/651/?ref=nf | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| #652; Putting the 'Indie' in 'Inedible' | NANA: Do you want to make some cupcakes?
/ MIKEY [[a kid]]: Yes! I've been craving cupcakes!
/ NANA: Great! Let me get out the recipe -
/ MIKEY: Recipes are for the masses. Why do we have to be content with the recipe? Why can't we do something different? / NANA: We could put chocolate chips in the... http://wondermark.com/652/ |
| #653; In which Mortality looms | ARTHUR [[standing on one foot on a chair]]: Finally! CLARITY! Horrible, wretched, clarity!
/ HORTENSE: Honey, come to dinner.
/ ARTHUR: Dinner is an illusion! Everything is an illusion! / ARTHUR: Everything I worked toward my whole life was an illusion. Nothing is worth trusting. The universe is... http://wondermark.com/653/ |
| #654; In which Cheese vintages | JACK: 'Aged cheddar.' So apparently there's crates of cheddar sitting around somewhere, just aging. What if society ends and no new cheddar is crated away to age? How would we remnants of humanity decide when to eat what limited supply remains? / LOIS: Actually, philosophers call that the Oenophile's... http://wondermark.com/654/ |
| #655; In which a Boat is borrowed | STEVIE: Thanks for letting me borrow your boat!
/ JAY: Of course! Happy to! Looks great! You got all the covers tied, all the lines coiled?everything's stowed perfectly! I didn't realize you were such a sailor!
/ STEVIE: Oh, that's probably 'cause I never touched it at all this whole time / [[Beat.... http://wondermark.com/655/ |
| #656; The Gullible Salesman | ROSS: I would like to sell you a bottle of gullible.
/ ELEANOR: No thanks, I'm pretty sure I have plenty.
/ ROSS: No! Not like this! This is a brand-new, stronger-formula, super-gullible! / ROSS: Decades of scientific research have gone into making this the strongest, most potent gullible ever. Previously... http://wondermark.com/656/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://wondermark.com/657/?ref=nf">http://wondermark.com/657/?ref=nf | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://wondermark.com/658/?ref=nf">http://wondermark.com/658/?ref=nf | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
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