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| #269; In which Johann gets a Job | - What game do you want to play today, Johann?
/ - Can we play Job Interview? / - Again? Okay. / I've looked over your resume and you seem very well suited for the position of little boy.
/ - I have many years of experience in the field.
/ - I think you would be a good fit here. / Do you have salary requirements?
/ -... http://wondermark.com/269/ |
| #270; In which Giddiness is annoying | - All set for the next reading. Miss Jones, are you ready to copy?
/ - Um, actually, it's "Mrs. Fogerty" now. / - Very well, Mrs. Fogerty, please take down these numerals: eight, six, th-
/ - 'cause the thing is, I got married! Yay me, right? / Still so excited you guys / - Mrs. Fogerty, please. We... http://wondermark.com/270/ |
| #271; Mr. Swanson has High Hopes | - I know how to ensure that our son will change the world! His first and middle names should be some other, FAMOUS name, as in "Martin Luther King". / Or "George Washington Carver, Soybean Hero". / - How about Genghis Khan Swanson. Idi Amin Swanson. James K. Polk Swanson. Rudolf Diesel Swanson.
/ -... http://wondermark.com/271/ |
| #272; In which Shirley makes Dubious Claims to Insanity | - One thing you should know about me is that I'm crazy! I mean, I am a nut! Everybody's always telling me, Shirley, you are so quirky! And I'm all, I know! / - For example, sometimes I'll eat peanut butter right out of the jar! Seriously! And today - I'm wearing two different-colored socks! Just... http://wondermark.com/272/ |
| #273; In which a Metaphorical Fence is straddled | [[walking down a street, a grandfather and boy discuss Life and Religion]] / Grandfather: I'm gonna say it: 'Spiritual but not religious' is a cop-out. There are millions of wacky religious sects in the world. No matter WHAT you believe, I'm sure you could find SOMEONE who agrees with you. / Grandfather:... http://wondermark.com/273/ |
| #274; In which Faith is Renewed | Teacher: So, have you found a church home yet?
/ Student: Yeah! I found one built on the basic principle that Mexicans are lazy. / Teacher: W-what? That's patently offensive.
/ Student: We sing songs about how Mexicans are lazy, kids go to Mexicans-are-lazy camp, there's all this ritual chanting...... http://wondermark.com/274/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://wondermark.com/275b/?ref=nf">http://wondermark.com/275b/?ref=nf | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| #276; A Chance Encounter | [[Two gentlemen, who we'll call JULIAN and FRANCISCO, are walking down the street.]]
/ JULIAN: Have you ever been at the store or somewhere, and you see someone and you think, "I bet they're cool, I bet we could get along." / JULIAN: But you can't do anything! You're at the store, they're a stranger.... http://wondermark.com/276/ |
| #277; In which That sounds like a Dare | [[A Mother and her Moppet are chatting. Mother is resting in a chaise chair, while Moppet is standing beside, sweetly, hands on the armrest.]] / Moppet: Mom, I found this old journal of yours in the attic. You don't seem very pleased to have had me. / Moppet: I'm referred to as 'that wailing she-demon'... http://wondermark.com/277/ |
| #278; In which Rick has Lofty Goals | [[two men are carrying what appears to be a kayak on their shoulders]] / - So, ah, Rick? I don't mean to be a naysayer, I mean so far it's all gone just like you said... / - But what exactly are we going to do with the lake monster's phallus, anyway?
/ - I told you! Guinness-record stir fry / {{header:... http://wondermark.com/278/ |
| #279; In which is purchased Marmoset Coverage | [[A wife stands leaning over her husband's shoulder as he examines papers at his desk.]]
/ Wife: Don't forget to write a check for our marmoset coverage.
/ Husband: What? Marmoset coverage?
/ Husband: Since when do we have marmoset coverage? / Wife: Since last month! I signed us up.
/ Wife: They were having... http://wondermark.com/279/ |
| #280; In which Jamie feels Old | - I realized today that people I used to consider `old' are the exact age I am now. People I used to consider `my age' now look hopelessly young to me. / - People I went to school with are now lawyers, professors, business owners. I just saw a doctor who looked young enough to be my kid. It blows... http://wondermark.com/280/ |
| #281; In which Corporate Parentage is revealed | [[Two MEN sit at a table. One holds a glass, one holds a cigar.]] / MAN 1: Listen to this, on a bottle of Dole pineapple juice: "One of many healthy choices from Pepsico."
/ MAN 1: Man, I thought Dole was a big, happy pineapple-plantation kind of place! Not some corporate subsidiary of the evil Frito-Lay... http://wondermark.com/281/ |
| #282; In which Patrick does a Double Take | [[Two gentlemen, GUSTAVE and PATRICK, are conversing.]]
/ GUSTAVE: Remember the eighties? You'd be in line behind a heavy-metal dude with long hair and think it was a chick? / GUSTAVE: Well it's happening again. Except with hipsters. / GUSTAVE: I see a slim figure, tight jeans, shaggy hair, sort of... http://wondermark.com/282/ |
| #283; In which Directions are Given | [[JEFF has stopped his horse-drawn carriage to talk to YORICK.]]
/ JEFF: 'Scuse me, I'm sort of new to the area. Can you direct me to the Visitor's Bureau? / YORICK: Sure. Take this road to the highway, then in about two miles take the exit for 'Riverside.' The sign says left, but you want to go right.... http://wondermark.com/283/ |
| #284; In which Jason is Validated | [[JASON stands with his back to DONNA; she and WINIFRED are reading from a large paper. A seascape is visible in the background.]]
/ DONNA: Oh, you are so handsome and virile. What would we ever do without the light you bring to our lives. / JASON: Nope, keep it coming. Still feeling jumpy...
/ WINIFRED:... http://wondermark.com/284/ |
| #285; In which Everyone is a Failure | [[OCTAVIO and DENNIS are talking in the street.]]
/ OCTAVIO: Isn't it great knowing that no matter what you do, there's someone better at it than you? More dedicated? More committed? / OCTAVIO: Like playing video games? For every hour you play, some Korean kid plays five. Name any sport you like.... http://wondermark.com/285/ |
| #286; In which a Car considers a Hypothetical | [[A car stands at rest in front of a country house, its alarms blaring]]
/ Car: < http://wondermark.com/286/ |
| #287: In which Lamont suffers a Scare | [[A gentleman in riding togs holds a large metal can at arm's length]]
/ Gentleman: Hey, turns out it was just some shaving cream! / [[The scene pans out showing the same gentleman, background, while in the foreground a shadowy figure looks at him with surprise and, possibly, alarm.]]
/ Gentleman: I left... http://wondermark.com/287/ |
| #288; In which a Game is devised | [[Exterior of a house.]]
/ REGINALD: I put lyrics from pop songs through an internet translator, and now you have to guess what they are. / [[Interior: REGINALD plays a lute for GLADYS and HANS-OLOV.]]
/ REGINALD: "She is the end of the world, how know it us, and I feel much property."
/ GLADYS: Who let... http://wondermark.com/288/ |
| #289: In which a Visitor is shunned | STAN [[an antelope-headed man bearing a large sack on his back, and wearing a dress]]: Kind villager! Is this the fabled town of Inclusia? Where all are welcomed and respected, no matter what? / STAN: I will not be a burden on your people! I seek no charity, nothing but to set up a small shop and... http://wondermark.com/289/ |
| #290; In which Easter is saved | [[SIGRID, carrying a basket, is talking to someone off-panel.]]
/ SIGRID: I found lots of eggs, but before I could pick them up the big kids ran by and grabbed them all! / SIGRID: Egg hunts aren't any fun when you don't end up with any eggs. It makes for a pretty lousy Easter.
/ SIGRID: Uh... / SIGRID:... http://wondermark.com/290/ |
| #291; In which Notability is determined | [[Several villagers, led by JIMBO, are appealing to someone.]]
/ JIMBO: Please! Help! Barbarians have attacked our village! Our sons have been lost to their swords, our daughters to their lusts...
/ JIMBO: They march after us even now! You must help us! / [[We see that JIMBO is appealing to THE STEVE]]
/ THE... http://wondermark.com/291/ |
| #292; In which Disappointment looms | [[Evening; ROBB departs from a building. Around the corner lurks a FRUITY-LOOKIN' DUDE IN A CAPE.]]
/ ROBB [[thinking]]: Man, what a night... Geez, it's midnight already. Long walk home. I really hope I'm not mugged by some fruity-lookin' dude in a cape. / {{header: hope against hope at WONDERMARK.COM}}
/ {{alt-text:... http://wondermark.com/292/ |
| #293; In which Tragedy strikes | [[Ext: house]]
/ Voice One: Hey, what's - are you crying?
/ Voice Two: No! Go away!
/ < http://wondermark.com/293/ |
| #294: In which there are no Tracks | [[BEA and FERNANDO are riding in a rail-car, holding what might be lanterns or possibly irons.]]
/ FERNANDO: Aw, yeah! This is the way to travel! We'll be at the zoo in no time! / < http://wondermark.com/294/ |
| #295; In which Something Happens | [[Continued from the previous comic: BEA and FERNANDO ride a rail-cart along a track, still holding either irons or lanterns.]]
/ FERNANDO: The problem with Procrastinators Anonymous is that they all sit around going to meetings instead of actually doing work. Talking about being productive is not the... http://wondermark.com/295/ |
| #296; In which Wendy learns Too Much | [[Two lovely women, one standing facing the door with what appears to be a riding crop tucked under her arm, and drawing on a pair of gloves. We'll call her Elaine. The other, Wendy, is sitting at the table, looking at Elaine. Elaine's back is to Wendy, and she is glancing over her shoulder.]] / Elaine:... http://wondermark.com/296/ |
| #297; In which an Argument is formulated | [[MAN and WOMAN are driving about the town in one of those newfangled "horseless carriages".]] / WOMAN: Did you know that when you smell something, you're actually inhaling particulates of that object?
/ MAN: WHAT? No you're not. / MAN: Recognizable smells are specific combinations of airborne molecules... http://wondermark.com/297/ |
| #298; In which No One cares about That | [[Exterior; a large building.]]
/ {{Caption: Shrek the Third outdoor advertising creative meeting.}}
/ JACK: And on one billboard we'll show all the princesses with the tagline 'Girls Gone Medieval'!
/ MR. THROCKMORTON: HA HA HA / VINCE: I don't know, it seems to me that any pun or permutation of the 'Girls... http://wondermark.com/298/ |
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