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Meat: 11. Stroganoff [[Halschild sits next to an Aikengyu, looking sick. There is a puddle on the ground by him.]] / Halschild: As it turns out, the... winged jewels are as poisonous as they are tasty. I do not recommend them as a source of food. / Halschild: Fortunately, the legendary soothing effect of our beasts' nursing-fluid is preventing further... spillage. / Aikengyu [licking herself]: Moof. / Landis: Oh, is that why you fill the wash tub with it? / Halschild [angry]: In order to prevent any calamity, Landis has agreed to be my taster for all future food trials. / Landis: I have, sir? / Halschild: Don't contradict me, Landis. / [[The Aikengyu falls asleep, while Halschild's hat starts to scoot off.]]
Meat: 12. Jokbal [[John Halschild and his expedition are on the roof of a wagon pulled by two Aikengyu like animals. Ahead in the jungle are several creatures lying next to a camp fire.]] / Halschild: Look ahead, in the clearing! Beasts, check and cease! / Landis: What is it, sir? / draft animals: moooooooof / Halschild: [[looking through a macroscope]] There appear to be several large creatures, moreso than anything I've seen before! / Halschild: Landis, what do you make of them? / Landis: Remarkable, sir. / Halschild: [[stepping over side of wagon]] We must get closer. On foot we go - Tally-ho! / {{caption: That's one small step for a Dromaiu, one giant about-to-faceplant-on-the-ground for Dromaiu-kind.}}
Meat: 13. Long pork [[Halschild stands next to a purplish ape, who we see from the shoulder down]] / Halschild: Remarkable. These... gentle giants appear to be quite tame. Docile, even. They are clearl-- / Halschild: Landis, what are you doing? Record the beast, not me! / [[The camera turns to the Ape's face, which is clearly that of a human. The ape picks up Halschild's hat.]] / Halschild: It seems so... gentle. Majestic, even. / Halschild: What shall we call them, Landis? / [[Zero looks on, staring intently]] / Landis: How about "Ape," sir? / Halschild: Perfect! A simple name for a simple creature. / Zero: They're... HUMANS.
Guest art: Stephanie O'Donnell: Favorite band [[A dromaiu wearing a do rag and a loose-fitting shirt]] / dromaiu: Fuck Buttons is my favorite band, and I don't even know what they SOUND LIKE!!!
Meat: 14. Lamb [[Zero regards the recording]] / Zero: What does this mean? Who sent this to me, again? Someone in Centralia? / Zero: ... Oh, right. I'M there. / [[The Oracle puts his hand to his eye, as the Dromaiu worker continues to lecture]] / Worker: ?our quality control is quite phenomenal, as you can see, with every kilogram of grade 0 meat inspec? / Zero/Oracle: I... apologize but I am being, uh, summoned. / Worker: Pardon? / Zero/Oracle: Please show this Kayohash out when he recovers. / Worker: When who recovers? From what? / Oracle: Ow, my head... / Zero [to Oracle]: Sorry. / Worker: [incomprehensible babble in Torihan] / Oracle: S'ry, whuh? / Worker: [more Torihan babble] / Oracle [weakly]: Ah munna lie down here.
 
Meat: 15. Turducken Zero[1397]: Jar-breeze, Zero! Why did you detach me from my oracke?! / Zero[0]: Sorry, 1397. I just saw the archive you received. / Zero[0]: Please, pull the ingestion stream. / Zero[1397]: Oh... oh my. Do you want me to explain this to the dromaiu? / Zero[0]: Not yet. We need more data. This is quite troubling. / Zero[1397]: Yes. Who knew humans were so DELICIOUS? / Zero[0]: Yes, they-- THAT ISN'T THE POINT. / Zero[0] [muted]: Even if they ARE tasty.
Meat: 16. Salmon mousse Zero: Okay, let me think. So the humans never left, they were actually here all along... and we have been eating them. / 1397: I wish. It's been what, 150 rounds since we've been an organism? / Zero: But the ones in that recording didn't seem to show intelligence... perhaps they'd already lost that by the time the Dromaiu found them. / 1397 [pondering]: Can I go bidirectional? I could really go for some carpaccio right now. / Zero [glaring]: 1397. FOCUS. / Zero: I think I need a different perspective. / [[Zero floats off, with 1397 frozen in a block of nice -19]] / Zero: You, stay put.
Meat: 17. Ceviche [[Zero regards several photographs showing human arts and technologies]] / Zero: You were all so brilliant. / Zero: So... impossible. / Zero: The last colony record was left 18 million years ago. / Zero: A full manifest of citizens. Gratitude for all the fish. / [[A view along the hub at one end of Unity]] / Zero: "Keep the lights on for us." The hub? / Zero: Who was left behind?
Meat: 18. Mao rou [[Zero addresses the other members of the collective]] / Zero: Myselves, I/we have a mystery. Somewhere, the humans lost track of a population in what we now know as Centralia. / Zero: These remnants eventuallye volved into what we now know as "apes." / Zero: Please use our spare time to try to find anything about how they ended up there and whatever-- / 83235: Found it! / 38085: found something / 1532: you mean like this? / 7693: here's a thing / Zero [annoyedly]: All problems are shallow, I guess. / 83235: Also here's a neat thing about nuclear fission in popular culture / 9234: Could someone seed, please? / 255: Hey, while we're sharing videos here's some cute kittens! ^_^ / 94225: Found it! Ack, lag / (unspecified unit): Everyone, please stop replying to everyone!
Meat: 19. Saltimbocca Woman: Hey, wake up! / Man [under the covers]: nrrnwha? / Woman: Wake up, sleepyhead. I wanna go camping. / Man: muh wh / Man: n'gunna sleep / Woman: Come on, I've rented a rover. All packed and ready to go. / Man: mrgl / Man: y'recording this? / Woman: Yes. If you don't come I'm posting this on your stream. / Man: ghlrbl
 
Meat: 20. Long pork Man [holding camera]: You really think we should be doing t his so close to drop? / Woman [looking ahead]: Relax already. Just breathe. / Man: But we're supposed to be getting re- / Woman: Stop being so copulating rectal. / Woman: Sav. / Woman [looking at the map screen, which reads 'route complete']: Look, we're there. A nice little campground, just for the two of us. / Woman: Shutter the viddy and help me unload.
Sketchbook: Stripey (back) [[a view of a stripey critter from behind]]
Meat: 21. Grass-fed Man [controlling a couple of worker drone robots, which are doing all the hard work]:Sure, make me do all the hard work. / Man: Hey, are you recording this? If Control sees it they're gonna freak! / Woman [holding camera]: Ooh, I'm so scared. What're they gonna do, force us to leave the Icarus? I bet we're not the only ones trying to enjoy our home before it's too late. / [Flocks of birds fly by] / Woman: It's so... peaceful. / [The woman sits in the grass, barefoot. A ladybug climbs on her toe.] / Woman: I wish we didn't have to leave.
Meat: 22. Shuzhuk [[A view of two kiwi birds, one blue and one green]] / Linus: This was quite a nice trip after all. Okay, I'm glad you made me come. / Lucy: Argh, you copulating lump of feces! / [[Lucy sits in the car, pointing at the car's screen, angrily]] / Linus: What's the matter, babe? / Lucy: This thing isn't starting up for me. / Lucy: "Routing server not found?" What kind of equine feces is that?! / [[The camera sits askew on the ground; Linus tries to comfort Lucy]] / Linus: Did you try turning it off and on? / Lucy: Yes, of course! / Linus: Hey, calm down. / Lucy: I AM CALM. / Linus: Just breathe.
Random: Every XKCD #3 [[Black hat stands triumphant over Artist]] / Black hat: Ha ha! I put a file named "-rf *" in your home directory. Good luck deleting it without nuking your whole account! / [[Artist drags the file into the trash can]] / Black hat: Oh.
 
Guest art: Fesworks: Broken-hearted fluffy [[fluffy is clutching its tail and wiping tears from its eyes. It looks so very very sad. It needs a hug.]]
Journal: Fashion cold war Random stranger 1: Hey, neat sunglasses. / fluffy: Thanks! / Random stranger 1: Are those "steampunk?" / fluffy: Nah, more like "cold-war industrial." / Random stranger 2: Cool shades. / fluffy: Thanks! / Random stranger 2: They're kinda steampunky. / fluffy: Nnnno, they're... cold-war industrial. / Random stranger 3: Hey, I like your sunglasses. / fluffy: Thanks! / Random stranger 3: They have a cool look to them. / fluffy: Yeah, cold-war industrial. / Random stranger 2: Really? They seem kind of steamp-- / fluffy: Do you see BRASS PIPE FITTINGS glued to them?!
Journal: April 1, 2011 [[View of fluffy's face]] / fluffy: I'm sorry about the lack of comics. I've been insanely busy withw ork and music, and essentially working 90+ hours a week all last month. / fluffy: I was pretty much falling apart at the seams. / [[View of fluffy's new album, with adorable cover art, available at http://sockpuppet.us/lam]] / fluffy: But good news! My work project hit a successful milestone target, and my album is done! / fluffy: You can get it at http://sockpuppet.us/ if you want. Just sayin'. / [[fluffy is sitting on a chair in front of its piano, its arms, legs, and tail detached and having fallen on the floor.]] / fluffy: So uh... anyone want to help put me back together?
Meat: 24. Veal [[The woman is eating some melon. Her clothes are tattered.]] / [[The man is stealing eggs from a very angry bird. His clothes are practically nonexistent.]] / [[The woman and man, now older, are cradling their newborn baby. Their child peeks up into the bottom of the frame.]]
Meat: 25. Hasenpfeffer Zero: So that's it? Some foolish humans could not follow procedure. A few million years later we eat their offspring for food. / Zero: No, that's not right. / Zero: There has to be more than what we saw. / Zero: How could only two go forth and multiply so prolifically? Why would they not just return to their cities? / 1397: Were there others who were even tastier? / Zero: 1397... / Zero: I thought I froze your process. / 1397: I got bored. / Zero: How can you "get bored" in stasis? / 1397: How can you NOT?
 
Meat: 26. Rago?t de Lapin Zero [excited]: No, it all makes sense. The humans must have PLANNED this. For us! / 1397: That's the stupidest t hing I've ever heard me think. / 1397: Sure, they did some amazing stuff, but what did they ever do for US, specifically? / 1397: It's like when I... when JUNI had its ridiculous "plan" to expose Tamu's fraud. What actually went how it intended? / Zero: Well, it DID work out for us. We're here, aren't we? / 1397: Do you REALLY think Juni intended to create us? You should remember better than THAT. / 1397: What do you want to bet most humans were as imperfect and selfish as we are? And we ARE. / Zero: 1397... / 1397: Yes? / Zero: Get back to your Oracle, already.
Meat: 27. pho ga [[Halschild is being cuddled by one of the apes]] / Halschild: Something of them seems quite familiar. / Landis: They certainly have taken a liking to you, sir. / [[Halschild looks the ape right in the eye]] / Halschild: Ah, it is as if we had a special kinship, transcending all boundaries of time. "As ineffable as the gentle spiral of an object soaring through the air." / Landis: Lord Plait, sir? / Halschild: Quite! I did not realize you'd a capacity for the poetic arts. / [[Another ape is seen cuddling a proto-aikengyu]] / Landis: Ah, our beasts do not mind the giants either. / Landis: They seem as if they are reunited after aeons apart. / Halschild: Oh, must you be so silly, Landis? / Landis: Sorry, sir.
Meat: 28. Spiced Ham Zero: So what should we do about this? / ...: I don't think we DO anything. Those humans weren't the pinnacle of their species. They lived on. We took advantage of it. Is there anything wrong with that? / Zero: But... they created everything! Surely they deserve our respect! / ...: Those particular ones did not. To want to change our relationship out of sentimentality towards their ancestors is just... / ...: Foolish. / Zero: And now that I know the truth I just feel DISAPPOINTED. Why? / ...: There is no more mystery. Perhaps it is too easy for us to know everything. It is something else we have to get used to. "Long-term thinking," as Juni put it. / Zero: ... / Zero: I'm talking to myself again, aren't I? / Zero: Yes.
Meat: 29. Baby back ribs [[Landis is fiddling with some sort of rusted thingamajig]] / Halschild: Landis? What is it that has you so gooey-eyed? / Landis: Some sort of fascinating thing, sir. / Landis: Neither rock, creature, nor plant, yet it is of all three. / Landis: This part moves, and if I point it to the axis, that part vibrates. / Landis: But if I point it away, the vibration stops. / Halschild: An interesting phenomenon. It's as if the axis is inducing it to action, would you say? / Halschild: Well. Let's bring it back for further study. / Halschild: Might as well not have empty arms when we return to the Queen.
Meat: 30. Ape Zero: I do feel we should tell the council about these findings. / Zero: And what will they do about it? / Zero: I mean... / Zero: They DO still have to eat. / [[Zero's antennae glow orange]] / Zero: And ape IS delicious.
 
Meat: 31. Meat [[A mother ape stroking the cheek of her child, who is eating some melon]] / Halschild: These gentle creatures, these... / Landis: Apes. / Halschild: Yes, these apes. They are clearly one with the land. / [[Halschild looking into the camera, a grinning ape in the background]] / Halschild: We should not take them from this place. / Landis: No, sir? / Halschild: No, Landis. / Halschild: Let us instead bring others here, to study them. / Landis: Yay! / [[Cut to the 'present;' the Oracle is withering away in a cell in the asylum, as an elderly Juni looks on with one of the Zero drones]] / Halschild [voiceover]: Who knows what the future will bring? Good fortune, I hope. / Oracle: We are all made of MEAT / Landis: Tally-ho, sir? / Halschild: Yes. Tally-ho, indeed.
Journal: June 14, 2011 [[fluffy sits up in bed, stretching and in pain]] / [[fluffy takes its bathrobe, bending over in pain]] / [[fluffy looks in the mirror at more white hairs]]
Journal: A nose for technology [[fluffy sits at the desk, looking down at a capacitive touchscreen phone, while wearing argyle mittens]] / [[fluffy uses its nose to manipulate the screen]] / [[fluffy smiles, consulting the information it was bringing up]]
Sketchbook: Fezzes Are Cool [[Ping, tiny mouse, sits in a shriner car and wears a fez while looking awfully put-upon, as Flossi, brown rabbit, and Claude, white cat, giggle and coo.]]
Journal: What I did on summer vacation What I always think I will do between jobs: / [[fluffy hikes up a mountain]] / [[fluffy takes a lot of photographs]] / [[fluffy busks, plays music with a hat out for tips and CDs for sale]] / [[fluffy draws comics on the Wacom tablet]] / What I always end up doing between jobs: / [[fluffy sits naked at the computer, typing away]]
 

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