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de^x/dx: 27. Phalanges [[Jen and Roger look out over a large city in the middle of the desert]] / Jen: What sort of building is this? Back home it's a research lab. / Roger: Aye, 'twas that here too. Center point of a great city, b'fore the plague hit. / Roger: So, from another dimension? What's that like for ya? / Jen: Some things are the same, but some are different. Most people don't have this much body hair. / Jen: Well, except for my dad. / Roger: It must be strainge bein' in such a weird body for you. 'Specially with Jerri's extra fingers. / Jen [looking at her hands, which have five fingers]: Huh? This is the usual amount. / Roger: Blimey, your world's pretty odd, innit?
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101011.php
Breeder: 1. Alda [[Ivo and Alda sit naked in a field of grass]] / Ivo: Mm, that was just what I needed. Thank you, Alda. / Alda: it is my pleasure, mistress / Ivo: Please, dear. We are not in public. Call me Ivo. / Alda: y-yes, Miss Ivo / Ivo: I suppose that is close enough. / Ivo [holding Alda from behind]: I am glad you are mine. You make it so easy for me to parth. / Alda [wincing]: it... it is my pleasure to serve you, Miss Ivo
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101018.php
Breeder: 2. Yorda [[Ivo carries an egg to the local broodwitch]] / Ivo: Ah, good evening, Yorda. I seem to have laid yet another egg. / Yorda: Another one? It hasn't even been a ten-day since your last! / Ivo: It is my new concubine. She is... quite stimulating. / Yorda: Oh? What is her name? / Ivo: Alda... Henning, I believe. / Ivo: Alda Henning? Interesting. Does Zero know? / Yorda [cross]: Of course; Mother sees all. How dare you question her? / Ivo [eyes narrow]: Right. Forget I said anything.
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101019.php
Breeder: 3. Fingers [[Ivo lays on her back, Alda straddling her]] / Ivo: Oh, yes... Yes, I love that thing you do, with your fingers... / Alda: fingers, mistress? / Ivo: Yes, that... thing! Oh, yes, that's the one. / [[Alda runs her fingers over Ivo's neck and shoulder]] / Ivo: Don't stop.
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101020.php
Breeder: 4. Insistence [[Ivo leaves her garden, blushing]] / Yorda: Mistress Ivo, another one of your eggs has hatched. Would you like to see it? / Ivo: No, I think not. Once you've seen four Melrose pups, you've seen them all, yes? / Yorda: Begging your pardon, Mistress... / Yorda; ...but I think you really ought to see this one. / Ivo: Fine... / Ivo: if only to stop your meddlesome insistence. / Ivo: I swear, you broodwitches...
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101021.php
 
Breeder: 5. Ears [[A Melrose pup lies in swaddling on the table]] / Ivo: Yes, she looks like a Melrose. Purple and squishy. What of it? / Yorda: Look at her ears. / Ivo: What of them? / Yorda: Don't they look a bit... round to you? / Ivo: So? / Yorda: Well, Shoti's are triangular, like yours. / Ivo [impatiently]: Shoti? / Yorda: Your, ah, third daughter, mistress. / Ivo: Oh, her. / Yorda: And Mina, your second... her spurs have still not yet ablated-- / Ivo [walking off]: Yorda, I am quite busy. If you have made me late for my next symposium... / Yorda: But Alda might be-- / Yorda: Oh, never mind.
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101022.php
Sketchbook: Average Planetfall [[Two views of Planetfall - one the arithmetic mean, and one the standard deviation]]
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101023.php
Breeder: 6. Flicker Ivo [drunk]: Oh, Alda, my darling concubine, I have had such a dreadful day. Would you care to rub my back? / Alda: of course, mistress / Ivo: I love that you are so dependable. / Alda: yes'm / Ivo: It was horrible. So many symposia, so many invitations... / [[Alda begins rubbing Ivo's shoulders]] / Ivo: And that broodwitch, bothering me with every little flicker of a concern that passes through her fallow head. / Alda: concerns of what? / Ivo: "Ivo, look at your children! Their ears are slightly different! They're not losing their spurs fast enough!" / Alda: spurs, mistress? / Ivo: Doesn't she know we Melroses mature more slowly, like a fine wine? / Ivo: Hira help me, it's enough to drive a regent to drink.
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101025.php
Breeder: 7. Skills [[Ivo sits cross=legged on the grass; Alda continues rubbing Ivo's shoulders]] / Ivo: Oh, Alda, I do love you so. I must know more about your unique skills. / Alda: my skills, mistress? / Ivo: Show me your fingers. / [[Alda looks down at her hands, confusedly]] / Ivo: No, not those, silly. Your talented ones. / [[Ivo reaches her hand between Alda's legs]] / Ivo: The ones that you keep down here. / Alda [blushing]: m... mistress! / Ivo: Ah, yes, there they are.
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101026.php
Breeder: 8. A little tree Ivo: I have never actually seen these before. Goodness, they look like a little tree! / Alda [blushing]: mistress... / Ivo: Alda, please. Call me Ivo. / Alda: Miss Ivo, these... aren't fingers. / Ivo: Well, what are they, then? / Alda [giggling]: you... you don't know...? / Alda: hee... / Alda: they are... / Alda: um... / Alda: something else
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101027.php
 
Breeder: 9. Main squeeze Alda [sheepishly]: Miss Ivo, I was born male. / Ivo: Male? Oh, a commoner who keeps their spurs and body hair. Yes, how gauche. / Alda: that is / Alda: well / Alda: yes, but-- / Ivo: Alda, you're my concubine now. Of course you've risen above that. / Alda: i don't think you understand / Alda: Zero wanted me to--HRK / Ivo: Pah. I'm a Melrose. A chosen daughter of Zero. How is there anything I could not understand? / Alda: eep / Alda: forgive me mistress / Alda: i have spoken out of turn / Alda: could / Alda: could you not / Alda: squeeze my "fingers" so hard / Alda: please / Alda: mistress?
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101028.php
Breeder: 10. Family portrait [[A picture of Ivo and Alda standing with their eighteen daughters. Seventeen of them are clearly sexual offspring, with only a single parth in the middle.]] / Zero: and so, Ivo and Alda lived happily ever after. "ivo the Prolific" had eighteen daughters... / [[Photo caption: Ivo Melrose and Alda Henning; 69-8736-1965-23; Kajoshu, Unity]] / Zero: Nine of whom were male. / Zero: And mother help me, may they not be so breezing ARROGANT.
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101029.php
Sketchbook: fluffychu [[Pokedex card for fluffy]] / fluffy (neuter) / PLAID type / Attacks: / * information sponge / * inadequacy projection / * passive aggression / * plaidophilia / Weaknesses: / * hobby fragmentation / * deadlines / FLUFFY, the plaid pok?mon, likes to closely observe other pok?mon that have the skills it lacks; this has a tendency to creep them out. When it is feeling productive it is capable of significant output, but most of the time it appears to be napping. The best way to trigger an evolution to FLUFFEE is with an overdose of coffee and ever-changing project specifications. / [[Evolution sequence]] / fluffi [a small critter pup] / fluffy [a normal-sized critter, looking generally disaffected] / fluffee [a large womble-esque crittertaur, with pouch]
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101109.php
Journal: It gets better [[1996 - Las Cruces, NM]] / [[Two shadowy figures harass fluffy]] / figure 1: Hey queer! Where ya goin'? / figure 2: Hey! / fluffy [thinking]: Are they talking to me? / figure 1: I know you can hear me, ya queer faggot! / figure 2: Queeeeeeeeer! / fluffy [thinking]: There's nobody else around. / fluffy [thinking]: I'd best just ignore them. / figure 1: I bet you like it rough in the ass! Queer! / figure 2: Are you a guy or a girl? / figure 2: Fag! / fluffy [eyes clenched]: Just keep on walking. / [[fluffy gets home and slams the door]] / [[fluffy sees a pocket knife on the desk]] / [[fluffy opens the knife and holds it close to their left wrist, trembling]] / [[fluffy throws it aside]] / fluffy: No. / fluffy: There's a better way. / fluffy: Someday I'll graduate and leave this hick town and I can just be myself. / fluffy: Soon as I figure out what myself is. / fluffy: Things will get better. / fluffy: They have to. / ...and eventually, they did.
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101120.php
Journal: November 20, 2010: Heavy rain [[fluffy is heading home in the pouring rain, and is soaked in many spots. Three young children are running around.]] / fluffy [thinking]: Jeeze, my feet are soaked. / Child 1: This is so awesome! / Child 2: Yeah! / Child 1 [to fluffy]: Hey, you should get wet too! / fluffy: I'm already wet. / Child 1 [taking his shoe off and showing his foot to fluffy]: Look at my socks! They're all squishy! / [[fluffy and the children run up the street in the pouring rain without an umbrella, laughing all the way]]
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101122.php
 
Meat: 1. Steak tartare [[A Kayohash Oracle standing at the entrance to a vegetation filled habitat is met by a Dromaiu worker. The Oracle is wearing a backpack unit connected to a black monocle-like eyepiece with a wire.]] / worker: Hello, there. Can I help you? / Oracle: Good morning. Am Zero, believe my appointment is for now. / worker: You're Zero? From the Southern Council? / Oracle: Yes, in a sense. / worker: The image I saw was of another Kayohash. / Oracle: Pictures are not of me. Kayohash is not me. [[points to backpack unit]] This is me, in part. / worker: I...see. / Oracle: It is some confusing, my know. Am still accustoming to this-thing too. / worker: Would you prefer I find someone who can interpret Hiero? / Oracle: No, but thank you. Myself understand Torihan much better than my speak. Want to practice, for speak it better. / worker: Oh? Why is that? / Oracle: To make unifying language for all. / worker: You certainly seem ambitious. / {{caption: Or you could just go by declaration of fiat. Ask some Cantonese speakers which way works better.}}
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101203.php
Sketchbook: Morose [[A sepia-pencil sketch of a Kayohash looking morose]]
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101204.php
Meat: 2. Pork chitterlings [[The Kayohash Oracle and the Dromaiu worker are in some kind of facility. Another Dromaiu worker is seen in the background.]] / worker: I have to admit, I'm confused about the purpose of this visit. Why has the Southern Council sent you here? / Oracle: I come with my own interest. Food production is inwardly vital to all. / worker: I'm glad you think so. The South has never seemed to care before. / Oracle: If I am to be in operating the world, I need to know going on in-it. / worker: Sorry, but I'm having trouble understanding you. "Operating the world?" / Oracle: Yes, Unity. Icarus 184-31A. World, all this. Every part. / worker: Is the South intending to take over Centralia? / Oracle: Oh, no, not at all. The South is obsolete. Please, begins the tour. / {{caption: Rising again is so LAST millennium.}}
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101206.php
Meat: 3. Bouillon [[The Kayohash Oracle and the Dromaiu worker are looking into a barred enclosure contains several purple hominoids.]] / Oracle: These are Apes? / worker: Yes. Quite impressive, are they not? / Oracle: Yes. Big. / worker: And these are only juveniles! Right now they are nearly two meters from head to toe. As adults, they'd be three meters tall, and mass around three hundred kilograms! / Oracle: They stand like that at all times? / worker: No, right now they are waiting to be fed. We keep them on a strict feeding schedule. That way they grow the right ratio of fat to muscle. / worker: This is also when we select them for breeding, based on meat and milk yield and behavior. / Oracle: They all look same for me. / worker: Our stock is quite refined, but the trained eye can still see slight differences. Come, there is more to see. / {{caption: Not to sound racist or anything.}}
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101208.php
Meat: 4. Foie gras [[The Kayohash Oracle and the Dromaiu worker are looking through a window into a room full of flexible tubes coming down from the ceiling.]] / worker: This is the breeding room. As you can see, we have several females producing calves. They are all attached to an alimentary line and milking machines. / Oracle: Living incubators? / worker: You could call them that, I suppose. They are mammals, of course, so we can't just harvest their eggs. This method is the simplest we've found. / [[Two unconscious apes, with various devices attached to them, are strapped to chairs. The apes have stubs were their arms were.]] / Oracle: What has been done to them?! / worker: All their extraneous parts have been removed, to be processed as well as protect them and their young from injury. / Oracle: They have been made inert? / worker: Your could say that. / Oracle: This seems quite cruel. / worker: Ah, not at all! They don't have the mental capacity to know any better. / Zero: [[privately to the Oracle]] I'm so very sorry for making you see this. / worker: They simply eat food and produce two to three calves every tenround, as well as milk and raw fertilizer. After fifty rounds we send them off to final processing. / {{caption: I'm not a vegetarian, but I'm certainly sympathetic to the notion.}}
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101210.php
 
Guest art: Jazaaboo: Three cute pictures Three images by Jazaaboo/Tal-Pas Portaxx/NeonPteranodon/etc.: / 1. Navi and Midna vie for Wind Waker Link's attention (and he is possibly confused as to who they are or sleeping under a tree or something) / 2. Vibri (from Vib-Ribbon) plays or is otherwise in the world of Bit.Trip.Beat / 3. fluffy (plaid critter) is doing a DJ set a'la Beatmania. Two turntables and keyboards and note event bars and a goofy video being projected overhead for a crowd to trance out to.
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101211.php
Meat: 5. Sweetbreads [[The Kayohash Oracle and the Dromaiu worker are in a mechanized meat processing facility]] / worker: This is a separation line. Forced water jets separate out the muscle, fat, bone, and organ meat for our various purposes. / Oracle: How are some uses? / worker: Muscle is food for the masses, fat is processed to soap and lubricant, and organ meat is used as food and to supplement our ape feed. / worker: Bone is also quite useful for fertilizer, nutritional supplements, and gelatin. And of course, the best skin is made into leather for clothing and upholstery. / Oracle: What is the material efficiency? / worker: The process is practically zero net entropy. / Oracle: You waste nothing of these creatures, do you? / worker: Not one delicious bit. / {{caption: Material efficiency is of course important to a closed system with a fairly small and more or less fixed pool of physical resources.}}
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101213.php
Meat: 6. Roulade [[The Kayohash Oracle and the Dromaiu worker are in a packing room with boxes and other Dromaiu workers in the background]] / Oracle: It is... enlightening to know how are farmed. What are they like in their natural state? / worker: Ah, this question. This is as close to their natural state as they get after a hundred thousand rounds of breeding. / Oracle: What of wild apes? / worker: Long extinct. Ancient history. / Oracle: Surely they weren't always so docile... / worker: Actually, historical records show they were indeed. / Oracle: May I have acess to these records? / worker: Of course, although why do you care? / Oracle: As I said... if I'm going to be operating the world, I must know everything I can within it. / worker: Goodness, your Torihan certainly has improved. / {{caption: In case you were wondering, no, the hats aren't to keep feathers out of the food, obviously.}}
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101215.php
Meat: 7. Andouillette [[The Kayohash Oracle and the Dromaiu worker are in an office with pictures of apes on the wall. The worker is reaching for the top shelf of a bookcase.]] / worker: This old recording is known to be from John Halschild's first expedition to Centralia. It's in Mid Dromus, but there are several translation bands available. There might be a Hiero band, but you will clearly have no trouble with the Torihan. It's intended for flock hatchlings. / Oracle: Thank you. / worker: I must warn you that the image quality is rather... quaint. It's been converted quite a few times, of course. / Oracle: Of course. I'm amazed such old recordings are even usable. If you send it to my proxy node, I can ingest it while we continue the rest of the tour. / worker: I... really hope you used the wrong word there. / {{caption: Eventually, the dromaiu will figure out that this entire conversation has been with an artificial intelligence, and then they will have such a good laugh.}}
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101217.php
Guest art: Torpor: fluffy [[fluffy stands looking proud]]
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101218.php
 
Meat: 8. Prime Rib [[A video recording of the Dromaiu explorer John Halschild standing in a clearing within the wild Centralia jungle. Halschild is half out of frame]] / Halschild: Is it exposing? Landis, my boy, I had thought you knew how to operate a slit-scan. / Halschild: Well, never mind that, simply direct that end toward my location and that should thus be- / [[Zero sees itself watching the video. Zero's avatar is reaching for a dish of snacks.]] / Halschild: Blast it, Landis, merely set it upon that mount. / Halschild: The one you are standing just beside, you clumsy fool. / [[Back to the video. Halschild is now centered in the frame]] / Halschild: Ah, yes, I believe that shall do a spot. Let us begin, then. / {{caption: Give your AI Bit-Bits (TM) brand AI chow, the flavor that AIs crave.}}
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101220.php
Meat: 9. Tenderloin [[John Halschild is talking to the camera. A couple of other Dromaiu explorers are visible in the background. One is holding onto a worried looking Aikengyu. The are subtitles to the video.]] / Halschild: After tens of days at sea, we have finally arrived upon Opposition Island. The crew are taking a rest before we begin our survey. / subtitle: Opposition Island would later be named Centralia (find Centralia: An Illustrated Primer for Younglings in your flock's repository node) / Halschild: Oh, but what wonders await us in this new land? Even from the shore we can see tens of unidentified species. Even the best macroscopes in Dromus could not see that. / subtitle: Macroscopes were unable to see through the axial glare of the Hub during the day. Halschild barely knew Centralia was there! / Halschild: We are here to explore, and explore we shall. Tally-ho! / Landis: [jumping onscreen] Tally-ho! / Halschild: Control yourself, Landis. / subtitle: Landis was later treated for chronic ebullience, which we now know to be relatively harmless. Do you know anyone with ebullience? / Zero: Okay, let's turn these notes off... / {{caption: Fortunately, Landis' case of chronic ebullience was non-fatal.}}
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101222.php
Meat: 10. Langoustine [[A closeup of a broad leaf with a bug on it]] / Halschild: Yes, that insect, Landis. Does it not appear quite fragile? / Landis: No, it does! / Halschild: I believe it warrants further study. / [[A net swoops down on the insect, which flies upward]] / Halschild: Excellent! Give it to me, Landis. / [[Halschild pops the insect into his mouth]] / Halschild: Ah! It is quite delicious indeed.
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101224.php
Sketchbook: Over-Under-Through [[some... things]]
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101230.php
Sketchbook: Chameleon a chameleon... / [[A chameleon with horizontal stripes]] on paper / [[A fried egg]] on a fried egg / {{caption: by fluffy, age 6}}
http://beesbuzz.biz/d/20101231.php
 

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