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Unity: Bureaucracy in-action [[At the front of the line at the court house; Juni is being served by an Octona clerk]] / Clerk: State your name and purpose. / Juni: Officer Juni Melrose, here for Officer Ed Lombard's Academy tribunal. Docket 193857. / Clerk: What is the Hiero spelling of your name? / Juni: "Me-li-ró-su Yu-ni." / Clerk: Always start with that. / Clerk: You foreigners always slow the line down. / [[The next booth over, a Cuttleslug talks to an Aikengyu clerk. A cleaning robot begins wiping up the Cuttleslug's slime trail.]] / Clerk: Hm, you are not on the docket. What is your connection to the case? / Juni: Not on the docket?! He's on trial for attempting to murder me! / Clerk: Please keep your hand on the counter. / Clerk: It seems that the prosecution did not list you as being necessary- / Juni [interrupting]: I'm here to defend him. / [[In the background, the line behind Juni extends quite a ways back.]] / Juni: Look, I must speak with the arbiter. / Clerk: There is an opening in a deci. Would you like an appointment? / Juni: Yes. / Clerk: You'll be in chamber 2947. Are you familiar with the tribunal process? / Juni: Yes... I've done this before.
Unity: Testimonial [[Inside the deposition chamber]] / Arbiter [via communication unit]: Officer Juni Melrose? I am surprised that you would voluntarily testify. / Juni: I am surprised I was not requested for discovery. / Arbiter: Even though you were the victim of the assault, your testimonial was not deemed to be necessary. / [[External shot of deposition chamber; it is one of many pods in a large room. A foreground sign reads, "While in the deposition chamber, please disable all electronic devices." The chamber Juni is in has two signs on the door, one reading "Deposition chamber 2947," the other reading, "Please discard all food and drink." A red Aikengyu with green hair wanders in the background, wearing a blue cape.]] / Juni: But it is. / Arbiter: Both he and our advocate have stated that you would be unable to provide a reliable account. / Juni: My advocate? Who would that be, then? / Arbiter: Dean General Tamu Haring, of course. Is he not your advocate? / Juni: No, he is not. / Juni: Tamu is the root of this whole problem! I asked Ed to stage the attack. I was desperate- / Arbiter [interrupting]: You really did ask him to? / Juni: That is what I thought you'd want me to verify. / Arbiter: I would like you to review his testimony. You may find this a bit difficult to watch. / Juni: Okay.
Unity: Disbelief [[Juni watches a recording of Ed Lombard's testimonial; screen captions read Edward Lombard and Recording: 423:87]] / Arbiter: Did you direct Agent Harris in the assault on Officer Melrose? / Ed: I directed her to miss. / Arbiter: Why? / Ed: That breezing eunuch asked me to... convinced me to, somehow. / Ed: It said Haring was experimenting on it, needed a motive to escape the South. / Arbiter: Did Officer Melsore describe the nature of these "experiments?" / Ed: Juni said they were because of the Homin, that Haring wanted to discredit it before it could prove something about the world. / Arbiter: And you believed it? / Ed: Juni showed me... things, devices. They looked foreign. Alien. And Juni seemed to know what it all was. / Ed: But no, I didn't believe it. / Ed: And then it told me that if I didn't help that we would be doomed, and it would forget everything. But I decided not to do anything. / Ed: Then it went to the hospital and I got orders to distract it. So I acted. / Ed: But Juni still forgot and it left me here to rot. / Juni: That's enough.
Unity: Father figure Arbiter: It was my opinion that Lombard was hostile toward you and thus prone to deception. / Juni: While I dislike being called a eunuch, his testimonial was basically accurate. / Arbiter: And your memories...? / Juni: Have been recovered since the last time I spoke to Lombard. And then some. / Arbiter: Please explain. / Juni: I had been assisting Officers Corentin with a device left by the Homin, the beings who I believe constructed Unity. It... gave me memories. / Juni: I did what I could to understand them. Tamu felt that I had simply gone insane, and discounted anything from the project as being wildly fanciful. / Juni: Then he began to experiment on me... this was an excuse to learn more about memories and psychosis. / Juni: He intimidated me into playing along. Threatened to discredit me, claimed to be doing me favors. "I want to bring back the Juni I know and love," he always said. / Arbiter: Love? / Juni: Yes, after his wife died, we grew very close, in a father/child sort of way. / Juni: I literally never had a father. / Juni: That is how he was able to take advantage of me so thoroughly.
Unity: Coersion [[Flashback: Juni lying on the memory extraction table. A strap over its neck keeps it stationary on the table, while a large blue helmet with yellow lights extracts the memories from Juni's brain. Juni does not appear to be happy.]] / Juni [in the present]: Anyway, at this point I actually have three versions of my recent memory... my own, and those of two neural simulants. / Juni: They were created by Tamu, in his attempt to forensically determine the effects of the Homin repository on me. / [[Subjunctive: the two demiJuni instances floating in a white space. The angry short-haired one has its pseudoarms crossed while it glares at the happy long-haired one.]] / Juni: Ironically, one of the effects was to make me more receptive to external thought patterns, which is how the simulants communicated with me, and gave me their memories. / Juni: They are living beings. Artificial, yes, but they have as much a conscious as you or I do, and they have been tortured. / Juni: For Tamu to simply shut them off when he feels they are no longer useful is tantamount to murder. But that is his pattern. / Juni: And it's not just the simulants. He tried to coerce me... I mean, one of the simulants into replacing the memories of a complete stranger with no regard for his life.
 
Unity: Agreeable Arbiter: These are some extremely dire accusations you have leveled against Haring. Are there any others who may testify in support of this? / Juni: Yes... / Juni: Officers Corentin, Doctor Liam Goldberg, and my mother, [Hiero]Broodwitch Hira Melrose, who is presently in the city. / Arbiter:Will you be available to watch their testimonials? / Juni: Yes. / Arbiter: You will receive a one-kaysec warning before their scheduled sessions. Please be able to return to this deposition chamber within that time period. / Juni: Thank you. Oh, I just realized, Kali Rosha has some minor involvement as well. They may be willing to testify. / Arbiter: Kali Rosha, the reporter? / Juni: Yes. / Arbiter: Oh, dear... Is that testimonial vital? / Juni: No... why? Would that be a problem? / Arbiter: Good. We will not be involving them in this case, for reasons I am not yet able to disclose. / Juni [suspiciously]: Oh. I see. / Arbiter: You will, of course, keep these proceedings confidential in the meantime, won't you? / Juni [pressing the door open button and stepping out]: Yes.
Unity: Chance encounter [[Juni wanders in a park]] / [[Juni is lost in thought]] / [[Juni looks up, realizing that Tanya Harris is sitting on the park bench just ahead of it.]]
Unity: Succinct [[Juni tries to discreetly turn around]] / Tanya: Hello there, li'l critter. / Juni [[stopped in its tracks]]: Oh. Hi. How are you? / Tanya: Could be better. / [[Juni approaches Tanya]] / Juni: What's that you're reading? / Tanya: Story. / Juni: What kind? / Tanya: Fiction.
Unity: Things left unspoken Tanya: Gave my testimonial this mornin'. Arbiter's gonna put 'im away f'rever. / Juni [moving closer] I... don't think they will. / [[Tanya cocks an eye at Juni]] / Juni [sitting down]: Look, Tanya, I know it seems bleak right now but I am positive that everything is going to work out fine. / Tanya: Hmf. / Juni: I also shouldn't tell you this but I'm definitely on your and Ed's side. / [[Juni nervously looks around; Tanya worriedly looks at Juni]]
Unity: Stripes and solids [[Juni and Tanya lie naked in a field of grass, cuddling in the shade of a tree.]] / <> / <> / [[Juni wakes up from this small dream, having fallen asleep on the park bench]] / Juni: Hnnh? / Juni: Urgh. / <> / Juni [answering it mid-ring]: Hello? / Juni: Okay. I may be a bit late.
 
Sketchbook: fluffy gets horny [[fluffy sits on a nondescript surface in a nondescript space, showing off its new horns]]
Unity: Path crossing [[Juni re-enters the courthouse]] / Juni [thinking]: Ugh, which chamber was I in, again? / Tamu [off-panel]: Juni? / Juni [inner non-vocalized thoughts]: 2947 / Juni [thinking]: Right, 2947 / Tamu: Juni! / Juni [freezing]: Tamu...? / Tamu: Hello, Juni. / Tamu: I have to say, I'm quite surprised. / Tamu: I saw your testimonial. It seems we have quite a lot to discuss. / Juni: Tamu, you know how those things are-- / Tamu: Save it for after the tribunal.
Random: Ashes to ashes A: Hello, how are you today? / B [holding an urn]: Busy. I have to spread my father's ashes around. / A: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. / B: Yeah, I wish he'd quit smoking. / B: He smokes five packs a day, so he makes a lot of ash.
Random: Ashes to ashes, redux A: Hello, how are you today? / B [holding an urn]: Busy. I have to spread my father's ashes around. / A: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. / B: Yeah, I kept begging for him to stop the smoking. / B: But he still managed to fill the darn thing up.
Unity: Chandra/Kandra Testify [[Juni re-enters the deposition pod]] / Juni: Sorry I'm late. I fell asleep, and then I ran into-- / Chandra [on-screen]: I am rather confused as to why we were given a subpoena. The summary involved something we have no knowledge of. / Arbiter [voice]: The case focus has shifted somewhat. / Arbiter: You have been working with Dean General Tamu Haring, yes? / Chandra: Not "with" so much as "for." He had us analyze an ancient repository for information of scientific and historical importance. / Arbiter: And have you found any such information? / Chandra: Oh, goodness yes. The Homin were only a single species but they had an amazing diversity of culture. It can be quite difficult to understand them as a result... right now I am trying to piece together a timeline of the Ixcasidy Cultural Revision War. / Arbiter: I see. ANd how has the Dean General responded to this? / Chandra: So far he hasn't. He's been unwilling to notarize anything; the more I learn the less he believes. As a secondary plan I have been working with Kali Rosha to write a public-accessible rendition. They're a mainstream author, you see. / Arbiter: Yes, I am... familiar with Kali Rosha. / Kandra: Honk! / Juni [thinking]: That's what they're doing?
 
Unity: Falling apart Arbiter: Could you describe the involvement of Officer Juni Melrose in your studies? / Chandra: Ah, Juni. So strange... Well, we were having some trouble with the device, and Juni managed to get it to work. After that point it began to behave a bit oddly. / Arbiter: How so? / Chandra: Well, it made itself scarce. Tamu said it took a momentary leave to "sort things out." / Chandra: We hadn't seen it for a while when it came to a lecture. It seemed... hazy, and Tamu said something about it "making a few changes." The next time we met, it said it had been experiencing amnesia at the time, and then I learned that it and Kali were working on an article about some sort of attempt on its life. / Chandra: ... / Chandra: Oh, goodness, that's not what this tribunal is about, is it? I am so stu-- / Kandra: Honk honk! Hrronk. / Chandra: Oh, oh my. Is Tamu really capable of that? / Arbiter: Of what? / Chandra: That's what this is about, isn't it? Tamu didn't like some research Juni was doing, and tried to have it killed? / Juni [thinking]: [Homin epithet meaning "Copulate"]. / Arbiter: I request that you refrain from drawing conclusions. / Kandra: Hrr. / Chandra: Oh, goodness, I'm sorry! Yes, protocol must be upheld.
Unity: Intents vs. Expectations Arbiter: Officer Melrose, my mammal facial expression guide shows that you are looking irritated. Was the Corentin testimonial not quite what you expected? / Juni: I must have taken something they said out of context. / Juni: Also I'm not a mammal, by the way. / Arbiter: Precedent establishes you as "close enough." / Arbiter: Perhaps you could explain what you had expected the Corentins to tell me. / Juni: That Tamu had tried to convince them to stop what they were working on. That he had abused his authority to stifle their research. / Arbiter: This is something they had told you? / Juni: no / Arbiter: What, Officer, is your intention in all of this? / Juni: [English]Damnit, I'm just trying to save us all! This stupid, fragile world that isn't meant to still be going! / Juni: I'm not going to chew my tail while Unity goes to entropy. / Arbiter: We have already recorded testimonial from Doctor Liam Goldberg. Perhaps now is a good time for your review, Officer Melrose.
Unity: Doctor's assessment Goldberg: Melrose had been dropped off by persons unknown during a major seizure. When it awoke, it had no recollection of who or what it was. Before I could question it further, an Agent took it away. / Goldberg: On later visits, it had regained some of its memories, but it seemed paranoid. The topic of Officer Haring in particular made it anxious... It also seemed a bit... manic when referring to its ongoing research. / Arbiter: [[voice-over]] Did you ever determine what had happened? / Goldberg: [[voice-over]] It eventually claimed it had inflicted amnesia upon itself in order to keep Officer Haring happy, but did not go into detail. It also said that it was now experiencing synesthetic responses that it didn't have until recently. / Goldberg: Whatever is going on, it is far beyond my diagnostic capabilities. I suggested it seek psychiatric help. / [[Juni watches, clutching its hair.]] / Arbiter: [[voice-over]] Is there anyone else with whom you have consulted for advice? / Goldberg: [[voice-over]] Not as such, no, although early on I did ask a reporter my husband knows if they'd heard anything. Kali Rosha, with the Southern Daily Axis. / Arbiter: Yes, I am quite familiar with Kali Rosha. It does seem they are rather... prolific in this matter. / Arbiter: I am beginning to regret that a conflict of interest prevents me from questioning them in this. / Arbiter: Not that they'd tell me anything...
Unity: No surprises Arbiter: [[voice-over]] Officer Melrose, I find it interesting that if you had not come forward to defend Captain Lombard, we would have found him guilty of attempted murder. Your decision is admirable. / Arbiter: However, in doing so, you have only incriminated yourself, and shown yourself to be unfit for Academy duty. / Arbiter: I am prepared to offer you a summary judgment. If you agree to to psychiatric intervention, all charges against both yourself and Lombard will be dropped, and these records will remain sealed. / [[Extreme close-up of Juni's ear.]] / Juni: I see. And what of Tamu? / Arbiter: You never actually formally accused the Dean General. / Juni: Oh. Right. That's good, I guess. / Juni: Could I continue my research? / Arbiter: You would be barred from such activity until you are proven completely sane. / Juni: [[talking over Arbiter]] No... I need to see it through. / [[Extreme close-up of Juni's mouth.]] / Arbiter: That is unfortunate... but not surprising. Very well. The next testimonial is that of Agent Samantha Roarke in 3.2 kay- / Juni: [[talking over Arbiter]] Sam. / Arbiter: Pardon? / Juni: Please... just call him Sam. You'll understand when you see him. / Arbiter: Him? / Arbiter: Oh, I see. Very well.
Sketchbook: Jazaaboo vs. the Dog-Head Girl [[Jazaaboo/NeonPteranodon/whatever stands next to the severed head of SWIFTKILL on a wooden pike, wearing a random background WOLF!!!!!'s shrunken head as a necklace]]
 
Unity: Blue period Sam: Yes, I was Juni's assigned Agent, I guess for the last thirty rounds. Somehow the time passed quickly. / Sam: But not anymore. Ugh, can't believe I spent so long... / Sam: The last round especially. Kept having to do so much... our relationship was in the tank, everything just went outwards... what a mess. Everything. Juni couldn't trust me? Like candy. I shouldn't have trusted it so much. / Sam: Urgh, and Juni and Tamu, what a pair of kessels! What the breeze is wrong with them? It's like it's all some jarbreezing experiment to them. / Arbiter: [[voice-over]] Please be mindful of the profanity, Agent Roarke. / Sam: Oh... sorry. Thinking about them just kinks my rumen with stress. / Arbiter: A strange expression. It abrades your radula? / Sam: Uh, I guess...? / Sam: Juni has been like an entirely different person since the whole Homin thing and even acts like it doesn't know what it was doing, even though I know it got its memory back. / Sam: I dunno if its personality changed or if this just helped its true self to shine through but I just want nothing to do with it.
Unity: Consequences Arbiter: [[voice-over]] I apologize for the stress, Agent, but it would be helpful if you could describe the "Homin thing" in more detail. / Sam: Weird crap. Neural implants and psychotic breakdowns and brain simulations, on and on... / Sam: I don't even know what was going on, just that they were experimenting and Juni got obsessive like usual and Tamu kept on dinking around with it. / Sam: [[voice-over]] Somewhere along the line, something Tamu did made something break in Juni's head, and he stopped caring about the Homin repository and tried to fix Juni. I did what I could to help but I only made things worse. / Sam: Tamu decided to wipe its memory as a last resort but even that... / Sam: It's like I'm dealing with two different people, and I can never tell which one I'm talking to, but neither one is the Juni Melrose I remember. / [[Juni slumps on the desk holding with one arm over its head, looking pained.]] / Sam: I dunno, deep down inside it might still be my friend but right now I want to be with what little family I have. Does that make me a bad person? / Arbiter: [[voice-over]] I cannot answer that. You are not the one on trial. / Sam: Oh. Trial. / Sam: Right. / Sam: I got nothing else to say.
Unity: Respite, fleeting Arbiter: [[voice-over]] Officer Melrose? Are you awake and present? / Juni: [[cradling head in arms]] Nrh. / Arbiter: There are only two witnesses left on the docket... your mother , and Academy Officer Sasha Tzernikov. / Arbiter: I suspect that you would enjoy knowing that Officer Tzernikov came forward on its own accord, much as you did for Lombard. / Arbiter: Officer Melrose, you appear ill. Do you require medical assistance? / Juni: [[lifting head up a bit]] No. / Arbiter: You should also know that our Bailiffs have been having great difficulty contacting your mother. After Lieutenant Tzernikov gives us its deposition you will have one deci to bring your mother here. / Juni: [[head slumping back down]] Nrh.
Random: Let's Make A Deal Emperor Monty Hall: Well, Bob, behind one of these doors is the love of your life, but behind the other two is a man-eating tiger. Which door will you choose? / Bob: I'll go with door number 3, Monty! / Emperor Monty Hall: Okay, but first, let's open one of the other doors. / Bob: What?! / Emperor Monty Hall: Behind door number 1 is... a man-eating tiger! / Emperor Monty Hall: So, Bob, do you still want door 3, or are you going to switch to door number 2? / Bob [whilst being eaten]: Aagh! Get it off of me!
Unity: Solidarity Arbiter: [[voice-over, in mid-sentence]] case, how do you explain its recent behavior? / Sasha: [[voice-over]] Officer ME-LI-RÓ-SU's nature is one of a non-linear thought process. It is sometimes hard to understand. It needs to have the right questions asked so that it knows what to answer. / Arbiter: That is not what I was asking. Do you believe Melrose to be of sound mind? / Sasha: I do not have "beliefs." The facts indicate that ME-LI-RÓ-SU acts on an understanding that is difficult to comprehend. / [[Juni, head resting on its arms, glares off-panel.]] / Sash: [[on-panel]] The creation of the simulants was part of its plan. Its neural interface to ancient systems in Unity was part of its plan. Connecting a simulant to this interface was part of its plan. It testing this interface on itself was part of its plan. / Sasha: The end result of TA-MU's concern for YU-NI's well-being was not part of its plan. / Sasha: The events described in the prior testimonial precisely derive from TA-MU's unexpected intervention. / Arbiter: Prior testimonial?! I did not authorize you to view that. / Sasha: [[voice-over, talking over Arbiter]] It was simple to socially engineer a Bailiff. I submit to any punitive measures against myself. They are immaterial. / Juni: [[thinking]] Oh, Sasha... / Sasha: It is my nature to follow logical paths of reasoning. Based on actions of Officer ME-LI-RÓ-SU and on facts I know, my conclusion is that it is in the best interest of Unity that I continue to work to YU-NI's advantage.
 
Unity: Rendezvous with Mama [[Juni sits on a bench, talking on a data node.]] / Juni: Hi, this is Officer Juni Melrose. I need you to collect Hira Melrose and bring her to the central court building. / Juni: Okay, great. I'll transmit her data node ID. / Juni: She looks like me but older. / Juni: Oh, sorry. A Kayohash. Light purple, blue hair. / Juni: Yes, "Spadetail." Argh. / Juni: I don't know, she may- / Juni: [[spots Hira in foreground]] Sorry,cancel this request. / Juni: [[Kajoshi]] Mom! There you are! The [[Hiero]] Bailiffs couldn't locate you. Did you [[Hiero]] deactivate the [[Hiero]] data node? / Hira: The stupid thing that kept on sparkling and telling me to come this direction? / Juni: Yes. / Hira: How you can tolerate all this junk is beyond me.
Unity: Specialization is not just for insects Juni: [[Kajoshi]] This isn't going well at all. I need you to tell them about Tsan and what the "shrine" did to everyone. / Hira: Why yes, this is wonderful weather we're having. It is so nice to see you. / Juni: Ngrrf. Mom, there are more important things than smalltalk. / Hira: There is always time for basic civility, Juni. / Juni: Argh, fine. Hi mom, have you eaten? How was your day? / Hira: Very strange. Why did everyone ask me what my [[Hiero]] "specialty" is? / Juni: [[Hiero]] "Specialty?" You didn't go to [[Hiero]] Little Kajoshu, did you? / Hira: Yes, I wanted to see what sort of Broodwitch you have around here. What is [[Hiero]] "specialty?" / Juni: Never mind that. Let's just get you inside.
Journal: 2009/10/17: A Night at the Museum fluffy: Hey, Shaenon, sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you could do me a big favor... / Shaenon: What? / fluffy: Well, I want to meet Jesse Reklaw but I have no idea what he looks like. Could point him out to me? / [[A greenish man looks at fluffy curiously.]] / Shaenon: Let me get this straight... You want me to point him out to you? / fluffy: Yes? / Shaenon: And you have no idea what he looks like? / fluffy: Yes... / [[The greenish man looks blank.]] / Shaenon: He could be anybody here, at this very moment. / fluffy: Yeah. / Shaenon: Annnyone at all, here in this room. / fluffy: Oh! / Jesse Reklaw: [[who was there all along as the greenish man]] Hi.
Unity: Lost in translation Merideth: Hi there! How can I be of service? / Juni: Yes, this is Me-li-ró:-su Hi-ra, a consult on case number 193857. She needs a Kajoshi translator. / Merideth: Looking... We already have a chamber assigned. Room 2947. / Juni: Are you sure? That's my chamber. / Merideth: Yes, it is. 2947, Juni Melrose. I will send for your translator. / Merideth: Your Hiero is quite good, by the way, but I can see why you'd want translation. / Juni: What? I don't need a translator, Hira does. / Merideth: And you will get one. If you would- / Juni: I really don't think you quite understand. / Merideth: Um... Let me get a supervisor. / Juni: Thank you.
Unity: Send in the clones Shane: Yes, Merideth? Is there a problem? / Merideth: Yeah, this foreigner seems to be a little bit confused. / Juni: I'm neither. I am Officer Juni Melrose and I need a translator and a room for Hira Melrose, my mother. / Shane: Okay, look. / Shane: That is Juni, and that is Hira. See? / Merideth: No, I see two of the same spadetail. Both of them are Juni Melrose. / Shane: Merideth... / Merideth: Same data node registration and this picture is clearly of both of them, right? / Shane: I apologize for this. Merideth can be a little slow sometimes. / Merideth: What'd I do wrong now? / Shane: Your mother is visiting from another province, right? May we establish her identity with genomics? / Juni: That wouldn't work either. We're basically twins. / Shane: I see. / Shane: Wait, what? / Merideth: See? This job is hard!
 

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