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| Irregular Webcomic! #2642 | Lambert: So you couldn't create a fireball because there was no source of flame handy? / / Kyros: Right. if one of those orcs had been carrying a flaming torch, I could have fireballed them to oblivion. / / Lambert: Well let's hope for better luck next time. / / [[a fire elemental appears]] / / Lambert: Oh, this is just asking for trouble. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2642.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2643 | Young Adam: So how do we disguise ourselves as Martians? / / Mary: Just go to the crash site and walk up and down making "beep beep" noises. With their scientists gone, the soldiers will fall for anything. / / Young Jamie: Do they really expect aliens to look just like humans? / / Sue: This is 1947. Actually you should probably speak English with just a slight accent. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2643.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2644 | [[scene: The dining car, on board a train from Berlin to Palermo]] / / Prof. Jones: I'll have the lobster bisque, followed by the filet mignon with truffle sauce, white asparagus, and saffron potatoes. / / Waiter: Very good, sir. And some wine? / / Prof. Jones: We'll try the Château Noir '23. / / Waiter: Excellent choice, sir. / / Monty: You certainly like living the high life, dad. / / Prof. Jones: You're paying, right? http://irregularwebcomic.net/2644.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2645 | Mercutio: How's the Lord of the Rings prequel trilogy going, Will? / / Shakespeare: Good. I've introduced a bumbling comic relief character who talks funny to increase appeal to the juvenile audience. / / Mercutio: Awesome! That's an inspired move! / / Shakespare: I got the idea off Scooby Doo. / / Mercutio: Yeah, it worked there! I'm sure it'll be a hit! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2645.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2646 | Steve: We've come here to end this horrible war! / / Rick: End the war? So you're an idealist, huh? / / Rick: You can't end the war early. It runs for another five years. You must remember this! The fundamental things apply, as time goes by. / / Terry: Wait... This all sounds vaguely familiar. / / Rick: Here's looking at you, kid. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2646.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2647 | [[scene: On board a zeppelin]] / / Haken: Die Mediterranean Sea! All great empires have been built on its shores! Die Egyptians! Die Greeks! Die Carthaginians! Die Romans! Die Byzantines! / / Haken: Die Third Reich shall continue this great tradition! / / Erwin: Germany does not have a shore on die Mediterranean, Herr Kolonel. / / Haken: Bah! There is only France in die way! / / Erwin: That is a long way to walk in swimming trunks... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2647.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2648 | [[scene: elsewhere in the seedy Rubilith Starport docks]] / / Shady Black Market Dealer 2: We have some live splanches to sell. These organs are in high demand on Bune. / / Quercus: Only a few species have splanches. Where do you get them? / / Shady Black Market Dealer 2: We have three Martians with regenerative powers. We chain them to rocks and have eagles rip out their splanches every day. / / Quercus: Those poor beings! That sounds like eternal torment! / / Shady Black Market Dealer 2: Oh, no, we change the eagles regularly. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2648.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2649 | Edmond Halley: Mr Newton! I have some strange astronomical observations I can make neither head nor tail of. Perhaps you would be so good as to peruse them? / / Isaac Newton: Mr Halley, these figures indicate a confluence of historical junctures. Time itself is being unravelled! / / Edmond Halley: Where?! / / Isaac Newton: Now where, when. In the distant future. The 1940s to be precise. / / Edmond Halley: A world-shaking event in the 1940s? Some new form of musical entertainment, perhaps? http://irregularwebcomic.net/2649.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2650 | Lambert: A fire elemental! Go on, Kyros, destroy it in an all-consuming globe of flame! / / Kyros: There's just one problem. Fire elementals are immune to fire. / / Lambert: You mean the one time we actually have confidence in your abilities and they're useless? / / Alvissa: No, no... I've been confident his abilities are useless before. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2650.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2651 | [[scene: The desert outside Roswell]] / / Young Adam: If it's that easy to fool the Army, we could avoid the crash site and just walk up to a soldier and claim to be Martians. / / Young Jamie: Don't be stupid. How could anyone be so gullible? / / Young Adam: [[to Soldier Ishmael]] Hi. We're Martians from the crashed flying saucer. Take us to your leader. / / Soldier Ishmael: I don't take orders from Martians! Hands up! I'm taking you to my leader! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2651.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2652 | Minnesota Jones: <sip> / / Minnesota Jones: Uergh! I think there's something wrong with this wine. / / Prof. Jones: Ridiculous! It's Château Noir '23. / / Minnesota Jones: More like Eau du 23 Chats Noirs. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2652.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2653 | [[scene: the water cooler]] / / Mercutio: I'm running an analysis of our network traffic. / / Mercutio: To get an estimate of the maximum hourly variance, I'm using a bootstrap resampling of data logged from different days. / / Mercutio: Being a discrete stochastic process, the number of packets inherently follows a Poisson distribution. / / Ophelia: Sounds... fascinating. / / Mercutio: I call this the Poiss-in-Boots method. / / Ophelia: Okay, kill me now. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2653.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2654 | Spanners: I'm installing a few hundred software updates and upgrading the ship's AI. / / Iki Piki: The ship has an artificial intelligence? How come it never talks to us? / / Spanners: It spends all its time analysing open source software licences for us to make sure we're compliant. / / Iki Piki: Oh, so it doesn't like us then. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2654.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2655 | Nazi Officer: Well, well, well. Rick. We have a complete dossier on you: American, age 37. Cannot return to his country. The reason is a little vague. / / Nazi Officer: We also know what you did in Paris, Rick, and also we know why you left Paris. / / Terry: Wait, wait, wait! There are Nazis in London? In 1940?? / / Rick: You see, kid? The problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2655.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2656 | Fire Elemental: Kyros, I have come to offer you a bargain. / / Lambert: It talks! / / Kyros: A bargain, o elemental? What sort of bargain? / / Fire Elemental: It is well known to my kind that you have mastered the element of fire and flame. / / Alvissa: Ahem. / / Fire Elemental: Well, in a manner of speaking, anyway. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2656.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2657 | Edmond Halley: Time is unravelling?! Can we stop it? / / Isaac Newton: There is only one way to find out. We must gather the greatest natural philosophers from all eras of history and assemble in the 1940s. / / Edmond Halley: Surely you jest, Mr Newton! / / Isaac Newton: Do I look as though I am jesting, Mr Halley? http://irregularwebcomic.net/2657.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2658 | [[scene: the desert near Roswell. A black van stands behind the characters]] / / Soldier Ishmael: I'm taking you to Area 51. / / Young Adam: What are Areas 1 through 50? / / Soldier Ishmael: Oh, they're international government cover-ups for other mysteries around the world. Area 3 is Atlantis, for example. / / Young Jamie: So all those myths about strange and legendary places and events...? / / Soldier Ishmael: All true. / / Young Adam: Wow. I don't think that leaves us with any myths to bust in the future. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2658.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2659 | [[scene: the Berlin to Palermo train]] / / Monty: There are Ancient Greek texts in the library of the Classical Museum in Tripoli. / / Monty: That's easily the most obvious place to look for any evidence of the Gorgons and their mythical powers of petrification. / / [[scene change: a zeppelin flying over the Mediterranean]] / / Haken: So how do we find these Gorgons? / / Ginny: The Classical Museum in Tripoli has collected a suspiciously large number of extremely lifelike statues over the years... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2659.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2660 | Shakespeare: This Lord of the Rings prequel trilogy is taking a long time to write. / / Mercutio: I had another idea, for while the fans are eagerly awaiting your new instalments. / / Mercutio: Go back and revise scenes in the original trilogy. Release them as a "Special Edition". / / Mercutio: We're so going to be rich! / / Shakespeare: We're so going to be sued. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2660.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2661 | Rick: So how do you propose to stop this war? / / Steve: We'll take out Hitler! / / Rick: You poor deluded fool. Time travellers can't kill Hitler. / / Steve: Crikey! I never meant kill 'im! I'll wrestle 'im into submission! / / Rick: Well I have to admit, that's a unique approach. / / Steve: I reckon 'e'd be pretty stroppy though. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2661.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2662 | Long Tom: Arrr! What be this devilry! / / Dirque: It be a maelstrom cap'n! The ship'll be bein' sucked into the briny deeps! / / Long Tom: Batten down the hatches! Abaft the beam! Bilges ahoy! Load the gunwales! Hoist the yardarm! Furl the mizzen-mast! Belay that marlinspike! / / Wendy: Ye not be knowin' what those terms be meanin', do ye? / / Long Tom: Arrr! It be matterin' not, neither be the crew! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2662.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2663 | Fire Elemental: Kyros, you are the greatest elemental wizard in all the lands! / / Alvissa: Wait, wait... Kyros is the greatest? / / Fire Elemental: Greatness is often linked with insanity. / / Alvissa: Ah, right. Go on. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2663.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2664 | Serron: Workers are loading our new cargo. We need to deliver it to Bune. / / Paris: Bune? But we've been there in the future. We could meet our past selves. / / Serron: What's the worst that could happen? / / Paris: We could destroy the universe. Again! / / Serron: We're still here, aren't we? / / Paris: Only because we went back in time! / / Serron: See? We have a contingency plan! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2664.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2665 | Isaac Newton: Granted my superior insights into the nature of the cosmos, I have constructed an apparatus capable of conveying us through time. / / Edmond Halley: Mr Newton, yours is indeed and beyond a shadow of a doubt an intellect of the first order. / / Isaac Newton: Here it is. [[it's a blue Police box]] / / Edmond Halley: Mr Newton, I believe this provides evidence for the aphorism that greatness is often linked with insanity. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2665.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2666 | Soldier Ishmael: The secret Areas are numbered sequentially. 51 is relatively modern. / / Young Jamie: But you said Atlantis is Area 3. Thet predates conventional history. What could possibly be before that? / / Soldier Ishmael: All I know is that Area 1 is somewhere in Tibet. / / Young Adam: Tibet? / / Caption: Meanwhile, in present day Tibet: / / Yeti: We have a situation developing in the 1940s. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2666.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2667 | [[scene: The sea front in Tripoli]] / / Ginny: The Classical Museum is housed inside the 16th century Ottoman era Red Castle in Tripoli. / / Ginny: It's still the most strategic fortification in North Africa. Any invading force would do well to take it. / / Haken: Erwin! Write that down! / / Erwin: Jawohl! / / Ginny: You're taking archaeological notes? / / Haken: Ja... archaeological, ja, of course. That is what I am doing. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2667.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2668 | Rick: Thousands of time travellers have already tried to kill Hitler, and all have failed. / / Rick: The closest anyone ever got was starting the Reichstag fire with him in the building. But Nazi science saved him as a brain in a jar. / / Terry: What... what?? / / Rick: Hitler survives as a disembodied brain from 1933 to 1945. / / Terry: That's insane! / / Steve: They say greatness is often linked with insanity. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2668.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2669 | Adam: You know, Jamie, ever since our younger selves visited us from the past, I've been thinking about busting time travel myths. / / Jamie: That's a great idea! But to bust those, we'd need a time machine of our own. / / Adam: Right! So myth one: You can build a time machine using instructions off the Internet! / / Adam: I found these plans for just $600. / / Jamie: Greatness is often linked with insanity: Myth confirmed. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2669.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2670 | Cat: Meow! Meow! / / Edmond Halley: It appears as though your cat wishes to accompany us on our time odyssey. / / Isaac Newton: Did you know that cat can now walk through walls? / / Edmond Halley: A cat who walks through walls! Will wonders never cease? / / Isaac Newton: I just made a hole in the door and put a flap over it... / / Edmond Halley: Ahead of your time, Mr Newton, ahead of your time. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2670.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2671 | Paris: Preflight checklist. Engines? / / Spanners: Check. / / Paris: Navigation? / / Iki Piki: Check. / / Paris: Cargo? / / Serron: Check. / / Paris: Wait a minute. Something's dreadfully wrong. / / Iki Piki: What?! / / Paris: We're getting off this planet without anyone getting attacked or arrested. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2671.html |
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