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| Irregular Webcomic! #2552 | Ghost: So how are we supposed to stop this wizard from blowing up the mountains? / / Mordekai: Drain all the mana he's gathering. / / Mordekai: Don't ghosts have an energy drain attack or something? / / Ghost: If we did, I wouldn't be talking to you... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2552.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2553 | [[scene: a forest in cyberspace]] / / Paris: So. The Tangled Forest. How are we supposed to find a Ruby of Dwarven Might in all of this? / / Spanners: There's a dwarf! Let's ask him! / / Iki Piki: Hmmm. That might work. / / Serron: It's really hard work, this questing business. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2553.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2554 | [[scene: Scientist Jamie and Scientist Adam operating on the Martian in the Roswell Army Air Field labs.]] / / Scientist Jamie: So how come you know so much about Martians? / / Teenage Jane Goodall: A few years ago this crazy old lady came to my house and taught me all about them. I dunno who she was. / / Scientist Adam: Hmmm. That's weird. / / Teenage Jane Goodall: There. That organ is the splanch. Remove it and put it in cryogenic storage. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2554.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2555 | [[scene: the Jurassic]] / / [[beat]] / / Allosaurus: RAAARRRHH!! / / Jane Goodall: I actually suggest we run. [[she and Terry start running]] / / Steve: [[looking at them as they run away]] Well that's no fun! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2555.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2556 | Ghost: All right. I'll see what we can do about this mad wizard of yours. / / Dwalin: Say, ghuist. D'ye ken if we coontinue on thus route, wi'll emerge on thu far side o' thu moontains? [[translation: Say, ghost. Do you know if we continue on this route, we'll emerge on the far side of the mountains?]] / / Ghost: Oh sure. Just keep going and turn left at the three-way fork. / / Lambert: Left? / / Ghost: Right. / / Mordekai: Right? / / Ghost: Yes. / / Lambert: Okay, good. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2556.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2557 | [[scene: The Vatican, 1633]] / / Pope Urban VIII: So, how did the trial of Galileo go? / / Man in Black: Here is the transcript. / / [[scene change: flashback to courtroom]] / / Galileo: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me. / / Member of Public: He's just a poor boy, from a poor family. / / Galileo: Easy come, easy go, will you let me go? / / Judge: No, we will not let you go! / / Member of Public: Let him go! / / Judge: We will not let you go! / / [[scene change: flashback ends]] / / Pope Urban VIII: Can we trust this? / / Man in Black: Yes. This transcript comes from none other than the Queen. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2557.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2558 | Ginny: [[walking along a street at night in Berlin]] Do you like being a Nazi, Erwin? / / Erwin: Well, die pay is not so good, but it is a steady job. / / Ginny: Have you ever considered working for Russia? / / Erwin: That would be treason! / / Ginny: Treason against the Nazis. Somehow I don't think that will count much against you in the fullness of time. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2558.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2559 | Allosaurus: [[chasing Steve, Terry, and Jane Goodall]] RAAARRRHH!! / / Terry: How are we going to get back to our own time? / / Jane Goodall: Simple. We find a time machine. / / Terry: In the Jurassic? / / Jane Goodall: Do you know how many time travellers have come here and been killed by dinosaurs? There's abandoned time machines all over the place! / / Terry: Oh, that's just ridicu... / / [[they come across a time machine]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/2559.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2560 | Spanners: Hi. We're looking for the Ruby of Dwarven Might. / / Ruby: Aye, that's me. I'm Ruby. [[translation: Yes, that's me. I'm Ruby.]] / / Iki Piki: You are? But... Ruby is a girl's name! / / Ruby: Aye. [[translation: Yes.]] / / Iki Piki: But... you have a beard! / / Ruby: Aye. And whut's so weird aboot that? [[translation: Yes. And what's so weird about that?]] / / Serron: Well that explains the odd behaviour we saw in that strange dwarven bar near the Golden Citadel... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2560.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2561 | Kerim Bey: Come to dinner with me tonight. You'll like my Gypsy friends. I use them like the Russians use the Bulgars. / / Stud: That sounds good. / / Kerim Bey: It's nothing to do with your mission, but it's a good excuse to watch two scantily clad women wrestling. / / Stud: That sounds even better! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2561.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2562 | Ghost: [[alone in the Paths of the Dead]] Oh man, I forgot to tell them about the Balrog. / / Ghost: They're dead men. / / [[beat]] / / Ghost: Of course, so am I. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2562.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2563 | Soldier Ishmael: Quick, docs! You're supposed to be doing the alien autopsy in here! / / Young Jamie: It looks like we already are. / / Scientist Jamie: Who are you?! / / Young Adam: We're your grandsons from the future. We've come back in time to propose a dangerous scientific experiment. / / Scientist Adam: Hmmm. Go on. / / Teenaged Jane Goodall: Wow, it's like an acid wash for the fabric of reality. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2563.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2564 | Monty: Quick! It's almost dawn! A guard is coming! Dig! / / SFX: step step step / / Sallah: Hello, Monty, Professor, Schliemannian Chair. / / Prof. Jones: Sallah! / / Minnesota Jones: Wotcher. / / Monty: Sallah! What took you so long? / / Sallah: I thought this time I would make things a bit more suspenseful. / / Prof. Jones: Much obliged. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2564.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2565 | Iki Piki: You're the Ruby of Dwarven Might?? / / Ruby: Aye. [[translation: yes]] / / Serron: What's so mighty about you, then? / / [[Ruby lifts all of the others over her head, at once]] / / Serron: Okay, fair call. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2565.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2566 | Scientist Jamie: So let me get this straight. You came back in time, slept with our girlfriends, and now you want to kill us to see if it will destroy reality? / / Scientist Adam: Sounds reasonable to me. / / Teenaged Jane Goodall: This is about as awkward a situation as is possible, I suspect. / / Martian 2: [[entering, pointing a gun]] Hands up! I'm rescuing my fellow Martian! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2566.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2567 | [[scene: the Jurassic]] / / Terry: Quick! Activate the time machine! / / Jane Goodall: We need to check the settings first. It could take us anywhere! / / Terry: The question is, will it be taking us in one piece, or ripped into multiple bloody chunks?! / / Allosaurus: RAAARRRHH!! / / Jane Goodall: It depends. Some time machines don't permit the passage of living... / / Terry: Aargh!! [[presses a button on the time machine as the Allosaurus approaches]] / / SFX: press / / SFX: ZUUURCH!! [[they all vanish, including the Allosaurus]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/2567.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2568 | Kyros: At last! I have enough mana to destroy the Orcrift Mountains! This will be the greatest feat of sorcery ever accomplished! / / Kyros: It was risky gathering that much mana; one distraction and it could have been disaster. But nothing can stop me now! / / Ghost: Excuse me, I'm looking for a crazy fire wizard. / / Kyros: Huh?... / / SFX: Fwackoom! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2568.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2569 | All: Run! [[they flee from the Martians]] / / Martian 2: Did they hurt you? / / Martian 3: They removed my splanch. / / Martian 2: Well that's not a problem. You'll grow another one. / / Martian 3: Oh, and they didn't offer me any frozen yoghurt. / / Martian 2: Barbarians. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2569.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2570 | [[scene: the Infinite Featureless Plane of Death]] / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: WELL, WELL, WELL. / / Ghost: [[now opaque]] Where am I? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: THE INFINITE FEATURELESS PLANE OF DEATH. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: YOU ABSORBED ALMOST ALL THE DAMAGE OF THE BLAST. / / Ghost: Woohoo! / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: SHAME. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SUCH A NICE FIREBALL TOO. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2570.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2571 | Mercutio: I'm using this great new bug tracking software. It uses lossy data compression. / / Shakespeare: Lossy? / / Mercutio: Yeah, it loses track of bugs at random. / / Shakespeare: Is that a good idea? / / Mercutio: It's a great way to reduce the number of bugs I have to deal with. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2571.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2572 | Scientist Adam: Whoa. What's this? / / Young Jamie: It's our time machine. / / Scientist Jamie: So wait. You still want to eliminate us so you can see if you can become your own grandfathers? / / Young Adam: That's the idea. / / Scientist Adam: [[to Scientist Jamie]] Are you thinking what I'm thinking? / / Scientist Jamie: I think so... / / SFX: ZUUURCH!! [[Scientist Adam and Scientist Jamie vanish with the time machine]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/2572.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2573 | Mordekai: Here's the three-way fork. We go right. / / Lambert: The ghost said left. / / Mordekai: No, he said right. / / Lambert: He said left was right! / / Mordekai: Oh, I suppose you'd believe him if he said black was white! / / Lambert: I suppose you think right is never wrong! / / Draak: This not be such mess if you all speak Draak tongue... http://irregularwebcomic.net/2573.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2574 | Monty: Quick, Sallah. Get us out of here! / / Sallah: Oh, I don't think so, Monty. / / Monty: Huh? / / Sallah: You see, I've been working for the Nazis all along. / / Monty: WHAT?!?!?! / / [[beat]] / / Sallah: Ah ha ha ha! Just joking! / / Monty: Don't do that! / / Prof. Jones: Ha ha! The look on your face! Good one, Sallah! http://irregularwebcomic.net/2574.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2575 | Paris: Well if you're the Ruby of Dwarven Might, we've completed the quest and should emerge from cyberspace. / / Ruby: Aye. / / SFX: Ping! [[they appear in reality]] / / Paris: Ah, good. / / Serron: What I want to know is what sort of idiot came up with such a ridiculous and pointless quest. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2575.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2576 | Dwalin: Ookay, are we agreed thu ghuist said either left or right? [[translation: Okay, are we agreed the ghost said either left or right?]] / / Mordekai: Yeees. / / Lambert: Yes. / / Dwalin: Soo if we goo left, or right, there's a 50% chance we'll find thu cirrect way, and a 50% chance we'll most likely die horribly. [[translation: So if we go left, or right, there's a 50% chance we'll find the correct way, and a 50% chance we'll most likely die horribly.]] / / Lambert: Or we could split up! / / Dwalin: And have a 100% chance of 50% of us dyin' horribly? [[translation: And have a 100% chance of 50% of us dying horribly?]] / / Lambert: Yeah! / / Mordekai: Much better odds. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2576.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2577 | SFX: JURRRZ! / / Scientist Adam: Whoa! Look, dinosaurs! / / Scientist Jamie: Wow, we must have gone back in time around 100 million years. / / Scientist Adam: Let's go look around. / / Scientist Jamie: What about the time machine? It's our only way back home. / / Scientist Adam: Ah, leave it there. Who could possibly steal a time machine in the Jurassic era? http://irregularwebcomic.net/2577.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2578 | Head Death: YES? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: LOOK, SIR. I COLLECTED SOMEONE! FROM AN INSANELY OVERPOWERED FIREBALL! / / [[beat]] / / Head Death: AND YOU'VE BEEN DEAD FOR... / / Ghost: Over 400 years. / / Head Death: MMMM. TIMELY WORK. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2578.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2579 | Droid 1: 110 PRINT "HELLO WORLD!" / / C-3PO: Sub Main() / / C-3PO: Console.WriteLine ("Hello World") / / C-3PO: End Sub / / Chewbacca: (defun hello-world () (print (list 'hello 'world))) / / Droid 1: What the hell was that? / / C-3PO: Oh yes, Wookiees don't speak Basic. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2579.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2580 | Mordekai: So we know it's either the left or right tunnel that leads to safety. Let's split the difference and take the middle one. / / Draak: That make sense. / / Mordekai: See! Draak agrees! / / Draak: Make sense like gnaw own arm off. Or like cut down tree for wood till no tree left. / / Draak: Or like mad goat that eat glass. / / Mordekai: Okay, okay! I get the point. / / Draak: With spike bits. And hot sauce. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2580.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #2581 | [[scene: modern day]] / / SFX: JURRRZ! [[time machine appears]] / / Allosaurus: RAAARRHH!! / / Jane Goodall: Well that's ironic. / / Terry: What? That's not ironic by any definition. / / Steve: Crikey! The Allosaurus came back too! This is bonza! / / Jane Goodall: There you go. http://irregularwebcomic.net/2581.html |
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