You're browsing the archives of Irregular Webcomic!.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Irregular Webcomic! #2522 Spanners: Behold! The Golden Citadel! / / [[large shot of stunningly golden citadel]] / / Serron: I dunno. I thought it would be more gold.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2522.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2523 Caption: A bar in Roswell: / / Young Jamie: How will we find our grandmothers? We probably won't recognise them. / / Young Adam: We know their names. / / Young Adam: Bartender! Are Mary and Sue here? / / Bartender: In the booth over there. / / Young Adam: Hey, what are nice girls like you doing in a place like this? / / Mary: That's a truly horrible pick-up line, you know. / / Young Adam: Oh. Myth busted. / / Young Jamie: You mean confirmed.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2523.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2524 Caption: Oh, the weather outside is frightful / and the carolers are spiteful. / But if their threats won't suffice: / Hastur once, Hastur twice, Hastur thrice! / / Caption: They're showing no signs of stopping, / People's heads they are a-lopping / The chanting is not too nice: / Hastur once, Hastur twice, Hastur thrice! / / Caption: When they finally end their song, / How you'll hate seeing what will come next! / You'll see the angles are all wrong, / And your mind will be most vexed! / / Caption: People are slowly dying, / There's no time for the good-bying. / For such frights just take this advice: / Hastur once, Hastur twice, Hastur thrice!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2524.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2525 [[scene: A Berlin street at night]] / / Ginny: It's interesting that a Berlin theatre company would choose to perform a play by a foreigner like Shakespeare. / / Erwin: Foreigner? But this play is being performed in die original German. / / Ginny: Shakespeare in German? Don't be silly, Erwin. / / Ginny: Everyone knows Shakespeare is best in the original Russian.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2525.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2526 Lambert: Will you join us on our righteous quest? / / Ghost: What quest is that? / / Lambert: To cross the Orcrift Mountains into the Swamp of Terror and so to the Golden Citadel to inquire of the Great Dragon Sage Ardaxar... / / Lambert: ... the whereabouts of the missing Ruby of Dwarven Might from the ancient and shattered arcane Crown of Power, so we can... / / Lambert: ... um... get a big reward from the Duke. / / Ghost: Mmm-hmm. Very righteous.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2526.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2527 Jane Goodall: Well, unless you happen to have a time machine, I suppose my work here is done. / / Steve: We could try the Necronomicon! It probably has time travel spells! / / [[shot of Terry aghast]] / / Steve: [[to Terry]] Crikey. What? / / Jane Goodall: Sounds good. Let's try it.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2527.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2528 Sue: [[drinking]] We were waiting for our boyfriends - they're scientists at the Army Base - but they called to say they have some important work to do tonight. / / Mary: You kind of remind us of them, actually. / / Sue: Only more... mature. More sensible. / / Young Jamie: [[to Adam]] Well there's another myth confirmed. Alcohol really does impair judgement.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2528.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2529 Ophelia: Hey Will. What are you working on? / / Shakespeare: It's called a "fan-fic". / / Shakespeare: I'm writing an original story using characters from Diane Duane's Young Wizards series. / / Ophelia: You know, I was hoping you were going to say the documentation for the Integral Systems project.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2529.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2530 [[scene: The front door of the Golden Citadel]] / / SFX: Knock! Knock! / / Spanners: Hi, we're here to see the Great Dragon Sage Ardaxar. / / Butler: Oh yes. He's been expecting you. / / Spanners: He's expecting us? / / Butler: Well he wouldn't be much of a great sage if he wasn't now, would he?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2530.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2531 [[scene: In the sewers under the Russian consulate in Istanbul]] / / Kerim Bey: A present from your navy. Our friends were turned out while the Public Works Ministry conducted a survey. / / Kerim Bey: The story was that the heavy traffic was shaking the foundations. By the time the place was declared safe, I had this installed. / / Stud: Don't the Russians notice a periscope sticking up out of their floor? / / Kerim Bey: We disguised it with seaweed.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2531.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2532 [[scene: In front of the Sydney Opera House]] / / Me: I've found the perfect place to hide from Death. / / Me: In my own home town, living with my only remaining family. / / [[beat]] / / Me: Hey, it worked for Luke Skywalker.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2532.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2533 Ghost: So if we help you on this quest, what's in it for us? / / Dwalin: Ye mean, besides yer release from eternal torment? [[translation: You mean, besides your release from eternal torment?]] / / [[beat]] / / Ghost: Okay, granted that's a decent start.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2533.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2534 Isaac Newton: Let's see. If everything is relative and the speed of light is fixed, that implies that mass equals energy and space is curved... / / Isaac Newton: And nothing may exceed the speed of light unless... Good Lord! I've discovered the secret of time travel! / / Isaac Newton: But if this knowledge were to become public, it could destroy all of history. / / Isaac Newton: I shall obfuscate it in alchemical symbology and write it in the margins of my copy of the Necronomicon!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2534.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2535 Steve: These notes in the margin look like a time travel spell. But it's all written in alchemical symbols! Crikey! / / Jane Goodall: Let me see that. I can read those. / / Terry: You can read ancient alchemical symbology? / / Terry: Yeah, yeah, okay. You're Jane freakin' Goodall. / / Jane Goodall: I told you not to forget that.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2535.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2536 Monty: We have to escape. / / Prof. Jones: Aren't you going to wait for Sallah? / / Monty: What, you don't want him to miss out on all the "fun"? / / Prof. Jones: No, I want us to have a decent chance.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2536.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2537 [[scene: Roswell, morning, exterior]] / / Caption: Roswell. Next morning: / / Young Jamie: Morning Adam. Did you...? / / Young Adam: Yes. Did you? / / Young Jamie: Yeah. / / Young Adam: So it worked. We're our own grandfathers now! Myth confirmed! / / Young Jamie: Not quite. There's still the issue that our original grandfathers are still alive. / / Young Adam: Well of course we are! / / Young Jamie: That's not quite what I meant...
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2537.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2538 [[scene: Inside the Golden Citadel]] / / Ardaxar: You seek the Ruby of Dwarven Might. / / Spanners: Er... yes. / / Ardaxar: It is hidden in the Tangled Forest. / / Iki Piki: Where's that? / / Ardaxar: Beyond the Swamp of Terror, on the far side of the Orcrift Mountains. / / Serron: Back where we started? Oh man, it took us forever to get here!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2538.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2539 Ghost: Okay, fine, we'll join your so-called "righteous" quest. / / Mordekai: Good! A verbal agreement is a legally binding contract! You're bound to our service now! / / Ghost: Hey, what are you trying to pull? / / Mordekai: Well, in order for any of us to survive long enough to complete the quest, there's the small matter of an insane fire wizard we know... / / Ghost: You do realise we're here because we broke our last oath?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2539.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2540 [[scene: Roswell Army Air Field, science lab]] / / Soldier Ishmael: The... uh... expert from England has arrived. Jane Goodall. / / Teenaged Jane Goodall: That's Miss Jane Goodall to you! Out of my way! Now where's this alleged Martian? / / Scientist Jamie: Here. / / Teenaged Jane Goodall: Yep. That's a Martian all right. / / Scientist Adam: Told you she was an expert.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2540.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2541 Jane Goodall: Okay, I've deciphered most of this time travel spell. / / Steve: Oooh! Can I say it?? / / Jane Goodall: Sure. What could possibly go wrong? / / Terry: You're kidding, right? / / Jane Goodall: Yeah. I'm hoping an eldritch horror will manifest and eat him.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2541.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2542 Kerim Bey: Let me see. Head of the table is General Vassili, Director of Military Intelligence. On his left, Koslovski, Chief of Security. And... / / Kerim Bey: Krilencu! Just the man for that limpet mine job. I have had trouble with him before. You should remember him. This man kills for pleasure. / / Stud: Let me see! Let me see! / / Kerim Bey: Oh, and here's the Romanova girl. / / Stud: Definitely let me see!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2542.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2543 [[scene: exterior, Roswell, New Mexico, 1947]] / / Young Adam: So to really verify the myth we still need to kill our own grandfathers? / / Young Jamie: Yes. But that would be immoral. / / Young Adam: In ways that going back in time and sleeping with our own grandmothers isn't? / / Young Jamie: That was consensual. / / Young Adam: Ah. So if we get our grandfathers to agree to be killed... / / Young Jamie: How on Earth will we convince them to do that? / / Young Adam: They're scientists, aren't they?! For science!!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2543.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2544 Monty: This is the same cell we were in last time. If I just move this block... [[removes a block of stone from the bottom of the cell wall]] / / Monty: Oh. / / Prof. Jones: What? / / Monty: They've filled the tunnel with cheese! / / Prof. Jones: That's okay. We can eat our way out! / / Monty: American cheese. / / Prof. Jones: Ewwww! Firing squad at dawn then.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2544.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2545 Steve: How far do we want to go back in time? / / Jane Goodall: 24 hours should do it. / / Steve: [[arcane symbols]] 24 [[more arcane symbols]] / / [[scene change: They are standing in a jungle]] / / Jane Goodall: Oh, now I remember. [[arcane symbol]] doesn't mean hours. It's a period of time equal to roughly 6 million years. [[a dinosaur appears]]
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2545.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2546 [[scene: Near the Orcrift Mountains, dawn]] / / Alvissa: <yawn> / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: GOOD MORNING. / / Alvissa: Are we dead yet? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: NO. HE'S STILL GOING. / / Alvissa: Kyros stayed awake all night? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: HE GOT ME TO MAKE COFFEE.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2546.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #2547 [[scene: Somewhere in the Orcrift Mountains]] / / Serron: Oh man, what are we doing? You'd have to be nuts to cross this mountain range more than once. / / [[they walk across the mountains]] / / [[they walk across the mountains some more]] / / Paris: Q.E.D.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2547.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2548 Young Jamie: To kill our grandfathers we need to get into the Army Air Field labs. How will we do that? / / Young Adam: Let's wing it. [[walks up to Army Air Field gates]] / / Soldier Ishmael: Hey, docs! You two are supposed to be inside with the Martian, not out on the town! This way, quick! [[ushers them inside]] / / Young Jamie: Wing it? / / Young Adam: The answer was plane.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2548.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2549 Mercutio: You know Ophelia, the problem with any storytelling medium these days is that technology moves too fast. / / Mercutio: A couple of centuries ago you could write a story and 50 years later people would still be familiar with everything you mentioned. / / Mercutio: Nowadays, when a story has been around for five years, everything sounds outdated. / / Ophelia: Oh, sorry Mercutio, I didn't hear you. I was listening to my Walkman.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2549.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2550 [[scene: the Jurassic]] / / Steve: Crikey! We're in the Jurassic! There's an Allosaurus! / / Jane Goodall: This is not good. / / Steve: I'll wrestle 'im! Will that help? / / Jane Goodall: Only if you lose.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2550.html
Irregular Webcomic! #2551 Monty: There's no way we'll clear this cheese out in time to escape. / / Prof. Jones: If only we had a fondue set. / / Monty: Wow. This is the only context I can think of where that statement actually makes sense. / / Minnesota Jones: The only non-contrived context.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/2551.html
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 >>