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|Irregular Webcomic! #211||Alvissa, Kyros, Lambert, Mordekai: Yay! We outsmarted Death! / / Kyros: What do we get for it? / / GM: [[disgusted]] "Get for it?" You're alive! What more do you want? / / Alvissa: Gold! / Kyros: Magic items! / Mordekai: Jewels! / Lambert: Experience points! / Draak: Draak like!|
|Irregular Webcomic! #212||French Bureaucrat 1: [[sitting at a table in front of a "Regardez! Francais, oui! Anglais, non!" sign]] Zee latest resarche shows usage of zee word "email" eez eencreasing among zee publique. / / French Bureaucrat 2: Zis eez out-rejjus! We cannot allow zee people francaise to speak any way zay want! / / French Bureaucrat 2: Zee Academie Francaise hereby rules zat zees word shall be replaced by zee new word: courriel! / / French Bureaucrat 3: Okay! I'll send an email to let folks know! / French Bureaucrat 1: You eediot.|
|Irregular Webcomic! #213||Mordekai: Bandits! / / Kyros: Stand back! I'm going to channel 300 points of mana for a fireball! / / Draak: Draak not want die more! [[striking Kyros down in one blow]] / [sound]: CRACK! / / Alvissa: Well done, Draak! / Bandit: [[standing around watching]] Hey, what about us?|
|Irregular Webcomic! #214||Obi-Wan: [whispering] Your memory must be faulty, little droid. That was an R4 unit who went with me to Kamino. / / Artoo: Boop! Beep! Boop! Bleep! Beep! Bloop!
|Irregular Webcomic! #215||Bandit: Take that! [[slashing at Draak with his sword]] / [sound]: SLICE! / / Draak: [native tongue] / [caption]: * Translation: Oh dear. That's cut the tendon of the flexor carpi radialis and the anconeus. Fortunately it's missed the radial artery, but this wound will take weeks to heal and for the nerves to regrow. / / Mordekai: Swearing in his native language! That must have hurt him. / Alvissa: I don't think that's swearing. / / Alvissa: Draak, what did you say? / Draak: Ouch. Draak hurt bad.|
|Irregular Webcomic! #216||Phone: Hello. Bank of Nigeria. How can we help you? / Nigerian Finance Minister: Hi. This is the Minister of Finance. / / Nigerian Finance Minister: We have a federal budget surplus of $30,000,000. I'd like to transfer it to the U.S. Treasury to reduce our foreign debt. / / Phone: Unfortunately we can only do that through a private account of a foreign national. If someone agrees to let us use their account number, we can do it, no problem. / / Nigerian Finance Minister: Okay. That should be easy to arrange. I'll send some emails and offer people 10% if they help us out.|
|Irregular Webcomic! #217||Terry: Paris was nice, Steve. / Steve: Yeah, but it's good to be back home, Terry. / Terry: [[Cthulhu rears up out of nowhere]] Aiiee! Cthulhu followed us! / Steve: Oh, g'day. I'd be careful if I was you, mate. / Steve: We 'ave salt-water crocs! [[saltie approaches Cthulhu, mouth agape]] / Terry: The croc ate Cthulhu! [[croc basking happily in the background]] / Steve: Yeah! Australia has the most dangerous animals in the world!|
|Irregular Webcomic! #218||Amidala: It must be difficult having sworn your life to the Jedi... not being able to visit the places you like... or do the things you like. / / Anakin: Or be with the people I love. / Amidala: Are you allowed to love? / / Amidala: I thought that was forbidden for a Jedi. / Anakin: Oh, there's all sorts of loopholes in the Jedi code. / / Anakin: Obi-Wan says you can lie to the son of a former padawan about the fate of his father, for example. Like that'll ever come up.|
|Irregular Webcomic! #219||Male Telepath: [thinking] [[with his massive head]] Welcome to our planet! / Spanners: Hey, he's talking telepathically! / / Female Telepath: [thinking] [[while looking fabulous]] Yes. All members of my species are psionic. / / Iki Piki: Hmmm. Maybe you can answer something for me. / Male Telepath: [thinking] Sure. / / Iki Piki: How come you psionics are all either beautiful or have enormous craniums? We never seem to see any ugly pin-headed psikers.|
|Irregular Webcomic! #220||Prof. Jones: [[hoisting a sword]] I can't believe they actually left this lying around where we could reach it. Those Nazis are pretty stupid, Junior. / / Monty: I don't know, dad. They got clean away with the Egyptian Book of the Dead and the Mayan Codex. / / Monty: They'll be halfway to Berlin by now. / Prof. Jones: My point exactly... / Prof. Jones: Leaving Rio de Janeiro the week before Carnival!|
|Irregular Webcomic! #221||Iki Piki: So what sort of psionic powers do your people possess? / / Female Telepath: [thinking] Oh, the usual. Telepathy, telekinesis, clairvoyance, teleportation, astral projection, and precognition. / / Iki Piki: Precognition! That must be useful! / Female Telepath: [thinking] Less useful than you might think. / / Female Telepath: [thinking] Our Lotto draws always seem to have thirty million winners, who win 45 cents each.|
|Irregular Webcomic! #222||[caption]: South America 1937 [[Prof. Jones and Monty pass through jungle foliage...]] / / [[... by a large palm tree...]] / / [[... through tall grass...]] / / [[... past thick bushes...]] / / [[... along a river...]] / / [[... through a field...]] / / Prof. Jones: We're lost, Junior. / Monty: How so, dad? / Prof. Jones: [[pointing to a large palm tree]] I swear we passed this tree four panels ago.|
|Irregular Webcomic! #223||Serron: So, can I learn to be psionic? / Male Telepath: [thinking] No. You have to be born with the talent. / Serron: Hmmm. / / Serron: Do you have cloning labs on this planet? / Male Telepath: [thinking] Yes. / Serron: Gene-splice technicians? / Male Telepath: [thinking] Of course. / / Serron: And standard neural personality transfer technology? / / GM: [[suspiciously]] Yyyeeeesssssss....|
|Irregular Webcomic! #224||Anakin: [[talking into a videophone]] Hi mum! I'm on Naboo! / Shmi: [[on phone]] Ani! It's good to hear from you! How are you? / / Anakin: Great! Guess what? I saved a whole planet, and I'm friends with the queen, and I'm gonna be a Jedi! / / Shmi: [[sitting at her videophone]] Oh, I knew you could do it Ani! A queen?! So hw soon will you be here to buy me out of slavery? / / Anakin: [[on phone]] Uh... sorry mum, gotta go. Obi-Wan's teaching me some cool new mind tricks today. Later!|
|Irregular Webcomic! #225||Haken: Mein Fuhrer! We have retrieved die Mayan Codex und die Egyptian Book of der Dead! / / Hitler's Brain: Wunderbar! Die Book of der Dead too! With this I can resurrect mein body and escape this jar! Open it! / / Haken: Your jar? / Hitler's Brain: nein! Die Book, you dumbkopf! / / Haken: It's in Ancient Egyptian! / Erwin: That would have been a pharaoh-ssumption. / Hitler's Brain: Ankh di lieber!|
|Irregular Webcomic! #226||Me: [thinking] [[reading a webcomic]] "This comic is self-referential." / / Me: [thinking] "Panel 1 tells you it's self-referential, and panel 2 tells you that panel 2 tells you about panels 1 and 2." / / Me: [thinking] "Panel 3 tells you about panel 3. It also tells you about panel 4, in which the reader doesn't get the joke." / / Me: [[pointing at the screen, confused]] Huh? I don't get it.|
|Irregular Webcomic! #227||Haken: Actually, I can read Ancient Egyptian. / Hitler's Brain: Vell then! Read it! / / Haken: [hieroglyphs] / Erwin: Uh, Herr Kolonel... / / Erwin: [[a huge spinning vortex opens up behind them]] Die words are opening a vortex! / Haken: [[as he's drawn towards the opening]] Mein Gott! It's pulling me in! / / Erwin: [[as Haken disappears]] Herr Kolonel! Mein Fuhrer! He's gone into die vortex! / Hitler's Brain: Vell... That sucks.|
|Irregular Webcomic! #228||Wendy: [[presenting a captive rascal at sword-point]] Cap'n! This scurvy knave be needing punishment! / / Long Tom: Arrr! What be his crime? Stealing rations o' rum? Purloining pieces o' eight? Consorting with the Spanish? / / Dirque: He be messin' wi' the physical parameters o' the universe! / / Long Tom: Make him walk the Planck! Arrr!!!|
|Irregular Webcomic! #229||Vader: I sense something... / / Vader: A disturbance in the Force... [[a spinning vortex slowly expands behind him]] / / Vader: [[turns to look at it]] Yes, that's pretty disturbing... / / Vader: [[aghast as a person appears before him]] Where have you materialised from?! Did Obi-Wan send you? / Haken: [[stepping forth from the vortex]] Silenze! I'm a Nazi officer! I ask die questions!|
|Irregular Webcomic! #230||Female Telepath: [thinking] Yes. / Spanners: Are you really precognitive? / Female Telepath: [thinking] Oh yes, indeed. / / Spanners: Can you predict what I'm about to say? / Female Telepath: [thinking] Of course I can. / / Spanners: Can you answer questions before I ask them? / Female Telepath: [thinking] I just did. / / Spanners: No you didn't! Go on, prove you can do it! / Spanners: Uh...|
|Irregular Webcomic! #231||Haken: [[as they take a walk through the Death Star]] Zo, Herr Vader, this is some sort of alternate dimension to my own, ja? / Vader: It seems so, yes. / / Haken: Tell me about it. / Vader: I'm the right hand man of an all-powerful Emperor, who rules by the use of mysterious occult powers... / / Haken: Amazing! Just like me! Mein Fuhrer will soon rule die entire world! / / Vader: Just one planet? / Haken: [[pausing to consider]] Herr Vader, you are giving me some very interesting ideas...|
|Irregular Webcomic! #232||Paris: So what was your main motivation for evolving psionic powers? / / Male Telepath: [thinking] Well, we got tired of hunting for the remote control. / / Paris: You mean...? / / Male Telepath: [thinking] Yes. We became telly-kinetic.|
|Irregular Webcomic! #233||Admiral Ozzel: Lord Vader, the fleet has moved out of hyperspace and we're preparing to... / / Vader: You have failed me for the last time, Admiral. [[holds out his hand, clenching it]] / / Admiral Ozzel: Aaack!
|Irregular Webcomic! #234||Hermione: Boo-hoo-hoo! / Harry: Hermione! Stop crying! What's wrong? / / Hermione: It's the new headmaster...
|Irregular Webcomic! #235||Erwin: [hieroglyphs] [[vortex reappears and spits out a confused Haken in a black shirt]] / / Erwin: Kolonel Haken! You're back! / Good Haken: Erwin? What did you do? / / Erwin: I read the hieroglyphics backwards. When you disappeared, we thought it was an ill Amun. / / Good Haken: Erwin, you're a real Ra of sunshine.|
|Irregular Webcomic! #236||Long Tom: Arrr! Shore leave in Tortuga! Time for winin' and wenchin'! No offense, Wendy. / / Prof. Jones: Avast ye swab! / Soccer Player: Belay, ye scurvy lubbers! / Nigerian Finance Minister, Steve: Arrr! / Harry: Ahoy, me mateys! / / Long Tom: What be this? / Harry: It be International Talk Like A Pirate Day! / / Long Tom: Be we soundin' this ridiculous? Arrr! / Dirque: Shiver me timbers!|
|Irregular Webcomic! #237||Erwin: Uh... Herr Kolonel, wasn't your hook on die other side before you went through der vortex? / / Good Haken: [[looks at the hook on his right hand]] It's okay. I prefer it this way. I'm actually left handed. / / Good Haken: Now it you'll excuse me, I have some important work to do. / / Erwin: Mein Fuhrer, he's come from an alternate dimension. You don't think... / Hitler's Brain: That's the evil Kolonel Haken?|
|Irregular Webcomic! #238||Hermione: What are you doing, Harry? / Harry: [[stirring a cauldron]] Ensuring my future, Hermione. / / Hermione: By brewing a potion? / Harry: Not just any potion, Hermione. Eternal life! / / Hermione: A Lich potion?! But that's... Dark Magic! Harry, you can't! / / Harry: Hermione, word on the street is I have two years before J. K. Rowling kills me off. I need to have this ready by then!|
|Irregular Webcomic! #239||Vader: [[leading the left-hooked evil Haken along a line of Stormtroppers]] And these are some of our Imperial Stormtroopers. / / Haken: But... this is fantastisch! We have Stormtroopers also in die Third Reich! / / Vader: Are your Stormtroopers all highly competent, combat hardened, ruthlessly effective killing machines and expert marksmen? / / Haken: But of course, Herr Vader! / Vader: You wouldn't mind sending us some, would you?|
|Irregular Webcomic! #240||[caption]: If Shakespeare had been born 400 years later... / / Screen: Microsoft PowerPoint Hamlet.pps [[Screens showing such meaningful content as "*Be *Not Be" and a confused guy clip art and a simple "Play within play" diagram]]|
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