You're browsing the archives of Irregular Webcomic!.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Irregular Webcomic! #1861 | Passenger: [[panicking]] Snakes! There are snakes on the wing! Tearing apart the engines! / / Steward: Get a grip, man! I don't see anything out there. / / Passenger: Enough is enough! I have had it with these gosh-darned snakes on this gosh-darned plane! / / Steward: Language, sir! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1861.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1862 | [[scene: pitch blackness]] / / [sound]: splash splash splash bump / / Jamie: Adam, there's a boat here. Quick, let's climb in. / / [sound]: scrabble scramble scrape / / Adam: Where are we, Jamie? It's as black as Hades here. / / Mysterious Third Voice From The Darkness: Funny you should say that... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1862.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1863 | Martian 1: How's the asteroid plan going? / / Martian 2: The most powerful Earthling government has begun dealing with it. / / [[scene change: Ishmael's college room]] / / [sound]: Knock! Knock! / / Charity Collector Guy: Hi, I'm collecting to raise funds to deflect an imminent asteroid strike. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1863.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1864 | [[scene: A hospital pre-operation waiting room on Bune]] / / TV sports commentator 1: And the Rubilith Reds win the Galactic Cup! They've defeated the Acropolis Titans 6-0! / / TV sports commentator 2: Yes Dan, it was inevitable, really. I pity the poor deluded fools who backed the Titans - if there was anyone that stupid. / / Iki Piki: We lost the bet! Your future self told us the wrong team!! / / Serron: That's it. When we go back in time, I'm going to get even by telling them the wrong team! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1864.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1865 | [[scene: A street in Paris]] / / Monty: Dr Smith has the book, which might contain more clues, but where? / / Minnesota Jones: Notre Dame de Paris! / / Monty: Grandad, Paris covers hundreds of square miles. The Palladium and the Nazis could be anywhere. / / Monty: Heck, we might need to track down the next link in the chain. The Palladium may not even still be here at all. / / Monty: What makes you think we should try Notre Dame? / / Minnesota Jones: Just backing a hunch. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1865.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1866 | Lambert: Sister village? But it was identical to this one. / / Villager: Oh, aye. / / Mordekai: Right down to the recently incinerated tavern! / / Villager: Aye. When they heard our tavern had been burnt down, they burnt theirs down to match. / / Alvissa: That's crazy! / / Kyros: People after my own heart! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1866.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1867 | Wendy: Cap'n Short 'n' Dirty Dirque still be captives o' the cannibals. / / Ponsonby: Don't tell us you want to rescue those good-for-nothing cut-throat brigands? / / Wendy: Nay! Now I get to be cap'n o' the Allosaurus! / / Mate: Oh. We were hoping you'd do the hard work of collecting them so we could claim the credit and the bounty. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1867.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1868 | Me: Phew. So I managed to kill Gwen Stacy. Now I can return to life and still fulfil my promise to kill a major character. I refuse to betray my readers, after all. / / Head Death: YOU ACTUALLY SAID A POPULAR, MAJOR, IRREGULAR WEBCOMIC! CHARACTER WOULD DIE. / / Head Death: GWEN STACY WAS NEVER AN IRREGULAR WEBCOMIC! CHARACTER. / / Me: Eh. No problem. I'll retcon her into some earlier crowd scenes or something. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1868.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1869 | Adam: There is some light down here. My eyes are adapting. I can see things now... / / Jamie: Me too. / / [[Shapes appear out of the gloom. A skeletal figure with a bargepole is standing near them in the boat.]] / / Adam: Gah! Who are you? / / Charon: Charon, the Ferryman. / / Jamie: Charon! Adam, do you know what this means? / / Adam: "Black as Hades." Busted! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1869.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1870 | Steward: [[indicating the man who saw the snakes on the wing, who is now restrained]] This guy's gone crazy. Keeps insisting there are giant snakes on the wing, ripping the engines apart. / / Steve: How do you know he's crazy? / / Steward: Snakes are cold-blooded. They couldn't survive out there. The air is too cold and thin at this altitude. / / Steve: Crikey! They could if they were Peruvian Mountain Anacondas! / / Steward: What? / / Steve: I'm just saying... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1870.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1871 | Iki Piki: [[walking out of the hospital]] We still owe Paris, Serron, and Quercus for the first operation. Now another 90,000 credit hospital bill, plus we owe the loan shark 20,000! / / Serron: Yes, but we have a spare set of internal organs now! / / Iki Piki: Fat lot of good that'll do us when the loan shark breaks our legs or puts us in cement shoes. We need to raise cash, quickly. / / Serron: Well we have spare organs now, right? We could sell a set on the black market! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1871.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1872 | [[scene: A chess tournament. Two players sit engaged in battle across a table, watched by seated spectators following the game on a giant board on the wall behind them.]] / / [caption]: International Masters Championship. Kronsteen v. McAdams. / / Kronsteen: [[drinking a glass of water]] Hmm... a message on my coaster. "You are required immediately - Number 1" / / Kronsteen: Check. / / McAdams: <sigh> I resign. Congratulations sir, that was a brilliant coup. / / [[scene change: An office on a luxury yacht]] / / [caption]: Some time later... / / Number 1: What kept you, Number Five? / / Kronsteen: Pulling out early would have looked suspicious. I had to finish my game... which advanced me to the semi-finals. Spassky had an eye infection, delaying Week Three... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1872.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1873 | Dwalin: Far be it fra' me tae say "I toold ye so"... Wait, nae 'tisn't. [[translation: Far be it from me to say "I told you say"... Wait, no it isn't.]] / / Mordekai: We have to cross the mountains a second time? / / Draak: We cross two times so far; this make third time. / / Lambert: And Kyros has sealed the secret dwarven passage with tons of slag. / / Alvissa: Wait. How do the villagers in Cragfoot know what's happened here in Footcrag? / / Villager: Oh, we use the teleport gate connectin' the villages. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1873.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1874 | Nazi: Mein Führer! Herr Kolonel Haken und Erwin zend word from Paris! / / Hitler's Brain: Paris? Ach, how tedious. Things would be much easier if Paris was German territory. / / Nazi: As Herr Julius Caesar used to say: Veni, vidi, vici. / / Hitler's Brain: Veni, vidi, Vichy? Hmmm... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1874.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1875 | Head Death: YOU'RE GOING TO RETCON GWEN STACY INTO EARLIER COMICS, JUST SO YOU CAN RETURN TO LIFE? / / Me: Yep! / / Head Death: AND YOU CONSIDER THAT NOT BETRAYING YOUR FANS IN ANY WAY? / / Me: Psssh... who cares about them? I mean, really? / / Head Death: EXCUSE ME A MINUTE. I NEED TO MAKE A CALL. / / Head Death: HELLO? THAT SPOT WE HAD RESERVED FOR GEORGE LUCAS? FIND SOMEWHERE LESS PAINFUL TO PUT HIM. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1875.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1876 | Steward: How about we break a window so the snakes all get sucked out in the decompression? / / Steve: I'm shocked that an airline employee would suggest such a thing! / / Steward: Because it poses a significant risk to the passengers? Because explosive decompression is just a myth? / / Steve: Crikey, no! / / Steve: It might hurt the snakes! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1876.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1877 | Charon: Have you each a coin for the Ferryman? / Jamie: You're picking us up midstream. Surely it should be half a coin each. / Charon: http://irregularwebcomic.net/1877.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1878 | Iki Piki: We can't sell our spare organs. They'll be the only thing keeping us alive when we come back in time. / / Serron: Only one thing for it. We skip the system without paying. / / Iki Piki: We'll be branded as criminals across an entire section of the Galaxy! / / Serron: You mean "sector". / / Iki Piki: No, a sector is a piece of a circle enclosed by an arc and two radii. They don't tessellate. That's a stupid way to organise a galaxy into administrational units. / / Serron: Oh, and I suppose you've been branded a criminal across one before? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1878.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1879 | [[scene: The swamps of Dagobah]] / / Obi-Wan's ghost: When I first knew him, your father was already a great pilot. But I was amazed how strongly the Force was with him. / / Obi-Wan's ghost: I took it upon myself to train him as a Jedi. I thought that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda. I was wrong. / / Qui-Gon's ghost: [[appearing suddenly]] Hey, Obi-Wan. / / Obi-Wan's ghost: Qui-Gon! / / Qui-Gon's ghost: Remember, Yoda trained Dooku, who became a Sith Lord too. You did do just as well Yoda. / / Qui-Gon's ghost: In fact, your Sith Lord killed his Sith Lord - so you actually trained him better than Yoda! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1879.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1880 | Villager: Footcrag and Cragfoot are like two parts o' the same village, really. People travel back and forth using the teleport gate regularly. / / Villager: Cragfoot's smithy - who has no tongue by the way - lives here in Footcrag, and goes to and fro each day. / / Villager: And there's a monk who's taken a vow o' silence who does the opposite to tend to our spiritual needs here in Footcrag. / / Kyros: Ah. So they're co-muting. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1880.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1881 | Wendy: Now, the treasure. I be havin' the map, and ye be havin' the muscles fer diggin'. / / Wendy: That way. Get walkin'! / / Ponsonby: What makes you think an officer of His Majesty's Royal Navy is going to sully his hands with manual labour? / / Wendy: I also still be havin' the pistol! / / Ponsonby: An uncouth point, but a point nonetheless... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1881.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1882 | [[scene: The streets of Paris]] / / Ginny: Nearly there. We just need to cross this street. / / Haken: Why are we waiting for die traffic light? / / Erwin: We are Nazis, Herr Kolonel. Where would we be without laws? / / Haken: At our destination! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1882.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1883 | [[scene: the cockpit]] / / Terry: Phew, We've managed to cross Europe without any further incident. / / Stewardess: Yes, but we still need someone to land the plane safely. Someone who can remain icily calm in a crisis. That's the primary attribute required. / / Steve: [[entering the cockpit]] Crikey! It's boring back there! The snakes have hardly bitten anyone, the crazy guy is tied up next to a sleepy police officer with a gnu, and there are no crocs at all! / / Steve: Anything I can do up here? / / [[Terry and the Stewardess look at each other meaningfully.]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/1883.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1884 | Me: Wait. If I retcon Gwen Stacy into my earlier comics, people will think of me as worse than George Lucas? / / Head Death: YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PEOPLE LOVE JAR JAR? YOU'LL WISH THEY REGARDED YOU THAT WELL. / / Me: Hmmm. That could seriously affect my site hit count. / / Head Death: YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO CONSIDER THE FORUM POSTS. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1884.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1885 | Jamie: So you're Charon. Can you take us to the other rivers of the Underworld? / / Charon: I can take you to any place where water flows. / / Adam: Like San Francisco Bay? / / Charon: Why? Did you leave your heart behind? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1885.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1886 | Number 1: According to your instructions, Number 5, I've planned for SPECTRE to steal from the Russians their new Lektor decoding machine. / / Number 1: We need the services of a female member of the Russian Cryptograph Section in Turkey and... the help of the British Secret Service. / / Kronsteen: Well, calling it "help" would be an extremely generous characterisation. / / Number 1: How so, Number 5? / / Kronsteen: Because the man the British will almost certainly use on a mission of this sort would be their agent... James Stud. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1886.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1887 | Serron: Quick, let's get back to the ship and get Paris to take off. Once we're off this planet, we'll be safe. / / Serron: We just have to vow never to return. Ever. No matter what. / / Iki Piki: Um... / / Serron: Here's the landing pad. We're home free! / / Serron 2: [[standing next to Iki Piki 2, Spanners, and Quercus outside the ship]] There they are! The imposters we told you about! Shoot them!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1887.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1888 | Lambert: Oooh... I don't feel well... / / Kyros: A sorceror must have put a curse on you. / / Mordekai: Don't be ridiculous. It's caused by evil spirits. / / Alvissa: No, it's an imbalance of the bodily humours. / / Draak: Draak folk say sick made by bugs too small to see with eye. / / Lambert: Heh, very funny, Draak. This is why your race is known for its amusing primitive beliefs... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1888.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1889 | [[scene: The magnificent facade of Notre Dame de Paris]] / / Minnesota Jones: Notre Dame Cathedral. If those Nazis aren't here yet, they soon will be. / / Monty: You're sure about this, grandad? / / Minnesota Jones: Where else in Paris would you find the most ancient and holy relics of antiquity? / / [[scene change]] / / Haken: On public display in die Louvre? / / Ginny: That's what the book says. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1889.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1890 | Me: So... in order to maintain my popularity, I have to stay dead? / / Head Death: LOOK AT HOW IT WORKS FOR OTHER ARTISTS. VAN GOGH. EMILY DICKINSON. ELVIS. / / Head Death: SHAKESPEARE. CHARLES M. SCHULZ. PAUL MCCARTNEY. / / Me: What? Paul McCartney is still alive! / / Head Death: ARE YOU SURE? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1890.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 >>