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Irregular Webcomic! #1711 Me: Every year, people ask me if I'm doing anything special for 19 September: Talk Like a Pirate Day. Starting from around the beginning of September. / / Me: Of course, by that time I already have a buffer full of completed comics stretching right into October. So it's too late. / / Me: But all is not lost. Several weeks ahead of time, I present a strip specially made in celebration of another very special date. Please enjoy it. / / [[scene change: The planet Kashyyyk.]] / / Luke: [[to Chewbacca and Han]] Gosh, this has sure been a swell Christma... er, Life Day.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1711.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1712 Terry: Steve, a herpetologist is someone who studies reptiles. / / Steve: Oh! Crikey! Well, I don't know why they'd want anyone like that! It seems a bit silly to me! / / Terry: What are you up to, Steve? / / Steve: Nothin', Terry! Honest! / / Stewardess: Excuse me sir, you ordered a special meal? Two live mice?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1712.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1713 Iki Piki: Those are our original organs?! / / Serron: Not quite. Ours were gone already. / / Serron: But they just finished extracting these from our future selves! They were busy sewing them up, so I grabbed them. / / [[beat]] / / Serron: Say something... / / Iki Piki: Is there a replacement brain for you in there?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1713.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1714 Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: COR, FIREBALLS! WHAT'CHOO DOIN' 'ERE? / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: THE QUESTION IS: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: PICKIN' UP CHORE SCRAPS SINCE CHOO DONE GOT CHORESELF DEMOTED. / / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: I HAVEN'T BEEN DEMOTED! / / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: YES CHOO 'AVE! [[Fireballs jumps on Hatmaking Chemicals and they wrestle each other on the ground]] / / Jamie: You can't argue with Death? / / Adam: Busted, apparently.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1714.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1715 [[scene: darkness]] / / Alvissa: You're that Gollum creature who stole Lambert's ring! / / Gollum: Maaaybe... who wantsss to know? / / Alvissa: Alvissa, of the House of Endeäthil! / / Gollum: That wasss a riddle, not a literal requessst for informationssss! / / [sound]: SHIIING! / / Gollum: Gollum! What wassss that?! / / Alvissa: Ah, this one I know. The sound of a riddle-hating elf drawing her sword!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1715.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1716 Monty: Colonel Haken! / / Haken: Herr Doktor Jones. / / Erwin: [[waving across all the other people]] Hello, Ginny. / / Monty: But... but... but... how did you get into the Library?! / / Ginny: [[to Erwin]] Erwin. / / Monty: We had to sneak past armed Swiss Guards, the Pope's vicious rottweilers, the diabolical da Vinci lock, the rake, and the giant stone ball! How did you...? / / Haken: You tell an interesting story, Dr Jones, but we do not have time to go into that now. / / Erwin: [[to Ginny]] I brought sandwiches.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1716.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1717 Steve: [[to a woman in the cabin crew]] Hi, I'm a reptile expert! What do you need? / / Stewardess: Please come with me, sir. / / Stewardess: [[whispering to Steve]] The co-pilot will explain in the cockpit. We don't want to alarm the other passengers. / / Steve: [[following the stewardess up the aisle, surrounded by other passengers in their seats]] Crikey! So there's some sort of dangerous wild animal loose on the plane?!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1717.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1718 Me: The lampshade effect is a technique used in many forms of fiction to deflect attention from implausible or just plain bad writing. / / Me: If something unusual happens in a story, the audience tends to fixate on it, ruining their suspension of disbelief and enjoyment of the work. / / Me: The solution is to "hang a lampshade" on it - have a character point out how strange or unlikely it is. Once acknowledged in-character, the audience accepts it. / / Me: I'd now like to mention how spectacularly unfunny today's comic is.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1718.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1719 Iki Piki: You can't take the organs from our future selves! You're condemning them to die a horrible death! / / Serron: So? That's their lookout. We need them more than they do. / / Iki Piki: They're us! / / Serron: We're us! / / [[beat]] / / Iki Piki: Now I know something is terribly wrong. You actually have a point there.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1719.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1720 [[scene: darkness]] / / Gollum: "The sssound of a riddlesss-hating elf drawing her sssword"? / / Gollum: Again, too literal it isss... / / [sound]: SWOOOSH! / / Gollum: ... but accssseptable...
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1720.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1721 [[scene: The Infinite Featureless Plane of Death. Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs and Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals are wrestling on the ground, surrounded by a dozen or more other Deaths, as well as Jamie and Adam.]] / / Deaths: [[egging the fight on]] FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! / / Deaths: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! / / [[The Deaths fall silent and part, forming a path between them leading to the still fighting pair on the ground.]] / / [[Head Death appears, walking through the corridor thus formed.]]
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1721.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1722 Haken: Once again, Dr Jones, we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away. Hand over die book. / / Monty: But... what do Nazis want with the Palladium of Troy? / / Monty: And how did you even know what we were after?! / / Prof. Jones: Er, Junior... / / Minnesota Jones: Shhh, boy! / / Haken: And again, we see there is nothing you can try to find which I cannot find out that you are trying to find. / / Monty: Drat.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1722.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1723 Mercutio: So it's all over. The Martian invasion is repulsed. / / Ophelia: In reality, yes. But what about the millions of people on the net who still believe it's true? / / Mercutio: I wouldn't worry about that. [[turns back to his computer]] / / [LiveJournal entry on screen]: Oh please... That Martian invasion meme is so last week. Let's get back to Photoshopping humorously captioned photos of cats into Star Wars scenes. I mean, what's really important here?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1723.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1724 [[scene: At the front of the plane, just outside the cockpit door.]] / / Stewardess: There's a snake loose in the cockpit. The pilot's been bitten. / / Steve: Crikey! That's almost fatal! / / Stewardess: How do you know that? We don't even know what type of snake it is yet. / / Steve: Er... oh, right, yeah. Neither do I. / / Terry: Steeeve...
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1724.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1725 [[scene: The Secret Dwarven Passage below the Orcrift Mountains. The gloom is lit by Kyros' orb.]] / / Mordekai: How are we going to find Alvissa? / / Draak: Draak smell elf. / / Mordekai: Oh, what do they smell like? / / Draak: Like scent of warm sun on still pool in woods near lots blooms of spring. / / Draak: Like soft fall of leaf on bed of pine where moss grow in cool shade of tree. / / Draak: Like buzz of bee full of... / / Mordekai: Okay, okay! We get the picture. / / Draak: You should try bath too.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1725.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1726 Iki Piki: [[walking down the street]] Well, we have no choice. Let's get to a hospital. / / Iki Piki: If we die, our future selves won't even have a chance of existing. / / Iki Piki: We don't want to generate some kind of causality paradox. / / Serron: You know, if it wasn't for the dying part, that could be really cool.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1726.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1727 Ginny: What sort of sandwiches? / / Erwin: Some liverwurst, some emmental. / / Erwin: And then for dinner tonight there is a nice pasta restaurant on Via degli Uffici del Vicario. / / Ginny: Oh yes, I know the one. Right near the gelateria. / / Erwin: Ja. / / Monty: Do you mind?? / / Haken: We are supposed to be enemies!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1727.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1728 [[Head Death stares silently at Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs and Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals.]] / / [[Head Death keeps his steely gaze on them.]] / / [[More staring.]] / / Head Death: YOU MADE ME LEAVE MY DESK. / / Death of Choking On A Giant Frog: [[in the background, whispering to Death of Being Wrestled To Death By Steve]] OH MAN, THEY'RE BONED.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1728.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1729 [[scene: a plane cockpit]] / / Stewardess: Oh no! The co-pilot's been bitten too! [[pilot and co-pilot lie unconscious, slumped in their seats]] / / Steve: I see it! It's a red-bellied red snake! / / Terry: <gasp!> / / Stewardess: But it's not over there! There it is, heading back out to the passenger cabin! Unless... there's more than one?! / / Steve: Crikey! Er... no, I identified it from the bite pattern!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1729.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1730 Mordekai: So can you track down Alvissa by smell, Draak? / / Draak: You get Draak wrong. Draak smell elf now. / / Alvissa: [[appearing from the darkness]] Hi guys. / / Kyros: Alvissa! / / Kyros: Kyros! You're alive! / / Kyros: Your uncanny elvish powers of observation leave me speechless.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1730.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1731 Me: With time rapidly running out for the major character I will be killing off permanently by the end of the year... / / Me: ... it's time to release another titbit of information about the event. / / [[dramatic pause]] / / Me: I know who it is!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1731.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1732 [[scene: a hospital check-in desk on Bune]] / / Iki Piki: Hi, we need these organs implanted back into us, quickly. / / Nurse: Sign here. / / Iki Piki: Aren't you even going to ask how this happened? / / Nurse: I presume you watched that old 21st century rerun that was on TV last night. / / [[scene change: The Mythbusters studio]] / / Adam: Today's myth: In an emergency, anyone can perform surgery by following written instructions!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1732.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1733 [caption]: Long Tom's crew take three days to sail to Antigua: / / [[ship sailing]] / / [[ship still sailing]] / / Dirque: [[in the crow's nest]] Land ho! / / [caption]: (Imagine if this comic was Freefall...)
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1733.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1734 Head Death: TWO DEATHS FIGHTING. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D LIVE TO SEE THE DAY. / / Unknown Voice from the crowd of Deaths: YOU DIDN'T! / / Head Death: [[turning on the crowd]] WHO SAID THAT?! / / [[deathly silence]]
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1734.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1735 Monty: You're living dangerously, invading the Vatican, Haken. / / Haken: Die Catholic Church will cower before die might of Nazi science! / / Monty: I wouldn't bet on it. Just the other day they announced a brand new algorithm to determine the greatest common divisor of two numbers. / / Haken: Bah! In this algorithm, how many divisions does the Pope have?
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1735.html
 
Irregular Webcomic! #1736 Mercutio: [[at his desk]] Yes!!! Yes!!! I did it! I am teh awesome!! / / Ophelia: [[walking over to see what the fuss is about]] What happened? / / Mercutio: I tracked down a bug in my code. / / Ophelia: Oh. Is that all? You programmers always seem to get so excited about that. / / Mercutio: Don't knock it. It takes a particular sort of mind to revel in the moment of realisation of how amazingly stupid you've been for the past two days.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1736.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1737 Alvissa: It's so good to see... um... It's nice to... er... I came across that Gollum creature. / / Alvissa: I killed it and took Lambert's ring back. / / Alvissa: Hey, where is Lambert? / / Kyros: Once again, those stunning elvish powers of observation.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1737.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1738 Stewardess: We need someone to land the plane! / / Steve: I'll do it! 'ow 'ard can it be?! / / Terry: But you don't know how to fly a plane, Steve! / / Steve: I've flown a vehicle before! / / Terry: A motorcycle! Over a shark! / / Steve: Right! All we need to do is make our approach over water!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1738.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1739 [caption]: Three days later... [[the Legacy is in space, approaching Bune for landing]] / / Paris: Back at Bune. That was our most successful trip yet! / / Spanners: Yes. The outward trip plus our return cargo have net us a profit of just over 80,000 credits. / / [caption]: Meanwhile, across town: / / Nurse: Discharging yourselve? Here's the bill for your organ re-implantation. / / Iki Piki: 90,000 credits?!! / / Serron: Oh, and I had everything out of the mini-bar in my room.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1739.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1740 Haken: Let us look at this book. Give it here. Schnell! [[Prof. Jones hands over the book]] / / Haken: Ach! It is in Latin! / / Ginny: [[walking over from the Joneses' side to Haken's side of the confrontation]] I can translate it for you. / / Haken: Why should we trust you? You keep switching sides! / / Ginny: It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. / / Erwin: <sigh> Ja.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1740.html
 

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