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Irregular Webcomic! #1501 Iki Piki: I pack some extra mining explosive for our trip to the seedy side of town. Just in case. / Serron: We need to be a bit careful. We don't want to make things difficult for ourselves in the future. How likely are we to return to this planet? / Iki Piki: Never, after this. / Serron: Good point. Let's go! [[walks out of the ship]]
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Irregular Webcomic! #1502 Dr No: Take him to the cell! / Henchman: Yes boss! Er, what cell? / Dr No: The escape-proof cell! / Henchman: The electrified one? / Dr No: Yes the electrified one! And don't give it away! [[The henchmen escort Stud away.]] / Dr No: [[shaking head as he mutters to himself]] Henchmen. Evil, obedient, bright - pick any two.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1503 [[scene: The Legacy engine room]] / Spanners: Well Quercus, with the others out of the ship, we can do that engine overhaul I've been meaning to do. / Spanners: We need to replace the tripolar neutronic phase coils, the flux wavelet holodamper conduits, the heisenfram intermix regulator,... / Spanners: ... the harmonic singularity theta matrix, and the superconducting baryon plasma relay capaciplexitator. / Quercus: What with? / Spanners: Parts with more realistic names, for one.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1504 Monty: So now what? / Ginny: I suggest we take advantage of our strengths. / Monty: What strengths? / Ginny: The guards are now convinced you're insane. So we can get away with attempting something crazy. / Monty: What, like trying to sneak in to a stronghold guarded by two military forces? / Prof. Jones: And rottweilers. / Ginny: See, there you go.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1505 GM: [[reading from Fellowship of the Ring]] "The Balrog made no answer. The fire in it seemed to die, but the darkness grew. / GM: "It stepped forward slowly on the bridge, and suddenly it drew itself up to a great height, and its wings were spread from wall to wall;" / Kyros: Go back two paragraphs. / GM: "His enemy halted again, facing him, and the shadow about it reached out like two vast wings." / Kyros: "Like". "Like"! It's a metaphor! / GM: But the second bit says... / Kyros: It's an extension of the same image! Tolkien was a professor of English! To suggest he used metaphor then switched to being literal with the same word is ludicrous! / Lambert: It's stopped. What did you do? / Kyros: Cast a confusion spell. Run!!!
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Irregular Webcomic! #1506 Yeti: [[leading Terry across mountainous terrain]] We have this sort of secret village thing. We try to avoid human contact, wot. / Terry: My GPS unit went haywire as I approached this area. / Yeti: There's an electronic shield that interferes with navigation systems. Jolly complicated business. Keeps us safely obscure. / Terry: Amazing. / Yeti: Rather. But it messes with our TV reception during cricket matches something severe.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1507 Dirque: [[in the crows nest]] Sail off the port bow! / Long Tom: [[from the helm]] What flag be she flyin'?! / Dirque: Spanish! It be the merchantman Anatotitan! / Long Tom: Arrr! Close for a broadside! She be easy meat for the Allosaurus!
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Irregular Webcomic! #1508 Paris: So, if you had a DNA sample of me, could you force grow a clone body suitable for uploading my personality record file into? / fforbes-Davīs: Sure. Take a couple of months, but it'd be like you never died. You have a DNA sample? / Paris: Actually... no. / fforbes-Davīs: Oh. Well, we could load your personality into a bioroid body. Have you got a personality file on memory cube? / Paris: Um... no... / fforbes-Davīs: Hmmm... tricky... / Paris: Can you build me a pair of mind-controlled hands that I can strangle with?
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Irregular Webcomic! #1509 Martian 1: Right. We have an active agent in the most powerful government on Earth. / Martian 1: For more complete control, we also need an agent in the most economically advanced and influential nation. / Martian 2: Say no more. / Nigerian Finance Minister: Hello? Nigerian Finance Minister speaking.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1510 Me: If you saw a webcomic with a missing last panel and a button saying "Press me"... / Me: ... you might suspect it was some sort of newfangled interactive comic. / Me: And that clicking the button would reveal a really clever joke in the last panel that relies on concealment for humorous impact. / [[a mysterious button, saying "Press Me". When pressed, it reveals Me saying: But you'd be wrong.]]
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Irregular Webcomic! #1511 Monty: If we're going to sneak into one of the most secure and well-guarded buildings in the world, we should at least wait until night. / Prof. Jones: Good idea. I know an excellent restaurant where we can wait, just off Piazza di Spagna. / Prof. Jones: Wonderful antipasto, minestrone, pane di casa, pasta, risotto, veal scallopini, contorni, gelati... All you can eat for 150 lire. / Monty: That sounds like your type of place, dad. / Prof. Jones: I order 300 lire worth.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1512 [caption]: Meanwhile, at the Imperial Stormtrooper Training Academy: / Administrator 1: Too many students are failing our strict marksmanship accuracy qualifications. The Emperor demands action! / Administrator 2: Well, we could raise the training standards, but on our salaries... / Administrator 3: How about we lower the passing score? / Administrator 1: Oooh! Good idea! I doubt anyone will even notice. Yeah, nice thinking. What possible consequence could that ever have? Let's do it!
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Irregular Webcomic! #1513 Alvissa: Confusion spell? That's the first time I've ever seen you cast a non-fire-based spell, Kyros. / Kyros: Balrogs are creatures of flame. Any spell cast against them is therefore effectively fire magic. / Alvissa: Hmmm. Well, there was still something unusual about that spell... / Mordekai: Yes, it worked! Now, speaking of Balrogs, can we start running?!
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Irregular Webcomic! #1514 [[scene: The seedy side of the town on Bune where the space crew are currently in port.]] / Serron: This seedy part of town... it's pretty shady. / Iki Piki: You were expecting parks full of kids? / Serron: I wonder if there are any exotic drugs we can turn a profit on at the next world we visit. / Iki Piki: That reminds me. We need to install a smuggler's compartment somewhere where Spanners won't find it. / Serron: I figured we could wallpaper over the door to Paris' cabin.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1515 Terry: [[admiring the view as they walk across the Himalayas]] Nice countryside you have around here. / Yeti: Yes, we like it. / Yeti: Sir Edmund enjoyed the local terrain when he visited, of course. / Terry: Hillary? / Yeti: More mountainy, he called it, actually.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1516 Martian 1: Finally, we need a contact within Earth's defence forces. / Martian 1: Who's the most powerful military strategist we know on Earth? / Ishmael: Hello? Oh, not you guys again!
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Irregular Webcomic! #1517 Mate: The pirates are miles ahead of us, Captain Ponsonby. How are we going to find them with the entire Caribbean to hide in? / Crows Nest: Smoke off the port bow! / Ponsonby: Where there's smoke, there's fire, Mister Mate. / Mate: Does that smugness come from being captain, or just from being British?
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Irregular Webcomic! #1518 [[scene: Inside the Graf Zeppelin, flying over some snowy peaks.]] / Erwin: We arrive in Rome tonight. / Haken: Sehr gut. / Erwin: Look, Herr Kolonel! Die Austrian Alps. / Haken: Ja, ja, I've seen them. / Erwin: These hills, they are alive with die sound of music... / Haken: What did you say, Erwin? / Erwin: Nothing, Herr Kolonel.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1519 [[scene: The seedy side of the Bune starport town.]] / Serron: I'm not sure about this. Strange people and weird looks... It could be dangerous around here. / Iki Piki: Good, that's what we want. / Serron: Hmmm. Well, I suppose so. / Iki Piki: You just don't like it when you're not the most disreputable person around.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1520 [[scene: The party have just passed through a doorway and face a stone bridge spanning a vast bottomless chasm.]] / Dwalin: Thu Bridge of Khazad-Doom! [[translation: The Bridge of Khazad-Doom!]] / Dwalin: We joost nid tae cross thus, then make oor way doon a precarious collapsin' staircase tae safety! [[translation: We just need to cross this, then make our way down a precarious collapsing staircase to safety!]] / Dwalin: While bein' shot at by orcs and chased by thu Balrog! [[translation: While being shot at by orcs and chased by the Balrog!]] / Mordekai: Does anyone get a sense of foreboding? [[Flaming Balrog stands right behind Mordekai.]]
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Irregular Webcomic! #1521 [[scene: Two technicians are assembling an R2-unit droid, which stands between them, partially assembled.]] / Technician 1: Hologram recorder/projector? / Technician 2: Check. / Technician 1: Circular saw? / Technician 2: Check. / Technician 1: Cattle prod? / Technician 2: Check. / Technician 1: Fire extinguisher? / Technician 2: Check. / Technician 1: Life-form sensor? / Technician 2: Check. / Technician 1: Data probe? / Technician 2: Check. / Technician 1: Rocket thrusters? / Technician 2: Check. / Technician 1: Flashlight? / Technician 2: Check. / Technician 1: Periscope? / Technician 2: Check. / [[The droid is now almost complete.]] / Technician 1: Lightsabre ejector? / Technician 2: Check. / Technician 1: Welding arm? / Technician 2: Check. / Technician 1: Voice synthesiser? / Technician 2: No room.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1522 [[scene: The yeti village, where tea is laid out on a table.]] / Yeti: Good show, we're just in time for afternoon tea. Now, what can we do for you? / Terry: It's my husband, Steve... / Yeti: Sorry, one lump or two? / Terry: Sugar? / Yeti: Yak butter. / Terry: Er... none... thanks... / Yeti: You were saying?
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Irregular Webcomic! #1523 Stud: [[in a cell]] Electrified, huh? What rubbish. / [sound]: ZAP! / Stud: [[lying flat on his back in the cell]] Escape-proof, huh? / Stud: Okay, maybe.
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1523.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1524 [caption]: ==Mythbusters== Martians / / Jamie: It's time to bust the myth of the existence of Martians. In 1877, Giovanni Schiaparelli observed features on Mars that he called canali, or channels. / Jamie: Percival Lowell interpreted these markings as artificial canals, and became obsessed with the idea of an alien civilisation on Mars. / [sound]: Riiing! [[Adam reaches to answer the phone]] / Adam: [[holding out phone]] It's for you. They say they're looking for someone who can help them establish control of Earth's media.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1525 [[scene: The engineering room of the Legacy. Quercus is lying on his back under a piece of equipment, working on it.]] / Spanners: Two electrons are sitting on a park bench. A third electron comes up and says, "Move over so I can sit down." / Spanners: One of the others replies, "What do you think we are? Bosons?!" / Quercus: Ho ho ho ho! / Spanners: You know, Serron and Iki Piki wouldn't even have pretended to laugh at that. / Quercus: A bit exclusive about their jokes? / Spanners: They understand them Pauli. / Quercus: Well, I got a charge out of it. / [caption]: Space engineer humour.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1526 Me: I regret to have to inform everyone that I am discontinuing Irregular Webcomic! pending the outcome of litigation served by The Lego Group, ... / Me: ... Lucasfilm, J. K. Rowling, The Jane Goodall Institute, Beyond Productions and The Discovery Channel, Peter Jackson, the Tolkien Estate, ... / Me: ... Steve Jackson Games, Wizards of the Coast, Chaosium, Microsoft, Wildlife Warriors, EON Productions, The Government of Nigeria, and Disney. / Me: Actually, I don't know what I did to offend Disney. I think they just decided to get in on it.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1527 [[scene: The streets of Rome, night.]] / Prof. Jones: Do we have to go now? I'm so full I can hardly move. / Monty: I don't understand how you could eat so much pasta. / Prof. Jones: It was so good! / Monty: Or how you had room for gelato, tiramisu, baked ricotta cheesecake, panna cotta, zabaglione, and then coffee with savoiardi. / Prof. Jones: I engaged the dessert stomach.
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Irregular Webcomic! #1528 Dwalin: Quick! Acrooss thu Bridge! [[the party sets out across the narrow, precarious Bridge of Khazad-Doom]] / Lambert: For all the amazing feats of construction engineering we've seen in Dwergenberg... / Lambert: For all the advanced technological skills and astoundingly beautiful architecture you dwarves have... / Lambert: Haven't you heard of railings??!!
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Irregular Webcomic! #1529 Dirque: Arrr! The battle be over. Do we be scuttlin' 'er? / Long Tom: Aye! Scuttle 'er! Be sendin' 'er to the briny depths! That'll be teachin' Spanish merchants to be crossin' Cap'n Long Tom Short! / [sound]: Chop! Chop! Chop! [[the crew chop into the bottom deck of the merchantman with axes]] / Long Tom: [[angrily]] Be transferrin' the booty to our ship first!!
http://irregularwebcomic.net/1529.html
Irregular Webcomic! #1530 Yeti: Well, there's just no two ways about it. We simply must rescue this Steve chap from the horrible clutches of Cthulhu. / Yeti: And save the people of Nepal from a dreadfully ghastly fate at the same time, I jolly well imagine. / Tery: Thank you. But... how do you plan to defeat Cthulhu? / Yeti: We'll wrestle him! [[other yetis pump their arms enthusiastically]] / Terry: Are you sure Steve has never visited here before?
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