You're browsing the archives of Irregular Webcomic!.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Irregular Webcomic! #1351 | [title]: ==Jamie's Mythbusting Show== Contacting the dead / Jamie: Today's myth is that you can contact the dead with a seance. Like all supernatural myths, this is of course totally implausible. / Jamie: We'll try to get in touch with my departed colleague, Adam. / [sound]: RIIING! / Jamie: Hello? / Adam: [[over phone]] Jamie? It's Adam. I need your help. / Jamie: Even dead you ruin my experiments! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1351.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1352 | [[scene: the corridor outside Ishmael's room]] / Ishmael: They're Martians and they're real I tell you! / Man in Black: Mmm-hmmm... / Ishmael: They're in my room, ordering pizza and trying to play World of Warcraft! / Man in Black: Right... / Martian 1, 2, 3: [[running across screen behind the Man in Black's back]] Aiiieeee! Run!!! / Ishmael: That's them! / Man in Black: Insists they are in his room, then claims to see them outside said room. Clearly delusional and prone to confabulation. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1352.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1353 | Mordekai: Well I'll be. The orcs are all either dead or have run off in fear, and we're all okay! / [[beat as they look around]] / [[they look around some more]] / Alvissa: Where's Lambert? / Mordekai: Mostly okay... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1353.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1354 | [[scene: On board a pirate ship, at sea]] / Long Tom: Look sharp, laddies! We be raidin' Port Royal on the morrow! / Wendy: Nay! Me father be governor o' Port Royal! / Long Tom: What say ye? Ye ne'er be tellin' us yer father be a respectable member o' the rulin' elite? / Wendy: I ne'er say he be respectable. Arrr! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1354.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1355 | Minnesota Jones: ...and that is my thesis on why civilisation first arose in the Fertile Crescent. I couldn't leave that unrecorded for posterity. / Haken: Finished? / Minnesota Jones: Yes. / Haken: So are you finally prepared to die? / Minnesota Jones: Not actually prepared, as such... / Haken: No more delays! / Minnesota Jones: You're really not scoring very many positive points for how history will judge the Nazis here. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1355html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1356 | Ophelia: Come on, let's forget about Loren. Sushi for lunch? / Mercutio: [[overhearing in the background]] Count me in! / [[scene change: the three are walking down the street outside]] / Mercutio: I like that seaweed stuff they use to make sushi, but I'm not keen on the fish eggs. / Ophelia: Oh? / Mercutio: It's that whole roe versus weed thing. / Shakespare: And as long as the seaweed hasn't gone bad. / Mercutio: Yeah. You have to be careful not to go past the point of nori turn. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1356.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1357 | Dr No: [[off screen]] One million dollars, Mr Stud. / Stud: [[turning around to face the mysterious voice]] Hmm? / Dr No: You were wondering how much it cost. / Stud: As a matter of fact I was. Only that much though? Huh. / Dr No: This is 1962, Mr Stud! A million dollars is still a lot of money! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1357.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1358 | Spanners: I'm surprised the Allosaurus can move in the weightless conditions. It must be unusually and dangerously intelligent. / Serron: Wait, wait, wait... We're weightless? / Spanners: We're in space. Of course we are. / Spanners: We're wearing velcro shoes to stick to the floor. / Serron: We don't have artificial gravity?? / Spanners: This is a hard science setting, you know. / Paris: Could have fooled me... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1358.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1359 | Kyros: [[triumphant]] I call that a success. We're 95% okay! / Alvissa: Lambert's a sixth of the party! / Kyros: But he only counts as half... / Draak: That make us nine oh point nine oh nine oh and so on per cent... / Kyros: Don't confuse us with your primitive lizard man arithmetic! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1359.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1360 | [[scene: The Head Death's desk. Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals speaks to the Head Death with no-one else around.]] / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: 'oos' brain did'choo give 'im, guv? / Head Death: Remember the Reichstag fire? / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: Too right, I do. Insanely Overpowered Fireballs was 'appy... 'ang on a mo... / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: 'choo gave 'im 'itler's brain?! / Head Death: He can't possibly succeed. / [[scene change: Elsewhere on the Infinite Featureless Plane of Death, Adam is tinkering with the brain in a jar while getting phoned instructions from Jamie.]] / Jamie: [[over phone]] Then just connect the blue wire and you should be done. / Hitler's Brain: Was? Wo bin ich? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1360.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1361 | Minnesota Jones: Well you can't shoot us now. It's sunset. That just wouldn't be proper. / Haken: We are Nazis! We can shoot you whenever we want! / Prof. Jones: I don't suppose there's any chance we could get some dinner first? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1361.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1362 | Long Tom: We be havin' to be raidin' Port Royal. We be seekin' a treasure map that be reputed to be... uh... bein' there. Arrr! / Wendy: [[introspectively]] Aye. That be bein' a piratey activity... / Long Tom: Most excellently piratey it be. / Wendy: Aye then, we be raidin' Port Royal. But no killin's! / Long Tom: That not be piratey! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1362.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1363 | Me: [[pointing at the reader]] I challenge you! Rock, Paper, Scissors! Best of three! / [[scissors]] / [[paper]] / [[rock]] / [[thinking suspiciously]] / Me: [[glaring at the reader]] Are you sure you're not ceating? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1363.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1364 | [sound]: THUD! THUD! / Serron: Here comes the Allosaurus! Blasters ready! / GM: You can't fire weapons on a spaceship! Any idiot knows that! / Serron: Ah, irony. / Paris: That's not irony! / Serron: He said any idiot knows you can't fire weapons on a spaceship. Everyone else knows that's true. But will it stop us? / Paris: Ah. Tragic irony. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1364.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1365 | Nigerian Finance Minister: What if we tax people for donating? Then we could donate to ourselves, tax ourselves, and generate even more money! / Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: Hmmm. Thinking about the mathematics of that, there's just one problem... / Nigerian Finance Minister: Yes? / Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: We'd generate so much money we wouldn't be able to store it all! / Nigerian Finance Minister: We can offer a share to people if they help us out... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1365.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1366 | Dr No: Mr Stud, I am Dr No. / Stud: No? / Dr No: Yes. / Stud: Yes? / Dr No: No, No. / Stud: No-no? / Dr No: No! No! / Stud: No, yes? / Dr No: Yes! No! / Stud: No? Yes-no? / Dr No: No! No! No! / Stud: Yes! No-no! / Dr No: Argh! I don't know! / Stud: Third base! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1366.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1367 | [[scene: The Infinite Featureless Plane of Death]] / Lambert: What happened? / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: YOU WERE KILLED BY AN INSANELY OVERPOWERED FIREBALL. / Lambert: Hmmm. Well, it was bound to happen. Can't complain, I guess. Where are the others? / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: THEY SURVIVED. / Lambert: Oh now that's unfair! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1367.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1368 | Haken: Enough delays! We will shoot you now! / Haken: Achtung! / Haken: Legt an! / [sound]: BANG! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1368.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1369 | Me: Today, as a special treat, Irregular Webcomic! is going Canadian! / Me: Bonjour! Aujourd'hui, pour une surprise spéciale, Irregular Webcomic! va être Canadien. / Me: Eh! / Me: Sorry, I'm not sure how funny this is. I don't normally make fun of Canada. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1369.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1370 | Hitler's Brain: Das letzte, woran ich mich erinnere, ist ein irrsinnig mächtigen Feuerball... / Adam: Jamie! Something's wrong! The brain is speaking... er... French! / Jamie: Well it must be a French brain. Not everyone speaks English, you know. / Adam: Oh, did we bust that one? / Hitler's Brain: Ach du lieber... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1370.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1371 | [sound]: THUD! THUD! / Serron: It's coming on to the bridge!! / Spanners: Quercus! Where's the Allosaurus? / Quercus: I restrained it in the hold while I reset the circuit breakers. / Iki Piki: But Allosaurs are bloodthirsty carnivores with massively powerful jaws full of razor-sharp serrated teeth capable of rending flesh limb from limb! / Quercus: Yes. Lucky they're not herbivores. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1371.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1372 | Dirque: So Wendy, yer father be governor o' Port Royal? / Wendy: Aye. / Dirque: How d'ye be comin' to be a pirate wench? Be ye chasin' after yer true love who be standin' unfairly accused o' aidin' an' abettin' a pirate... / Dirque: ... and then be discoverin' his father be in eternal servitude to Davy Jones an' be swearin' to rescue him, thus leadin' to adventure an' mayhem? / Wendy: Nay. I just be likin' talkin' like a pirate. Arrr! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1372.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1373 | Head Death: [[on phone]] Get me Death of Being Shot By A Firing Squad. / Head Death: What's up with the... Oh. I see. / Head Death: Oh... I see... / Head Death: Yes, I know why it's called "Cliffhangers". http://irregularwebcomic.net/1373.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1374 | Me: Continuing our Canadian theme, I will now tell a Canadian joke. A Mountie, a lumberjack, and a Quebec separatist walk into a bar... / Me: L'auteur de ce bande dessinée ne parle pas français. Il a juste demandé pour un bénévole de ces forums d'internet de traduire quelques lignes de dialogue. / Me: And the Mountie said, "This poutine is terrible!" So the lumberjack tried some and spat it out too. Then the Québécois tasted it, and he said... / Me: "La prochaine fois vous voulez quelqu'un de traduire vos blagues stupides, offrez-vous moi quelque chose pour mes efforts, osti!" Ah hah ha ha ha! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1374.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1375 | Adam: [[shown from cameraman's POV, with video framing marks]] Here's your brain - kept alive in a jar with nothing but Nazi technology. / Hitler's Brain: Ach, Sie sprechen Englisch... / Head Death: WHAT? BUT... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. IT'S JUST A MYTH. IT CAN'T BE DONE. / Adam: So... you haven't succeeded in doing the same? I win the challenge! I get to return to life! But... more importantly... / Adam: Myth confirmed! / Hitler's Brain: Nazi science ist no myth! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1375.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1376 | Lambert: Now what? What are my options? / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: THERE'S THE AFTERLIFE. / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: OR IN YOUR CASE THERE'S THESE GREY HAVENS WHERE THE ELVES GO, BEING A METAPHOR FOR DEATH. / Lambert: That sounds cool. Are there any disadvantages? / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: YOU DON'T ACTUALLY GO THERE UNTIL WELL AFTER YOUR STORY PROPER HAS BEEN TOLD AND EVERYONE JUST WANTS IT TO FINISH ALREADY. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1376.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1377 | Serron: So let me get this straight. / Serron: Our ship is safe. Our cargo is safe. We're all safe. / GM: Yep. / Iki Piki: Something is fundamentally wrong here. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1377.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1378 | Head Death: THIS IS TRICKY. HISTORY RECORDS THAT YOU DIED IN THE REICHSTAG FIRE IN FEBRUARY 1933, HERR HITLER. / Hitler's Brain: I sneer at you! / Head Death: YOU CAN'T SNEER AT ME. YOU HAVE NO FACIAL EXPRESSION. / Hitler's Brain: Then... Nazi science sneers at you! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1378.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1379 | Steve: [[sitting at his computer]] I've been doin' some research, to find out some facts, Terry. / Terry: You've been doing what? / Steve: To find an animal that's not a reptile. Most of 'em are boring! / Terry: You've been doing what? / Steve: I think I found a good one we can go film. There's this whole website about them! / Terry: To find out some what? / Steve: The yeti! / Terry: Ah, I understand now. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1379.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1380 | Sallah: Are we dead, Monty? / Monty: I don't think so, Sallah. / Ginny: [[standing on a wall overlooking the execution site]] Colonel Haken! That was a warning shot! The next one is aimed at you! / Haken: Ach! Fraulein Doktor Smith! / Monty: Of all the executions, in all the towns, in all the world, she had to walk into mine... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1380.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 >>