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| Irregular Webcomic! #1321 | Alvissa: Let me get this straight. You channeled 200 points of mana with no way to get rid of it except to blow us up one way or another?! / [[everyone else in the party is staring at Kyros]] / Kyros: You almost make it sound like a bad idea. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1321.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1322 | Me: Hmmm. Wikipedia has a page about comics that mention Wikipedia. / [[Me reading.]] / [[Me looking thoughtful.]] / Me: [[to readers]] Go on. You know Wikipedia needs a page about comics that mention the page on Wikipedia about comics that mention Wikipedia... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1322.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1323 | [[scene: A firing squad wall in the prison in Berlin. Sallah and the Joneses are lined up against the wall.]] / Haken: So, Herr Doktor Jones, Herr Professor Doktor Jones, und Herr Schliemannian Chair Jones, have you made your peace with Gott? / Minnesota Jones: Well if we're going to be formal, the Chair is technically a professorship too. / Haken: Herr Schliemannian Chair Professor Doktor Jones, then! Are you prepared to die? / Minnesota Jones: Actually, I have two Ph.D.s. / Haken: Ach! Herr Schliemannian Chair Professor Doktor Doktor Jones. Is that all? / Minnesota Jones: Commander of the Order of the British Empire... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1323.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1324 | Mercutio: I'm trying to hack Loren's US government account. Can you engage her in conversation and subtly quiz her for likely passwords? / Mercutio: Often people use things like old pet names or their mother's maiden name. / Ophelia: Gotcha. / [[scene change: by the office water cooler]] / Loren: ... bringing the Ipsum family name to America, although my mother is actually half-Egyptian on her father's side. / Ophelia: Egyptian? Really? What's her maiden name? / Loren: Dolores Sit-Amet. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1324.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1325 | Terry: Jane Goodall came to visit. / Steve: That was nice of her. / Terry: She brought a bottle of champagne as a get well gift. I told her alcohol mixed with your medication could be dangerous. / Steve: Oh? / Terry: She went and bought you this case of vodka. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1325.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1326 | Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: YOU SURE 'BOUT THIS, GUV? 'E'S THE FIRST BLIGHTER I'VE GOT SINCE THE NINETEENFF CENTURY. / Head Death: HAVE YOU SEEN HIS SHOW? HE COULDN'T MYTHBUST HIS WAY OUT OF A PAPER BAG. / Adam: Actually, that's a myth... / Adam: All I need is thirty sticks of dynamite! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1326.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1327 | Spanners: Well, we're not dead yet. Er... no offence, Paris. Let's try to restore power. / Serron: Yeah! Good idea! Paris? / Paris: What? I can't do that from the bridge. There are manual circuit-breakers that need to be reset. By someone corporeal. / Serron: Where are they? / Spanners: In the cargo hold. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1327.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1328 | [[scene: Julius' alchemy lab]] / Marcus: Are you sure about this alchemical preparation for my arthritis? [[drinking hesitantly]] / Julius: It's harmless. / Marcus: Whoa! My legs are amazingly limber and flexible! [[flexing his legs easily]] / Julius: Careful! / Marcus: I feel like hitting the danshe floor! Yeshiree..! Hic! [[falls on the floor]] / Legionary: [[entering to check out the commotion]] What's the racket in here? / Julius: He just can't hold his elixir... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1328.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1329 | Lambert: Here come the orcs! / Dwalin: Stand firm, laddies! The dwarves ha' a prood tradition o' ne'er flinchin' from battle! [[translation: Stand firm, lads. The dwarves have a proud tradition of never flinching from battle!]] / Dwalin: No matter the odds, we ne'er give groond to the enemy, nor abandon oor fallen, nor alloow oor foes tae sense a shred o' fear or weakness in oor resolve! [[translation: No matter the odds, we never give ground to the enemy, nor abandon our fallen, nor allow our foes to sense a shred of fear or weakness in our resolve!]] / Dwalin: Yon halls were dwarf built a thoosand years agoo, and dwarven they shall remain! Dwergenberg isnae fallen so long as a dwarf remains tae defend it!! [[translation: These halls were dwarf built a thousand years ago, and dwarven they shall remain! Dwergenberg is not fallen so long as a dwarf remains to defend it!!]] / Mordekai: So... if you die first, we can run? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1329.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1330 | Haken: ...Doktor Doktor Jones, CBE. Are you ready to meet your maker? / Minnesota Jones: Distinguished Conduct Medal. Boer War, you know? / Haken: Herr Schliemannian Chair Professor Doktor Doktor Jones, CBE, DCM... / Minnesota Jones: And my father was a viscount. / Haken: Ach. So that makes you, what... a "Right Honourable"? / Minnesota Jones: Hardly! Maybe if I'd been a member of the Privy Council! No, it's just "The Honourable". / Prof. Jones: A gentleman would know these things... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1330.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1331 | [[scene: James Stud and Honey have moved to the dining room, where they stand admiring a panoramic underwater window.]] / Stud: Look at this window in the dining room. We must be 100 feet down. That species of rock cod doesn't live near the surface. / Honey: You know about fish now? / Stud: As much as I know about women. / Honey: Hang on... that's not a fish. It's a lump of rock. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1331.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1332 | Marlowe: Suboptimal news, team. The ISO 9001 UScon redraft has been re-IDed as a value-negated re-priority and rescheduled in an indefinite hiatal re-condition. / Marlowe: Ms Ipsum, you're to relocate your person to the U.S. via way of the most promptly immediate departure first thing tomorrow morning A.M. A.S.A.P. / Loren: Oh. Right. / Mercutio: [[to Ophelia]] Do you find it disturbing that she understood that without drawing a state diagram? / Ophelia: The buzzwords were disturbing enough. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1332.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1333 | Me: [[standing next to a whiteboard, with dialogue drawn on the whiteboard in capitals]] HEY! I HAD A GREAT IDEA FOR USING A WHITEBOARD IN A WEBCOMIC! / Other guy: [[dialogue also drawn on the whiteboard]] Hey, no need to shout, dude. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1333.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1334 | Steve: [[leaping out of his hospital bed]] I'm feelin' bonza, Terry. Let's go film some crocs! / Terry: Jane said no crocs, Steve. / Steve: Alligators, then? / Terry: No. / Steve: Coral snakes? / Terry: No. / Steve: Taipans? Brown snakes? / Terry: No. / Steve: [[increasingly desperate]] Komodo dragons?! / Terry: Jane drew up a list of banned reptiles. In fact... it's a list of all reptiles... / Steve: Crikey! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1334.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1335 | Iki Piki: So what now? / [[lights come back on]] / Paris: All systems operational! Well, that can only mean one thing... / Serron: The Allosaurus has learnt to operate the ship?! / Iki Piki: Or maybe two things. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1335.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1336 | Head Death: THE MYTHBUSTING CHALLENGE MYTH IS: NAZI SCIENCE WAS CAPABLE OF KEEPING A BRAIN ALIVE IN A JAR. / [[in the background, long red and black shapes can be seen aproaching the cameraman]] / Adam: Hmmm. We'll need living brains with no body... I don't know how we'll get access to... / [[in the background the red and black shapes slither menacingly]] / [[close up of Head Death's grinning skull]] / Adam: Never mind. / Cameraman: [[noticing the shapes near him and thinking to himself]] Snakes? On an infinite featureless plane? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1336.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1337 | Draak: Much orc, here now! / Mordekai: Fireball them! Quick! / Alvissa: Are you mad?! / Mordekai: Better he aims at them and not us! / Alvissa: This is Kyros we're talking about! / Mordekai: Oh, good point... / [sound]: Fwackoom! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1337.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1338 | Nigerian Finance Minister: I had an idea. What if we make the Nigerian Government a charity? People will donate money to us! / Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: That sounds good, Finance Minister, but it will be tax deductible and we'll lose the tax income. / Nigerian Finance Minister: Hmmm... / Nigerian Finance Minister: Even if we charge the standard up-front processing fee? / Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: For donations or tax returns? / Nigerian Finance Minister: Both! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1338.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1339 | Haken: The Honourable Herr Schliemannian Chair Professor Doktor Doktor Jones, CBE, DCM. Are you ready for die firing squad? / Minnesota Jones: Of course the achievement I'm most proud of is being elected Fellow of the Royal Society. / Haken: http://irregularwebcomic.net/1339.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1340 | Loren: Ophelia, I have to fly back to the US tomorrow. How am I going to break the news to Shakespeare? / Ophelia: Just... straight to the point. I'm... sure he'll manage okay. / Loren: Oooh, maybe we could have a net.romance. / Ophelia: I don't think... Wait. Did you actually say "net-dot-romance"? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1340.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1341 | Me: [[drawn badly, not photographed]] People sometimes ask why I don't draw my comics. / [[bad drawing of a face close up]] / [[bad drawing of a hand]] / Me: [[drawn, but looking completely different to in panel 1]] Now you know. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1341.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1342 | Spanners: Quercus must have restored the circuit breakers. Which means three things. / Spanners: 1. He's safe. 2. He's in the cargo hold. 3. Therefore... / Serron: Yeees...? / Spanners: The Allosaurus is somewhere else. / Iki Piki: You have a good sense of suspense, you know. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1342.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1343 | Martian 2: [[struggling with Ishmael's computer]] I can't get access; it's no good. / Martian 1: Curses. Earth's computer security is too good. / Martian 2: Hmmm... what's this? Half-Life 2? / Martian 1: Load it up! / Martian 2: Holy Zerg! It's some sort of advanced combat training simulator! This Earthling must be an elite warrior! / Martian 2: It's networked! Everyone on campus has it! / Martian 1: We've stumbled into a military base! Get out!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1343.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1344 | [[scene: The Infinite Featureless Plane of Death. Adam is next to a worktable stacked with tools and a human brain.]] / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: 'ERE'S YOUR BRAIN, GUV. AND SOME TOOLS WHAT THE NAZIS WOULD 'AVE 'AD. / Adam: I'll need a zeppelin. / Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals: FOR PARTS? / Adam: Kind of. What's cooler: a disembodied brain just in a jar, or in command of a zeppelin? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1344.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1345 | [[scene: The press conference where the League of Good Guys is telling reporters about Aqualich's plans]] / Worm Master: Aqualich left a clue. A cod, an eel, and a sole. / Refractive Man: "Where cod you eel a sole?" He's hiding out at Wilson's Shoe Repair! / [[side view of Aqualich yelling at TV. Behind him is a big old sign indicating the place they are hiding out in is the abandoned "Axis Pharmaceuticals" factory]] / Aqualich: You idiots! That's a haddock, a conger eel, and a plaice! "A plaice that congers haddocks"! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1345.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1346 | [[scene: Kyros at home in his tower of magical research.]] / [sound]: Knock! Knock! [[Kyros looks up from a book he is reading: Magus Incendia pro Baro]] / Charity Collector Guy: I'm collecting for the Fire Wizards with no Self-Control Benefit Fund. / Kyros: I am a fire wizard... [[flicks a small flame from his finger to demonstrate]] / Charity Collector Guy: Ho ho! Is that the best you can do? / Charity Collector Guy: [[scorched]] Oh... / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: KYROS IS THE CHARTER MEMBER. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1346.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1347 | Haken: The Honourable Herr Schliemannian Chair Professor Doktor Doktor Jones, CBE, DCM, FRS, JP. Is that it? / Minnesota Jones: Oh well now you've got it all wrong! JP comes before FRS. Any idiot knows that! / Haken: The Honourable Herr Schliemannian Chair Professor Doktor Doktor Jones, CBE, DCM, JP, FRS. Any last words? / Minnesota Jones: Well I should most certainly say so! / Nazi 1: [[firing squad member, to Haken]] Shall we come back after lunch, Herr Kolonel? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1347.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1348 | Nigerian Finance Minister: So, if we're a charity, we could donate to ourselves and claim the tax deductions, and generate money out of nothing! / Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: Um... There's just one problem with that, Finance Minister... / Nigerian Finance Minister: Yes? / Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat: The Finance Ministry doesn't actually pay taxes. / Nigerian Finance Minister: We don't? / Nigerian Finance Minister: Well, good move, but keep it quiet. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1348.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1349 | Ophelia: Well, Loren's gone, Will. Are you okay? / Shakespeare: It's for the best. / Shakespeare: http://irregularwebcomic.net/1349.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1350 | Paris: Sensors indicate something massive moving towards the bridge! / Iki Piki: Is it the Allosaurus? / Paris: Can't tell... the reading is indistinct. / Iki Piki: What sort of stupid sensors are those?! / Paris: I told Serron to install cameras, but no... he said these generic brand "sensors" were more Star Trekky. / Serron: And cheaper! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1350.html |
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