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Irregular Webcomic! #91 Qui-Gon: So will he be trained as a Jedi? / Mace Windu: No, he will not be trained. / / Qui-Gon: But he is the Chosen One! / Yoda: Our own counsel will we keep on who is to be trained, Master Qui-Gon. / / Qui-Gon: But why? Is he too old to begin the training? / / [[camera pans out to show Jar Jar waiting patiently outside the Jedi Council chamber]] / Yoda: No, too stupid. / Mace Windu: And what's with the "Meesa wanna be a Jedi" thing?
Irregular Webcomic! #92 Iki Piki: We're in a dungeon now? / Spanners: Cyberspace programmers tend to go for this sort of stuff. / / Spanners: Hey! Follow that rat! That could lead us to the symbolic key that gets us out of here! / / Paris: A treasure chest! / Spanners: That's probably it! Open it up! / / Paris: [[opens the chest]] Oooh! Shiny. / Spanners: Man, you wouldn't have lasted five minutes in a fantasy game, Paris.
Irregular Webcomic! #93 Spanners: Ah, a gem. This is probably it. Now to issue the command and see if we can get out of cyberspace. / / Spanners: System.exit(0)
Irregular Webcomic! #94 Spanners: We've been contracted to do a planetary survey and find usable new worlds. / Serron, Paris, Iki Piki: Cool! / / GM: Best of all, I've made my own random planetary system tables, based on real astrophysics! / / [caption]: Weeks later... / [[outside of the ship, showing a rocky, grey planet in the background]] / Serron: Man, this is the hundredth tide-locked airless rockball orbiting an M-dwarf we've found in a row! / / Iki Piki: You forgot that system with the uninhabitable gas giant with no interesting features whatsoever.
Irregular Webcomic! #95 Prof. Jones: [[crossing a perilous rope bridge]] So, Junior, if you don't want to save the world, why are you into archaeology? / / Monty: For the adventure... climbing cliffs, escaping in aeroplanes, swinging from broken bridges... / / Monty: [[opening mysterious door]] It's like always being at an amusement park. / / Idol: Sorry, we're closed. / Monty: Again?! / Prof. Jones. I see what you mean.
 
Irregular Webcomic! #96 [sound]: [[Charity Collector Guy knocking]] Knock! Knock! / / Steve: Yes, mate? / Charity Collector Guy: Hi, I'm campaigning for greater community awareness of trigonometry. / / Steve: Crikey! What can I do to help? / / Charity Collector Guy: [[hands over petition sheet]] Sine your name in support of the cos.
Irregular Webcomic! #97 Yoda: Time for Jedi to check e-mail it is. / / Yoda: Hmmm... Very disturbing this message is. / / Yoda: Welcome news this is not! / / Yoda: Need enlargement we do not! Size matters not!
Irregular Webcomic! #98 [web site heading]: Episode III, TheForce.net, EP3: Extra Casting for the Final Star Wars / Me: [[blah face]] / / Me: [[angry face]] / / Me: [[confused face]] / / Me: [[stupid face]] Man, with these acting skills, I'm a shoo-in at the casting call!
Irregular Webcomic! #99 Prof. Jones: This is it! The Grail should be just down this corridor! / / Prof. Jones: Look Junior! A knight! He must have been here guarding the Grail since the Crusades! / / Monty: [[looking over the table covered in cups]] Er... So which one is it? / Knight: That's for me to know, and you to find out. / / Prof. Jones: You've had over 800 years to come up with a cool logic puzzle, and that's the best you can do?
Irregular Webcomic! #100 Me: Wow. My comic is getting popular. / / Me: Might be time to register irregular.net. / / Me: [[puzzles over the idea]] / / Me: Naaah. Don't want to attract constipated readers.
 
Irregular Webcomic! #101 Haken: So, Dr Jones. We meet again. / Monty: Colonel Haken! / / Haken: [[pulls out a gun]] / [sound]: Bang!!! / Monty: DAD!!! / / Prof. Jones: [[lies on floor, shot]] / Monty: [[rushes over to his fallen father]] Dad!! Talk to me! / / Knight: See, this is why the Grail needs guarding. / Haken: Are you implying I don't deserve it?
Irregular Webcomic! #102 Terry: Steve... We need to talk.. / Steve: Just a sec, Terry. Can you pass me that rope? [[staring at crocodile with great interest]] / / Terry: I think you're too obsessed with crocodiles. / Steve: Isn't he a bewdy? Three metres long! / / Terry: It's just sick. Sick, I tell you! / Steve: Once these jaws are tied, we can get this critter to safety. Easy, boy! [[binding the crocodile's jaws shut with rope]] / / Steve: [[standing beside restrained crocodile]] Crikey! What were you saying, Terry? / Terry: Oh, nothing. Good job, Steve.
Irregular Webcomic! #103 Haken: So which one is the Grail? / Knight: That's for me to know and you to find out. / / Haken: Wise guy, huh? Well, it's obvious, it must be this fancy gold one. / / Haken: Ah yes, tastes good. / / Haken: [[turns into a skeleton]] / Knight: He chose... poorly. / Monty: Boy, do you have a gift for understatement.
Irregular Webcomic! #104 [caption]: 1997 / Me: [[reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone]] / / [caption]: 1998 / Me: [[reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets]] / / [caption]: 1999 / Me: [[reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban]] / / [caption]: 2000 / Me: [[reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire]] / / [caption]: 2001 / Me: [[screaming]] / / [caption]: 2002 / Me: Damn you, J. K. Rowling!
Irregular Webcomic! #105 Monty: Well, if I want to save dad, I guess I have to try one of these. / / Monty: This is the cup of a carpenter! / / Monty: [[takes a long drink]] / / Knight: You realise you could have given that to your father without risking your own life as well? / Monty: Now you tell me.
 
Irregular Webcomic! #106 Lambert: [[staring at a skeletonised adventurer]] Hmmm... A dead guy and a treasure chest. Now that's not suspicious. / / Kyros: Can you open it? / Mordekai: Probably. But you guys should keep back, where it's safe. / / Mordekai: Way way back. Further. Keep going. Never know what sort of foul traps could be in here. / / Alvissa: Is there gold? / Kyros: Jewels? / Mordekai: [[stuffs gold and jewels from the chest into his pockets]] No, just trap stuff. Let me er... put it in my pockets. Stay back!
Irregular Webcomic! #107 Monty: [[pouring water from the Grail between Prof. Jones' lips]] C'mon dad... get better... / / Prof. Jones: [[sitting up, unharmed]] Ooh... What happened? I feel much better. / / Prof. Jones: [[touching the Grail reverently]] This... Is it...? / Monty: Yes, dad. / / Knight: The Grail cannot be removed from this chamber. / Prof. Jones: But... we're the good guys!
Irregular Webcomic! #108 Me: [[holding device with buttons]] Yes!!! I've perfected a time travel device small enough to fit into my hand! / / Me: Now should I rescue texts from the Library of Alexandria? Kill Hitler's parents? See dinosaurs? Save the Hindenburg? / / Me: Or... Visit the future! / / Me: [[gleefully reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix]]
Irregular Webcomic! #109 Motti: This battle station is the ultimate power in the Galaxy! 120km in diameter, with an inhabitable shell 2km thick... / / Motti: We have space for 700,000 troops, not to mention countless bottomless chasms spanned by narrow walkways with no guard rails. / / Stormtrooper: Lord Vader, we've found the rebel base! / Vader: Where? / Stormtrooper: It was here inside the Death Star all along! / / Stormtrooper: We weren't patrolling that 875 billion cubic metres. I mean, it's only 1% of the habitable volume. We just missed it. / Vader: You were saying?
Irregular Webcomic! #110 Vader: The Death Star will be completed on schedule. / Emperor: You've done well, Lord Vader. And now I sense you wish to continue your search for young Skywalker. / / Vader: Actually, I'm more worried if this second Death Star is such a good idea. / / Vader: After all, the first one was a complete bollocks. All that hardware and personnel in one vulnerable package. / / Vader: Admit it, my Master. You just build these to impress chicks. / Emperor: I wonder if your feelings on this matter are clear, Lord Vader.
 
Irregular Webcomic! #111 Paris: [[realising she's made of LEGO again]] Oh man! Are we stuck in cyberspace again? / Spanners: Looks like. / / Spanners: Well, we better get moving and see if we can find our way out of here. / Paris: Virtual reality sucks! / / GM: [[totally enthused]] Oh, c'mon! Virtual reality is where all the most brilliantly cool stuff happens! / / Paris: The sad part is he doesn't even see The Matrix Reloaded until tomorrow...
Irregular Webcomic! #112 Harry: So what are we looking for in Diagon Alley, Hermione? / Hermione: Something to reverse undesired transfigurations. / / Harry: This hasn't got anything to do with that mouse we found in Gryffindor tower, has it? / / Hermione: Here we are. This place should have it. / Harry: You didn't answer my question. / / Harry: And why didn't you ask Ron to come here with us? / Hermione: Remember how he said he liked cheese?
Irregular Webcomic! #113 Martian 2: You understand the plan? / / Martian 1: Yes, sir! / Martian 1: Fly to Earth, buzz some yokels, abduct the least credible people I can find, leave no physical evidence, and try not to crash the saucer! / / Martian 2: Right. That should teach the Earthlings we mean business! / / Martian 3: Brilliant plan. / Martian 2: Can't fail.
Irregular Webcomic! #114 Worm Master: Yes! Now I can control the mutant space worm! / / Refractive Man: So the dinosaur DNA treated by a laser fired through my torso and fed to it on a spatula worked? / [[A giant, mutant space worm is no longer crushing the city]] / / Captain Spatula, Dino Boy: EXCELLENT!!! / / GM: You know, it's really hard coming up with uncontrived plots that fit these characters...
Irregular Webcomic! #115 Terry: What's this, Steve? / Steve: A magic spell book, Terry! / / Steve: It says it can summon the most fearsome critters imaginable! Crikey! That sounds fun! / Terry: Load of rubbish, Steve. / / Steve: Let's try it and see. Here's one. Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! / / Terry: Oh that's ridiculous! That'll never work. [[Cthulu looms menacingly behind them]]
 
Irregular Webcomic! #116 Me: [thinking] Harry Potter fan fiction? / / Me: [thinking] People write stories using characters from Harry Potter, and post them to the Internet?? / / Me: [thinking] [[rolls eyes]] Man, they need to get a life. / / Me: [thinking] [[playing with his little LEGO figures]] Now, time to make another webcomic.
Irregular Webcomic! #117 Lambert: And what about when Neo and Trinity... / Mordekai: Oh yeah, man. That was awesome. / / GM: [[enraged]] Aaaarrgghh!! Matrix Reloaded spoilers! I haven't seen it yet! / / GM: Take this! [[Party miniatures crushed by Player Handbook]] / [sound]: BLAM!!! / / GM: [[pointing]] Let's see a cleric try to resurrect that!
Irregular Webcomic! #118 Terry: Steve! It's mighty Cthulhu! / Steve: [[tying the horror from beyond up with some rope]] Crikey! He's a bit stroppy! / / Terry: It's an unspeakable horror from the depths of mankind's most fevered imaginations! / Steve: 'E's just misunderstood! / / Terry: It's a cyclopean blasphemy of hideous cosmic geometry! / Steve: Look at the tentacles and wings! Bewdiful! / / Steve: It's another endangered species we must protect! [[gestures to Cthulhu, struggling in its ropes]] / Terry: You failed your SAN check, didn't you?
Irregular Webcomic! #119 [[Stormtroopers fire eratically everywhere but at Luke and Obi-Wan]] / Luke: These guys can't shoot for peanuts. Back on Tatooine you said, "Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise." / / Luke: Was that just a scam to get me to come to Alderaan? / / Obi-Wan: Their shooting is precise... from a certain point of view. / / Luke: That's Jedi code for, "I lied my butt off," isn't it?
Irregular Webcomic! #120 GM: [[glancing meaningfully over his copy of GURPS Rogues]] You see a mysterious looking stranger talk to the barkeep in hushed tones and hand over a bag of money. / / Lambert: We ignore him and go visit the town blacksmith to look for cool magical weapons. / / GM: Sometimes I wish you guys would just follow the adventure plot. / Kyros: Follow the plot? What is this, some sort of fantasy game?
 

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