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| Irregular Webcomic! #1081 | Serron: [[checking the ship's computer]] Hmmm, what's this e-mail? / Serron: A cyberspace software patch? Sitting around uninstalled, too. / Serron: Doesn't anyone but me do any real work around here?! I guess it's up to me to install it. / Paris: [[in cyberspace, vanishing from the feet up]] What the... Hey!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1081.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1082 | T-Rex: Today, I'd like to expound on the nature of reality. / Utahraptor: So, what about the nature of reality? / [[silent beat]] / T-Rex: [[looking confused]] Heck if I know! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1082.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1083 | Ginny: [[appearing suddenly in the train compartment, catching Monty with her open suitcase]] Aha! Caught you red-handed! / Monty: How ironic, comrade. But there's no orichalcum in there anyway. What does it matter? / Ginny: You've committed a crime against a Soviet citizen on Soviet soil. Legal representatives of your government can't petition for your release now. / Monty: As if that matters to Stalin? / Ginny: Lawyers give his dogs indigestion. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1083.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1084 | Alvissa: So we want to sneak back into a town we've been run out of by a rampaging mob wielding pitchforks and flaming torches... / Alvissa: ... to surreptitiously acquire food and horses without any of the townspeople discovering us and lynching us? / Mordekai: Don't worry, Alvissa. It'll be easy. / Alvissa: How so? / Mordekai: We now have all the experience we got doing the exact same thing at the previous village we visited! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1084.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1085 | [sound]: [[Steve revs up the motorcycle]] Vrrooommm!!! [[he takes off towards the launching ramp in front of the shark tank]] / Jamie: There he goes! You know, that ramp looks a bit far away to me. Did you do the trajectory calculations, Adam? / Adam: Of course. To our normal high standards of accuracy! / Jamie: Uh oh... / Terry: Steve! Stop!! / [sound]: Vroooom!! [[Steve flies up the launch ramp...]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/1085.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1086 | Spanners: Okay, we have the skin flakes. Let's load them into the DNA growth simulator to see who we've got. / Iki Piki: [[watching a simulated image of Paris appear on the monitor]] It's Paris! Yay! We should let her know. / Spanners: Right. / Spanners: [[into the communicator panel]] Hi Paris. Hello? ... Paris? ... Spanners calling Paris in cyberspace, are you there? We have good news. / Serron: She hasn't been answering for the past half hour. Probably sulking. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1086.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1087 | Mercutio: Hey Will, how many members of a demographic or occupational group does it take to change a lightbulb? / Shakespeare: Er... how many? / Mercutio: N+1. One to change the bulb and N to act in a stereotypical manner. / [[silent beat]] / Shakespeare: Sometimes your metahumour is just too bizarre, Mercutio. / Mercutio: I never meta humour I didn't like... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1087.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1088 | [[scene: The Caribbean island of Crab Key. Quarrel is dragging the rowboat on to the beach, while James Stud supervises.]] / Stud: So why are the locals afraid of Crab Key, Quarrel? / Quarrel: There's a dragon, cap'n. / Stud: A dragon? Ho ho ho! I find that hard to believe! / Stud: Dragons aren't native to the Caribbean... Although... I suppose Dr No is Chinese. He could have had one imported... Hmmm... / Quarrel: Or maybe it's just a tank disguised as a dragon. / Stud: Don't be ridiculous! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1088.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1089 | [caption]: Kiev Station, Moscow / Haken: [[pointing a gun at Monty and company, on the train platform]] So, Herr Doktor Jones, we meet again. Again. / Monty: Yes. And this time, the advantage is mine! / Haken: No, this time it is mine! / Monty: You claimed it was yours last time! / Haken: Ach! / Erwin: Can I have a go? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1089.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1090 | [caption]: [[title]] a soft-focus world / [[scene: The art is a photograph split across three panels like a triptych; the photo is a fuzzy, blurry, shot of what looks like a wedding reception, or a party, or maybe some random people standing in a streetscape. Who knows?]] / [caption]: It's times like this / [caption]: when I stop to look at the world / [caption]: that I wish my camera would take decent photos. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1090.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1091 | Lambert: This mess over bail money reminds me of my uncle Bilbert. He needed bailing out of jail plenty of times in his life, you know. / Mordakai: Yes, yes, we've heard this tedious story before... / Draak: Draak want hear more! / Lambert: Fortunately he'd been able to procure a collection of valuable mink coats for his wife. Every time he got arrested she'd swap one for his release. / Alvissa: She kept on doing this every time? / Lambert: Yes, it was a hobbit-for-mink activity. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1091.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1092 | Spanners: We better go into cyberspace and find Paris to tell her we can clone her body and bring her back to life. / 2 [[scene change: Cyberspace. The background is bright and garish instead of the usual neutral grey.]] / Iki Piki: Paris! Helloooo!! Where are you? / Spanners: This virtual reality seems different to normal. More detailed and smooth. Almost like the software's been upgraded or... / Spanners: ... patched... / Serron: You can thank me later. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1092.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1093 | [sound]: Vrooom!! [[Steve flies through the air above the shark tank on his motorcycle]] / 2 [sound]: Splash! [[Steve splashes ito the bay beyond the tank]] / Terry: He made it! He jumped the shark! / Jamie: Amazing! / Jamie: Now for the myth. Has the standard of our program dropped, Adam? Have we gone downhill yet? / Adam: Hard to tell, Jamie. I'm not sure how to calibrate our initial quality level... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1093.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1094 | Julius: I've decided to take a charta from your libro, Marce, and tour the provinces. I'm going on a trip to Athenae. / Marcus: Ah, a beautiful city. Be warned though, the highway is being upgraded by slaves who speak Latin quite poorly. You'll notice it more as you travel closer. / Marcus: Strange tense changes, incorrect verb endings. But worst of all are the ways they mangle noun cases. It's sad to even think of it. / Julius: Oh? / Marcus: Yes. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1094.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1095 | Haken: Ja, we have you in our clutches now. This time you will not be getting away. / Haken: We have had plenty of time to plan this out before you arrived. We have die zeppelin waiting to take us all straight to Berlin. / Haken: Die Führer will be most pleased. And all of you will suffer his wrath! Umph! Umph! Umph! / Minnesota Jones: Now if there's one thing I can't stand, it's triumphant gloating. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1095.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1096 | Quarrel: Say cap'n, there's a woman out there! [[pointing at a woman in a bikini emerging from the sea]] / Stud: Oh my... / [[The woman stand up and shakes the water off herself...]] / [[Close up, showing the stunning figure accentuated by a white bikini of this gorgeous blond... Lego figure...]] / Me: [[Comparing the Lego woman figure to a photo of Ursula Andress]] Somehow it's just not quite the same done this way... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1096.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1097 | [[scene: cyberspace]] / Iki Piki: {getting mad at Serron} You deleted Paris!! / Serron: All I did was install the patch! / Iki Piki: Didn't you read the installation notes?! / Serron: I expected it to do something sensible and safe! / Iki Piki: [[really mad now]] Don't you know anything about software?!! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1097.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1098 | Alvissa: I'll go back into Footcrag to buy horses and supplies. You lot stay here. Especially don't go near the tavern. [[she leaves]] / [[The remaining party members stand around silently]] / [[More silence]] / Lambert: I'm hungry. / Kyros: Good enough for me. Let's go! / Draak: Draak like! / Mordekai: Yeah! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1098.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1099 | Leia: [[coquettishly]] Aren't you a little short to be a stormtrooper? / Luke: What? Oh... the uniform. [[takes stormtrooper helmet off]] / Luke: I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you. / Leia: You're who? / Luke: I'm here to rescue you. I've got your R2 unit. I'm here with Ben... Hang on, you thought I was a stormtrooper? / Leia: Er... / Luke: Do you make it a habit to flirt with Imperial troops like that? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1099.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1100 | Terry: Steve! [[as Steve climbs out of the bay on to the aquarium floor by the shark tank]] / Adam: That was fantastic! How on Earth did you make that jump? / Jamie: The ramp was too far away and Terry yelled at you to stop! / Steve: Crikey! I just did what I always do when I'm driving and someone yells at me to stop. Hit the accelerator! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1100.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1101 | Haken: Now we have you, und with you, die orichalcum! Nazi science will analyse this metal and build indestructible machines of war! / Haken: Orichalcum armoured tanks, orichalcum plated battleships, und die ultimate weapon of air superiority... / Haken: Die Orichalcum Zeppelin! / Erwin: That would be a good name for a band, Herr Kolonel. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1101.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1102 | [caption]: Robert the Infuriated Inflorescence / Bob: We're incomprehensily in medias res! / Lovebot: http://irregularwebcomic.net/1102.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1103 | [[scene: Head Death's desk on the otherwise infinite featureless plane of Death]] . Paris: So I'm really dead now? / Head Death: YES. / Paris: What are the alternatives? / Head Death: ALTERNATIVES? THERE ARE NO ALTERNATIVES. / Paris: There are always alternatives. / Head Death: MR SPOCK. THE GALILEO SEVEN. HE GOT OUT OF THAT ONE. I FAIL TO SEE THE RELEVANCE. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1103.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1104 | Honey: Who are you? / Stud: Stud. James Stud. Don't worry. I'm not supposed to be here either. / Honey: Are you looking for shells too? / Stud: No, I'm just looking. / Quarrel: Cap'n! There's a gunboat coming! / Stud: Hold on... I'm busy looking... / [sound]: takatakatakatakataka! / Quarrel: They're opening fire! / Stud: Still looking... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1104.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1105 | [[scene: outside the tavern in Footcrag]] / Mordekai: What the heck did we do in this tavern to get arrested anyway? Anyone remember anything? / Lambert: Nope. / Kyros: Not me. / Draak: It big blank in Draak mind. / Lambert: Well, it can't have been that bad. / Mordekai: How so? / Lambert: The tavern's still here. / Kyros: Even the inflammable bits. / Draak: This stun Draak like axe to head. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1105.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1106 | Adam: I guess we have to wait for the ratings to see if our show started stinking when Steve jumped the shark. / Terry: How soon until this episode goes to air? / Jamie: A couple of weeks. Why? / Terry: We really should be out of the country before the Fish and Wildlife Service finds out we're here. / Steve: But that was years ago! And those bald eagles were big enough to fend for themselves without such stroppy parents! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1106.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1107 | [[scene: The Galactic Republic Senate. Palpatine and Anakin sit watching an antigravity water ballet.]] / Palpatine: Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... / Palpatine: He had such a knowledge of the Dark Side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying... / Anakin: Is it possible to learn this power? / Palpatine: Not from a Jedi... / Anakin: So... I should join the Dark Side because it has a good health plan? / Palpatine: And flexible working hours. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1107.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1108 | Monty: [[walking along the station platform, guided by Haken and Erwin with guns]] You have an escape plan, right? This is your home territory. / Ginny: I knew it would be tough evading Haken if he was ahead of us. Why do you think I asked you along to help? / Monty: Maybe you just couldn't bear to be away from me? / Ginny: Or maybe I thought you might get a useful idea for once? / Prof. Jones: What's the third option? Neither of those two sound very plausible to me. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1108.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1109 | Iki Piki: Oh man. I can't believe Paris is finally really dead this time. I think we need another funeral, to say goodbye properly. / Spanners: But we have no body./ Serron: We can clone one! / [[silent beat]] / Iki Piki: Sounds reasonable. / Spanners: I'll get right on it. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1109.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1110 | Nigerian Finance Minister: Hmm... e-mail from First Bank of Nigeria. / Nigerian Finance Minister: "Please confirm your online banking details by clicking the link below." / Nigerian Finance Minister: This is outrageous! I should report this to our IT department! / Nigerian Finance Minister: [[to Nigerian Finance Bureaucrat]] Ask them why we aren't including handy links like this in our own revenue raising e-mails! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1110.html |
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