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| Irregular Webcomic! #1051 | Ginny: I have a proposal to offer. We both want to get to Moscow. If we join forces we can make this much easier. / Monty: But... we only wanted to get there to intercept you! / Ginny: We'll need our combined resources to get past Haken and Erwin, who'll be waiting for us. / Prof. Jones: Well that sounds very reasonable. / Monty: It makes no sense at all! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1051.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1052 | [[scene: James Stud's hotel room, at night. He lies asleep in bed. A tarantula crawls slowly across the floor.]] / [[The tarantula reaches the bed and climbs up.]] / [[The tarantula slowly crawls up the sheets to Stud's face...]] / [[It is really close now...]] / [[It changes its mind and slinks off to a corner of the room...]] / [[Where it keels over and dies.]] / Professor Dent: Curse it. Even for a female spider, being in bed with Stud is too traumatic. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1052.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1053 | Adam: [[watching Steve and the shark thrash about in the tank]] Oh dear. This is terrible! A tragedy! / Jamie: Steve has jumped right into the tank with a 12 foot great white shark... / Adam: And we don't have the cameras set up yet! [[indicating two camera operators nearby who are desperately rushing to start filming]] http://irregularwebcomic.net/1053.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1054 | Marcus: [[singing]] You take the via supernam, I'll take the via inferam, and I'll be in Caledonia afore ye! / Julius: Is that another thing you picked up from your trip to Britannia? / Marcus: Yes. The Celts play some very catchy tunes on instruments called bagpipes. They travel the land with an entourage of warriors who wear blue body paint. / Julius: Oh? / Marcus: They call them "woadies". http://irregularwebcomic.net/1054.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1055 | Starport Control: [[over radio]] Legacy, our records show you weren't here a week ago. Your last departure was nine weeks ago. / Paris: Nine weeks?! Oh, damn, I forgot about the cyberspace time dilation. Any chance the docking bay hasn't been cleaned in that time, so we can still search it? / [[silent beat]] / Starport Control: Bring your own contamination suits. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1055.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1056 | Alvissa: You stole the bail money?! / Mordekai: I prefer "returned to its rightful owner". / Alvissa: All 40 nobles?! / Mordekai: Er... 40 was it? Um, yeah, that's all I took. / Kyros: Say, Mordekai, why don't you return the "whole 40 nobles" and then we can "share" the feeling of honesty? / Alvissa: Do I look stupid? / Draak: Draak want share too! / Lambert: What? I don't get it... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1056.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1057 | Monty: That's a ridiculous proposal! There's no way we'll travel to Moscow with you! Now hand over the orichalcum! / Ginny: I sent it on ahead to Moscow. I'm taking the next train. I think you have no choice but to accompany me. Here are your tickets. / Monty: I think we've been railroaded, dad. / Prof. Jones: Yes, but at least we're back on track. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1057.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1058 | [caption]: ==Mythbusters== Man vs Shark / Jamie: Well Adam, we've pitted a man against a shark to test the myth that great whites are maneaters. / Jamie: And the result...? / Adam: Given the thrashing we saw in the tank just now... myth confirmed! / Steve: [[unseen, from tank]] Crikey! Let's see you try that without tonsils! / Adam: Uh... or maybe not... http://irregularwebcomic.net/1058.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1059 | Professor Dent: [[observing from outside James Stud's room}]] Curses. The spider didn't work. I'll have to shoot him. / Professor Dent: [[opening the door]] But wait... If he's smart he'll have put pillows in the bed as a decoy and be waiting alert behind the door. / Professor Dent: A-ha! [[springing to confront an empty space behind the door]] / Stud: [[from bed, half asleep]] Hmmmf...? Wha...? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1059.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1060 | Spanners: Okay, Iki Piki and I will go out and sweep the docking bay for skin samples. / Serron: What about me? / Spanners: You stay here on board where you can't do any more damage. / Serron: [[sulkily]] Okay, okay, I'll just browse their worldnet... / Iki Piki: No posting get rich quick scams! / Serron: Oh man, can't I do anything worthwhile? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1060.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1061 | Jar Jar: [[walking casually through a Naboo swamp]] Dum-de-dum... de-doo... / [sound]: Fwackoom! / Jar Jar: [[standing on the infinite featureless plane of Death, and spotting Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs]] Muy muy! Dis issa most disturbing anda unexpected! / Me: Oh come on, like I needed a reason? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1061.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1062 | [[scene: an angry mob bearing pitchforks and flaming torches spots the fantasy party just outside the town of Footcrag]] / Mob Member: There they are! They stole the town treasury! After them! / Alvissa: http://irregularwebcomic.net/1062.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1063 | [[scene: A shadowy and horrible visage looms insanely]] / [caption]: Silent night, eldritch night / All is mad, all is blight / Round yon gibbering mother and child / Noxious infant so grim and reviled / Sleep in sunken R'lyeh / Sleep in sunken R'lyeh. / [[It's Cthulhu!]] / [caption]: Silent night, eldritch night / All lose SAN at the sight / Fungi stream from Yuggoth afar / Pustulent hosts sing, "Iä! Iä"! / Dead, but dream eternal / Dead, but dream eternal. / [[Aaaiiiieeee....]] / [caption]: Silent night, eldritch night / Spawn of Yig, hate's foul spite / Radiant colour from out of space / Heralds coming of the Elder Race / Cthulhu fhtagn / Cthulhu fhtagn. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1063.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1064 | [[scene: the train platform at Kiev railway station]] / Ginny: Zdrastvuitye! Is the train to Moscow running today? / Train Guy: Da. Leaving for Moscow on time. / Monty: On time? It's been stuck in Kiev for two days! / Train Guy: Soviet government defines on time when train arrives. Train running late impossible! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1064.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1065 | Stud: [[brandishing his own gun at Professor Dent]] Drop the gun, Dent. I have you covered. / Professor Dent: [[hands up]] So now what? You shoot me to demonstrate your cold ruthlessness? That's rather controversial for a hero. / Stud: I have a reputation to uphold. It's either kill someone in cold blood or bed a woman at least once every five scenes. / Professor Dent: Oh man... I'm toast. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1065.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1066 | [[scene: by the office water cooler]] / Shakespeare: I had a cool idea to make Google more fun. / Shakespeare: If you search for information on some topic and there are no hits, it should just invent something! / Shakespeare: String together a semi-random series of words vaguely related to the subject by different authors and pretend it's all true! / Mercutio: You mean like Wikipedia? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1066.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1067 | [[scene: The shark tank at Monterey Bay Aquarium]] / Terry: Steve! You're alive! / Steve: [[climbing out of the tank]] Crikey! Course I am! / Steve: That shark wasn't nearly aggressive enough to survive in the wild. Terry, we 'ave to free 'im! / Steve: 'e needs to relearn the ways of 'is species rather than be exploited by humans for cheap amusement! / Jamie: Does this mean you won't jump over it on a motorcycle? / Steve: Nah, I'll do that first! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1067.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1068 | [[scene: A filthy starport docking bay. Piles of old crates and barrels and other junk litter the floor]] / Iki Piki: So here we are, searching a grimy starport docking bay for flakes of our ex-crewmate's skin. It's the bright future our parents always dreamed of... / Spanners: This place is filthy! Look at this decaying crate of mouldy old advertising fliers. / Spanners: "A proof that all consistent axiomatic formulations of number theory include undecidable propositions ... which also offers firm slimming control?" / Iki Piki: What product is that for? / Spanners: "I Can't Believe it's a Gödel!" http://irregularwebcomic.net/1068.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1069 | [[{scene: the woods some distance from the town of Footcrag]] / Mordekai: We can stop running. It looks like we've evaded the angry mob. / Alvissa: [[to Kyros]] Frankly, I'm surprised you didn't fireball them. / Kyros: I thought you didn't want me to be subtle any more... / Lambert: Fireballs are subtle now? / Kyros: Aren't they? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1069.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1070 | Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: I'M REQUIRED TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU MAY CHALLENGE FOR YOUR LIFE. YOU MAY PICK ANY CONTEST. / Jar Jar: Meesa pick pod racing! / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: WHAT'S THAT? / Jar Jar: Yousa pulls a flimsy pod with two muy muy bombad jet engines, and yousa races through canyons and tunnels, and yousa gots sandpeople shooting at you... / Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs: DO I LOOK AS THOUGH I HAVE A DEATHWISH? / Jar Jar: Yessa, you do! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1070.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1071 | ]]scene: A compartment on the train to Moscow. Monty and his grandfather sit on seat facing Dr Smith and Professor Jones.]] / Monty: [[to self]] I can't believe we're on a train to Moscow, accompanied by a Russian agent. / Ginny: [[standing]] Excuse me for a moment, gentlemen. I need to go talk to the guard. [[leaves the compartment]] / Monty: What a fine mess we're in this time. / Prof. Jones: I'll say, Junior. / Prof. Jones: The dining car is right up the far end of the train! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1071.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1072 | Shakespeare: [[by Ophelia's desk]] Unbearability. / Ophelia: No. / Shakespeare: Misconception. / Ophelia: No! / Ophelia: Will, I said this document needs a synonym for "female infertility". / Shakespeare: [[helpfully]] Impregnability. / Ophelia: You're doing this on purpose! / Shakespeare: [[cheerfully]] Underuterisation. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1072.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1073 | [[scene: A fine Jamaican morning]] / Helix: Morning James. Quarrel here has agreed to take us out to Crab Key tonight. / Stud: You did tell him that I get the girl and he takes the lethal deathtraps? / Quarrel: Yes cap'n, he did. / Quarrel: But I figure the odds of the first are so low, there's a good chance the second ain't gonna happen either. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1073.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1074 | Steve: [[looking at a motorcycle parked near the shark tank]] Let me just inspect this bike for safety. / Jamie: Good idea. Here's your helmet. / Steve: Helmet?! Crikey! I don't need that! / Jamie: I thought you were concerned with safety? / Steve: I just don't want the bike to conk out and land in the water with that now incredibly stroppy 12-foot great white thrashin' about! / Adam: Ah, good point. / Steve: 'e might get hurt! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1074.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1075 | T-Rex: You know what would be funny? If this comic did a parody of another, well-known, comic! / T-Rex: But do you know what would be tragic? / Dromiceiomimus: If, because of hardcoded pixel size limitations, this comic couldn't fit in the full strip format of the comic being parodied? / T-Rex: Yes! Silly author! Also: http://irregularwebcomic.net/1075.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1076 | [[scene: the grimy starport docking bay]] / Spanners: Okay. The hypervac says we've picked up some human skin flakes. / Spanners: Along with warp engine grease, rocket exhaust particulates, random dust and lint, space roaches, a slice of pizza, three flavours of gum... / Spanners: ... some dried phlegm, antimatter coolant, traces of chimpanzee faeces, grav transmission fluid, sparrial fur, and various unidentifiable bits of random grime. / Iki Piki: Man. When we clone Paris she's going to need to shower for a week. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1076.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1077 | scene: The compartment on the train to Moscow]] / Monty: I don't trust Dr Smith. How could she have sent the orichalcum to Moscow? I'm checking her suitcase. [[reaches for her suitcase]] / Monty: [[opening case to reveal chunks of a bluish metallic material]] Aha! / Minnesota Jones: That's not orichalcum. It's lithium. / Monty: You don't know what lithium looks like, grandad! How could you possibly make that deduction? / Minnesota Jones: Element three, my dear boy. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1077.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1078 | Lambert: Hmmm. It looks like we're out of food. In our haste to leave Footcrag, we forgot to resupply. / Alvissa: Look how disorganised you lot are! You'd forget your own heads if they weren't screwed on! / Alvissa: If it wasn't for me, we'd have misplaced more than just food. / Kyros: Didn't we have horses at some point? http://irregularwebcomic.net/1078.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1079 | Jamie: [[to assistants offscreen]] Okay, bring in the launch ramp! / Terry: [[watching assistants install a ramp next to the shark tank]] Where's the landing ramp? / Adam: There isn't room for one. We thought Steve could land in the bay... / Terry: What?!! / Adam: ... if he makes it over the tank. / Steve: Crikey! Beaut! http://irregularwebcomic.net/1079.html |
| Irregular Webcomic! #1080 | [[scene: A moonlit night on the Caribbean. A small rowboat makes its way from Kingston to Crab Key.]] / Quarrel: [[rowing]] We got six miles to row to reach Crab Key, cap'n. / Stud: [[sitting back, relaxing in the boat]] Yes, you're doing a great job, Quarrel. / Quarrel: Maybe you could lend a hand... / Stud: I'd offer you a martini, but I don't want to adversely affect your stamina. http://irregularwebcomic.net/1080.html |
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